What It's Like To Be You

What It's Like To Be You

Podkast av Josh Lavine

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Intimate, high resolution interviews with all Enneagram types and inner work practitioners. Produced by The Enneagram School & hosted by Josh Lavine. Watch on YouTube @TheEnneagramSchool.

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62 Episoder
episode #63: Omar (SO/SP 6w7 693) – Being the “Hell Side of Attachment”, Punk Scene Irony, Finding Truth in the Split, and Crawling Back to Life artwork
#63: Omar (SO/SP 6w7 693) – Being the “Hell Side of Attachment”, Punk Scene Irony, Finding Truth in the Split, and Crawling Back to Life

Omar Sullivan (SO/SP 6w7 693) is an absolutely hilarious and insightful person, sharing how being a Type 6 and growing up with a loyalty to “doing the right thing” collided with an internal drive to poke holes in systems, ideologies, and even his own beliefs. We trace how a Type 6 mind pings between self-doubt and defiant clarity, often using humor as both camouflage and truth-teller—a sort of “jester’s privilege” that lets him say what others won’t. We talk about the contradictions within punk culture, the irony of the sustainability industry, and the emotional truths that surface when a 6 splits inward instead of seeking answers outside. We also touch on the mental gymnastics of manufacturing certainty, ego fixation in relationships, and how being “the man behind the memes” reveals the necessity of division before integration.This is a loaded conversation exploring the energy of 6, the comedy of self-awareness, and how creative life often begins at the fracture point. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 02:52 - Improv in college and creating a lasting impact, anti-elitism and 6 leadership, super-ego and doing the 'right thing' 14:39 - Making self laugh, ping-ponging, the humor of 6w7, "the jester's privilege", irony and playing offense to play defense, 3w2 vs 3w4 exploration 28:15 - Pointing out the contradictions and irony of the punk scene, so/sp call-outs within the culture, questioning authenticity 37:34 - Holding contradictions within self, community orientation of 6, finding resonances within 'scenes', frustration turns to the eternal seeker, taking things to the extreme to understand it 45:02 - Creative tension: the duality of 6s, inner split exposing emotional truths in creativity, getting into Omar's novel and the so/sp 6 arch 58:07 - Humor as a survival mechanism, intellectual and detached comparative to 'fighter', relationship to confidence and the 'dark truth' 01:06:01 - Manufacturing a sense of certainty through the mental center, better understanding reality, feeling social stability versus rejection 01:16:08 - Not pinning self to external explanation: bermuda's tuning inward, so/sp not contextualizing actions in the collective sense, being affected causing alienation 01:21:57 - Reinventing self, 'letting loose', being creatively fueled through adventures, the mental imagery of crawling back to life 01:31:19 - Navigating relationships and ego fixations, "the truth won't save you", 6 being the hell side of attachment type; roasting 6s 01:42:34 - 6's splitting showing ugly necessity of division prior to integration, “the man behind the memes” 01:47:57 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6

26. aug. 2025 - 1 h 50 min
episode #62: Celia Murnock (SP/SO 6w5 613) - Wearing a Seatbelt Through Life, Making Things More Good (Not Just Less Bad), and Certainty as a Moving Target artwork
#62: Celia Murnock (SP/SO 6w5 613) - Wearing a Seatbelt Through Life, Making Things More Good (Not Just Less Bad), and Certainty as a Moving Target

Celia Murnock (SP/SO 6w5 613) is a Type 6 whose intellectual clarity and emotional precision root our conversation in complexity: her passion for biomedical anthropology becomes a metaphor for her life’s work — finding and teasing out gray areas in a world that demands black-and-white answers. We trace the architecture of Six through her eyes: the struggle to trust her own mind, the looping vigilance against being naïve, and the quiet grief of feeling like the adult in the room since childhood. The conversation moves fluidly between micro and macro, from early recognitions of injustice to the moral orientation that propels her forward — often at great personal cost. We explore the distinctions between 6w5 and 6w7: the cagey inner withdrawal, the instinct to "snip the threads" before attachment hurts too much, and the quiet resistance to being shaped by others’ expectations. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 02:42 - Interests and pathways in education and career. Biomedical anthropology: finding and teasing out the gray areas, solving intricate/systemic problems 12:28 - Not trusting the human mind; the finite and subjective experience, 6s horrified awareness, understanding and orienting to reality and certainty 21:27 - 6w5 versus 6w7, 5 wanting to 'snip the threads', sensitivities to attachment 'mismatches' 26:05 - Childhood recognitions of morality, 6s realism and 'calling out the thing', an inherent obligation to not be short-sighted by clarity and subjectivity, self-justification to 'making a stink' 39:09 - Structural rigidity, macro vs micro and personal philosophies of life, stepping away from the microscope, injustices of the world 47:33 - "Too many arteries bleeding"; super-ego of 6, being a porcupine or a bottle of soda that's been shaken, inner pressure, wearing a seatbelt in life 56:51 - Struggling to find serenity, current life situation and tracking decisions through type structure, identity wrapped up into being the certainty 01:11:35 - Making things more good instead of less bad, 'soul purpose'; depth over breadth 01:22:20 - 6w5 cagey nature, "I'm not trying to not touch you, I'm trying to keep you from touching me", private internal withdrawal, not signing the contract, expectations vs responses 01:30:48 - Making a mess, cleaning up after ourselves, 6-1 stem reflections, resignation with attachments 01:37:10 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6

19. aug. 2025 - 1 h 39 min
episode #61: Elisa (SP/SX 3w2 378) - Erotic Atmospheres, Mastering the Social Game, and Building a Business from the Bones of Hyper-Independence artwork
#61: Elisa (SP/SX 3w2 378) - Erotic Atmospheres, Mastering the Social Game, and Building a Business from the Bones of Hyper-Independence

Elisa (SP/SX 3w2 378) joins us for a rich and layered conversation that weaves together identity, performance, and the relentless pursuit of autonomy. A pole and circus studio founder with a deep instinct for self-reinvention, Elisa moves through life like a well-rehearsed act — equal parts precision and provocation. We talk about what it means to build a life around something still stigmatized by the mainstream, the tension between personal truth and social acceptability, and how visibility can be both a risk and a reclamation. Throughout, Elisa reflects on the roots of her drive — a childhood that demanded self-reliance, an early mistrust of authority, and a bone-deep resistance to being boxed in. We explore the challenges of delegation when control has always been survival, and the vulnerability required to teach, lead, and create in front of others. There’s a powerful thread here about embodiment as empowerment: how performance can become a site of healing, defiance, and radical honesty. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 03:30 - Social blind 3 running a circus & pole studio, 'expansion' definition as triple assertive, 3's pride of business 09:19 - Perception as a social blind 3, trust and autonomy in business, being an 'idea machine' 16:34 - Sp/sx importance of atmosphere, eroticism within career 26:19 - Approval of parents as a type 3, being consumed with a fire to fulfill 'who I am', struggling during COVID and taking things personally 35:59 - Core 3 'keeps a lid' on energetic 7 and 8 fixes, 3 believing "I can do anything", learning the 'social game' in business 42:31 - Being curious in the social instinct, tracking others' gaze/values, 3w2 anticipating others' needs but not clocking social nuances 50:29 - Instructor experience, impersonal impact on others, relating to control in relationships 61:15 - Separation/boundaries in professional relationships, seeking or deflecting validation, vulnerability in the sexual instinct and performance 01:13:18 - Being a competence type, honing your craft, having an interest vs running a business, obsession with self-improvement 01:24:26 - Childhood reflections; energetic and unfiltered, not participating in early school institutions 01:34:59 - Self-worth vs social accolades, the role of teachers, seeking essential value through productivity 01:43:07 - Not identifying with victimhood, difficulties accepting help/delegation, being an emotional support child, hyper-independence 01:52:54 - Putting whole self into work, delivering excellence, 3w2 empathy can override necessary negative interactions 02:00:05 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3

12. aug. 2025 - 2 h 2 min
episode #60: Alex (SO/SP 6w7 693): Changing Inherited Reality Perspectives, Having “Mental Real Estate”, and the Exhaustion of Being One’s Own Vetting System artwork
#60: Alex (SO/SP 6w7 693): Changing Inherited Reality Perspectives, Having “Mental Real Estate”, and the Exhaustion of Being One’s Own Vetting System

Alex (SO/SP 6w7 693) joins us for a deep dive into the often-misunderstood inner terrain of the Social Six — where loyalty is a vigilant scan for danger, and the mind’s ceaseless activity is less about worry than about building a livable world. From the outset, Alex speaks to the dissonance of being typed as a Six, resisting the caricatures and one-dimensional projections that cling to the type.  We explore the deep patterns of fear and mental over-responsibility that began in childhood: a sense of being a small, visible target in a world ruled by unseen authority. Alex opens up about health anxiety, asexuality, and the complexity of labels — both how they can offer coherence and how they can confine.  Alex also brings in the character of Zuko from our shared favorite show Avatar: The Last Airbender as a mirror of his own journey — from rigid loyalty to false authority, through crisis, to a reclamation of inner truth. Together, we explore how Six navigates the labyrinth of mental gates that must be opened before love can be received, and how trust — in the self, in others, in life — is painstakingly built, tested, and sometimes, finally, allowed. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ [https://theenneagramschool.com/] Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course [https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course] Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ [https://www.enneagrammer.com/] Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994] House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram [https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram]  TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 02:31 - Participating in Enneagram communities, creating memes while waiting for typing results, reacting to being type 6, unpacking the projections onto 6, "finding a mental home" 12:27 - Being a 'cog in the machine', erasing individualization, a "thought-terminating cliche", having mental tweezers  17:10 - Childhood memories, fearing authority larger than parents, fear/anxiety of being a "sitting duck" to external powers 23:36 - "Going haywire", the vetting mechanism of 6, fearing and joking about death 29:01 - Ketamine treatment, expanding perspectives assisting with anxiety, limited "mental real estate", social narratives and afterthoughts, an unreliable narrator 38:09 - 6s not taking responsibility for personal perspectives, pinging off of others, judgment off of 'needing others', self-honoring and life-giving, self-sufficiency narratives 46:03 - 6s archetypal connection to labels, being asexual, attention to collective ideals/gaze 52:30 - self-deprecation being limiting, therapy, social rejection, deconstructing 'what I deserve to have/want", identifying the super-ego 59:11 - not making progress, fear of social vulnerability, 6's inner splitting, exploring the underdog position 01:06:59 - Avatar the Last Airbender; relating to the Zuko character arch, shedding the false authorities, enacting personal will, changing inherited reality perspectives 01:16:22 - 'vetting' self-love, matrix of mental gates, a core need to have 'right' orientation, observing the other center's participation 01:23:54 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine  Edited by Kristen Oberly  Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay  Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/  Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/  ---  #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6

05. aug. 2025 - 1 h 26 min
episode #59: Aurel (SO/SP 6w7 693) – Understanding/Expressing Identity, Reliable Orientation with Memory Loss, and Sounding the Alarm artwork
#59: Aurel (SO/SP 6w7 693) – Understanding/Expressing Identity, Reliable Orientation with Memory Loss, and Sounding the Alarm

Aurel (SO/SP 6w7 693) experienced a major stroke in early adulthood—an event that unraveled his sense of self and fractured his memory. What happens when your personal history goes missing? In this conversation, Aurel reflects on the slow, painful reconstruction of identity and how trauma rewrites not just the past, but the present narrative. We talk about radical empathy, activism, and the emotional labor of confronting systemic injustice while piecing together who you are. This is a deep dive into Type 6 themes—humility, doubt, the search for expertise, and the existential anxiety that rides alongside all of it. Aurel also shares how role-playing games became a surprising avenue for self-exploration, offering both escape and insight. Gender, memory, social responsibility, and the long arc of healing—it’s all here, held together by a steady curiosity about what it means to tell the truth, especially when the truth feels scattered. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 05:45 - Grounding to a sense of reliable orientation as a core mental type carrying significant memory loss 09:37 - Mosaic of identity: pieces of Aurel's life, "firming up" to actually get better attachments 14:56 - Being 'proactively solid', having a passionate moral compass, feeling guilt backlash 19:36 Anti-fascism, practicing good discernment, community care-taking 21:01 "Can we put a time stamp on this so people who aren't white don't have to hear about how I learned to care about racism if they don't want to?" 23:44 - Social core 6 'sounding the alarm' to this reality, searching for and spreading truth through the 'best information' 31:55 - A fascination with information, 6 wing 7 'play mode', anti-arrogance of 6, "I don't want to be responsible for your orientation" 35:17 - Navigating influence and value, proselytizing mode, anti-elitism and self-erasure of the 6-9 stem 46:17 - Role-playing games as an artistic form to navigate different aspects of self and identity 53:07 - Intersection of memory loss and identity, "none of us hold all of ourselves", not being certain of self-perceptions 01:02:14 - Gender Identity, re-inventing yourself, the complexities of social labels, 6s ability to see the categories held by the collective mind 01:11:44 - Gender expression through the sexual instinct, sexual blind 6 afraid of 'being caught', sexual versus social attunement, finding 'flavor' through the arts but having 3 last 01:26:43 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6

29. juli 2025 - 1 h 29 min
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