Stop Saying Yes: A High Achiever's Guide to Healthy Boundaries and Preventing Burnout

Stop Saying Yes: A High Achiever's Guide to Healthy Boundaries and Preventing Burnout

If you're a high achiever who is always on, always anticipating what's next, and always saying yes — this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Dr. Sohee Jun gets real about burnout, people pleasing, and the one thing most high achievers forget to factor in: the mental and emotional energy cost of everything they say yes to. She reframes what boundaries actually are — not rigid rules that leave you feeling guilty when you break them, but a flexible scaffolding for making decisions that honor your priorities and protect your energy. This one is practical, personal, and packed with tools you can start using today. What You'll Learn in This Episode ● Why the popular conversation around "having boundaries" can actually be damaging — and what to reframe it to ● How Dr. Sohee's own burnout taught her what she was missing every time she said yes ● Why mental and psychological load — not the doing of things — is the #1 depletion factor for high achievers today ● Dr. Sohee's definition of healthy boundaries: the scaffolding for making decisions that is flexible, realistic, and shame-free ● The 3-step framework for evaluating any new request before you commit ● Why establishing healthy boundaries means retraining the people around you — and how to hold yourself through their reactions ● How to use Dr. Sohee's Self-Care Assessment Tool to identify exactly where you're most depleted Quotes From This Episode "Healthy boundaries is about having the scaffolding to make decisions. It's not completely rigid — it's flexible and realistic to maintain, and it doesn't leave you doing the walk of shame if you didn't uphold it." "For high achievers, mental and emotional energy is the cost. It's less about the doing of things — it's the load. And it's the key aspect that high achievers do not factor in." "When you establish healthy boundaries, you are retraining people on how to interact with you." "Don't pick up their reaction. Hold yourself through it — and know that what you're doing is building a muscle." "This is the inner work that needs to happen for outer success." Dr. Sohee's 3-Step Boundary Framework When a new request comes in, pause and use this framework before responding: Step 1 — Buy yourself time. Say "Let me get back to you" or "Let me think about it." This short-circuits the automatic yes and gives you permission to pause. Step 2 — Review against your current load. Look at your workload, family commitments, caregiving responsibilities, and any other outside commitments. If your plate is already full — that's a full stop no. Step 3 — Ask: is this an aligned priority? If yes, commit — but ask yourself what you need to drop to make room. If no, go back and say: "At this time I'm overcommitted. Thank you for asking." Free Resource Mentioned in This Episode 📥 Dr. Sohee's Self-Care Assessment Tool — one of her most downloaded resources. It helps you identify the six areas where you're most depleted and offers specific ways to restore each one. Download it here Reflection Questions for You 1. What are the real reasons you keep saying yes — FOMO, scarcity mindset, people pleasing, genuine interest? Name them. 2. When you said yes to something recently and regretted it, what did you forget to factor in? 3. Where in your life are you most mentally and emotionally depleted right now? 4. Who in your life might "throw an adult tantrum" when you start establishing healthy boundaries — and are you prepared for that? 5. What is one thing you can take off your calendar this week to restore yourself? About Dr. Sohee Jun Dr. Sohee Jun is the founder of "asian, like me..." — a podcast and community for the modern Asian woman redefining what it means to thrive. A Korean immigrant, executive coach, author, and entrepreneur, Sohee has spent over 20 years helping high-achieving women navigate culture, career, and identity. She is also the founder of EVRten, a wellness brand for women who are ever curious and growth focused. Resources & Links ● Download Dr. Sohee's Self-Care Assessment Tool: https://bit.ly/drsohee_selfcare ● Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore 1:1 coaching: www.soheejunphd.com/coaching ● Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore speaking at your company or event: https://soheejunphd.com/contact ● Explore Dr. Sohee's bestselling books: https://soheejunphd.com/books ● Explore Dr. Sohee's wellness products: www.evrten.com ● SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and don't miss a drop: https://soheejunphd.com/insights Enjoyed This Episode? ● Share it with the high achiever in your life who can't stop saying yes ● Leave a review — it helps the community grow ● Subscribe to Dr. Sohee Jun's newsletter at www.soheejunphd.com ● Follow "asian, like me..." on your favorite podcast platform This is your space to feel seen, heard, and inspired. Let's grow together. Keywords & Tags healthy boundaries, burnout prevention, high achievers, saying no, mental load, emotional load, people pleasing, asian like me podcast, Dr. Sohee Jun, boundary framework, self-care, inner work outer success, modern Asian woman, overachieving women, psychological load, sensory overload, scarcity mindset, FOMO, aligned priorities, executive coaching, women's leadership,

The Answers we seek lie behind the questions we avoid” - with Bonnie Wan, author of The Life Brief

Episode Description What if the problem you've been trying to solve isn't the real problem at all? In this rich and deeply personal conversation, Dr. Sohee Jun sits down with Bonnie Wan — life strategist, brand strategist of 30 years, and author of The Life Brief: A Playbook for No Regrets Living. Bonnie is someone Dr. Sohee chased down after seeing her speak at a conference, and once you hear this conversation, you'll understand exactly why. This episode is for the woman who has been looping a story in her mind that isn't actually true. For the one who is exhausted from people pleasing, overachieving, and trying to be everything to everyone. For the one who is ready — finally ready — to meet her life with curiosity instead of fear. What You'll Learn in This Episode * What a "life brief" is and how Bonnie used her own brand strategy tools to transform her marriage — and her life * Why the answers we seek lie behind the questions we avoid * How radical honesty with yourself can shift everything — instantly * What it really means to be "self-centered" (and why it's not selfish) * The immigrant experience of otherness, shame, and the deep hunger to be seen and belong * Why doing the inner work in community creates something entirely different than doing it alone * How to become your own compass by living in your truth * What it looks like to be deeply ambitious and still take your time Quotes From This Episode "The answers we seek lie behind the questions we avoid." "Many people prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty." — Anaïs Nin, shared by Bonnie "It wasn't my marriage that was broken. It was my relationship with time." "It's not selfish — it's self-centered. Meaning you are literally centered in your truth." "When you start living by your truth, you become your own compass." "The immigrant experience starts from day one. We would not have felt so viscerally that hunger, that deep human longing, if we had not been othered." "Done in community, the work is like fireworks." When you are dead-simple-clear about what matters most - what is essential and what is vital - then you can radically prioritize. Only do what only you can do. Reflection Questions for You 1. What is the story you have been looping in your mind — and is it actually true? 2. What question have you been avoiding — and what answer might be hiding behind it? 3. Where in your life are you confusing the symptom with the real problem? 4. What would it look like to meet your life with curiosity instead of fear? 5. What do you actually want — when you strip away what your parents, your partner, and your culture expect of you? 6. Where are you craving depth, and are you giving yourself permission to swim in those waters? About Bonnie Wan Bonnie is creator and author of The Life Brief, a simple yet profound action-driving practice that helps people navigate life’s big decisions with clarity, creativity and courage. The Life Brief applies the art and science of brand strategy to how we live our lives. As a 30-year career Brand Strategist turned Life & Leadership Strategist, Bonnie not only helps some of the world’s most iconic companies innovate from a place of purpose but also guides everyday people on living with greater intention and imagination. She has been named AdAge Chief Strategy Officer of the Year, one of 100 Women to KNOW in America, and an Eames Institute’s Curious 100. Learn more about Bonnie and The Life Brief: thelifebrief.com [thelifebrief.com ]www.linkedin.com/in/bonniewan [www.linkedin.com/in/bonniewan] @bonniewanofficial About Dr. Sohee Jun Dr. Sohee Jun is the founder of "asian, like me…" — a podcast and community for the modern Asian woman redefining what it means to thrive. A Korean immigrant, executive coach, author, and entrepreneur, Sohee has spent over 20 years helping high-achieving women navigate culture, career, and identity. She is also the founder of EVRten, a wellness brand for women who are ever curious and growth focused. Resources & Links * Learn more about Bonnie Wan and The Life Brief: thelifebrief.com * Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore 1:1 coaching: www.soheejunphd.com [www.soheejunphd.com ] * Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore speaking at your company or event: https://soheejunphd.com/contact [https://soheejunphd.com/contact] * Explore Dr. Sohee's bestselling books: https://soheejunphd.com/books [https://soheejunphd.com/books] * Explore Dr. Sohee's wellness products: www.evrten.com [www.evrten.com] * SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and don't miss a drop: https://soheejunphd.com/insights [https://soheejunphd.com/insights] Enjoyed This Episode? * Share it with a woman in your life who is ready to stop looping old stories and start asking better questions * Leave a review — it helps the community grow * Subscribe to Dr. Sohee Jun's newsletter at www.soheejunphd.com [www.soheejunphd.com] * Follow "asian, like me…" on your favorite podcast platform This is your space to feel seen, heard, and inspired. Let's grow together. Keywords & Tags Bonnie Wan, The Life Brief, no regrets living, life strategy, brand strategy, asian like me podcast, Dr. Sohee Jun, Asian women podcast, immigrant women, coming home to yourself, deep relationships, radical honesty, curiosity over fear, relationship with time, people pleasing, overachieving women, inner work outer success, Asian female leadership, community and belonging, modern Asian woman, self-trust, identity and culture, personal transformation

The Bridge Generation: The Weight We Carried and the Legacy We're Building

Episode Description What does it cost to be the child of immigrants — and what does it give you? In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Sohee Jun shares a story she has never told quite like this before. It begins with a little girl emptying trash cans in corporate office buildings at night, rehearsing what she would say if anyone from school ever saw her. It ends with her daughter watching her command a stage full of high school girls — and saying the words that changed everything. This one is for the immigrant kids who are all grown up. For the parents trying to do it differently. For the Asian women who made it into rooms their parents could only clean. What You'll Learn in This Episode * What it felt like to hide her parents' work as a child — and the story she told instead * How internalized shame shows up in our ambition, our overachieving, and our need to prove ourselves * What Dr. Sohee calls "ambition in a really nice outfit" — and how to recognize it in yourself * The full circle moment that cracked her wide open on stage, with her daughter watching from the front row * What it means to be the bridge generation — carrying the weight of what came before while choosing what gets passed on * What healing looks like across generations — and why it doesn't always look the way we expect Quotes From This Episode "Some of what we call ambition is actually shame in a really nice outfit. " "The shame was never about my parents. It was about a story I had absorbed that said some kinds of work were worthy of being seen — and others needed to be hidden." "My parents didn't come to this country working their asses off so I could be ashamed of them. They came so I could stand on the stages they would never get invited to." "We are the ones who get to decide what gets passed on — and what stops with us." "That is what healing looks like across generations. Sometimes it looks like your kid saying the words you couldn't say to the person you became because of the people you used to hide." Reflection Questions for You 1. What did your parents do for work that you didn't want your friends to know about — and what story did you tell instead? 2. What's a specific image of your parents working that has stayed with you, and what does it bring up for you now as an adult? 3. Where in your professional life are you still "cleaning offices" — over-performing, over-delivering, or making yourself smaller but more useful, because some part of you believes that's the price of being allowed to stay in the room? 4. What does it mean to thank your parents not for what they gave you, but for what they survived? 5. What do you want the next generation to inherit from you that your parents couldn't give you — and what do you want them to inherit from your parents that almost got lost in translation? About Dr. Sohee Jun Dr. Sohee Jun is the founder of "asian, like me…"— a podcast and community for the modern Asian woman redefining what it means to thrive. A Korean immigrant, executive coach, author, and entrepreneur, Sohee has spent years helping Asian women navigate culture, career, and identity. She is also the founder of EVRten, a wellness brand for women who are ever curious and growth focused. Resources & Links * Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore 1:1 coaching: www.soheejunphd.com * Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore speaking at your company or event: * https://soheejunphd.com/contact * Explore Dr. Sohee's bestselling books: https://soheejunphd.com/books * Explore Dr. Sohee's wellness products: www.evrten.com * SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and don't miss a drop: https://soheejunphd.com/insights Enjoyed This Episode? * Share it with an Asian woman in your life who needs to hear this — or send it to your mom, if you're brave enough * Leave a review — it helps the community grow * Subscribe to Dr. Sohee Jun's newsletter at www.soheejunphd.com * Follow "asian, like me…" on your favorite podcast platform * This is your space to feel seen, heard, and inspired. Let's grow together. Keywords & Tags Asian women podcast, immigrant daughter, bridge generation, Asian female leadership, cultural shame and healing, immigrant kids grown up, generational healing, Asian American identity, Dr. Sohee Jun, asian like me podcast, children of immigrants, overachieving Asian women, imposter syndrome, inner work outer success, modern Asian woman, legacy and family, immigrant parents, generational trauma, shame and ambition, full circle moment

Raised to Be Silent, Built to Lead — with Selena Yuan

What happens when you were raised to stay quiet — and then find yourself in a boardroom that demands you speak up? In this powerful follow-up conversation, Dr. Sohee Jun sits down again with Selena Yuan — one of the most downloaded guests in Asian, Like Me history — for a live Q&A that gets raw, real, and deeply practical. Selena is a senior corporate executive and Chinese immigrant who has spent years unlearning the cultural conditioning that told her to defer, stay silent, and never challenge authority. In this episode, she shares the exact mindset shifts, communication strategies, and leadership frameworks that helped her go from invisible to unmissable — without losing herself in the process. If you have ever held back in a meeting, swallowed feedback you should have given, or wondered how to shape the way others see you at work — this episode is for you. What You'll Learn in This Episode: * How to advocate for yourself in corporate spaces as an Asian woman * Why cultural conditioning around silence and deference shows up at work — and how to rewire it * Practical tools for communicating clearly, confidently, and being taken seriously * How to shape your professional brand and control the narrative others have of you * The role of emotional intelligence in navigating change, conflict, and difficult conversations * Why strategic thinking is a skill you can practice — and how to signal it in the room * The power of doing it afraid, and why courage isn't the absence of fear Episode Highlights & Timestamps [00:00] — Welcome & why Selena Yuan is back: the most-downloaded guest of 2025 [02:55] — How Selena defines hope — and why humanity's core values matter more than ever [06:00] — Cultural tensions at work: deference, hierarchy, and the pressure to never push back [08:50] — Conflict avoidance as a cultural inheritance — and what it costs us [12:20] — Real-life example: teaching kids (and ourselves) to walk toward hard conversations [15:28] — How to give feedback in corporate environments when you've been taught to stay quiet [22:00] — Shaping perceptions: what people say about you when you're not in the room [28:00] — How to ask smart questions that signal leadership and strategic thinking[34:25] — The language of strategy: how to infuse the right words to build your brand [36:57] — Emotional intelligence unpacked: self-awareness, situational reading, and change [43:59] — Selena's personal evolution with change — and why she now leads it [50:26] — Learning to swim at 48: what fear, one small step, and doing it afraid taught her [57:28] — What it means to be a modern Asian woman in 2026 Quotes From This Episode "It's not about not being afraid. It's about being afraid — and trying anyway." "We were taught obedience is a virtue. Unlearning that takes awareness, then practice, then time." "Every moment is a chance to shape how you want to be seen." "We have to do the inner work for outer success." Reflection Questions for You * What cultural tensions are holding you back at work — and in life? * What mindset shift are you ready to make to navigate difficult challenges more skillfully? * What inner work do you need to do for the outer success you want? * What is your relationship to change — and is it working for you? About Selena Yuan Selena Yuan is a senior corporate executive, Chinese immigrant, and sought-after voice on leadership, communication, and organizational change. Her authenticity, real-world examples, and no-nonsense wisdom made her the most-downloaded guest on Asian, Like Me in 2025. This is her second conversation with Dr. Sohee Jun — and it goes even deeper. About Dr. Sohee Jun Dr. Sohee Jun is the founder of “asian, like me…” — a podcast and community for the modern Asian woman redefining what it means to thrive. A Korean immigrant, executive coach, author, and entrepreneur, Sohee has spent years helping Asian women navigate culture, career, and identity. She is also the founder of EVRten, a wellness brand for women who are ever curious and growth focused. Resources & Links * Listen to Selena’s previous episode on asian, like me…: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhoSo5exVPw * Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore 1:1 coaching: www.soheejunphd.com * Connect with Dr. Sohee to explore speaking at your company or event: https://soheejunphd.com/contact * Explore Dr. Sohee’s bestselling books: https://soheejunphd.com/books * Explore Dr. Sohee’s whole wellness products: www.evrten.com * SUBSCRIBE to the podcast here and don’t miss a drop: https://soheejunphd.com/insights Enjoyed This Episode? * Share it with an Asian woman in your life who needs to hear this * Leave a review — it helps the community grow * Subscribe to Dr. Sohee Jun's newsletter at www.soheejunphd.com * Follow “asian, like me…” on your favorite podcast platform This is your space to feel seen, heard, and inspired. Let's grow together. Keywords & Tags Asian women in corporate America, Asian female leadership, workplace advocacy, being heard at work, professional Asian women podcast, cultural identity and career, emotional intelligence for leaders, strategic communication, conflict avoidance Asian culture, executive presence women of color, modern Asian woman, Dr. Sohee Jun, Selena Yuan, “asian, like me…” podcast, immigrant women leadership, corporate visibility, personal brand at work, change agility, doing it afraid, inner work outer success

Radical Realignment: The 5-Question Audit to Stop Using Last Year’s Strategy for This Year’s Success.

Are you running today’s life with yesterday's operating system? In this episode, we’re diving deep into a question that every high-performing professional eventually hits: “What does success look like in this season of my life?” Often, we find ourselves "mired" in the busy—doing too much, saying yes to everything, and operating out of "conditioned actions" that no longer serve us. For many of us in the Asian community, the drive to achieve can lead us to ignore the shifting seasons of our lives until we are burnt out or misaligned. Dr. Sohee Jun shares the "radical realignment" framework—a 5-question seasonal audit designed to help you stop using last year’s strategy for this year’s success. Whether you are navigating a "liminal" season in your career, a shift in your family life, or a pivot in your work mission or all of the above, this episode is your permission slip to get radically curious about what this season actually needs from you and to radically drop the rest. IN THIS EPISODE, WE DISCUSS: * The Liminal Season: Understanding the space between who you were and who you are becoming. * Conditioned vs. Conscious Action: How to identify the "shoulds" we’ve inherited and replace them with intentional priorities. * The Courage to Say No: Why saying "no" more than you’re comfortable with is the secret to protecting your "precious time and energy." * The 5-Question Framework: A step-by-step audit to gain clarity and build a go-to playbook for your current season. THE 5-QUESTION SEASONAL AUDIT: 1. What season of life am I in right now? 2. What are my top 3 values serving as the foundation for this season? 3. How do my priorities need to shift to align with those values? 4. What are my daily actions that support these evolved priorities? 5. What will I take off my list to (radically) focus my time and energy? REFLECTION EXERCISE: Take a moment to "flow journal" these questions. Don't rush the answers. As we discuss in the episode, being patient with the emergence of clarity is where the real work begins. CONNECT WITH DR. SOHEE JUN: * Download the Values Worksheet here: https://soheejunphd.com/books * Order Dr. Sohee's wellness proten bars: www.evrten.com * Read the Book: Mommytracked: How to Take Authentic Risks and Find Success On Your Terms [https://a.co/d/01aOhdtP] * Work with Me: Interested in 1:1 deep coaching to gain seasonal clarity? https://soheejunphd.com/contact [https://soheejunphd.com/contact] Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe to asian, like me.. and leave us a review. Share this episode with a woman in your life who is ready to redefine success on her own terms.