Florida Woman

FMK HALLOWEEN

WHEW strap in for an ADHD scumfest. We say nasty things about nasty stuff.

122 - JUST IN TIME FOR MILTON

We're back at it. Just as Milton makes landfall. Would you rather be a healthy, 27 year old torso with no arms or legs, or a deaf, blind, fully intact 99 year old? https://www.wisn.com/article/missing-milwaukee-woman-found-safe-in-florida-returns-home/62405795 [https://www.wisn.com/article/missing-milwaukee-woman-found-safe-in-florida-returns-home/62405795] https://www.nwfdailynews.com/story/lifestyle/things-to-do/destin/2019/09/25/florida-woman-bites-testicles-of-600-pound-camel/2699086007/ [https://www.nwfdailynews.com/story/lifestyle/things-to-do/destin/2019/09/25/florida-woman-bites-testicles-of-600-pound-camel/2699086007/] https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-woman-drunkenly-bites-mans-fishing-line-swims-away-with-lure-police-say [https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-woman-drunkenly-bites-mans-fishing-line-swims-away-with-lure-police-say] https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2023/09/20/florida-woman-86-accused-of-stealing-over-10k-from-99-year-old-blind-deaf-man/ [https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2023/09/20/florida-woman-86-accused-of-stealing-over-10k-from-99-year-old-blind-deaf-man/] https://www.instagram.com/hypeandhiphop/p/C-Y3uBESF9b/?hl=en&img_index=2 [https://www.instagram.com/hypeandhiphop/p/C-Y3uBESF9b/?hl=en&img_index=2]

Crimes By Grimes

Would YOU drive 100mph with three children in the backseat to get your GF to her taco bell job interview??? https://nypost.com/2023/03/23/florida-man-drives-100-mph-to-get-girlfriend-to-taco-bell-interview/ [https://nypost.com/2023/03/23/florida-man-drives-100-mph-to-get-girlfriend-to-taco-bell-interview/] https://myq105.com/2023/08/25/a-florida-mans-t-shirt-choice-probably-wont-help-with-his-dui-case/ [https://myq105.com/2023/08/25/a-florida-mans-t-shirt-choice-probably-wont-help-with-his-dui-case/] https://fortune.com/2023/10/21/florida-man-guilty-murdering-wife-zombie-house-flipping-reality-tv-show/ [https://fortune.com/2023/10/21/florida-man-guilty-murdering-wife-zombie-house-flipping-reality-tv-show/] https://www.tampabay.com/nation-world/florida-man-tries-to-bring-a-non-working-grenade-on-an-airplane-20190305/ [https://www.tampabay.com/nation-world/florida-man-tries-to-bring-a-non-working-grenade-on-an-airplane-20190305/] https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13052845/drunk-man-naked-florida-airport-terminal.html [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13052845/drunk-man-naked-florida-airport-terminal.html] https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-accused-of-stabbing-friend-with-samurai-sword-over-xbox [https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-accused-of-stabbing-friend-with-samurai-sword-over-xbox] https://nypost.com/2024/02/02/metro/florida-ex-nyc-medical-examiner-accused-of-stealing-from-dead-people/ [https://nypost.com/2024/02/02/metro/florida-ex-nyc-medical-examiner-accused-of-stealing-from-dead-people/] https://nypost.com/2024/03/02/us-news/florida-man-trafficked-thousands-of-turtles-worth-125k-to-hong-kong-germany/ [https://nypost.com/2024/03/02/us-news/florida-man-trafficked-thousands-of-turtles-worth-125k-to-hong-kong-germany/] https://abc3340.com/news/nation-world/non-tipping-customer-slapped-spat-on-for-not-throwing-money-at-employees-florida-bar-victoria-jones-charged-body-talk-sports-port-st-lucie-sheriffs-office-report-surveillance-video-account [https://abc3340.com/news/nation-world/non-tipping-customer-slapped-spat-on-for-not-throwing-money-at-employees-florida-bar-victoria-jones-charged-body-talk-sports-port-st-lucie-sheriffs-office-report-surveillance-video-account] https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/drunk-naked-florida-woman-wielding-peeler-knife-barges-into-racetrac-threatens-to-kill-staff-deputies [https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/drunk-naked-florida-woman-wielding-peeler-knife-barges-into-racetrac-threatens-to-kill-staff-deputies]

Montenegrins Be Like

Why do Montenegrins keep a chair next to their beds? So they can take a rest after they wake up. https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-allegedly-takes-stolen-amazon-van-on-20-mile-joyride-is-your-package-late [https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-allegedly-takes-stolen-amazon-van-on-20-mile-joyride-is-your-package-late] https://news.yahoo.com/doctors-remove-150-live-bugs-234435817.html [https://news.yahoo.com/doctors-remove-150-live-bugs-234435817.html] https://6abc.com/coat-hanger-medical-procedure-animal-cruelty-dogs/3114873/ [https://6abc.com/coat-hanger-medical-procedure-animal-cruelty-dogs/3114873/] https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/florida-woman-pleads-guilty-conspiracy-create-distribute-animal-crush-videos [https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/florida-woman-pleads-guilty-conspiracy-create-distribute-animal-crush-videos] https://www.cnn.com/2022/02/20/us/florida-woman-charged-with-stabbing-husband-140-times/index.html [https://www.cnn.com/2022/02/20/us/florida-woman-charged-with-stabbing-husband-140-times/index.html] https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/21/us/sandhole-florida-death-beach.html [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/21/us/sandhole-florida-death-beach.html] https://news.yahoo.com/florida-woman-missing-spain-taken-090052280.html [https://news.yahoo.com/florida-woman-missing-spain-taken-090052280.html]

Beachcraft Bonanza

Imagine being executed by a Beachcraft Bonanza. This is a prompt. Imagine it. SOURCES: https://wflanews.iheart.com/featured/the-ryan-gorman-show/content/2023-02-02-florida-man-bites-head-off-girlfriends-python-during-domestic-dispute/ [https://wflanews.iheart.com/featured/the-ryan-gorman-show/content/2023-02-02-florida-man-bites-head-off-girlfriends-python-during-domestic-dispute/] https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2024/01/29/florida-man-loses-50000-in-accidental-text-romance-scheme/ [https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2024/01/29/florida-man-loses-50000-in-accidental-text-romance-scheme/] https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2024/01/25/florida-man-accused-in-fatal-triple-shooting-after-trying-to-date-his-own-daughter/ [https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2024/01/25/florida-man-accused-in-fatal-triple-shooting-after-trying-to-date-his-own-daughter/] https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/01/us/plane-crash-florida-mobile-home-park.html [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/01/us/plane-crash-florida-mobile-home-park.html] https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article284910462.html [https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article284910462.html] https://www.businessinsider.com/frontier-passenger-pulled-down-underwear-squatted-in-aisle-affidavit-2024-1 [https://www.businessinsider.com/frontier-passenger-pulled-down-underwear-squatted-in-aisle-affidavit-2024-1] https://nypost.com/2024/01/20/news/florida-politician-stabs-daughter-husband-believing-they-were-the-devil/ [https://nypost.com/2024/01/20/news/florida-politician-stabs-daughter-husband-believing-they-were-the-devil/] https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/elderly-woman-arrested-florida/ [https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/elderly-woman-arrested-florida/] https://wpde.com/news/nation-world/sting-uncovers-toothless-scheme-3-women-arrested-miami-dade-and-brow-ard-counties-avocado-grill-on-datura-street-west-palm-beach-police-department-ann-sherry-miller-mother-daughter-pair-named-mary-steimberg-sheila-angelina-miller-bogus-9000-bill [https://wpde.com/news/nation-world/sting-uncovers-toothless-scheme-3-women-arrested-miami-dade-and-brow-ard-counties-avocado-grill-on-datura-street-west-palm-beach-police-department-ann-sherry-miller-mother-daughter-pair-named-mary-steimberg-sheila-angelina-miller-bogus-9000-bill] https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article284910462.html [https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article284910462.html]