When Love Stops Saving the Relationship: Presence, Self-Abandonment, and Starting Over

Re-release: The Race Was Never Real | Notes on Slowing Down Without Falling Behind

What happens when you stop chasing and start listening? In this episode, John shares the personal shifts he's working through after moving to Costa Rica. From learning to surf at 52 to redefining success, he reflects on slowing down, letting go of old patterns, and finding joy in the small moments that make life feel more alive. In this episode: • Why he's learning to approach surfing as a practice instead of a performance • The role of detachment in reducing stress and calming the nervous system • Letting go of FOMO and the pressure to constantly achieve • Challenging the belief that rest must be earned • Redefining what "enough" means beyond money, milestones, and validation • Learning to notice everyday moments of joy, or what he calls “nectar" John also shares reflections on adjusting to life in Costa Rica, embracing a slower pace, and documenting what he calls his "second rebirth." If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who needs it, and join us for the next conversation. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Re-release: First 5 Dating No’s

Dating can feel exhausting, especially when every first date seems loaded with pressure, expectations, and endless swiping. In this episode, John shares five first-date reminders for navigating modern dating with more confidence, curiosity, and intention. He explores why dating often feels transactional today, how expectations can get in the way of connection, and what it looks like to approach dating without turning every encounter into a search for "the one." In this episode: • Why John believes dating has become low-effort and transactional • The importance of planning and showing intention on a first date • Why "less history, more mystery" can create better conversations • How expectations can sabotage connection • Why you're not looking for your soulmate on a first date • How to handle rejection, disappointment, and bad dates without taking them personally 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Therapy Thursdays: Are You Ready to Date Again?

Why is it so hard to let go of someone you know isn't right for you? How do you know when you've healed enough to date again? Can someone truly love you if you don't love themselves? And what do you do when trust is broken? In this listener Q&A, I answer questions about heartbreak, attachment, self-worth, trust, and what it actually takes to build healthy relationships. We explore why we can stay emotionally attached to an ex even when we know the relationship wasn't right, how toxic relationships can shape our dating patterns, and the difference between seeking connection and avoiding loneliness. I also share my thoughts on love languages, masculinity, rebuilding trust after betrayal, and one small step you can take today to begin changing your life. Whether you're trying to move on, wondering if you're ready to date again, or looking to build healthier relationships, I hope this conversation gives you something to reflect on. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

You Deserve Better: Why Letting Go Creates Space for More

In this personal episode, John shares a collection of journal entries and reflections on fear, identity, reinvention, love, writing, and what it means to fully live. From losing his home in the Los Angeles fire to building a new life in Costa Rica, he explores the fear of reaching the end of life without ever being fully known or fully becoming who you're meant to be. In this episode: • Why fear isn't always a warning and can sometimes be a compass • The danger of protecting a life you've already outgrown • What the Los Angeles fire taught John about identity and change • How love can evolve from a drug into medicine • Lessons from writing seven books and starting a publishing company • A surfing experience that changed the way he thinks about deserving success 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 [https://a.co/d/031PzkW4] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

The New Masculinity: Discipline, Intimacy, and Emotional Strength with Brenden Durell

In this episode, John Kim sits down with Brenden Durell to talk about masculinity, vulnerability, Tantra, intimacy, and emotional growth. Brenden shares his journey from sports into self-discovery and men’s work, exploring how discipline, trust, and presence can create deeper freedom and connection. They also discuss porn, edging, aftercare, therapeutic experiences with MDMA and San Pedro, and the responsibility men have in creating emotional safety in relationships. In this episode: • Redefining modern masculinity • Why vulnerability matters for men • Tantra, discipline, and personal freedom • Porn, edging, and sexual health • Trust, intimacy, and aftercare • Creating safety in relationships • Emotional intelligence and men’s work Connect with Brenden Durell Website: https://stan.store/brendendurell [https://stan.store/brendendurell] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brendendurell/ [https://www.instagram.com/brendendurell/] 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 [https://a.co/d/031PzkW4] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]