The Agonies of Children

Why we should show our hurt rather than argue

Our tendencies, when we’ve been slighted by our partner, is to wound them back immediately. We would have far calmer relationships and kinder ones too, if we could just reveal our hurt – rather than inflict it back. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/hKM9s Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/OFWr3 FURTHER READING “Arguments in relationships are typically so regrettable and often so bitter, it’s natural to hope we might – with greater maturity – overcome them once and for all. But given what human nature is like, it would be unwise to make this our goal: the hope can’t be to eliminate arguments altogether, it should be to try to find our way to a better kind of argument. Arguments tend to start when we are confronted – usually rather suddenly – by what appears to us to be the radical selfishness, intransigence or sheer nastiness of the partner…” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/XQ2C1b MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Khyan Mansley https://www.youtube.com/user/Khyan1 https://twitter.com/khyan #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

On Still Being a Virgin

Our era of sexual liberation encourages us to have sex; but at the same time, hugely stigmatises those who don’t have it, from choice or circumstances. It’s time to liberate the idea of lingering or ongoing virginity from the shame it’s currently surrounded by. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/fFVN4 Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/cXOf8 FURTHER READING “When the sexual revolution began in the 1960s, there was a standard understanding of what should happen: ‘sexual liberation’ would mean that people would be freed to have more of the sort of sex they really liked, that is, with more partners and with less embarrassment…” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/nKPNxe MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: James Carbutt https://vimeo.com/jamescarbutt #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How Romanticism Destroyed Love

The set of ideas we can call Romanticism is responsible for making our relationships extremely difficult. We shouldn’t give up on love; we should just recognise that it’s a skill, not an emotion. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/vO9tU Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/t-kKS MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS: http://bit.ly/TSOrelationships CREDITS Produced in collaboration with Zedem Media http://www.zedemanimations.com #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How to Attune to Your Feelings... and Why It Counts

How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us? Where might they go? And what might be driving their loss? Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/sWea7 Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/YD6YI The School of Life runs a global online psychotherapy service that assists clients from over 40 countries. To find out more and book a session today, please visit our website: https://t.ly/xP3EL FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3zoYsrz “The idea that we might - as the expression has it - ‘lose touch with our feelings’ is, when we reflect on it, a highly paradoxical one. How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us? Where might they go? And what might be driving their loss? It seems we’re built in such a way that an understanding of much of what our minds and bodies go through is in no way automatic; it is mediated via the acceptance and understanding of other people. We know well enough about some things: if, for example, there were to be a gaping wound in our leg, or we hadn’t drunk anything for three days, we would know the truth soon enough. But many of our sensations are like bells that have no solid wire back to consciousness; they ring at a peculiar frequency that isn’t picked up by our minds when these have been attuned incorrectly…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Alexandra Balan https://www.sashaanimates.com/about-1 Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

If Your Parents Weren't Listening to You Properly...

There are few more important tasks for parents than to be able to listen properly to their children. It’s on the basis of having been listened to with close sympathy and imagination that a child will later on be able to accept themselves. FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/39RwTwy “There are few more important tasks for parents than to be able to listen properly to their children, that is, pick up on and give room to, their children’s moods, hatreds and enthusiasms, even when these run contrary to their own inclinations. It’s on the basis of having been listened to with close sympathy and imagination that a child will later on be able to accept themselves, remain in touch with what they feel and find partners who are interested in their core selves…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Deanca Rensyta Mihardja https://www.behance.net/deancarensa5a9 Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]