H.O.P.E - Hang On Pain Ends

The Fog.

As I am here in this "inbetween" state of hypomania and depression .... I feel so foggy... yet somehow, clear in the sense that I am now looking through what has transpired over the past 5-6 months through a different lens....Still in disbelief that this is happening....

Manic for Months and I had NO Idea.

This is when the realization was becoming clear ... a depressive episode of Bipolar disorder doesn't just happen .. as I have said many times "what goes up... must come down." - I was realizing that not only was I now suffering from the indescribable ache of depression .... I was looking back on all of these months ... realizing, that my Brain was Lying to Me.

The Bipolar Depressive Crash - 6/2/26.

In the history of my illness I have never gone to sleep one night feeling "Fine" and then waking up the next morning and felt Depression. But... I guess there's a first time for everything. I want to emphasize that by the time this is being posted/listened to ... I am OK ... I am better. Although at the time of recording this .... I was not doing well... I was definitely not even thinking I would EVER share this .... but now that the depression has lifted, I want to share. It's important for everyone to understand what an illness like this can look like ... I am still digesting what I am realizing in this moment ... and I am going to continue to take you all along with me... if that's OK. Thank you.

Please Listen to This First.

Hi everyone.... I ask you listen to this before you listen to the upcoming episodes.... I was very close to deleting the entire podcast two weeks ago... I was beyond embarrassed, ashamed, and devastated. I have decided instead, to share the details of what has happened .... in the hopes to continue to bring awareness to mental illness, especially the highs and lows of Bipolar Disorder. Thank you so much for continuing this journey with me .... I am very unsure on what direction we are heading now .... but having you with me really helps... Love Always, Alana

The Little Signs from Heaven... Are the Big Signs.

I Finally finished reading the book "Signs" by Laura Lynne Jackson .... there was a part in the book where the author talks about how one of the hardest "signs" your angels can send you is a Rainbow .... as you all know by now, My dad and other angels are constantly sending me signs ... but a rainbow isn't something I had ever asked for... or even thought about. You have to listen to believe it .... and please, remember, if you are OPEN to the signs from the other side ... You WILL see them! Our angels are always with us ... and they show us .... it's just a matter of us actually SEEING THEM... and acknowledging it as a TRUE sign from Heaven.