104 - Sex, Safety, and the Aftermath

110 - Emotional Intimacy: More Than Sobriety

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: * My sexually addicted husband is 3 months into recovery. He said he’s never been fully honest with me. How much should he share? How can he learn to be vulnerable after 30 years of being a lone wolf? * My husband has been sober from pornography for 12 years. He is sober but not recovering. He connects to everyone else in his life, but emotionally and physically neglects me. How do we address respect and connection when relapse isn't the issue? * My husband and I have been on the recovery road for a long time and while our relationship is solid, we still personally sometimes struggle with emotional intimacy, like sharing our feelings with each other. Do you have suggestions or tools? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org [unfiltered@puredesire.org]. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos [https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos]   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma [https://puredesire.org/podcast-7-keys] Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn [https://puredesire.org/podcast-5-steps] Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation [https://puredesire.org/podcast-free-consultation] Join A Pure Desire Online Group [https://puredesire.org/podcast-online-group]   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/PureDesirePDMI] Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/puredesirepdmi] Follow us on X (Twitter) [https://twitter.com/puredesirepdmi] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

109 - Where to Start in My Recovery Journey

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: * I’m in a tough situation. I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group, navigating betrayal from my husband’s porn use, and have recognized serious shame surrounding my own struggle with masturbation. I feel hypocritical for being hurt while struggling myself, and I’m unsure how to prioritize my healing. Should I address my personal struggles before fully processing the betrayal trauma, or can both healing journeys happen together? * In my own struggle with addiction, I’ve noticed how often I fall into lies and manipulation, even when I don’t want to. Why does this pattern feel so automatic and deeply tied to my behavior? What is happening in me that makes honesty feel so difficult when I’m acting out? * As a woman who struggles with sexual brokenness, I've tried to find help within the church, but it often feels unsafe, minimizing, or even shame-inducing. I thought the church would be the safest place to heal, so why does it feel so hard to be honest there? How do I find support when the place I expected safety feels so complicated? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org [unfiltered@puredesire.org]. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos [https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos]   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma [https://puredesire.org/podcast-7-keys] Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn [https://puredesire.org/podcast-5-steps] Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation [https://puredesire.org/podcast-free-consultation] Join A Pure Desire Online Group [https://puredesire.org/podcast-online-group]   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/PureDesirePDMI] Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/puredesirepdmi] Follow us on X (Twitter) [https://twitter.com/puredesirepdmi] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

108 - The Hidden Aspects of Sexual Addiction

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: * After discovering my husband’s long-hidden porn addiction and affair, my adult children and I are struggling to reconcile his deep involvement in faith and ministry with the secret double life he lived for decades. I don’t know how to explain the disconnect between genuine devotion and destructive behavior. Was his faith real, or was it all a mask? * After years of recovery work, I’m concerned my husband’s addiction may have shifted from pornography to an unhealthy fixation on sex and physical access to me. His constant touching and spiritual justifications leave me feeling objectified instead of safe or loved. How do I set healthy boundaries around intimacy without damaging connection or recovery progress? * After 27 years of marriage and years of counseling and recovery work, my husband recently admitted he follows his own definition of sobriety, leaving me feeling deceived and deeply used. As we prepare for full disclosure and a polygraph, I feel emotionally exhausted and ready to leave, yet conflicted by my faith and church beliefs. Am I wrong for wanting divorce after so many broken promises and shifting truths? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org [unfiltered@puredesire.org]. We can’t wait to hear from you! RESOURCES: Adult Children of Sex Addicts [https://www.adultchildrenofsexaddicts.com] Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos [https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos]   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma [https://puredesire.org/podcast-7-keys] Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn [https://puredesire.org/podcast-5-steps] Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation [https://puredesire.org/podcast-free-consultation] Join A Pure Desire Online Group [https://puredesire.org/podcast-online-group]   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/PureDesirePDMI] Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/puredesirepdmi] Follow us on X (Twitter) [https://twitter.com/puredesirepdmi] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

107 - Betrayal, Heartbreak, and Addiction Patterns

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: * After five years of betrayal and partial recovery efforts, I’m seeing new honesty and engagement from my husband, but repeated slip-ups leave me unsure what’s truly changing. I’m caring for myself well, yet struggling to discern whether this reflects early sobriety with setbacks or simply a different addiction pattern. How do I know the difference? * Three and a half years into recovery, another disclosure of relapses has left me devastated and questioning whether I’ll ever feel deep love for my husband again. Even before this, my feelings already felt distant and dulled compared to before the betrayal. Can love truly return after repeated heartbreak, or does it change permanently? * A year into recovery after my husband confessed long-term struggles with pornography and lust, I can see real transformation in him, yet I still feel deeply wounded by the reality that lust may always be something he battles. Even his honesty and progress don’t remove the pain this creates in me. How do I live with the ongoing reality of that struggle without feeling devastated by it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org [unfiltered@puredesire.org]. We can’t wait to hear from you! RESOURCES: Lapse Vs Relapse [https://youtu.be/I9KzCt3shH4?si=hB91Fy_BbLuqWHDJ]   Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos [https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos]   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma [https://puredesire.org/podcast-7-keys] Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn [https://puredesire.org/podcast-5-steps] Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation [https://puredesire.org/podcast-free-consultation] Join A Pure Desire Online Group [https://puredesire.org/podcast-online-group]   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/PureDesirePDMI] Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/puredesirepdmi] Follow us on X (Twitter) [https://twitter.com/puredesirepdmi] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

106 - Understanding My Sexual Struggles

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: * After 16 years of recovery from sex addiction, I’m realizing how deeply my relationship with my mother still shapes my emotional triggers around criticism, guilt, and performance. While our relationship has improved and I truly believe I’ve forgiven her, I still find myself reacting, trying to change or educate her, and questioning whether lingering pain means forgiveness is incomplete. Can healing from a mother’s wounds continue even after genuine forgiveness has taken place? * I struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors and confusion around same-sex attraction. I often feel shame and uncertainty about what my experiences mean, especially when I’m trying to live with integrity. How do I understand my patterns, reduce compulsive behavior, and begin healing without self-condemnation? * After my divorce, I’ve found myself sexually acting out in ways that leave me feeling empty and ashamed. I want to understand why this is happening and how to stop repeating it. How do I begin real healing and rebuild self-control after divorce-related pain and loneliness? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org [unfiltered@puredesire.org]. We can’t wait to hear from you! RESOURCES: Mother Hunger [https://www.amazon.com/Mother-Hunger-Understand-Nurturance-Protection/dp/1401960855/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.nqSJswKGFHoYdp1bKFOJ4MxjkJY0WEngVPFqRLLpmRxU9L09goVVTKKgH7WDDwFGU_Qdv907ce05HbdmEnOMBVQVrbwR_jfpciaGzZ1Pa2QTxy79jRR5oq6bHYp58iTKaOJgD1pAfzJoj-jBjr8Rd1LtBIk-YjVnsTu6lsV3y8VwcT8Lfn5_IZt03xw1HDj9dEx9Tfmd5ukC1yFkbRxAEDCA92BL0Pij6PwZ7qqL-ZU.NzKV4TbGTt-qpfPe_I-sOBE5uv8wPu9O0T4F_zcgr1w&dib_tag=se&hvadid=792726375077&hvdev=c&hvexpln=67&hvlocphy=9032830&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=13446217141384948996--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=13446217141384948996&hvtargid=kwd-1152018852624&hydadcr=13688_13765161&keywords=mother+hunger+kelly+mcdaniel&mcid=477a774ebd1c3ff88f08a8c13dab177c&qid=1781889016&sr=8-1] Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos [https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos]   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma [https://puredesire.org/podcast-7-keys] Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn [https://puredesire.org/podcast-5-steps] Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation [https://puredesire.org/podcast-free-consultation] Join A Pure Desire Online Group [https://puredesire.org/podcast-online-group]   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/PureDesirePDMI] Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/puredesirepdmi] Follow us on X (Twitter) [https://twitter.com/puredesirepdmi] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.