Mindfulness in Action: Letting Go of “Should”

How to Build a Life of Contribution with Tom Rath

What if the real value of achievement isn’t what it proves about us, but how it contributes to others? In this episode, I sit down with bestselling author, researcher, and publisher Tom Rath. Tom is known for books like How Full Is Your Bucket?, StrengthsFinder 2.0, Strengths-Based Leadership, and Eat, Move, Sleep. His work has shaped how millions of people think about strengths, well-being, purpose, and the way we spend our days. We talk about the difference between purpose and passion, why strengths only matter when they are used in service of others, how to think about career fit, and why retirement may not be the goal we’ve been taught it is. We also explore the role of AI in the future of work, and how it might free us to spend more time on the creative, relational, and meaningful parts of our lives. This episode is for anyone who wants to keep striving, but in a way that feels more grounded, sustainable, and connected to what really matters. Top 5 Takeaways * Achievement feels different when it is connected to contribution * Purpose is not the same as passion * Strengths need direction * Well-being and performance are connected * AI may change how we work, but it can also create opportunity LINKS - Learn more about Tom [https://www.tomrath.org/] - Read Tom's new book Life's Great Question: Discover How You Contribute To The World [https://www.tomrath.org/book-lifes-great-question] - Finding Meaningful Work [https://sonyalooney.com/finding-meaningful-work-with-tamara-myles-and-wes-adams/] with Tamara Myles and Wes Adams - Meaning and Mattering [https://sonyalooney.com/eudaimonia-andrew-soren/] at Work with Andrew Soren -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.  [https://www.palmtreepodco.com/]

Mindfulness in Action: Practicing Mental Agility in Real Time

This Mindfulness in Action episode is a real-time practice in mental agility: the ability to notice what’s happening in your thoughts, emotions, and body, and make small adjustments that help you stay aligned with what matters. In the previous solo episode, I talked about mental agility from a more practical and educational lens: emotional agility, attentional agility, mindfulness, and the internal and external shifters that help us regulate and adapt. In this episode, we take those ideas out of the theoretical space and into real life. I recorded this while moving outside, because movement often helps me feel more embodied and aware of what’s happening in my inner world. I talk about resilience, adaptability, psychological flexibility, and the constant adjustments we make as athletes, parents, partners, professionals, and humans trying to do hard things. This episode includes a short mindfulness practice to help you notice where you might feel rigid mentally, emotionally, or behaviorally, and then gently practice shifting.  Here's what you'll learn: - Mental agility is resilience in motion - Hard things happen on many scales - Flexibility takes practice - Emotions need space - Small actions build capacity LINKS - Recently solo episode on mental agility [https://sonyalooney.com/mental-agility-how-to-work-with-your-emotions-attention-and-inner-chatter/] - MIA: What It Means to Get Better [https://sonyalooney.com/mindfulness-in-action-redefining-what-it-means-to-get-better/] - MIA: How to Build Human Connection [https://sonyalooney.com/mindfulness-in-action-burnout-drive-and-how-to-build-real-human-connection/] -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.  [https://www.palmtreepodco.com/]

Mental Agility: How to Work With Your Emotions, Attention, and Inner Chatter

What does it really mean to be mentally agile? In this solo episode, I’m talking about the emotional and attentional skills that help us notice what’s happening inside of us, create space, and choose our next move with more intention. Mental agility is the ability to shift, adapt, and stay connected to what matters, especially when things don’t go the way we planned. Today, I’lm talking about emotional agility, mindfulness, emotional granularity, and the internal and external “shifters” that can help us adjust in real time. I also walk you through two practical tools: my REAL framework for emotional agility and the 3R tool for attention: recognize, regroup, and refocus. This episode leads us to the next Mindfulness in Action practice, where we’ll take these ideas out of the theoretical space and into real life. Next week, we’ll practice mental agility on the move, using mindfulness as a way to notice shifting in real time. Top 5 Takeaways 1. Mental agility is different from resilience: Resilience often shows up after hard things happen, but mental agility is something we can practice every day. 2. Emotions are data, not directives: Your emotions can tell you what you care about, but they don’t have to decide how you behave. 3. Mindfulness creates space: When you can notice your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations without immediately reacting, you have more choice. 4. Attention is trainable: The 3R tool (recognize, regroup, refocus) can help you come back to the task, the moment, or the next right action. Small shifts matter: Sensation, attention, perspective, physical space, trusted people, and culture can all help us regulate and shift in real time. -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.  [https://www.palmtreepodco.com/]

Rethinking Goals, Striving, and Self-Worth with Jeff Warren and Tasha Schumann

What if so much of our suffering comes from trying to become who we think we’re supposed to be? In this episode, I sit down with meditation teachers Jeff Warren and Tasha Schumann for a wide-ranging, deeply practical conversation about mindfulness, creativity, neurodiversity, and how to let go of the societal “shoulds” that keep us disconnected from ourselves. This conversation felt especially personal to me because so much of it mirrors what I’ve been exploring in my own life as an athlete, a mom, a coach, and now as a writer. We talk about identity transitions, performance-based striving, how endurance sport became a doorway into self-inquiry for me, and why mindfulness has to move beyond the meditation cushion if it’s actually going to change your life. Jeff and Tasha bring warmth, honesty, and a refreshing lack of dogma to this conversation. We explore the tension between external pressure and internal truth, the role of creativity and joy in a meaningful life, and the practical skills of mindfulness: concentration, clarity, and equanimity. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the “right” things but still feel disconnected, if meditation apps feel shallow, or if you’re trying to find a more authentic way to strive, this conversation is for you. Top 5 Takeaways 1. A lot of suffering comes from “shoulds”: External expectations can disconnect us from our actual nature and values. 2. Mindfulness has to move into real life: It’s not just about sitting on a cushion, it’s about how you return to the present in parenting, work, conflict, and creativity. 3. Neurodiversity can be a doorway, not a deficit: Different ways of thinking can challenge conformity and open new paths to self-acceptance. 4. Meditation builds trainable skills: Jeff and Tasha emphasize three core capacities: concentration, clarity, and equanimity. 5. Thriving is not about becoming perfect: It’s about becoming more authentic, more connected, and more able to stay with your experience as it is. LINKS Solo about the problem with should [https://sonyalooney.com/decision-fatigue-perfectionism-and-the-problem-with-should/]Mindfulness in Action: Letting Go of Should [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindfulness-in-action-letting-go-of-should/id1233067098?i=1000763219427]Check out Jeff and Tasha’s podcast Mind Bod Pod [http://mindbodpod.com]Follow Tasha’s Substack Bodhi Savage [http://bodhisavage.com] -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.  [https://www.palmtreepodco.com/]

Mindfulness in Action: Letting Go of “Should”

In this Mindfulness in Action episode, I’m talking about one of the sneakiest forms of distorted thinking: shoulds. You know the ones: I should be doing more. I should have this figured out by now. I should be more disciplined, more patient, more productive. These thoughts can sound helpful on the surface, but often they leave us feeling ashamed, guilty, disconnected, and never quite enough. In this episode, I break down three common types of “shoulds”: *  the outward-facing shoulds tied to habits and expectations,  *  the shoulds that come from a lack of self-acceptance,  *  and the shoulds rooted in unrealistic standards for ourselves or other people.  I also share practical mindfulness tools you can use in real time to work with these thoughts instead of getting hooked by them. We explore practices like labeling, cognitive diffusion, acceptance, self-compassion, psychological distancing, and grounding in the present moment. This is not about getting rid of every self-critical thought forever. It’s about learning how to notice them, soften their grip, and come back to what’s actually here. If you’ve been feeling pressured by your own inner voice lately, this episode is a reminder that you are not alone. There are skillful, compassionate ways to meet yourself in those moments. Other meditations: - Slowing Down the Rush [https://sonyalooney.com/mindfulness-in-action-slowing-down-the-rush/] - How to Regulate Your Emotions for Resilience and Performance [https://sonyalooney.com/how-to-regulate-your-emotions-for-resilience-and-performance/] - How to Combat Self-Criticism [https://sonyalooney.com/mindfulness-in-action-how-to-combat-self-criticism/] -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.  [https://www.palmtreepodco.com/]