Clean Your Toilet Podcast

S08E06 - Maya Atiqah & Brenda Ng - Learning To Keep Going

53 min · 21. feb. 2026
episode S08E06 - Maya Atiqah & Brenda Ng - Learning To Keep Going cover

Description

What drives years of self-harm and abuse from a young age? How does it go undetected until it is almost too late? In this episode of Clean Your Toilet Podcast, we step into the world of 19-year-old physiotherapy assistant, Maya Atiqah, who recounts with Brenda Ng, Chief Fun(d) Officer, The Facilitators Project & Forest School coach, her journey of navigating self-harm and abuse as a coping mechanism to what she could not express growing up. Family instability, emotional neglect, and the absence of a safe space to speak meant that much of what she was feeling stayed locked inside. With distress is often being misread in young people, well-meaning comments like “you have a good life” can unintentionally shut conversations down, and result in the escalation of coping mechanisms. A lack of awareness and the inabilty to recognize what she was doing to herself meant things spiralled out of control and threatened her well-being in more ways than one. Together, Maya and Brenda explore the parts of mental health that rarely get talked about openly: ✨ Why silence can protect or hurt us ✨ How being misunderstood can deepen loneliness ✨ What it means to be given choice and agency when opening up ✨ Why asking the right questions matters more than offering quick advice ✨ How healing often begins when someone finally listens without judgment Maya’s story reminds us that not all pain looks dramatic, and not all cries for help sound loud. If you’ve ever struggled to explain what you’re feeling, felt dismissed because your pain didn’t look “serious enough”, or wished that someone would ask and truly listen... This episode will resonate more than you expect. 🧼 Silence doesn’t mean there’s nothing there. 🚽 Being asked with care can change everything. 💛 And sometimes, the story we don’t tell is the one we never learned how to say. #CleanYourToiletPodcast #GetReal #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #WhatTrulyMatters #StoriesWeDontTell #TheSilenceInside #ListeningMatters #Youth #MentalHealth #Abuse #Survivor #Singapore #Podcast

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65 episodes

episode S10E02: Why Do We Spend Our Lives Looking For Belonging? | Jean Seizure & Hun Ming Kwang artwork

S10E02: Why Do We Spend Our Lives Looking For Belonging? | Jean Seizure & Hun Ming Kwang

Everyone wants to belong. Few realise how much of themselves they've abandoned just to fit in. Church. School. Family. Society. In Episode 2 of Beyond Pride: The Darkness We Battle, queer artist Jean Seizure joins Ming Kwang, an LGBTQ+ Ally, also an award winning Master Coach, Filmmaker, and InnerWork, Diversity, Inclusion, Deep Democracy & Process Work Facilitator for a deeply personal conversation about identity, belonging trauma, faith, family, and the lifelong search for community. Jean opens up about growing up in a conservative Christian environment, discovering her identity, being singled out in school, navigating rejection within church, carrying the pressure of public visibility, and learning to heal through art, therapy, and honest conversations. Together, Jean and Ming move beyond the surface of identity politics to explore the deeper human experiences that shape us all. They explore questions such as: * Why do we spend our lives searching for belonging? * How do childhood experiences continue to shape our relationships as adults? * What happens when faith and identity seem to collide? * Why do we keep repeating the same emotional patterns? * How do family histories silently influence the way we see ourselves? * Can we ever truly belong if we don't first belong to ourselves? Drawing from decades of work in trauma-informed inner work, diversity, inclusion, conflict facilitation and process work, Ming invites us to look beyond labels and into the invisible systems—family, culture, religion and inherited histories that quietly shape our lives. This conversation is about the universal longing to be accepted, understood and loved for who we are. Because perhaps the question isn't: "Where do I belong?" Perhaps it's: "What parts of myself have I abandoned in order to belong?" — Beyond Pride: The Darkness We Battle A season exploring the unseen emotional, psychological and relational realities behind LGBTQ+ lives in Singapore. Rather than debating identities, this season creates space for honest conversations around the inner lives we rarely speak about: belonging, shame, relationships, family, healing, purpose, faith, community and the universal longing to be accepted for who we are. Whether you're part of the LGBTQ+ community, an ally, or simply someone searching for a deeper understanding of yourself and others, this season invites you into conversations that move beyond headlines and into our shared humanity. If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who values thoughtful dialogue, and subscribe for more conversations that challenge how we see ourselves, each other, and the world around us. — 🎙️ About the Podcast The Clean Your Toilet Podcast explores the inner work behind personal growth, leadership, and building a meaningful life through honest, unfiltered conversations. #CleanYourToiletPodcast #lgbtq #Identity #community #MentalHealth #faith #traumahealing #InnerWork #DeepDemocracy #healingjourney #selfawareness #PrideMonth #Podcast #Singapore

Yesterday1 h 25 min
episode S10E01: Who Are You Without Your Labels? | Joanne Chen & Hun Ming Kwang artwork

S10E01: Who Are You Without Your Labels? | Joanne Chen & Hun Ming Kwang

We created labels to help us belong.So why do they so often divide us?On the surface, this is a conversation about growing up lesbian in Singapore.But very quickly, it becomes something much deeper.In the first episode of Beyond Pride: The Darkness We Battle, Joanne Chen — community builder, Centre Manager of Proud Spaces, and proud lesbian joins Hun Ming Kwang — LGBTQ+ ally, Master Coach, and Innerwork, Diversity, Inclusivity, Deep Democracy & Process Work (IDIDDP) Facilitator for a conversation that begins with Pride, but ultimately explores the human search for identity, belonging, freedom and what it truly means to be seen.Growing up in Singapore, Joanne knew she was different long before she had the language to describe it. She shares candidly about navigating religious schools, bullying, rejection, and the quiet loneliness of never seeing yourself reflected in the world around you.Those experiences eventually led her to dedicate her life to building communities and creating spaces where others no longer have to feel alone.Drawing on decades of work in inner transformation, diversity, conflict facilitation and process work, Ming gently expands the conversation beyond identity politics into deeper human questions that affect every one of us.Together, they explore:• Why do we need labels to feel safe?• When does identity become a prison rather than a source of belonging?• How do shame, exclusion and discrimination shape the way we see ourselves?• Why do we instinctively divide the world into "us" and "them"?• Can we honour our identities without becoming confined by them?• What does it actually mean to be free?This conversation weaves through sexuality, religion, community, therapy, mental health, indigenous wisdom, belonging and the psychology of identity.It isn't about arriving at easy answers.It's about asking better questions.Because perhaps the deepest question isn't:"Who do you identify as?"It's:"Who are you... when every label falls away?"---Beyond Pride: The Darkness We BattleA season exploring the unseen emotional, psychological and relational realities behind LGBTQ+ lives in Singapore.Rather than debating identities, this season creates space for honest conversations around the inner lives we rarely speak about: belonging, shame, relationships, family, healing, purpose, faith, community and the universal longing to be accepted for who we are.Whether you're part of the LGBTQ+ community, an ally, or simply someone searching for a deeper understanding of yourself and others, this season invites you into conversations that move beyond headlines and into our shared humanity.If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who values thoughtful dialogue, and subscribe for more conversations that challenge how we see ourselves, each other, and the world around us.—🎙 About the PodcastThe Clean Your Toilet Podcast explores the inner work behind personal growth, leadership, and building a meaningful life through honest, unfiltered conversations.#CleanYourToiletPodcast #lgbtq #Identity #community #MentalHealth #InnerWork #DeepDemocracy #Psychology #PrideMonth #Podcast #Singapore

27. juni 202657 min
episode S09E07: What Our Kinks Reveal About Us | Goddess Dahlia & Angjolie Mei | CYT S9 artwork

S09E07: What Our Kinks Reveal About Us | Goddess Dahlia & Angjolie Mei | CYT S9

What if the people we judge the most are the ones who understand consent, boundaries, and human behaviour the best?When most people hear the word "kink", they think of pain, sex, dominance, submission, and taboo desires.But beneath all of that lies something far more interesting:Trust.Trauma.Healing.And the universal human need to be seen, accepted, and understood.In this episode, funeral director Angjolie Mei sits down with professional dominatrix Goddess Dahlia for one of the most unexpected conversations we've ever had on the podcast.What begins as an exploration into the world of kink quickly becomes a deeper conversation about power dynamics, consent, self-discovery, therapy, trauma, and what it means to live authentically in a world that is quick to judge what it doesn't understand.Together, they explore:• Why some people are drawn to dominance and submission• What kink can teach us about consent and boundaries• The psychology behind power and vulnerability• Why many people struggle to say "no"• Trauma, healing, and self-discovery• Living with judgment and stigma• The courage to embrace who you truly areOne of the most surprising insights from this conversation?The kink community often has more explicit conversations about consent, boundaries, and personal agency than many people have in their everyday relationships.At its heart, this episode isn't about kink.It's about being human:The parts of ourselves we hide.The stories we carry.The wounds we heal.And the freedom that comes from no longer needing permission to be yourself.If you've ever felt misunderstood, judged, different, or curious about what drives human behaviour, this conversation is for you.#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Psychology #Consent #SelfDiscovery #PersonalGrowth #HumanBehaviour #TraumaHealing #Authenticity #InnerWork #PowerDynamics #Podcast #Singapore

7. juni 20261 h 3 min
episode S09E06: Turning Pain Into Purpose | Catherine Ong & Angjolie Mei | CYT S9 artwork

S09E06: Turning Pain Into Purpose | Catherine Ong & Angjolie Mei | CYT S9

What if the thing that broke you becomes the very thing that gives your life meaning?After losing her mother following a decade-long battle with illness, Catherine Ong found herself navigating grief, postpartum depression, anxiety, and a profound sense of emptiness.The daughter who felt she had disappointed her mother.The artist who never intended to build a business.The grieving daughter who struggled to find purpose after loss.What emerged was something unexpected.Through art, Catherine discovered a way to express emotions that words could not hold. What began as a personal journey of healing eventually became Arkateori — a space where grief, creativity, inner child work, and human connection come together.In this episode of Confessions of the Unconventional, Catherine Ong and Angjolie Mei explore:• Living with grief after losing a parent• The mother-daughter relationship and unspoken expectations• Postpartum depression and anxiety• How art can become a pathway to healing• Inner child wounds and reparenting work• Motherhood, mortality, and talking openly about death with children• Finding purpose through pain• Why your flaws can become your greatest giftOne of the most powerful insights from this conversation:"Your flaws can become your superpower."This is a conversation about what becomes possible when we stop running from our pain and allow it to transform us.Because sometimes, to find yourself, you first have to lose yourself.🎙 About the PodcastThe Clean Your Toilet Podcast explores the inner work behind personal growth, leadership, and building a meaningful life through honest, unfiltered conversations.#CleanYourToiletPodcast #Grief #Healing #Purpose #InnerChild #InnerWork #Motherhood #MentalHealth #ArtTherapy #PersonalGrowth #Parenting #Podcast #Singapore #PostPartum

5. juni 20261 h 5 min
episode S09E05: The Water Sommelier's Search for Purpose | Sam Wu & Angjolie Mei | CYT S9 artwork

S09E05: The Water Sommelier's Search for Purpose | Sam Wu & Angjolie Mei | CYT S9

What if the life you are living was never truly yours to begin with? The expectations. The career. The identity. The version of yourself you learnt to become for approval, survival, or belonging. In this episode of Confessions of the Unconventional season, certified water sommelier Sam Wu and funeral director Angjolie Mei unexpectedly uncover a deeply human conversation about depression, grief, spirituality, purpose, authenticity, and the painful process of learning how to stop fighting against yourself. What begins as a conversation about water slowly unfolds into something far deeper. They reflect on: - Walking away from traditional family expectations - The hidden emotional cost of living a life misaligned with yourself - Depression, burnout, and losing interest in the things you once loved - Why many people quietly live disconnected from who they truly are - Spirituality, meditation, and inner work - Suicide, grief, emotional sensitivity, and empathy - Patterns in relationships and inherited conditioning - Why triggers can become teachers - Letting go of identities that no longer fit - Learning how to live more authentically and intentionally One of the most powerful moments comes when Sam shares how depression slowly drained the joy out of his life while working in his family’s apparel business. That eventually led him toward a completely unconventional path as Singapore’s first certified water sommelier. Another is Angjolie reflecting on losing both her aunt and father within a short span of time, calling off an engagement, and spiralling through one of the darkest periods of her life before beginning her own spiritual and inner work journey. Together, they speak openly about the quiet suffering many people carry while trying to become versions of themselves that society, family, or relationships expect them to be. And how true healing often begins when we finally stop resisting who we are. There are moments in this conversation that feel philosophical. Others feel raw, vulnerable, and intensely personal. Beneath all the labels, achievements, expectations, and social conditioning, many of us are secretly asking the same questions: Who am I really beneath all this? What parts of me were conditioned? What would my life look like if I finally allowed myself to live authentically? “Maybe our journey in life is really about peeling away all the layers that were never truly us.” This episode is reflective, emotionally layered, unexpectedly healing, and one of the deepest conversations this season. Watch till the end for a conversation about spirituality, purpose, grief, inner work, and the courage to choose a life that genuinely feels aligned. 🎙 About the Podcast The Clean Your Toilet Podcast explores the inner work behind personal growth, leadership, and building a meaningful life through honest, unfiltered conversations. #CleanYourToiletPodcast #Water #Authenticity #Spirituality #InnerWork #Purpose #Singapore #Podcast #Grief #SelfDiscovery

3. juni 20261 h 2 min