Shut Up (Kindly) and Listen: Active Listening, Safe Storytelling, and Communication in the Blind Community

Sharing Your Story With the World -- Bethany Joy Boring

Part 4 of the “Telling Your Story” series explores the moment after you’ve shared your story with a few trusted people—and what it takes to move from private courage to public confidence. Bill and Bethany dive into shame, identity, pride, and the fear of “sticking out,” unpacking how those internal battles shape the way people with blindness show up in the world. The conversation moves through humor, hard truths, and deeply human stories—from awkward cane moments and guide-dog pride to skydiving, kitchen mishaps, and falling off stages. Bill reflects on learning to speak to thousands without knowing it, and Bethany shares the tension of wanting to inspire but not wanting to be an “inspiration story.” Together, they break down: Why sharing your story helps you reclaim your identity How to deal with misunderstanding, awkward interactions, and unwanted “help” Why shame often shows up for blind and low-vision people—and how to push back The difference between doing life differently and being “less than” How humor becomes a powerful tool to open people up Why everyday moments—helping your kids with homework, hiking with a guide dog, navigating a picnic—are the real stages you stand on Why connecting with others who “get it” matters to your confidence and resilience This episode encourages listeners to embrace their story, share it boldly (even when it’s uncomfortable), and recognize that everyday courage creates real change. Contact Info Guest / Co-Host Bethany Joy Boring Aftersight Website: aftersight.org Email for guest inquiries: jonathan@aftersight.org Phone: 720-712-8856 Producer Credits Produced by Jonathan Price, Podcast & Program Producer at Aftersight. Show Credits Host: Bill Lundgren Co-Host: Bethany Joy Boring Producer: Jonathan Price An Aftersight Original Podcast Chapter Markers 00:00 — Opening & Recap of the Series 01:48 — Sharing Your Story Beyond Close Friends 03:50 — Hurtful Comments, Vulnerability, and Identity 05:30 — Humor as a Tool for Comfort and Connection 07:48 — Finding Language to Explain Vision Loss 09:40 — Bill’s Early Podcast Nerves & Learning New Tech 11:30 — Realizing Your Story Reaches the World 13:00 — Shame, Pride, and “Doing Things Differently” 15:20 — Basketball, Muscle Memory & Challenging Assumptions 17:45 — Everyday Moments as Your “Podium” 20:10 — Cane Shame, Guide Dogs & Accepting Visibility 22:39 — Advocating for Yourself Without Apology 24:20 — Pain, Triumphs & Why Both Matter 26:25 — Hikes, Helpfulness & When Others Get in the Way 28:40 — The Universal Language of Struggle 30:15 — Using Technology to Connect With Family 32:10 — Educating the Public (Even When You’re Tired) 34:00 — Healthy Boundaries, “Hug Reflex,” and Self-Advocacy 36:10 — Building a Circle That Stays at the Table 38:00 — Everyday Courage & Living Life Differently 41:05 — Closing Reflections on Storytelling and Connection

Shut Up (Kindly) and Listen: Active Listening, Safe Storytelling, and Communication in the Blind Community

Episode Summary This episode of Blindsight takes a deep dive into one of the most essential yet difficult skills in mental and emotional health: active listening. Host Bill Lundgren and returning guest-turned-co-host Bethany Joy Boring explore how silence, curiosity, and emotional safety shape meaningful connection—especially within the blind and low-vision community, where non-visual cues and communication dynamics differ from the sighted world. Bill and Bethany demonstrate a live role-play showing how quickly conversation can derail when someone asserts dominance, makes assumptions, or stops listening. They break down the moment tension begins, the bodily sensations that signal emotional shifts, and the way triggers—both spoken and unspoken—shape responses. Listeners learn: Why silence can be a powerful connector rather than something to fear How to approach storytelling only with people who feel safe How to gently redirect when someone interrupts, overpowers, or shifts the focus The emotional cost of constantly “filling space” when you are blind or hard of hearing How to identify your “marble jar people” (those who can hold your real story) The importance of permission: knowing when someone wants listening, guidance, or simply presence This conversation is honest, practical, and deeply human—offering strategies for better communication, better boundaries, and better emotional awareness. Contact Info Guest / Co-Host Bethany Joy Boring — Mental Health Consultant & Author Aftersight Website: aftersight.org Feedback & questions: feedback@aftersight.org Phone: (720) 712-8856 Producer Jonathan Price — Podcast & Program Producer, Aftersight jonathan@aftersight.org Show Credits Host: Bill Lundgren Co-Host: Bethany Joy Boring Producer: Jonathan Price An Aftersight Original Podcast 4) Chapter Markers 00:00 — Opening & Topic Introduction 01:12 — Why Active Listening Is Hard Today 02:40 — Role-Play: When Communication Breaks Down 04:52 — Identifying the Moment Tension Begins 07:18 — How Body Signals Warn Us Early 09:40 — Practicing Awareness Before Hard Conversations 12:14 — The Listener’s Job: Curiosity, Not Assumption 14:22 — Staying Calm When Conversations Escalate 16:47 — How Vocabulary Changes Emotional Tone 18:56 — Safety, Storytelling, and Permission 21:11 — “I’m With You”: The Power of Silent Presence 23:18 — Bill’s Example: Silence as Support 25:32 — Why Silence Scares Us 27:46 — Protecting Yourself When You Can’t See/Hear 30:05 — When Pretending to Be OK Becomes Default 32:31 — How to Ask: “Do You Want Listening or Advice?” 34:53 — Not Everyone Is a Safe Person, and That’s OK 36:58 — Responding When Someone Minimizes Your Story 39:22 — Setting Boundaries Gently 41:32 — You Don’t Have to Stay in Unsafe Conversations 43:54 — Circles of Intimacy & “Marble Jar People” 46:16 — Sharing Vulnerability Only With the Right People 48:14 — Your Story Matters 50:40 — Closing Reflections & Next Episode Teaser

Storytime for Grown-Ups: Who’s Safe to Listen? Bethany Joy Boring Episode 2

Episode Summary Part Two moves from private reflection to sharing your story with someone else. Bill and Bethany cover how to choose a slice of your story, when to share, and how to assess whether a listener is safe. They model practical tactics: make the story linear by writing or recording, start imperfectly, use an “appreciation anchor” to regulate when emotions spike, and share in proportion to the relationship’s intimacy. They introduce the “Four S’s” for evaluating safe listeners (Seen, Safe, Secure, Soothing) and demonstrate how to ask for what you need (“do you want suggestions or listening?”). Exercise 2 focuses on identifying safe people and practicing gratitude with one of them. Exercise 2 — Defining Safe People (on-air reference) Purpose: Identify people who can hold your story without judgment. Steps: • List three people you talk to most often. • For each, note: Do they listen without fixing? Do they respect confidentiality? Do I feel calmer afterward? • Rank them for emotional safety. • Pick one and thank them for being a safe presence. Reflection: “What qualities make me feel safest — and how can I model them?” Contact Info Guest: Bethany Joy Boring — Speaker, coach, group facilitator Aftersight: aftersight.org | feedback@aftersight.org | (720) 712-8856 Producer: Jonathan Price, Podcast & Program Producer, Aftersight — jonathan@aftersight.org Show Credits Host: Bill Lundgren Guest: Bethany Joy Boring Series: Blindsight — Telling Your Story Production: Aftersight Originals Producer: Jonathan Price Recording and post: Aftersight Audio Team Chapter Markers 00:00 — Cold open and setup 02:24 — Pick a slice: what and why to share 04:44 — Permission to start imperfectly 06:44 — From circular thoughts to linear drafts 09:08 — Choose a safe place to create 11:32 — Naming emotions; IFS curiosity over control 13:51 — You decide pace and boundaries 16:17 — Body as protector; respecting limits 18:29 — Perspective shifts over time 20:16 — Imagery, low vision, and getting “unstuck” 22:41 — Appreciation anchor as safety net 25:03 — Right-size the share for the relationship 27:32 — Levels of intimacy as guide rails 31:43 — The Four S’s: Seen, Safe, Secure, Soothing 34:47 — Rehearsing stories builds resilience 37:01 — Authenticity on stage and in life 39:30 — Fixing vs listening; set expectations 41:55 — The power of shared silence 43:47 — Validate first; advice later 46:11 — Ask for what you need explicitly 48:13 — Model the behavior you want 50:13 — Practice listening; it’s a skill 53:44 — Vulnerability with progressive loss 56:09 — Invite others into your story 57:58 — Final takeaways and next steps 60:08 — Outro and resources

Telling Your Story with Bethany Joy Boring

Bill Lundgren and guest Bethany Joy Boring open a four-part series on how to tell your story. They frame why full-life “from birth to now” dumps overwhelm, and why starting with one scene creates safety and clarity. Bill shares turning points in hearing and vision loss, including the friend who told him the truth and stayed present. Bethany shows how hiding burns energy and blocks connection, how to choose safe listeners, and how adaptive skills become a communication superpower. They outline practical guardrails: begin with one moment, notice body cues, set relational boundaries, and take one small step today. Contact Info Guest: Bethany Joy Boring, mental health consultant and author. Aftersight: feedback@aftersight.org | (720) 712-8856 Producer: Jonathan Price, Podcast & Program Producer, Aftersight Show Credits Host: Bill Lundgren Guest: Bethany Joy Boring Producer: Jonathan Price Recording & Post: Aftersight Originals Chapter Markers 00:00 — Opening and series setup 02:26 — Bethany’s origin and the 20-minute story frame 04:49 — “Start with a scene,” not a saga 07:15 — Bill’s hearing message: “try harder” 09:18 — The energy cost of hiding 11:19 — Naming fear of others’ reactions 13:24 — The truth-telling friend and a career pivot 15:39 — Walking with allies vs. walking alone 18:03 — Professional identity and disclosure 20:21 — Adaptive storytelling as a superpower 22:38 — Selecting safe people, not boxes 25:03 — Asking for help without shame 27:27 — Play, humor, and dignity at home 29:43 — Safety checks before sharing 32:03 — Boundaries, pacing, and “workout soreness” 34:12 — The raw-egg test for trust 36:36 — Reciprocity: listen as you share 38:46 — Journaling when writing is hard 41:06 — Start small and adaptable 43:32 — Be selective; avoid relational poison 45:55 — Radical acceptance, defined and disliked 48:19 — One small action before you hit stop Exercise 1 — The Mirror Story Purpose: Start healing by safely naming what’s real. Steps: Choose a quiet moment. Write or record your personal story of loss or change. Add one line beginning with: “The part of my story I’ve avoided saying out loud is…” When finished, set it aside for 24 hours before reading or replaying it. On review, mark any sentences that made you pause, tear up, or smile. Reflection Prompt: “What truth did my body recognize before my mind did?”

Fireworks in Your Eyeballs (Some Assembly Required)

Bill Lundgren interviews Lily Turkstra, a PhD researcher at UC Santa Barbara, on the realities of visual prostheses. They unpack who qualifies, what “seeing” with phosphenes is like, how training works, and why expectation-setting and mental health support are critical. Takeaways: current implants provide rudimentary perception, not natural vision; outcomes vary; support systems and rehab matter; independence gains are possible but individualized; clinicians and families must align on expectations. Contact Info Guest resources: bionic-vision.org (lab hub), bionicvision.org (lab site) Aftersight: (720) 712-8856 • feedback@aftersight.org • aftersight.org Producer: Jonathan Price • jonathan@aftersight.org Show Credits Host: Bill Lundgren Guest: Lily, PhD researcher, UCSB (Bionic Vision) Producer: Jonathan Price Editor/Mix: Aftersight Audio Team A production of Aftersight Chapter Markers 00:00 — Why prosthetics in blindness matters 01:10 — Guest intro: Lily’s path to bionic vision 02:22 — From auditory perception to NASA to face blindness 03:40 — Who qualifies for visual implants 05:05 — Argus II and early devices 07:06 — What users actually “see”: phosphenes 08:20 — Learning a new visual language 09:30 — Daily-life integration vs lab outcomes 10:45 — Setting expectations for users and families 12:05 — Trade-offs: adaptation vs frustration 14:10 — What recognition is possible today 15:30 — Rehab and training workflows 16:37 — Practical home practice examples 18:10 — Community, altruism, and trial motivation 19:45 — Device limits vs “personal failure” 21:23 — External pressure and mental health 22:40 — “Change your life” claims, defined 23:51 — Independence as the real metric 25:10 — Measuring success outside the lab 27:10 — Family dynamics and letting go 30:01 — Finding peers and support 32:18 — Access barriers and consistency of care 34:25 — Integrating the device back into life 36:30 — Therapy and anxiety considerations 38:48 — Pre-implant psychological screening 41:18 — Whole-person fit and timing 43:40 — Research vs user expectations gap 46:01 — Co-design with users 48:23 — Why structured support groups would help 49:01 — Where to find trials and teams 51:28 — Resource sharing for the public 53:51 — Summary: useful, not universal; mindset matters 56:18 — Closing and resources recap