Midlife Momentum

When Growing Means Letting Go

Two weeks ago, I started a new role at PetPlace, and it's been incredible. The responsibility, the challenge, the potential for growth. Everything I'd hoped for. But there's been an unexpected side effect. I can feel myself getting close to burnout. This isn't your typical "I'm working too many hours" burnout. It's more subtle than that. As an individual contributor with emerging product owner responsibilities and potential management duties, my brain is being pushed to new limits every day. By the time I close my laptop, I'm mentally exhausted in a way I haven't experienced in years. The ripple effects have been immediate. I've been out of ketosis for three weeks despite sticking to my keto diet. Stress has a way of messing with even our best plans. My daily practices are still intact, but barely. And this newsletter has shifted into what I can only call "maintenance mode." I'm still hitting publish every Tuesday morning, but that's about it. The community engagement, the promotional work, and the thoughtful responses to your comments. All of it has fallen by the wayside. I'm going through the motions, but the energy that made this newsletter valuable simply isn't there anymore. Even in maintenance mode, this newsletter still demands significant mental bandwidth. There's the pressure to find a meaningful insight each week, the expectation to mine my personal development work for publishable content, and the feeling that I should be doing more to grow this community. It's become a weight I carry rather than something I enjoy. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! This post is public so feel free to share it. The Garden Lesson This morning, during a tarot session, something clicked for me. My life over the past few months has been like a gardening season, and I've been thinking about it all wrong. In spring, any good gardener plants more seeds than they expect to harvest. You plant extra because you know some won't grow, others will struggle, and some might get eaten by pests. It's a numbers game at first. But here's the part I forgot about. Once things start growing, successful gardening requires making tough choices. You can't let every plant that sprouts continue to grow. If you do, they'll compete for the same nutrients, water, and sunlight. What you'll end up with is a garden full of weak, struggling plants instead of a few that actually thrive. Sometimes you have to pull up perfectly healthy plants. Not because they're bad, but because letting them continue will prevent something more important from growing strong. The newsletter was one of those spring plantings. It served as accountability. A way to make sure I showed up to my personal development work every day because I knew I'd be writing about it. It was like training wheels for building daily practices. And it worked really well. But now I have those daily practices. The training wheels did their job, and keeping them on is actually holding me back. The mental energy I'm spending on this newsletter, even at the bare minimum level, is energy that needs to go toward my new role at PetPlace. This isn't about failure or giving up. It's about recognizing when something has served its purpose and being smart enough to let it go so something else can thrive. Making Space to Thrive So I'm pausing this newsletter. This decision isn't easy. Over the past three months, this weekly practice has been a catalyst for big changes in my life. The daily journaling, the self-reflection, the accountability. All of it helped me land this new role and build the foundation for what comes next. But if I've learned anything about personal growth, it's that holding onto what got you here can prevent you from getting to where you need to go next. Right now, I need to give my full attention to my new responsibilities, to fixing other areas of my life that have slipped into maintenance mode, and to finishing the projects that are draining my energy instead of giving me energy. I'm not shutting down completely. I'll still be working on personal projects, still journaling daily, still growing. But I need to create space for what's actually right for this season of my life. Thank you for being part of this journey. If you've found value in these weekly thoughts, I encourage you to start your own practice of regular self-reflection. The real growth happens in the daily work, not in the weekly recap. If there's anything I can help you with as you navigate your own seasons of growth and tough choices, please reach out. Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is step back from what we've been doing so we can be fully present for what we're supposed to do next. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit andrewshell.substack.com [https://andrewshell.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

When Everything Important Becomes Nothing Important

At my last job, I could literally go days without accomplishing anything significant. I'd wake up with the best intentions, but then I'd open my computer and immediately feel overwhelmed by everything I needed to do. So, instead of tackling any of it, I'd escape into a game like Hogwarts Legacy or binge the Lord of the Rings extended cuts. Days would disappear. Other times, I'd be "productive," but I would work on completely the wrong things. I'd spend three days redesigning my personal website while my actual work deadlines piled up. Or I'd dive deep into a side project and suddenly realize I hadn't touched my main responsibilities all week. The problem wasn't laziness. At one point, I did a brain dump of everything I was working on. I had over 40 things on that list. Everything felt important. Everything felt urgent. So my brain just... froze. This overwhelm-to-paralysis cycle is a real struggle for me. When too many priorities compete for attention at once, I shut down completely. It's like my nervous system hits the emergency brake rather than risk making the wrong choice. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Time Blocks as Brain Extensions I've been thinking about this differently lately. Time blocking isn't just about organization. It's externalizing cognitive load. Instead of trying to juggle 40 competing priorities, I can put most of that decision-making onto my calendar. The "what should I work on right now" question gets answered during planning time, not in the moment when I'm already overwhelmed. This is why I'm experimenting with category-based time blocks. Rather than scheduling specific tasks, I'm scheduling types of work. Here's what I'm planning: * Four-hour blocks every workday for PetPlace deep work * Several two-hour blocks for important side projects like building my friend's new website theme * Additional blocks every week for learning, like the iCanStudy or Project 369 courses I'm enrolled in * Blocks for my daily journaling and weekly newsletter writing The goal isn't just to get organized. It's to make sure the urgent doesn't completely drown out the important. Right now, I have a tendency to hyperfocus on one thing and let everything else fall through the cracks. If I get absorbed in coding for PetPlace, I might forget about Monica's website deadline. If I spend all day on a side project, I feel guilty about not doing my main work. Category blocks create boundaries. They gave me permission to focus completely on courses, knowing I'd already completed my daily PetPlace work. And they create urgency, too. If I only have two hours before work for Substack, I need to stay on task so I can tackle my other priorities during the day. I'm also treating my time allocation as an experiment. Maybe two hours is too long to focus on a course, and I need to split it up. Maybe one hour isn't enough for daily writing, and I need two blocks instead. The beauty is I don't have to get it perfect immediately. I can adjust based on what actually happens. Structure as Prevention The structure isn't just about being more productive. It's about preventing the complete breakdown I experienced in my story. Most of my past dysfunction came from overwhelm. Too many open loops competing for attention. No clear way to decide what deserved my focus. So I'd either freeze up completely or work frantically on the wrong things. Category blocks solve both problems. They reduce the cognitive load by making decisions ahead of time. They also ensure that my actual priorities are protected instead of being pushed aside by whatever feels most urgent at the moment. Here's what I'm taking away from this experiment so far: Your brain can only hold so many priorities before it shuts down. When everything feels important, nothing gets the attention it deserves. Time blocking isn't about rigid scheduling. It's about creating a system that makes decisions for you when you're too overwhelmed to think clearly. The structure prevents burnout better than it fixes burnout. What's one area of your life where you keep meaning to make progress, but it always gets pushed aside by more urgent things? Maybe it's time to dedicate a block to your calendar. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! This post is public, so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit andrewshell.substack.com [https://andrewshell.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Secret To Better Parenting Is Being Nearby, Not Being Perfect

“Hey Dad, do you want to hear some popular music?” I looked up from my phone. My daughter was sitting next to me on the couch, already queuing up her favorite songs. Then she jumped up and started showing me the dances she’d learned from YouTube. It was spontaneous and surprisingly sweet. And it never would’ve happened if I’d been in my office like I usually am. I wasn’t doing anything special. I was just nearby. And that made all the difference. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. The Power of Just Being There That little moment stuck with me. Because I was there, the connection had space to happen. We often think parenting is about planning activities or teaching lessons. But some of the best moments can’t be scheduled. They show up when you’re within reach. It turns out that presence doesn’t always mean engagement. Sometimes it’s just physically being there. When I’m in my office, I miss those chances. When I’m on the couch, even doing my own thing, I give those moments a chance to find me. That’s what I’m trying to do more of. Be around. Be close. Be available. Make Room for Connection This isn’t about planning more activities. It’s about being around more. Not hovering. Not performing. Just staying within reach. Sit on the couch. Work in the same room. Some of the best moments happen when you’re nearby. You don’t need to be entertaining. You just need to be there. That’s enough to change everything. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit andrewshell.substack.com [https://andrewshell.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

How I Discovered the Most Important Parts of My Life Never Made It to My Journal

It’s 5:30 a.m. My house is still. My mind isn’t. Every morning before my daughter wakes up, I pull a tarot card and ask ChatGPT to give me an inspired journal prompt. I spend time mining my subconscious, bringing thoughts and feelings that had been buried to the surface. But what if the most important parts of your life never make it into your journal? A few weeks ago, ChatGPT analyzed a week of my journals and uncovered seven big open loops [https://andrewshell.substack.com/p/i-didnt-realize-growth-could-leave] I wrestled with daily. Topics like expressing vulnerability, my professional identity, and, of course, my fixed mindset [https://andrewshell.substack.com/p/why-i-avoid-tracking-and-why-i-need]. So, this week I asked ChatGPT to identify what areas I wasn’t writing about. Areas like parenting, quality of life, and my life vision were absent from my journal. It turns out, I’d been missing the parts that matter most. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Quiet Wheels Need Oil Too Growth doesn’t just come from solving urgent problems. One question that ChatGPT asked me was, “What role does my environment (home, workspace, routines) play in my energy and creativity?” Two years ago, when I moved into my home, I had a panic attack. I left a clean, well-organized apartment and moved into a “fixer-upper.” It didn’t occur to me that even though I’ve made a ton of progress, the chaos surrounding my house still weighs on me. A lot. Now, I’m thinking about what I could do to make my home a calmer, more relaxing place. This is especially important since I’ll be working fully remotely once again next week. What can I do in my office to optimize it so that I can do my best work? What Are You Not Looking At? Take a moment and ask yourself, “What parts of my life haven’t had a voice lately?” What’s been steady, quiet, or easy to overlook? Make space for what isn’t urgent. That quiet part of your life might be the key to real momentum. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit andrewshell.substack.com [https://andrewshell.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

I Just Quit My Job of 5 Years — And I'm Terrified

The part of me that needs to look smart is panicking. The rest of me is trying to breathe. I just quit a job I held for over five years—and I'm walking into something I don’t feel fully ready for. I'm changing jobs. After 5.5 years at Johnson Health Tech, my last day will be May 13th. I accepted an offer at PetPlace, a new team building software for pet shelters. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Starting Over (or) A New Chapter I keep telling myself I’m excited. But if I’m honest? I’m terrified. I’ll get to help build something meaningful from the ground up. But in many ways, I’m starting over. I've built and shipped production apps, co-founded a startup, and launched multiple SaaS products. But React has never been at the core of those builds. Now I am stepping into a role where it is the foundation. That makes me feel like a beginner again. The fear I feel, I now know, is coming from my fixed mindset. I’ve been noticing this fixed mindset show up everywhere lately. It has been surprising to see how deep it runs. Quietly shaping the way I think, the way I react, the way I avoid risk. The smart kid in me wants people to see me as someone who achieves things effortlessly. If I'm smart, I shouldn't have to try hard, it should come naturally. That belief has kept me playing small for a long time. After accepting the job and putting in my notice I felt panic. I felt the urge to plan, to figure out what I have to do in the next two weeks to prepare for the first day on the job. Fortunately I spotted the fixed mindset rearing it's ugly head. I know that I'll be using React, React Router, and most likely Express on the backend. However, there are many unknowns. There is no actual way for me to be fully prepared for my first day. I will have to show up as I am, do my best, and identify my gaps, every day, on the job. ~ Breathe. ~ Fortunately, I can say that I interviewed with complete integrity. I was fully transparent about my skills, my strengths, and weaknesses. My second interview was pushed back by a week because the engineering director wanted to meet other candidates before moving forward with me, specifically because I lacked recent experience with their specific tech stack. They still offered me the position. I am enough. I have something that they want. ~ Breathe. ~ Integration in Real Life This weekend I spent three days in Minneapolis. I did not study, I did not work on courses from my hotel room, I did not binge audiobooks during each 4 hour drive. I had fun. I explored bookstores, I attended Minnebar, I met up with friends and my niece. This shouldn't be difficult, but it is. This is part of integration. This is applying what I've learned to my daily life. I'm practicing things that do not come easily to me. I'm doing the work. Thanks for reading Midlife Momentum! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit andrewshell.substack.com [https://andrewshell.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]