Fed Up, But Figuring It Out

The Double Standard of Fantasy, Romance, and “Women’s Fiction”

Why are fantasy stories written by women treated like guilty pleasures while male-centered fantasy is praised as genius world-building? In this episode of Fed Up, But Figuring It Out, we dive into the double standards surrounding romance, fantasy, and “women’s literature.” From Harry Potter and Percy Jackson to Throne of Glass, this episode explores how the stories we grow up with shape empathy, emotional literacy, and whose perspectives are considered “universal.” We unpack why women’s fantasy is so often dismissed as “porn,” while violent or sexually explicit male fantasy rarely faces the same criticism. This conversation also examines the neuroscience and cultural impact of porn versus romance novels, the role of emotional intimacy in women’s storytelling, the patriarchy present in reading culture, and why reading female perspectives matters for everyone, not just women. Drawing on feminist thought, reading statistics, BookTok culture, and personal reflections as an avid fantasy reader, this episode asks a bigger question: what does it say about our society when stories centered on women’s emotions, safety, and desire are mocked instead of respected? Sources: Carroll, J. (2023, April 18). Porn Gap: Difference in men and women pornography patterns. Wheatley Institute. https://wheatley.byu.edu/family/porn-gap-difference-in-men-and-women-pornography-patterns [https://wheatley.byu.edu/family/porn-gap-difference-in-men-and-women-pornography-patterns] Iyengar, S. (2025, January). The Men-Women Split in Reading is Real—and Persists Amid Historical Rate Declines. National Endowment for the Arts. https://www.arts.gov/stories/blog/2025/men-women-split-reading-real-and-persists-amid-historical-rate-declines [https://www.arts.gov/stories/blog/2025/men-women-split-reading-real-and-persists-amid-historical-rate-declines] Snitow, A. B. (1994). Mass Market Romance: Pornography for Women Is Different. In Living With Contradictions (1st ed.). Chapter, Routledge. Tylka, T. L. (2015). No harm in looking, right? Men’s pornography consumption, body image, and well-being. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 16(1), 97–107. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035774

Why Queer Love Hits Harder: What That Says About Us, Storytelling, and Romance

Why do queer love stories on screen feel more emotional, more authentic, and sometimes even more powerful, regardless of your identity? In this episode of Fed Up, But Figuring It Out, we unpack the cultural, political, and emotional weight behind queer romance in media. From decades of tragic storytelling to the recent rise of soft, joyful representation, queer love has been shaped by resistance, vulnerability, and choice in ways that challenge traditional narratives of romance. We explore how heteronormative scripts have flattened straight relationships on screen, why audiences, queer or not, are drawn to stories that feel intentional, and how representation impacts not just visibility, but emotional depth. This isn’t about saying queer love is “better”, it’s about understanding why it often feels more real. This episode dives into media, culture, identity, and storytelling to ask a bigger question: what does the portrayal of love on screen say about power, norms, and who gets to be seen? Sources: Castellano, R. (2025, September 15). Why authenticity is the secret to stronger relationships. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-humanistic-explorer/202509/why-authenticity-is-the-secret-to-stronger-relationships   Maimann , K. (2025, December 21). Why are women so into the man-on-man romance in heated rivalry?. CBC news. https://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/heated-rivalry-fandom-women-9.7020182   Queer Love and the rewriting of romantic norms. Daniel Dashnaw. (2025, March 21). https://danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com/blog/queer-love-and-the-rewriting-of-romantic-norms

Feminists Hate Men & Other Lies

Feminism isn’t anti-men, it’s anti-inequality. This episode unpacks the myths, the backlash, and the real meaning behind the movement. If you’ve ever questioned feminism, felt defensive in these conversations, or just want a clearer, more honest understanding of gender equality, this episode is for you. Sources: Elsesser, K. (2023). Feminists don’t hate men, according to New Research. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2023/11/27/feminists-dont-hate-men-according-to-new-research/   Feminism is for everybody. (2019). The Lancet, 393(10171).   Haysley, K. (2025). a classic Julia Sugarbaker moment, portrayed by icon, #Dixie Carter. #designingwomen #1980stv. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DPpk8aokWIN/   Hedges, T. (2024). Reclaiming misandry from misogynistic rhetoric. Feminist Review, 136(1), 84–99. https://doi.org/10.1177/01417789231223202   Hopkins-Doyle, A., Petterson, A. L., Leach, S., Zibell, H., Chobthamkit, P., Binti Abdul Rahim, S., Blake, J., Bosco, C., Cherrie-Rees, K., Beadle, A., Cock, V., Greer, H., Jankowska, A., Macdonald, K., Scott English, A., Wai Lan YEUNG, V., Asano, R., Beattie, P., Bernardo, A. B., … Sutton, R. M. (2023). The misandry myth: An inaccurate stereotype about feminists’ attitudes toward men. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 48(1), 8–37. https://doi.org/10.1177/03616843231202708   New study debunks myth that feminists hate men. University of Surrey. (2023). https://www.surrey.ac.uk/news/new-study-debunks-myth-feminists-hate-men   Prince, V. (2025). “Why don’t you trust men?” Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DOxTHkqDt5g/

The Myth of Neutrality

What does it really mean to be “neutral” in today’s world, and is it even possible? In this episode, we unpack what it really means to call yourself “apolitical” in a world where politics shapes everything. From activism burnout and information overload to performative allyship and social media pressure, we explore why so many people feel stuck between caring too much and not engaging at all. This conversation challenges the idea that staying out of politics is ever truly neutral, and asks a harder question: when does not choosing a side become a privilege in itself? If you’re interested in politics and culture, social justice conversations, critical thinking, media literacy, and what activism looks like in the digital age, this episode is for you. Sources: The apathy of being apolitical: Why remaining neutral during times of conflict is not an option. The Phoenix News. (2023). https://www.thephoenixnews.ca/posts/the-apathy-of-being-apolitical-why-remaining-neutral-during-times-of-conflict-is-not-an-option   Dorsey, E. (2025, August 27). Being apolitical is unacceptable in today’s political climate. Collegiate Times. https://www.collegiatetimes.com/opinion/being-apolitical-is-unacceptable-in-today-s-political-climate/article_9f725a71-eafb-490c-926b-5a96134b9948.html   “First they came....” poem by Martin Niemoller – poem, meaning, summary, and poem analysis. Unread Poets Society. (2022, December 21). https://unreadpoetssociety.com/2022/12/11/first-they-came-poem-by-martin-niemoller-poem-meaning-summary-and-poem-analysis/   Gassam Asare, J. (2023, December 6). Do celebrities like Beyonce have a responsibility to speak about injustice?. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/janicegassam/2023/12/06/do-celebrities-like-beyonce-have-a-responsibility-to-speak-about-injustice/   Krishna. (2025). The illusion of being apolitical. The Good Men Project. https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-illusion-of-being-apolitical/

Toxic Masculinity & Loneliness: How 'Manhood' affects Men's Mental Health

Is toxic masculinity fueling the male loneliness epidemic? In this episode of Fed Up, But Figuring It Out, host Priya Migneault unpacks the complex relationship between toxic masculinity, men’s mental health, and rising loneliness among men. While masculinity itself isn’t inherently harmful, rigid expectations around dominance, emotional suppression, and hyper-independence can leave many men isolated and struggling to connect. Priya explores how traditional gender norms, like “man up” culture, fear of vulnerability, and the pressure to appear strong, discourage emotional openness and prevent men from forming deep friendships or seeking help. The result? Higher rates of loneliness, depression, substance use, and suicide among men. If you care about gender equality, mental health, masculinity, and modern culture, this conversation is for you. Sources: Connor-Savarda, B.-N. (2023, March 30). Loneliness: One of the consequences of toxic masculinity. Emotion Intelligence Magazine. https://www.ei-magazine.com/post/loneliness-one-of-the-consequences-of-toxic-masculinity   Engaging men in gender equality: End violence against women in Canada. Canadian Women’s Foundation. (2018, January 10). https://canadianwomen.org/blog/comes-toxic-masculinity-lose/   How Toxic Masculinity Harms Men and Boys. Survivors.org. (2025, January 21). https://survivors.org/how-toxic-masculinity-harms-men/   Jones, F., Verity, L., Panayiotou, M., & Qualter, P. (2023). A review of evidence on the link between masculinity, loneliness, and suicide as observed in social media discussions. Current Research in Behavioral Sciences, 5. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.crbeha.2023.100129   Reeves, R. (2022, October 17). Toxic masculinity is a harmful myth. Society is in denial about the problems of boys and men. Big Think. https://bigthink.com/the-present/toxic-masculinity-myth/   Salter, M. (2019, February 27). The Problem With a Fight Against Toxic Masculinity. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/02/toxic-masculinity-history/583411/   Suicide in Canada: Key statistics (infographic). Government of Canada. (2023). https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/suicide-canada-key-statistics-infographic.html   Wade, D. (2023, March 31). Defining — and Addressing — Toxic Masculinity. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-masculinity