Long Distance, Bit Weird

E29: Keith Richards' 1977 Toronto Drug Bust

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner [https://www.instagram.com/soozkempner/] and Michael Balazo [https://www.instagram.com/mbalazo/]. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week, Michael tells Sooz the bizarre story of Keith Richards' 1977 arrest for heroin possession in Toronto. Facing up to seven years in Canadian prison, Keith's troubles could have ended the Rolling Stones... until a fan's intervention convinced a judge to free Keith, and led to the "Satisfaction" rockers playing two charity concerts in Oshawa, Ontario for the Canadian National Institute for the Blind. Plus, did Ronnie Wood hug and kiss Margaret Trudeau? Listen to find out all the latest gossip! ALSO: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." --- If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** ANNOUNCEMENT ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS - Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for on Bandcamp now! [https://michaelbalazo.bandcamp.com/album/pizza-pals] And be sure to check out the video for Michael's smash hit Canadian World Cup 2026 anthem "Canada is Balls." [https://youtu.be/SG6PsuYXkDI?si=c-dEYzP4KsAm972s]   SHOWS! See Sooz in Grayson the Musical - July 16-19 - Soho Theatre Walthamstow TICKETS [https://sohotheatre.com/events/grayson-the-musical/] July 2nd - Sooz at Hamlet Comedy Club @ Dulwich FC, London TICKETS [https://hamletcomedy.co.uk/#NEXTGIG] July 12th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS [https://www.vauxhalltavern.com/whats-on/] See Sooz's new show "Imposter" at the Edinburgh Fringe, August 15-23. TICKETS [https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/sooz-kempner-imposter]

E28: Oasis vs Blur - The Battle of Britpop

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner [https://www.instagram.com/soozkempner/] and Michael Balazo [https://www.instagram.com/mbalazo/]. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Oasis. Blur. Dodgy. Who were the true winners of the so-called Battle of Britpop that rocked the UK in August of 1995?* This week, Sooz tells Michael about the time that Oasis and Blur released pop singles on the very same day. It's a story fuelled by cigarettes, alcohol and countless swears. So, whether you prefer Roll With It or Country House, this week's episode is guaranteed to make you "mad fer it." PLUS: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." * Dodgy were the winners --- If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** ANNOUNCEMENT ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS - Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for on Bandcamp now! [https://michaelbalazo.bandcamp.com/album/pizza-pals] And be sure to check out the video for Michael's smash hit Canadian World Cup 2026 anthem "Canada is Balls." [https://youtu.be/SG6PsuYXkDI?si=c-dEYzP4KsAm972s]   SHOWS! See Sooz in Grayson the Musical - July 16-19 - Soho Theatre Walthamstow TICKETS [https://sohotheatre.com/events/grayson-the-musical/] June 28th - Sooz Kempner - IMPOSTER WIP @ Chippenham Comedy Fest TICKETS [https://www.chippenhamcomedy.co.uk/festival-2026] July 2nd - Sooz at Hamlet Comedy Club @ Dulwich FC, London TICKETS [https://hamletcomedy.co.uk/#NEXTGIG] July 12th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS [https://www.vauxhalltavern.com/whats-on/]

*PREVIEW* Bonus Ep.08 - More Metro Sex Columns

In this bonus episode, Sooz and Michael are taking a look at the weirdly unerotic Metro sex columns, available in London's favourite free newspaper. This is just a preview of course. To hear the full episode and gain access to all of our exclusive content please head to our Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/longdistancebitweird]. Thanks! *** ANNOUNCEMENT ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS - Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for on Bandcamp now! [https://michaelbalazo.bandcamp.com/album/pizza-pals] And be sure to check out the video for Michael's smash hit Canadian World Cup 2026 anthem "Canada is Balls." [https://youtu.be/SG6PsuYXkDI?si=c-dEYzP4KsAm972s] SHOWS! See Sooz in Grayson the Musical - July 16-19 - Soho Theatre Walthamstow TICKETS [https://sohotheatre.com/events/grayson-the-musical/] June 24 - Michael Balazo performing at HELL: A Standup Comedy Show - Comedy Bar, Toronto TICKETS  [https://comedybar.ca/shows/hell-a-stand-up-comedy-show-hosted-by-chris-locke?ev=2026-06-24T21%3A30%3A00] June 28th - Sooz Kempner - IMPOSTER WIP @ Chippenham Comedy Fest TICKETS [https://www.chippenhamcomedy.co.uk/festival-2026] July 2nd - Sooz at Hamlet Comedy Club @ Dulwich FC, London TICKETS [https://hamletcomedy.co.uk/#NEXTGIG]

E27: Sooz and Michael LIVE from Sooz's Couch!

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner [https://www.instagram.com/soozkempner/] and Michael Balazo [https://www.instagram.com/mbalazo/]. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week Sooz and Michael are together on one of the nicest couches in Britain! You won't believe your ears as they recount their exciting week together, featuring everything from slugs to surprise parties to England's triumphant World Cup opening game. It's going home. PLUS: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," featuring authentic steamy footage of Margaret Thatcher and Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet! *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** ANNOUNCEMENT ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS - Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for on Bandcamp now! [https://michaelbalazo.bandcamp.com/album/pizza-pals] And be sure to check out the video for Michael's smash hit Canadian World Cup 2026 anthem "Canada is Balls." [https://youtu.be/SG6PsuYXkDI?si=c-dEYzP4KsAm972s]   SHOWS! See Sooz in Grayson the Musical - July 16-19 - Soho Theatre Walthamstow TICKETS [https://sohotheatre.com/events/grayson-the-musical/] June 24 - Michael Balazo performing at HELL: A Standup Comedy Show - Comedy Bar, Toronto TICKETS  [https://comedybar.ca/shows/hell-a-stand-up-comedy-show-hosted-by-chris-locke?ev=2026-06-24T21%3A30%3A00] June 28th - Sooz Kempner - IMPOSTER WIP @ Chippenham Comedy Fest TICKETS [https://www.chippenhamcomedy.co.uk/festival-2026] July 2nd - Sooz at Hamlet Comedy Club @ Dulwich FC, London TICKETS [https://hamletcomedy.co.uk/#NEXTGIG]

E26: Vindaloo is Coming Home - The Story of England's Immortal Football Anthem

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner [https://www.instagram.com/soozkempner/] and Michael Balazo [https://www.instagram.com/mbalazo/]. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. OK. This week Sooz tells Michael the unbelievable story of England's immortal football anthem Three Lions. How did it happen? Why is it so suffused with melancholy? Will the guys ever record a new version? And what is Vindaloo? Listen to find out! But first: Michael reports on Toronto's World Cup fever; Sooz triumphs on the stage; PLUS: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon [https://www.patreon.com/cw/LongDistanceBitWeird]. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** ANNOUNCEMENT On June 16, Michael Balazo is releasing his much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals". Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for pre-order on Bandcamp now! [https://michaelbalazo.bandcamp.com/album/pizza-pals]   And be sure to check out the video for Michael's smash hit Canadian World Cup 2026 anthem "Canada is Balls." [https://youtu.be/SG6PsuYXkDI?si=c-dEYzP4KsAm972s]   SHOWS! See Sooz in Grayson the Musical - July 16-19 - Soho Theatre Walthamstow - TICKETS [https://sohotheatre.com/events/grayson-the-musical/] June 14th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS [https://www.vauxhalltavern.com/whats-on/] June 28th - Sooz Kempner - IMPOSTER WIP @ Chippenham Comedy Fest TICKETS [https://www.chippenhamcomedy.co.uk/festival-2026] July 2nd - Sooz at Hamlet Comedy Club @ Dulwich FC, London TICKETS [https://hamletcomedy.co.uk/#NEXTGIG]