266. "We’re in our 30s fighting over $1000. Can we fix this?"

266. "We’re in our 30s fighting over $1000. Can we fix this?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Alexis, 29, and Edwens, 30, a married couple with a 10-month-old baby and two completely different ideas of what money should look like in a marriage. Edwens immigrated from the Dominican Republic less than two years ago, and personal finance is still new to him. Alexis has been trying to teach him, manage the bills, build the budget, and create a future for their family. And yet, their biggest fight keeps coming back to one question: Why won’t Edwens open a joint bank account? But the account is only part of the story. What Ramit uncovers is a marriage where Alexis wants partnership, transparency, and a shared family system, while Edwens is still holding on to independence, privacy, and the idea that giving her $1,000 a month should be enough. Alexis feels like she has become the household manager, the bill payer, and eventually more like his mother than his wife. Edwens feels criticized and controlled, especially around credit cards and spending. Underneath all of it are cultural differences, childhood money patterns, and a couple with a baby who are still trying to turn two separate money lives into one shared future. In this episode we uncover: Why a joint bank account becomes the breaking point in their marriage What Alexis means when she says Edwens still acts like a single man Why Edwens sees separate money as independence, not betrayal The $1,000 arrangement that leaves Alexis managing everything alone How cultural differences shape their money rules Why Edwens struggles to understand credit cards and debt The moment Ramit almost ends the session Why Alexis feels like she has become Edwens’s mother, not his wife How childhood money patterns are showing up in their marriage Why their cheap rent is a financial gift they are not fully using The moment they finally start building a shared money system Chapters: (00:00:00) “He still operates like a single man” (00:01:58) The joint bank account fight (00:07:19) “I don’t want to be married without a joint account” (00:12:19) She wants partnership. He hears control. (00:18:05) The credit card argument (00:25:50) Why does he listen to Ramit, but not his wife? (00:30:56) Ramit almost ends the session (00:35:31) Their real income changes the conversation (00:45:20) The bills, the $1,000, and who actually manages the money (00:55:04) Repeating their parents’ money fights (01:02:25) Building a new money culture as a couple (01:07:13) Alexis has been carrying the household alone (01:15:20) “I feel like his mom, not his wife” (01:21:52) Breaking the generational money pattern (01:27:54) Why therapy needs to happen before it’s too late (01:32:33) Rebuilding their Conscious Spending Plan (01:43:16) From separate money to real partnership (01:48:02) Follow-up This episode is brought to you by: Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit Gelt | Gelt is taking on new clients now. Find out if you qualify at https://joingelt.com/ramit. DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Single in LA? Apply now to star in my new reality series about love and money at https://iwt.com/datingshow Calling LA couples: Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

265. "We spend 179% of what we make. Are we screwed?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Melissa and Taryn, a married couple in their 40s living in Los Angeles with five children. They have a net worth of over $700K, nearly half a million invested, and a successful business, but their finances are on the edge. After Taryn took a $75K pay cut and was later laid off from Netflix, they continued building a $200K pool, took on a $100K family loan, and now face fixed costs of 179%. Ramit helps them confront the brutal math behind their situation, the emotional reasons they keep avoiding it, and the radical changes they may need to make before they run out of money. In this episode we uncover: • Why Melissa and Taryn built a $200K pool after a major pay cut • How Taryn’s Netflix layoff changed everything • Why their fixed costs hit a shocking 179% • The real cost of their $100K family loan • Why “everything goes on a credit card” became normal • How they ended up with $1.2M in debt • Why selling the house may not solve the problem • The hidden danger of renting another expensive home • Why Melissa’s successful business still may not be enough • How grief and loss shaped their relationship with travel and money • Why Taryn feels like she just “makes the money” • The emotional power dynamic behind their spending decisions • Why small cuts like subscriptions won’t fix a structural problem • Ramit’s warning that they may be setting themselves up to struggle again • The uncomfortable reality of moving out of Los Angeles • Why their marriage needs a mission, not just a budget • How their kids are already affected by their money choices • Ramit’s advice for making radical change before the clock runs out ⏩ CHAPTERS (00:00:00) “I just want the debt gone” (00:01:23) Meet Melissa and Taryn (00:02:40) Taryn’s Netflix layoff (00:04:18) Buying the house after a $75K pay cut (00:05:39) The real cost of the pool (00:07:48) Taking a $100K family loan (00:10:50) Why the debt cycle keeps repeating (00:15:25) Taryn’s role as the “money maker” (00:18:03) Their income no longer matches their life (00:20:03) Ramit reveals their 179% fixed costs (00:21:20) Why selling the house isn’t enough (00:22:51) The rent math gets even worse (00:26:46) The clock is ticking (00:31:25) Could they move to South Carolina? (00:41:24) The power dynamic in their marriage (00:57:16) Defining their Rich Life (01:02:18) What happens after selling the house? (01:15:28) Ramit confronts the decision they’re avoiding (01:28:48) Talking to their kids about money (01:36:58) Final thoughts and next steps This episode is brought to you by: Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit [https://trustandwill.com/ramit] and get 20% off ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit [https://zocdoc.com/ramit] to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Wispr Flow | Try Wispr Flow for free at wisprflow.ai/ramit [https://wisprflow.ai/ramit] Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com [https://leesa.com/] for 25% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

264. "We’re worth $4M. Why is she so terrified to spend?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to J and Ana, a couple in their early 40s with three children who have built nearly $4 million in net worth through decades of hard work, saving, and real estate investing. On paper, they are in an incredible financial position. They have around $4.8 million in assets, more than $1.2 million invested, $136K in savings, and a net worth just under $4 million. But despite all of that, they still don’t feel free. J applied because he feels like they’ve had their foot on the gas since they were teenagers and don’t know when they’re allowed to cruise. He wants to relax, travel, and enjoy the life they’ve built. Ana wants that too, but her fear of debt, her desire to protect their kids, and her instinct to keep building make it almost impossible for her to stop. What looks like a conversation about rental properties, credit cards, cars, and spending is really about safety, identity, immigrant family scripts, and learning how to enjoy money after a lifetime of working. In this episode we uncover: • Why J and Ana still feel stressed despite having nearly $4 million in net worth • How decades of hard work and real estate investing shaped their money dynamic • Why J feels ready to slow down, but Ana struggles to believe they have enough • Why selling one house feels like both a financial decision and a family decision • How credit card spending, shoes, cars, and hobbies became recurring conflict points • Why J feels like he has to justify his spending • The parent-child dynamic that shows up in their money conversations • Why Ramit challenges them on changing the CSP numbers • How immigrant family history shaped Ana’s relationship with work, money, and worry • The question of whether multiple properties are still part of their Rich Life • How becoming more decisive may be the real work ahead Chapters: (00:01:44) Meet J and Ana (00:03:34) “Our foot is stuck on the gas” (00:04:28) Ana doesn’t know when it’s time to sell (00:05:21) Why they are never on the same page about money (00:07:11) The credit card statement fights (00:08:44) Ana’s dream: take away the card and pay off properties (00:10:14) Shoes, cars, and spending guilt (00:13:04) The parent-child dynamic in their money conversations (00:14:47) Looking at the Conscious Spending Plan together (00:18:08) Income, rental properties, and CSP confusion ( 00:30:32) The family house they can’t agree on selling (00:34:12) Why making more money hasn’t made them feel better (01:38:30) Ana’s challenge: learning to spend on herself (01:42:53) Ramit’s final warning: they need to become decisive together This episode is brought to you by: DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkoutNetsuite | Get the free guide “Demystifying AI” at https://netsuite.com/ramit [https://netsuite.com/ramit] Superhuman Mail | Turn your inbox into momentum. Sign up at https://superhuman.com/ramit [https://superhuman.com/ramit]. Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit [https://meetfabric.com/ramit] Factor | Head to factormeals.com/ramit50off and use code ramit50off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details). Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

263. "We spend 102% of what we make. Will we ever stop drowning?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Freya and Blake, a couple in their mid-40s with two young children who are facing one of the most urgent financial situations we’ve seen on the show. Together, they earn around $143K a year, but their fixed costs are at 102%, they have $0 in savings, only $180 invested, and more than $96K in debt. Freya applied because she feared they were close to becoming homeless. On the surface, their problem looks like debt. Underneath, it’s avoidance, guilt, lack of partnership, and years of “we’ll figure it out later.” Freya carries the emotional labour of the household and money decisions, while Blake admits he avoids the numbers and tries to solve problems by simply making more money. Ramit helps them confront the reality of their situation, stop tinkering around the edges, and build a radical plan that gives their family a chance to get stable. In this episode we uncover: • Why Freya and Blake are spending more than they make every month • How their fixed costs reached 102% of their income • Why having a $143K income still isn’t enough when there’s no system • The $96K debt number that forces them to face reality • Why Freya feels like she has to manage everything alone • Blake’s “ostrich” approach to money and avoidance • How trips, skiing, and everyday spending became symptoms of a bigger issue • Why being intelligent doesn’t protect you from bad money decisions • The emotional cost of having $0 in savings with two young children • How childhood, privilege, resentment, and guilt shaped their money habits • Why hustling stops working once fixed costs get too high • Ramit’s warning that they are weeks away from not being able to pay rent • Why Blake may need to aggressively increase his income • How they move from blame and panic into a shared plan • Their follow-up reflections on what finally felt doable Chapters: (00:01:20) Meet Freya and Blake (00:03:30) Why Freya applied to speak with Ramit (00:05:23) “Do you want to have a budget conversation?” (00:05:56) The skiing trip that became a money fight (00:08:22) The Mexico trip they couldn’t afford (00:13:52) Savings are gone and the safety net has disappeared (00:15:16) Freya carries the planning, groceries, kids, and money stress (00:21:54) Looking at the Conscious Spending Plan together (00:24:01) The real debt and net worth numbers land (00:31:24) Why 102% fixed costs means they are broke (00:32:04) Ramit warns they are weeks away from not paying rent (00:34:54) Childhood money lessons and blame (00:43:57) Borrowing money to avoid eviction (00:48:11) Blake’s belief that more income will solve everything (00:57:14) Guilt, family, and saying yes when they should say no (01:03:00) Defining a realistic Rich Life from where they are now (01:08:30) Childcare costs disappearing (01:15:03) Freya asks Blake to help with grocery planning (01:18:00) Why savings comes before debt payoff right now (01:34:00) Why the plan finally feels doable This episode is brought to you by: Grow Therapy | Visit https://growtherapy.com/ramit [https://growtherapy.com/ramit] to find a therapist today. LMNT | Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT [https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT] MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and at least 15% off any annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit [https://masterclass.com/ramit] Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit [https://facet.com/ramit] to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Have you or your partner realised you’re paying a 1% financial advisor hundreds of thousands of dollars in fees over your lifetime? Maybe you feel stuck because they’re your “family money guy,” If so, I want to talk. Apply to be on my podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

262. "We make $167k. Why do we feel poor?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Drew and Amanda, a married couple earning around $167,000 a year with a net worth of over $800,000. On paper, they look financially successful but behind the scenes, their fixed costs are dangerously high, their savings are low, and their spending decisions are causing tension in the relationship. Drew admits he struggles with spending, while Amanda finds it difficult to say no, leaving them stuck in a pattern where money feels stressful instead of empowering. In this episode we uncover: • Their household income of around $167,000 a year • Why they still feel financially stretched despite a strong net worth • Their surprisingly low savings compared with their assets • How fixed costs reached around 89% of their gross income • Drew’s struggle with spending and impulse decisions • Amanda’s difficulty saying no without feeling like the “bad guy” • The hidden relationship dynamic behind their financial stress • Why eating out 6–8 times a week became a major spending leak • The role of bonuses in justifying bigger spending decisions • Amanda’s childhood experiences with financial instability • Drew’s “you only live once” money mindset • How their daughter is learning from their financial behaviour • Ramit’s challenge for them to stop making emotional money decisions • Why vacations may need to pause while they rebuild savings • Their plan to create a family money philosophy and emergency fund ⏩ CHAPTERS (00:03:15) Why Drew applied to the podcast (00:07:00) The hidden decision-making problem (00:10:30) Why they don’t feel like a team with money (00:16:15) Their financial numbers revealed (00:21:15) The reality of their household income (00:29:25) Fixed costs are the real problem (00:33:10) The truth about eating out (00:35:50) How bonuses fuel spending (00:39:30) The couple who struggle to say no (00:45:30) Amanda’s childhood money story (00:56:30) Their inherited money beliefs (00:58:20) Starting their Rich Life vision (01:04:00) Pausing vacations to rebuild stability (01:10:00) Drew practices saying no (01:16:30) Amanda’s role changes (01:20:30) Cutting subscriptions and eating out (01:29:30) Redirecting money toward savings (01:36:00) Creating a family money philosophy (01:44:30) Ramit’s final advice THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit [https://shopify.com/ramit] Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit [https://joingelt.com/ramit]. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Wispr Flow | Try Wispr Flow for free at wisprflow.ai/ramit [https://wisprflow.ai/ramit] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Calling LA couples: Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply