Is it better to stay singe?

Am I Exploting Myself?

Introduction Those are the words of Kim Mi-kyung — speaker, author, and entrepreneur — in a recent interview. A viewer had written in: "On the outside I look fine, but inside I'm falling apart. Work is okay. But the moment I come home, it's like the power goes off. I'm hollow. Every day I just get through it on duty." Does any of that sound familiar? The Functional Self Trap Diagnosis There is a version of ourselves built for the world — competent, capable, productive. Call it the functional self. We invest in it heavily. Then there is the self that comes home at night — the one we leave in the corner to fend for itself. Edward Welch, in When People Are Big and God Is Small (P&R, 1997), traces this to a deeper root. When we hand the weight of our worth to other people's approval, those people quietly grow larger than God in our inner world. We stop seeing ourselves from the inside and begin perpetually evaluating ourselves through external eyes. The functional self is the structure that fear builds. Tim Keller makes a related observation in Every Good Endeavor (Dutton, 2012): work and achievement are genuinely good things — but the moment they become the source of our identity, they become idols. Marshall Goldsmith adds in What Got You Here Won't Get You There (Hyperion, 2007): the very patterns that produced success become, at a certain point, the greatest obstacles to growth. A Theology of Stopping Rest Kim Mi-kyung's hard-won wisdom: "Some things cannot be solved while running. You have to stop and set them down." But stopping is terrifying — because the moment we stop performing, the identity built on performance is suddenly exposed. The Westminster Shorter Catechism opens here: the chief end of human beings is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. That is the original KPI — Key Performance Indicator, the measure by which you judge whether you are succeeding — and it was never issued by the market, never earned by decades of grinding. When that KPI becomes the one we live by, everything begins to shift. "So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his."— Hebrews 4:9–10 (ESV) Gospel The rest of Hebrews 4 is not about sleep or vacation. It is about ceasing to prove yourself — because God has already declared you in Christ. Reformed theology has always understood this rest as fulfilled in Christ himself: he is our Sabbath. We do not rest in order to be accepted; we rest because we already are. John Calvin wrote in the very first lines of the Institutes that nearly all wisdom consists of two things: knowledge of God and knowledge of ourselves — and that these cannot be separated. Self-knowledge that bypasses God leads us back to the mirror of other people's approval. Only God-knowledge gives us a place to stand that does not shake. The Turning Point in the Dark Vulnerability Kim Mi-kyung shared something many public figures never say aloud. At the height of her career — the speaking, the staff, the recognition — her inner world was in collapse. She described it plainly: "I was carrying unhappiness into every working day." In the depths of that season, she called her sister. And said: "언니, 나 좀 살려 줘 — Sister, help me live." It was the moment she stopped holding the weight alone and let someone see her. That became the turning point. Marcia Reynolds writes in Coach the Person, Not the Problem (Berrett-Koehler, 2020) that real change rarely begins with solving the presenting problem. It begins when a person feels genuinely seen — not for what they produce, but for who they are. That one phone call opened exactly that space. "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."— Psalm 34:18 (ESV) A Second Life — When the KPI Changes Freedom After that season, Kim Mi-kyung describes seeing the world differently — not as a stage on which she must prove herself, but as a constructed set whose rules no longer have to be treated as ultimate. The KPI changed: from "what can I achieve?" to "do I know who I am, and am I living from that?" David Powlison of CCEF observed that the question of identity can only be rightly answered when we first know who God is — self-knowledge follows God-knowledge, not the other way around (Powlison, "A Man's Identity," Journal of Biblical Counseling, CCEF). Returning to Welch's insight: as long as other people's approval feels larger than God, fear of losing that approval will keep us running past every warning sign. When that fear loosens its grip — when the fear of the LORD takes its proper place — we find that we can, at last, stop. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2601934/support]

Is it better to stay singe?

Beginning in chapter 7, Paul enters a new phase. He opens with the phrase, "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote" — meaning he is no longer raising his own concerns, but answering questions the Corinthians themselves sent him. We only have one side of the correspondence. But reading his replies, the shape of their questions begins to emerge. It seems some in the Corinthian church had concluded that the more spiritually mature a person is, the freer they should be from physical things — that a holier life meant keeping one's distance from marriage and marital intimacy. In contemporary language, the question becomes: "Isn't singleness a holier state than marriage?" This question has recurred throughout church history. Roman Catholicism has long answered it in one direction through the institution of clerical celibacy. But Paul's answer is far more balanced, far more generous — and, in all honesty, far more consistent with the Gospel. 1부 · The Body Matters (vv. 1–7) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:3–4 — NIV These verses were striking in the ancient world. In Greco-Roman culture, women were largely regarded as property of their husbands. The very idea of granting wives equal standing in this domain was exceptional. Yet Paul says exactly that: the husband's body belongs to the wife, and the wife's body belongs to the husband. This is mutual accountability within the covenant of marriage. Tim Keller, in a 2005 leadership talk at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, described marital intimacy as a covenant renewal — a way of saying in physical terms, "I belong completely, totally, and exclusively to you." Paul is not embarrassed by the body. He treats it as a gift from God and an expression of the marriage covenant. Paul then says: do not deprive one another — except by mutual agreement, for a limited season of prayer. And after that, come back together. Otherwise, Satan may find an opening through lack of self-control. (v. 5) This warning is not an encouragement toward asceticism. It is exactly the opposite. Paul is actively commending physical intimacy within marriage. Then, in verse 7, Paul reveals his own heart. He wishes that everyone were as he is — that is, single. But he immediately adds: each person has their own gift from God, one kind or another. Calvin, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians (available at the Christian Classics Ethereal Library), identifies this as "a singular token of modesty" (Calvin, Commentary on 1 Corinthians, 7:7): Paul is endowed with the gift of continency but does not impose his own standard on others. To require celibacy of those who do not have that gift is to work against God's own design. Reformed Note The Council of Trent (1563) declared celibacy superior to marriage for those entering holy orders. The Reformers — Calvin above all — rejected this as an unwarranted hierarchy not found in Scripture. For Calvin, marriage is a legitimate calling and a God-given remedy, not a concession to weakness. Neither state is inherently closer to God. What matters is whether a person is living faithfully within the calling God has given them. 2부 ·  Singleness Is Not a Consolation Prize (vv. 8–9) Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:8–9 — NIV The phrase "it is better to marry than to burn with passion" is sometimes read as though marriage were a lesser option. But that is exactly the wrong reading. Paul's point is this: if God has given you the gift of marriage, use it. Forcing yourself into a celibacy you were never given is not a mark of holiness — it is a setup for failure. By the same logic, a church culture that regards single people as those who "haven't found someone yet" also conflicts with Paul's theology. Singleness is not second-class citizenship. It is also a gift from God. Singleness is a gift from God. Marriage is a gift from God. Neither one saves you. Neither one defines you. What defines you is your union with Christ alone. 3부 · The Gospel Holds the Marriage (vv. 10–16) From verse 10, Paul turns to those who are already married. And here he does something he does rarely — he explicitly appeals to the Lord's own teaching: do not divorce. This is not merely Paul's personal opinion. He grounds his instruction in what Jesus himself commanded, reflecting the teaching of Jesus found in Mark 10 and Matthew 5 and 19. In a world where divorce was relatively accessible in both Roman and Jewish culture, this was a genuinely new and demanding word — and likely unfamiliar to many Corinthian believers. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 1 Corinthians 7:14 — NIV This verse requires careful reading. Paul is not saying the unbelieving spouse is automatically saved. He is saying something more subtle: the very presence of a believing spouse brings that household into the sphere of God's grace. The children grow up within contact of the covenant community. This connects to what Reformed theology calls covenant nurture — salvation is not automatic, but the means of grace are at work in that home in a real and meaningful way. But what if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave? Paul says: let them go. "A brother or a sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." (v. 15) And then comes verse 16 — one of the most quietly hopeful lines in the chapter: "How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" This is the language of hope, not abandonment. You do not know what God might yet do. To remain faithful in that uncertainty — that is to live as a person of the Gospel. Neither marriage nor singleness saves us. Christ alone saves us. And within that freedom of the Gospel, we are freed to glorify God in whatever calling we have been given. Coaching Questions Status  How do you honestly feel about your current relationship status — married or single? Is there a story you've been telling yourself about it that might look different in light of what Paul says here? Surrender Within your marriage or your life as a single person, where are you still holding something back — from God or from the person He has placed in your life? What might change if you were to surrender that place? Sanctification Paul says the believing spouse becomes a channel of grace within the home. Who is closest to you right now — family, colleague, or friend — and what does your presence communicate to them? Is the grace that lives in you reaching them? Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2601934/support]

The Courage to Know Yourself

Episode #85: 나를 알아가는 용기 / The Courage to Know Yourself 나를 알아가는 용기 The Courage to Know Yourself 대한민국 역대 최연소 사법시험 합격자가 8년간 몸담았던 김앤장을 떠났습니다. 실패해서가 아니었습니다. 성공했는데도 행복하지 않았기 때문입니다. 박지원의 세바시 강연은 단순한 커리어 전환 이야기가 아닙니다. 그것은 오랫동안 남이 정해 준 길 위에서 달려온 사람이, 처음으로 자기 자신에게 정직해지는 이야기입니다. 이번 에피소드에서 쥬빌리 코치는 박지원의 이야기를 통해 이런 질문들을 함께 생각해 봅니다: * 외적 동기(돈, 지위, 인정)와 내적 동기 사이에서 나는 어디에 있는가? * "나에 대한 데이터베이스"를 쌓는다는 것은 무엇을 의미하는가? * IFS(내면 가족 체계) 관점에서, 내 삶을 주도하고 있는 것은 어떤 부분인가? * 자기인식은 어디서 끝나고, 하나님을 향한 여정은 어디서 시작되는가? * 성취(achievement)와 성장(growth)의 차이는 무엇인가? 성경은 자기 자신을 아는 것과 하나님을 아는 것이 서로 연결되어 있다고 말합니다. 나의 한계와 공허함을 정직하게 바라볼 때, 우리는 스스로 채울 수 없는 것이 있다는 것을 발견합니다. 그리고 그 발견이 우리를 하나님께로 이끕니다. 박지원이 말하는 "성장"의 여정 — 그것은 복음 안에서 더 깊고 더 자유로운 의미를 갖습니다. Korea's youngest-ever to pass the bar exam spent eight years at one of the country's most prestigious law firms — and then walked away. Not because she failed. Because she had succeeded, and still wasn't happy. Park Ji-won's Sebasi talk is not simply a career-change story. It's the story of someone who had been running hard on a path others set for her — and who, for the first time, got honest with herself. In this episode, Jubilee Coach reflects on Park Ji-won's story and explores these questions: * Where do you land between extrinsic motivation (money, status, approval) and intrinsic motivation? * What does it actually mean to build a "database of yourself"? * Through an IFS (Internal Family Systems) lens — which parts are running your life right now? * Where does self-knowledge end, and where does the journey toward God begin? * What is the difference between achievement and growth? Scripture has always held that knowing ourselves and knowing God are bound together. When we look honestly at our limits and our emptiness — what we cannot fill on our own — we discover a need only God can meet. And that discovery leads us somewhere. The journey toward self-knowledge that Park Ji-won describes becomes, in the light of the gospel, something deeper and freer than a personal project. It becomes a form of worship. 이번 에피소드에서 다루는 내용 | In This Episode — 박지원 세바시 강연 소개 | Introduction to Park Ji-won's Sebasi talk — 외적 동기 vs. 내적 동기 | Extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation — IFS: 관리자 부분과 Self의 주도권 | IFS: Manager parts and Self-leadership — 자기인식과 하나님 인식 | Self-knowledge and knowledge of God — 성취와 성장의 차이 | The difference between achievement and growth — 쥬빌리 코치의 질문들 | Jubilee Coach's reflection questions 참고 자료 | References 박지원 (Park, J.). (2025). 나만의 행복의 공식 [세바시 강연]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTzomRi_Hwk [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTzomRi_Hwk] Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection. Hazelden. Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No bad parts. Sounds True. Powlison, D. (n.d.). What is your calling? CCEF. https://www.ccef.org/products/what-is-your-calling/ [https://www.ccef.org/products/what-is-your-calling/] 쥬빌리 코치 소개 | About Jubilee Coach 쥬빌리 코치는 개혁주의 칼빈주의 신학, 기독교 생애 코칭(ICF 기준), 그리고 IFS 치료 훈련을 바탕으로 한 Life Blog 및 팟캐스트입니다. 우리는 모든 사람이 창의적이고 자원이 풍부한 존재임을 믿습니다. Jubilee Coach is a Life Blog and podcast grounded in Reformed Christian theology, ICF-standard Christian life coaching, and IFS therapy training. We believe every person is creative, resourceful, and whole. 전체 블로그 (한국어 · 영어) | Full bilingual blog (Korean · English): [링크 추가 · https://www.jubileecoach.com/blog] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2601934/support]

유키즈 Interview with Jensen Huang

JUBILEE LIFE COACH: DAILY MEDITATIONS Season 1, Episode 84 "The Man Who Never Stopped Being Afraid" 성공해도 두렵다 Christian Worldview for Everyday | jubileecoach.com EPISODE DESCRIPTION One of the most successful men in the world wakes up afraid. Every single day. Jensen Huang — the CEO of Nvidia, the company that helped ignite the artificial intelligence revolution — has said that even now, leading a company worth trillions of dollars, he still carries the quiet dread of a man who knows how fragile everything is. "The phrase '30 days from going out of business' — I've used it for 33 years," he has said. "The feeling doesn't change. The sense of vulnerability, the sense of uncertainty — it doesn't leave you." In this episode, your Jubilee Coach reflects on a recent Korean television interview with Jensen Huang — and what his remarkable story quietly reveals about fear, resilience, character, and the limits of human willpower. Because here is the thing: Jensen Huang is not a man consumed by fear. He is a man formed by it. And the gospel has something to say about that. WHAT WE EXPLORE IN THIS EPISODE We follow Jensen Huang's story through four lenses: 1. The Question That Stopped the Room In the Korean TV interview, the host offered Jensen Huang a simple choice: perfect prediction of the future, or unbreakable resilience. Without hesitation, he chose resilience. His reason was quiet and clear — and it opens a window into how character is actually formed. 2. What Brené Brown Would Notice Researcher Brené Brown has spent decades studying vulnerability and courage. In Daring Greatly (2012), she argues that vulnerability is not weakness — it is our greatest measure of courage. Jensen Huang's story is a living illustration of exactly that. But it also reveals something Brown's research alone cannot fully answer. 3. The Kind of Fear There is an old saying among preachers: Fear God and you will not be afraid of anything else. Fear not God and you will be afraid of everything. Psalm 112 puts it beautifully: "Blessed is the man who fears the LORD... He will have no fear of bad news. His heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." Jensen Huang manages fear through will and character. That is admirable. But the gospel offers something better — not managing fear, but displacing it with a greater one. 4. What the Reformed Tradition Has Always Known The Scriptures do not promise a life free of adversity. They promise something far more useful. James 1:2–4 reminds us that the testing of faith produces perseverance — hypomoné in Greek — not passive resignation, but active, grounded endurance. David Powlison of CCEF observed that darkness, loss, and disillusionment are among the very means by which God shapes genuine faith. Jensen Huang does not share our faith. But what he has discovered empirically, the Reformed tradition has confessed theologically for centuries: suffering does not derail the story. It is often where the story really begins. KEY QUOTES "Intelligence is easy. Knowledge is easy. But character is hard. Resilience is hard. That can only be galvanized and shaped through life experience — giving yourself the opportunity to fail and come back." — Jensen Huang, Korean TV Interview (2025) "Blessed is the man who fears the LORD... He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." — Psalm 112:1, 7 (NIV) "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." — James 1:2–4 (NIV) JUBILEE COACH'S QUESTIONS May I close with a few questions? Not as assignments. Just as gentle invitations. Sit with the one that stirs something in you. 1. When you imagine the next hard season ahead, what is the first part of you that wants to take over — the planner, the protector, the one who just wants it to stop? What might that part need from you today? 2. Jensen Huang said he is "always at his best during the hardest times." Looking back, is there a difficult season in your past where something good was quietly being built? What did that season form in you? 3. If resilience can only be shaped through lived experience — not read about, not shortcut — what would it mean to stop waiting for the hard thing to be over, and begin paying attention to what it is teaching you right now? 4. The Reformed tradition speaks of God's sovereignty even in suffering. Does that feel like comfort to you right now, or does it feel like a theological idea you haven't quite inhabited yet? What would it look like to bring that honestly to God? 5. Jensen Huang has lived with fear for decades — managing it. Has there been a moment in your own life when the fear of the LORD actually displaced another fear? And if that still feels more like theology than experience, what do you think keeps it from moving from your head to your heart? RESOURCES MENTIONED * Source Video: Jensen Huang, Korean Television Interview (2025) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaB6J4jbBzg * Full Bilingual Blog (Korean & English): https://www.jubileecoach.com/post/interview-with-jensen-huang-젠슨-황-인터뷰 * Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. Gotham Books. * Powlison, D. (2017). How does sanctification work? Crossway. * Powlison, D. (n.d.). God is changing us — but how? CCEF. https://www.ccef.org/god-changing-us/ * Powlison, D. (2019). Suffering: A personal story [Video]. CCEF. https://www.ccef.org/video/suffering-personal-story/ ABOUT JUBILEE COACH Jubilee Coach is a Calvinist Christian Life Coach with a Doctor of Ministry degree in Christian Counseling and Spiritual Formation. Trained under ICF coaching standards and certified in IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy, Jubilee Coach brings together Reformed theology, professional coaching, and depth psychology to help people live examined, grounded, and faithful lives. As a 1.5 generation Korean American Christian, Jubilee Coach shares a distinctly bilingual worldview — rooted in the Reformed tradition, fluent in two cultures, and deeply committed to helping both Korean and English-speaking audiences think Christianly about everyday life. Jubilee Life Coach: Daily Meditations is a podcast for busy people who want more than a motivational word — people who want their faith to actually engage the world they live in. New episodes explore culture, psychology, theology, and the examined life — always through a Reformed Calvinist lens, always in two languages. CONNECT 🌐 jubileecoach.com 📺 Full bilingual blog: jubileecoach.com/post/interview-with-jensen-huang-젠슨-황-인터뷰 ▶️ Source video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaB6J4jbBzg Reformed faith for everyday life. © Jubilee Coach | Jubilee Life Coach: Daily Meditations | Season 1, Episode 84 Calvinist Christian Life Coaching · ICF Standards · IFS Therapy Training Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2601934/support]

When the Church Looks More Like Corinth 1 Corinthians 5

Open your Bible to 1 Corinthians chapter 5. A man in the Corinthian church is in a sexual relationship with his stepmother. Paul says even the pagans around them found this shocking — Roman law actually prohibited it. The church knew. And they had done nothing. If anything, they seemed proud of their restraint. Paul says: "Shouldn't you rather have gone into mourning?" (1 Corinthians 5:2, NIV) Somewhere along the way, the Corinthians had mistaken silence for grace. Paul sees it as something else — not sophistication, but a failure of love. The Problem. The church was puffed up. The same pride that drove their theological factions had now shown up in their moral passivity. They had a name for it — grace, tolerance, not judging. Paul had a different name for it. There is a difference between genuine grace toward sinners and a silence that leaves people undisturbed in patterns that are hurting them. The Purpose. Paul calls the church to remove the man from fellowship. That sounds severe — until you read the reason: "that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord." (1 Corinthians 5:5, NIV) The goal is not punishment. The goal is restoration. And if you read 2 Corinthians, you find it worked. The man repented. Paul then urged the church to welcome him back warmly. But Paul doesn't stop at discipline. Right in the middle of these instructions, he breaks into Gospel: "Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch — as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed." (1 Corinthians 5:7, NIV) As you really are. Not: become holy so God will accept you. Rather: you already are a freed people — now live like it. Christ is the Passover Lamb. The sacrifice has been made. The deliverance is done. Holiness flows from that reality, not toward it. The Parameters. Paul closes with a clarification. He is not asking the church to avoid immoral people in the world — you would have to leave the planet. The church is called to be fully present in the world, bringing the Gospel to people in all their complexity. What he is describing is something more specific — the integrity of the covenant community itself. When someone claims to follow Christ but shows no interest in what that actually means, the community's silence is not neutral. It sends a message. Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed. The old leaven can be purged because the feast has already begun. Here are three questions to sit with — from Coach Brian: The Problem invites us to ask: is there something in your life you have quietly made peace with, that deserves a more honest look? The Purpose invites us to ask: when someone has cared enough to tell you something hard, what made it possible — or difficult — to receive? The Parameters invites us to ask: what shifts when holiness begins with what God has already done, rather than what you still need to do? Take those with you into your day. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2601934/support]