The Cock Pageant 2026 - Part 2 ( Video Edition)

A Crustacean Nightmare

Welcome back to another gloriously unhinged episode of the Say What! Podcast, where this week's title, A Crustacean Nightmare, refers not only to an underwater horror story… but, according to Big Pappa J, his own genitals. As always, we kick things off with Thoughts of the Week, tackling life's most pressing questions. Topics include stinging nettle butter, frozen milk, and the absolute worst (or best?) way to indecently "moleste" a female camel. Educational? Absolutely not. Memorable? Definitely. 🐪 Big Pappa J then returns to his favourite pastime — venting about married life with Lady P — before reminiscing about the time he almost ran himself over and sharing the unforgettable story of an Airbnb getaway that ended with pubes and chicken chow mein mysteriously left in the bedsheets. Five-star review pending. Next up is Things You Wish You Were Good At, where we celebrate life's overlooked talents, including yo-yoing, breakdancing, fire juggling, and the art of throwing a boomerang without embarrassing yourself. To round things off, we descend into the depths for an Underwater Nightclub, where Big Red the Lobster somehow ends up doing every job imaginable while the lads spectacularly fail to remember the chemical formula for water. As always, it's immature, completely unnecessary, and somehow gets worse with every passing minute. We hope you enjoy ❤️

A Crustacean Nightmare (Video Edition)

Welcome back to another gloriously unhinged episode of the Say What! Podcast, where this week's title, A Crustacean Nightmare, refers not only to an underwater horror story… but, according to Big Pappa J, his own genitals. As always, we kick things off with Thoughts of the Week, tackling life's most pressing questions. Topics include stinging nettle butter, frozen milk, and the absolute worst (or best?) way to indecently "moleste" a female camel. Educational? Absolutely not. Memorable? Definitely. 🐪 Big Pappa J then returns to his favourite pastime — venting about married life with Lady P — before reminiscing about the time he almost ran himself over and sharing the unforgettable story of an Airbnb getaway that ended with pubes and chicken chow mein mysteriously left in the bedsheets. Five-star review pending. Next up is Things You Wish You Were Good At, where we celebrate life's overlooked talents, including yo-yoing, breakdancing, fire juggling, and the art of throwing a boomerang without embarrassing yourself. To round things off, we descend into the depths for an Underwater Nightclub, where Big Red the Lobster somehow ends up doing every job imaginable while the lads spectacularly fail to remember the chemical formula for water. As always, it's immature, completely unnecessary, and somehow gets worse with every passing minute. We hope you enjoy ❤️

Alan's Polaroid ( Part 2 )

Welcome back to Part 2 of the Say What! Podcast with Big Pappa J, The Notorious FA-TT, Dirty Boy & Lady P. This half of the show dives headfirst into childhood nostalgia as we discuss the treasures (and questionable items) that once lived on our bedroom shelves. From forgotten collectibles to stories that should probably have stayed buried, things quickly descend into the usual chaos. We also tackle topics nobody asked for, including wank-stained bedsheets, dwarf wallpaper, and other fond memories from a simpler time. The legendary Big Nob / Small Nob round returns, where we discover who appears to be carrying around a mysterious third boxing glove, before Dirty Boy reveals his ultimate dream career — working as a call operator for an Australian bank. It's immature, it's ridiculous, and it somehow gets worse as it goes on. Enjoy ❤️

Alan's Polaroid ( Part 1 )

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Say What! Podcast, joined by returning legends Dirty Boy & Lady P. As always, Thoughts of the Week immediately sends the podcast spiralling into chaos, as we question whether expensive 3-ply toilet paper is really necessary when a bag of Salt & Vinegar Walkers could technically do the same job. We also tackle the important issues — can you actually sunburn your arsehole, and what would happen if Wes Craven decided to reboot a wholesome nature documentary? Next up is the Poster Round, featuring a bizarre collection that somehow includes Madonna, Where’s Wally, and a fish & chip shop sign that definitely isn’t a tasting menu. In Part 2, nostalgia kicks in as we discuss what lived on your childhood shelves, alongside topics nobody requested including wank-stained bedsheets and the deeply unsettling concept of dwarf wallpaper. Then comes the legendary Big Nob / Small Nob round, where we discover who’s apparently carrying around a third boxing glove, before wrapping things up with Dirty Boy revealing his ultimate dream career — becoming a call operator for an Australian bank. A true ambition for the ages. We hope you enjoy this completely unnecessary descent into madness ❤️

Heavy 'Flo'

Hello and welcome to another incredible episode of the Say What! Podcast! Over the years we’d like to think we’ve evolved — matured even. Our outlooks are broader, our minds more liberal… unfortunately the podcast itself is still complete nonsense. This week we proudly dedicate an entire round to the ladies, as we design the ultimate dream house: a Barbie-pink paradise featuring luxury hand cream allegedly donated by Tiger Woods, a Cookie Monster sanitary bin, endless rom-com box sets, and industrial levels of Febreze for one particular guest who tends to “kick up a bit.” It’s classy stuff. From there we move onto AI Job Interviews, where the lads dress like Nuns on the Run and attempt to land jobs as nurses. Unsurprisingly, things quickly take on a slightly Harold Shipman vibe and HR are immediately contacted. 🤷‍♂️ Of course, we also squeeze in Thoughts of the Week, alongside the now traditional segment where Big Pappa J somehow ends up slagging off his wife again 🙄 As always, it’s immature, unnecessary, and completely off the rails — exactly how you like it. ❤️