Musings Podcast

Read Between the Covers

I had the profound honour of being invited to converse with the very keen mind of Mfundo Mpepuka [https://substack.com/profile/431601833-mfundo-mpepuka] on his podcast Read Between the Covers about some of what is preoccupying me at the moment. In this conversation we reflect on African cinema, ancestral presence, elemental world-making and forms of knowledge that survive despite attempts to erase them. So much gratitude to my magnificent supervisor Prof Lize Van Robbroeck [https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=C2M4rY8AAAAJ&hl=en] who set me on this path with her life changing course on New Materialisms. And my work wife Prof Stella Viljoen [https://researcherprofiles.sun.ac.za/11741-stella-viljoen] for gifting me carte blanche over many years to follow my creative impulses in the classroom, first at the University of Pretoria and now for many years at Stellenbosch University. This semester’s debut post-grad course on Afropresentism [https://www.findingneema.online/afropresentism] has been a particularly nourishing joy. Our beautiful book, Burning Down the House [https://charisselouw.substack.com/p/spring-things?r=1ri2vx], is available here [https://karavanpress.com/2025/08/20/karavan-press-title-burning-down-the-house-a-feminist-appraisal-of-space-edited-by-mbali-mazibuko-shakeelah-ismail-charisse-louw-ijeoma-chidi-opara-stella-viljoen/]. Thanks to all my beloved students for their keen curiosity — it’s all for you. The conversation is available on:🔗Apple Podcasts: https://lnkd.in/dqXqMEq8 [https://www.linkedin.com/safety/go/?url=https%3A%2F%2Flnkd%2Ein%2FdqXqMEq8&urlhash=A5An&mt=4ITsVEtq4TunQEll7z6jUQoDQH1Tu5uOEbk1YhVkapfiFsY_J8ol_gt6fqnH_MfaIEeTwnIRZYndDsl6riHTykq75161wzKdsTv172fpuZ0ODbe6qooYqfYT-Q&isSdui=true]🔗Spotify: https://lnkd.in/dKMVRJ_e [https://www.linkedin.com/safety/go/?url=https%3A%2F%2Flnkd%2Ein%2FdKMVRJ_e&urlhash=LqI4&mt=_9LyP5vpCwnsm6EErVIl9V7ZHrLELBA8WVFzHFZfa-eSg5ukbPgvsai6gqCwRda-94zqjnbTr2w9RbUsyJKf2vnwiPnDBGjRNKJbDVJqSYRc5CZV_GyOLFwcNw&isSdui=true]🔗RSS Feed: https://lnkd.in/daVGGHA4 [https://www.linkedin.com/safety/go/?url=https%3A%2F%2Flnkd%2Ein%2FdaVGGHA4&urlhash=gguJ&mt=T-IVTim07KlX9E5HjNFU4E-BgNu-rvny-t6DnPeEZAyjJjz_adaLMMAkQkTrQ4lok1Jh4aP8Q-wNnMYG9Vgrw5EJ9WYPvo5p1ZH9JvkDP-U8ej1xYSGri88ZgQ&isSdui=true] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit charisselouw.substack.com [https://charisselouw.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Menopause We Didn’t Know Existed

At 38, menopause arrived in my life like a crazy cyclone I didn’t yet have a name for. I thought I was losing my mind — panic attacks, sleepless nights, wild anxiety —except none of it was ‘in my head.’ My body was speaking in a new dialect I had never been taught to understand. No one had prepared me for this particular curriculum of becoming. It was as though every fault-line in my life lit up at once, a crackling map of grief and transformation. Thanks for reading Musings! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. While medical professionals are trying their best and research is finally being done, they don’t really have the language for it either. So I found my own: through endless solitary hikes, journaling, meditation, and basically cracking open over and over again. Through rupture and revelation, a slow remembering took place… that my body is not a machine but kin. Early menopause didn’t end me. But it definitely rewrote me. This conversation is part confession, part guide. A way of making public what so many women endure privately. Because silence nearly cost me my life and it has cost generations of us more than we know. Welcome to the conversation we were never invited into, but desperately need. The Silence Around Menopause is Loud We inherit silence. Our mothers whispered it; our grandmothers swallowed it. Menopause became the punchline to a joke shaped by patriarchy. It’s the moment (which isn’t a moment but a years long process) that a woman becomes less desirable, less fertile…less useful. In the biomedical gaze, menopause marks a ‘decline.’ But the truth is more complicated.And far more mystical. Feminist new materialists like Karen Barad remind us that bodies are not fixed entities— they are intra-active, continually becoming in relation to the world. Rosi Braidotti calls midlife a ‘threshold of new subjectivity,’ a point of intense generativity. Indigenous cosmologies treat life transitions as portals, rather than failures. Menopause is not an ending, but a crossing. A shift in rhythm and a rearranging of the internal weather.It rewires perception, intuition, and truth. The Symptoms No One Talks About Before my cycle changed, my mind changed. The panic was wild, anxiety feral and insomnia an endless trial. Later I would learn these were hormonal surges — nighttime cortisol spikes, estrogen fluctuations — but at the time, it felt like an unravelling without a witness. Research shows: * Emotional and psychological symptoms often appear years before physical ones. * Early menopause affects 1 in 100 women globally. * Many women are misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression for years. * Women of colour face added layers of weathering— the cumulative impact of racism, trauma, and generational stress. My body wasn’t betraying me.It was alerting me. But without language, we often interpret these signals as failure instead of initiation. Myths We Must Release Here are the myths I’m burning down: Myth 1: Menopause is just hot flashes There are over 30 documented symptoms, including intense emotional, cognitive, and sensory ones. Myth 2: It only happens around 50 Perimenopause often begins in your late 30s, and early menopause is real. Myth 3: Menopause = decline Anthropologist Kristen Hawkes suggests post-menopausal women were evolutionarily central to human survival. Many women feel more creative, courageous, and purposeful after the shift. I’ve come to embrace the Crone archetype, not as a caricature of age, but as a rebellion against the capitalist anti-aging machine that feeds on our insecurities. Myth 4: Hormones tell the whole story Menopause is a biopsychosocial-spiritual transition.Trauma, race, stress, environment, ancestry… all shape the experience. Menopause as Portal Menopause forced me into a different relationship with my body ~ less control, more curiosity; less pushing, more listening; less performance, more presence. Qigong, yoga, and mindful movement weren’t supplements to my life, they became survival strategies. Evidence-based, yes, but also deeply intuitive. The kind of knowledge our great-grandmothers would recognise. Bayo Akomolafe writes, ‘The cracks are not where things break down, but where the world leaks through.’ Menopause cracked me open. And through the fissures came clarity, courage, and an unflinching honesty I had long postponed. What Helped (and Might Help You Too) From both research and lived experience: Movement – Qigong, yoga, walking, dancing, shaking out the stucknessMindfulness – breathwork, sleep hygiene, slowing the nervous systemCreativity – journaling, art-making, voice reclamationCommunity – shame-free circles, women speaking openly, daily validationInformation – accurate, non-fear-based, not just HRT-centricSpiritual frameworks – rites of passage, thresholds, archetypes, ancestors This transition asks us to stop asking,What’s wrong with me?and start asking,What is my body trying to teach me? What Women Need Most Evidence shows that community support dramatically reduces symptom burden. We need spaces without judgment, representation for younger women in menopause, alternatives for those who can’t or don’t want HRT; cultural, spiritual, and embodied interpretations; honesty, softness, and sisterhood. The ‘good girl’ persona doesn’t survive menopause.And that’s a blessing. If Menopause Could Speak… She would say every so gently: Slow down.Listen.Shed what no longer serves.Even if that means shedding entire personas. You are not ending.Rather becoming… again, and again, and again. Be humble in the face of this transformation.Be in awe of your own turning. An Invitation This is a beginning. A way to break the inherited silence and make meaning together.Let’s hold this transition as a sacred, embodied shift,not a pathology or a decline, but a powerful re-becoming. If you’ve moved through menopause, are moving through it, or suspect you’re standing at the threshold ~ You are not alone.Your story matters.Let’s un-silence and honour it. Thanks for reading Musings! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit charisselouw.substack.com [https://charisselouw.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

This is not a Burial

This Is Not a Burial, It’s a Resurrection begins with a grave and ends with refusal. I was invited to give this lecture by the lovely Prof Nick J Fox of the BSA New Materialisms Study Group [https://www.britsoc.co.uk/events/key-bsa-events/materiality-society-and-the-more-than-human-this-is-not-a-burial-griefwork-through-film-and-flesh-workshop/], in collaboration with the BSA Death, Dying and Bereavement Study Group, and the Centre for Sociodigital Futures at Bristol University, with very special thanks to my fairy godmother Debbie Watson. Let’s explore grief not as pathology, but as a methodology. A way of knowing-with the dead, the land, and the more-than-human world. Thanks for reading Musings! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Through Lemohang Jeremiah Mosese’s haunting 2019 film, I trace how African cosmologies, New Materialisms, and somatic practice converge to form what I call a Zombie Methodology — an embodied, relational, affective response to collapse. Mantoa, the film’s 80-year-old protagonist, prepares for death only to discover her village will be drowned by a dam. The graves of her ancestors, the umbilical cords buried in the soil, memory of kinship… all face erasure. Her grief becomes a form of governance, a refusal to let the living or the dead be dispossessed. In Sesotho thought, seriti is the life-force, the invisible vitality that connects humans, minerals, ancestors, and soil in vibrational coexistence. As Mary Twala’s luminous performance reminds us, grief is not inert. It is a somatic relation. A threshold between body and world. Drawing on thinkers such as Nina Lykke, Sophie Strand, and Bayo Akomolafe, I explore grief as vibrant, composting, generative. It opens the secure and the settled, inviting us to live-with ruin rather than rush toward repair. As Akomolafe writes, “Grief is generative. She opens up things that were once bound up and secure… and therefore facilitates change.” This lecture sits within a larger research project on African cinema, new materialisms, and Indigenous epistemologies. Together, they suggest that mourning can be a method, one that resists the “god of progress,” honours the dead as active matter, and reworlds from the ruins. Please join the upcoming workshop (27 Oct, 4pm SAST, online). Free but registration [https://britsoc.co.uk/events/key-bsa-events/materiality-society-and-the-more-than-human-this-is-not-a-burial-griefwork-through-film-and-flesh-workshop/]required. If this resonated, share it or leave a reflection below. Your grief and your body is an archive. Together, we might compost something new. Thanks for reading Musings! This post is public so feel free to share it. PS If this tickles your fancy come along to a scintillating discussion on Afropositivism and Digital Culture at Woordfees [https://woordfees.co.za/en/program/ongehoord-digitale-kultuur-afro-optimisme/], Thursday 16 October at 9:30am. Free, so just rock up at the lovely Oude Leeskamer [https://oudeleeskamer.org/] in Stellenbosch. I’m also very delighted to be part of this Afro-presentist Assembly on Tuesday 28 October at 1pm… rsvp to graduateschool@sun.ac.za — Free, online and irl … with lunch… who said there’s no such thing as a free lunch? And let’s not forget a chance to hang out with the tremendously cool contributors of Burning Down the House [https://booklounge.co.za/product/burning-down-the-house/] at the Book Lounge Book Club on Wednesday 29 October at 5:30pm. See you there! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit charisselouw.substack.com [https://charisselouw.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

River of Feelings

Two weeks ago I was finishing the five day Outeniqua Trail in the dense forests of South Africa’s Garden Route. Outeniqua is one of those musical words that has persisted from the original humans that were part of this lush landscape. It means ‘those who bear honey.’ A week prior I was overlooking the Valley of Desolation in the Karoo which the KhoiSan called Camdeboo…‘green pool.’ Thanks for reading Musings! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding — John O'Donohue Where the colonial settlers saw absence (a valley of desolation) the first people saw bounty (green pools). The gifts of our natural world are honoured in these original names — a smidgen of green in a dry place, the bee’s liquid gold prior to the gold rush that brought prospectors flocking from around the globe to our first night on the trail, Millwood. The beautiful old house we slept in was built for an early forester. These wild tangled primeval forests still ring with scars of ‘Timber!’ and ‘Gold!’ haunted by a lonely ellie or two, where once there were oh so many. I laid my hand on the mossy massive trunk of an Outeniqua Yellowwood, it’s crown hidden from view high above my head, and whispered: ‘Thank you for being bigger than us.’ Back in Plett I held my granny’s hand for the last time, while stroking her silver hair, she whispered: ‘I’m ready to let go.’ I am rooted but I flow — Virginia Woolf In the misty rolling green hills of Kwa-Zulu Natal, by grace, there was a profound letting go of the many stresses and anxieties of 2024, while gently being held by the Buddhist Retreat Centre [https://charisselouw.substack.com/p/natural-grace-effortless-joy]. After splashing in the warmth of Umdloti’s sea, I emerged salty, to find a blue candle washed up on those brown sugar sands…the very one that had been promised me in my Medicine Woman card, pulled at the close of our BRC retreat. The energy of Yemaya, Spirit of Water, Mother of us All, ushered in the next retreat at Sashwa [https://sashwa.org/]in the Greater Kruger National Park. A Woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and only herself – Maya Angelou Yemaya is the Water spirit of the Yoruba in West Africa. She is celebrated throughout the diaspora as mother of all. And so we began our retreat by singing and dancing around a fire on the banks of the Olifants River. Yemaya assessu; Assessu YemayaYemaya Olodo; Olodo Yemaya A literal translation from the Yoruba language would be: Yemanja is the Gush of the Spring.The Gush of the Spring is Yemanja.The Mother of the Children of Fishes is the Owner of Rivers. This chant celebrates the joining of river to sea, that longed for union where part becomes whole. The drop realises it is the ocean. I floated in Sashwa’s heavenly salt pool watching elephant families frolic in the waters named for them, although the Olifants River is also known as Lepelle (slow flowing) or iBhalule (long stretched out one) by the BaPedi people who have lived here for 600 years. She enters the Indian Ocean at Xai Xai in Mozambique. No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man — Heraclitus Together we walked in the bush and came across many wonders — from the caterpillars that only live on the carpets of squill lillies, to an African Rock Python slumbering on the banks of our river. Darling Storm was our guide to paying close attention to, as was her refrain, Mama. When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy — Jalal ad-Din Muhammad ar-Rumi We practiced Qi Gong beneath the shade of a Jackalberry and meditated on an ancient koppie. We listened deeply to one another and to the natural world. Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day — A.A. Milne Our art making and game drives, our gentle yoga practices and song circles, all brought us deeper into peaceful presence. Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong – Lao Tzu We ate the most delicious vegan cuisine, and were treated with the utmost kindness by our hosts. Darling Sadia gifted us a boogie beneath the stars. And her gorgeous girls. Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire— Jorge Luis Borges By the time my family came to collect me I was deeply surrendered to Bush time. The heat was quite a force to contend with, indeed it demanded full surrender. We spent a week travelling through Kruger appreciating the Little Five (or more) as much as the lions with their giraffe kill, the packs of frisky wild dogs and hippos groaning in the scorching midday sun. When it’s 48 degrees the requirement is slowing down. May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children — Rainer Maria Rilke Our next stop was Golden Gate National Park where we sat in ancient caves and enjoyed the coolth of thunderstorms and more than one night in just one place. We met up with my parents in Nieu-Bethesda and soaked up that particular dusty charm before our family Christmas in Plettenberg Bay. Said the river: imagine everything you can imagine, then keep on going— Mary Oliver A new year is upon us. Last week we honoured my dear grandpa [http://charisselouw.blogspot.com/2021/03/only-love-ike-edwina.html]’s birthday, four years since he departed and I felt his shadow fall on me in the Karoo. And my gran [http://charisselouw.blogspot.com/2020/08/time-on-my-mind.html]’s last breath just yesterday. The fires rage in my erstwhile home of California, but here in the Cape things are relatively calm on the precipice of a new school year, my daughter’s last. I give thanks for moments of peaceful presence. May we allow all things to move through us. Deeply honouring our course as it unfolds. Take hold of your own life. See that the whole existence is celebrating. These trees are not serious, these birds are not serious. The rivers and the oceans are wild, and everywhere there is fun, everywhere there is joy and delight. Watch existence, listen to the existence and become part of it. — Osho You can join me for Qi Gong on the Noordhoek Common in Cape Town Saturdays at 8:30am. Any donations will go to a local charity, since I offer this as community sewa (selfless service). We can rotate monthly through the local NPOs who offer so much to so many. Starting with Masicorp [https://www.masicorp.org/]who are busy equipping children for the new school year. Human beings are made of water–-we were not designedto hold ourselves togetherrather run freelylike oceanslike rivers — Beau Taplin Thanks for reading Musings! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit charisselouw.substack.com [https://charisselouw.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Natural Grace, Effortless Joy

The Long & Winding Road Back to Ourselves 2024 kicked my butt. Not gonna lie, it felt relentless. There were plenty of personal struggles and who can deny that the global scene — political & environmental — has felt particularly fraught. I arrived with some trepidation at the Buddhist Retreat Centre [https://www.brcixopo.co.za/] via ‘a lovely road that runs from Ixopo into the hills. These hills are grass-covered and rolling, and they are lovely beyond any singing of it’ (Alan Paton’s Cry the Beloved Country). What would happen when I stepped off the mad mad merry-go-round? Thanks for reading Musings! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. The first time I visited the BRC, 13 years ago, my children were little and my parents were living in Umdloti on the North Coast of tropical Kwa-Zulu Natal. Just about every holiday growing up we spent in neighbouring Umhlanga. My grandparents had a wonderful holiday home and our Christmases were made so special by them and their unmatched hospitality. So I left my little ones with my parents and borrowed my mom’s car to give myself three days self-retreat at the famed BRC, voted top amongst the world’s best retreats, and rightly so. It is also one of the few places in South Africa that truly runs on Buddhist principles. Those three days were important, but not necessarily easy. I hiked a lot, something I missed as a mother of small children, and made some peace with my new reality. Give up to grace. The ocean takes care of each wave 'til it gets to shore. You need more help than you know — Jalal ad-Din Muhammad ar-Rumi As a visiting teacher, the generosity shown by the BRC knows no bounds. This, my third time facilitating there, I was gifted 10 days to slowly allow my knots to untangle themselves and my mind to become more tranquil. As I gazed at the mist rolling in, basked in the sun, watched the darling troop of monkeys doting on their batch of tiny babies, listened to the birdsong, relished the delicious food, my days started to feel measured, my nervous system began to simmer down. I do not understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us — Anne Lamott Every morning I woke with the dawn chorus around 5. Then enjoyed a walking meditation in the lovely labyrinth, followed by a sit in the zendo. You can have the other words — chance, luck, coincidence, serendipity. I'll take grace. I don't know what it is exactly, but I'll take it — Mary Oliver Breakfast brought fruit salad and the world’s most delicious chai along with porridges and cooked goodies served with the mouth watering farm baked breads. The kitchen fairies are tremendously skilled and clearly love their work. All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful. — Flannery O'Connor Meditation Medicine My days were spent practicing yoga, qi gong, hiking, reading beneath a tree and meditating, which comes from the same Latin root word (medeor) as medication meaning ‘to heal or to make whole.’ Meditation triggers a self-repair mechanism in our bodies — studies show cortisol and adrenalin production slows while endorphins and serotonin increase. Meditation beside the dam, strolling the rolling hills, circumnambulating the stupa, walking from one sacred site to the next on this blessed land, often while chanting mantras, helped me leave behind a whole helluva lot of mind clutter. There have been times when I've been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again — till next time. I've learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness and misery, but that I won't stay submerged. And each time something has been learned under the waters; something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown. The best I can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures, will continue to grow. I can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and blessed.— Madeleine L'Engle All of life is a meditation, in that it calls us to pay attention. In curious mindfulness we find our playful connection to Life itself. I hiked out to a waterfall the one day and then up to a village where I met friendly children and grannies hard at work in their kitchen gardens. I met the founding mamas of Woza Moya [https://www.wozamoya.org.za/], created by the BRC in 2000 to provide the local community with support. I simply adore their sock monkeys of which we have a little family that grows every time I visit. Last year’s retreat on Joy had a bright pink monkey sporting a wild afro as mascot and this year we welcome Grace into the fold. The Retreat As humans we live here amongst the ‘family of things,’ yet somehow separate. This illusion of separation the Tibetan Buddhists term Maha Bekandze – the Great Suffering. The Peace of Wild Things When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. — Wendell Berry When you make a pilgrimage, which is what coming to the BRC entails, it requires that you give yourself the gift of REALLY being present. I turned my phone to airplane mode and within 24 hours my monkey mind had quietened significantly. The invitation is to do less, to slow down…all our habitual ways of doing doing doing…and invite in more presence. Mindfully walk, brush your teeth, eat, speak (probably the most challenging). In pairs we shared the quotes on Grace you find littered throughout this piece and tied a white thread around our partner’s wrist in the Thai Buddhist tradition of Sai Sin, as a mindfulness reminder. Then took to our journals, ever a kind listening ear. Why am I afraid to dance,I who love music and rhythm and grace and song and laughter? Why am I afraid to live,I who love life and the beauty of flesh and the living colors of the earth and sky and sea? Why am I afraid to love,I who love love? — Eugene O'Neill Journal prompt: I am afraid to… because… The most common form of despair is not being who you are — Soren Kierkegaard Journal prompt: Who am I? The Medicine Buddha Mantra Mantra helps soothe and focus the anxious mind. This particular one is for clearing negativity and helping us heal. Since I first did the Medicine Buddha puja with dearest Lindi [https://healingsounds.co.za/], South Africa’s OG sound medicine mama, at Kagyu Samye Dzong [https://capetown.kagyu.org.za/] while grieving the loss of my grandparents [http://charisselouw.blogspot.com/2021/03/only-love-ike-edwina.html] (and so much else) during the Covid pandemic, it has proven a balm. TAYATA — ‘like this’ — carried beyond samsara & nirvana, samsara meaning ‘wandering’ or ‘world,’ meaning the cycles of birth and death, the suffering caused by karma that ends in nirvana when we gain insight into impermanence OM BEKADZE BEKADZE. MAHA BEKADZE BEKADZE — Bekandze means ‘the elimination of suffering’ and is repeated three times for the removal of suffering on the physical, emotional and Maha Bekandze, the great suffering, which stems from the illusion of separation RADZA (Divine King) SAMUNGATE (wisdom as wide as the ocean) SOHA (so be it/ pure devotion & intention from which all manifestation arises) The Medicine Buddha Mantra comes from the Mahayana Buddhist tradition. For more on the different schools of Buddhism [https://tricycle.org/beginners/buddhism/whats-the-difference-between-theravada-mahayana-and-vajrayana/] here’s a lovely article in Tricycle Magazine. If you like, you can visualize Medicine Buddha sitting, looking at you. He is depicted as having a dark blue (lapis lazuli) body, this being an archetypal color of healing. It also happens to be my lifelong favourite. With his left hand he holds a bowl of healing amrita, purported to be produced by the body during deep states of meditation. With his right a medicine plant called myrobalan. In your visualization, he is at about the height of your forehead, a few feet in front of you, gazing at you with so much love. Buddha (the Awakened One) is everything beautiful gathered into one. We had Deva Premal and the Gyuto Monks support us in chanting 108 rounds of the mantra. Gyuto was founded in 1475 and is one of the main tantric colleges of the Gelug tradition. In Tibet, monks who had completed their geshe studies would be invited to join Gyuto to receive a firm grounding in vajrayana practice. These monasteries used to be in Lhasa, Tibet, but they have been re-established in Dharamsala, India. Today, there are nearly 500 monks in the entire order. The Gyuto monks are known for their tradition of overtone singing, also described as chordal chanting. Grace means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you — Frederick Buechner Why 108? According to Vedic teachings, there are 108 nadi or lines of energy that extend from the heart to the rest of the body. Each repetition is of a mantra is said to flow along one of these lines. Although there are some differences in how the Sanskrit language is standardized, many experts say there are 54 fundamental letters. Each of these letters have a masculine and a feminine component, bringing the total to 108. The letters of the Sanskrit alphabet are said to correspond to the petals on the lower six chakras. Reciting the Medicine Buddha mantra 108 times would stimulate each of the petals for these chakras: root chakra, sacral chakra, solar plexus chakra, heart chakra, throat chakra, third eye chakra. The number 108 is also said to have astronomical significance. For example, the average distance from the earth to the sun is 108 times the diameter of the sun. The average distance of the earth from the moon is approximately 108 times the diameter of the moon. Because of the significance of this number is Eastern spiritual thought, many temples have 108 steps. Many deities are given 108 names. There are said to be 108 gopis or attendants for Lord Krishna. The measure of the internal angles in a pentagon (considered to be a holy shape) is 108 degrees. In numerology, 108 is called the Universal Number. The 1 stands for consciousness, the 0 for completeness and the 8 for infinity. If you are using mala beads to count mantra repetitions, going around the beads a single time is 108. The Western rosary has 54 beads, exactly half of a set of mala beads. The Practices Mantras operate in the realm of energy, vibration and transformation – so on our way into the Meditation Hall we graced one another with the gift of a healing sound bath through some of the BRC’s many gorgeous chimes and gongs. Then we entered the zendo in silence, donned a saffron robe and found a comfortable seat. Their zendo is equipped with zafus, the round cushions, on thick rectangular mats called zabutons. Your hips should sit high so your knees can relax downward and your spine remain effortlessly long. If sitting cross legged on the floor is not comfortable for your body, try the kneeling bench, seiza, and sit in vajrasana (thunderbolt). If that doesn’t work for you, please sit on a chair. There is no reason to suffer unnecessarily. Please don’t. Then Noble Silence. A sacred opportunity to slow down, pay attention, stay curious and become ever kinder. We eat breakfast in silence at the BRC, what a wonderful way to appreciate food and gain insight into our eating habits. Eating, like breathing, is one of those things we simply cannot avoid in life, so we had best make peace with it and retrain ourselves to do it better. I’m so grateful for these ten days that helped me break out of some unhealthy emotional eating I’d been stuck in as a soothing strategy during stressful times. Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word ‘love’ here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace — not in the infantile sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth. — James Baldwin (The Fire Next Time) A lovely silent meditation started our second day followed by Qi Gong with the Big Buddha and after brekkie a check in at the Buddhaboma followed by the gift of Walking Meditation from the Labyrinth. We each found a rooted friend (flower, tree, bush, weed) whom we visited throughout the weekend. Slowly, after the initial falling in love at first sight, through Goethean observation, possibly sketching this friend, we became more intimate with the plant kingdom. You can use mantra as you practice walking meditation. Initially counting and breathing helps, then inevitably the mind gets bored, so mantra can be useful to keep the quality of mind pure rather than spiraling into stories. A hand on the heart helps to remind us that we can always get kinder, kinder still, ever kinder. A Buddha smile helps the medicine go down. 无为 Wu wei means – in Chinese – non-doing or ‘doing nothing’ the noblest kind of action according to the philosophy of Daoism – and is at the heart of what it means to follow Dao or The Way. According to the central text of Daoism, the Dao De Jing: ‘The Way never acts yet nothing is left undone’. It doesn’t mean not acting, it means ‘effortless action’ or ‘actionless action’. It means being at peace while engaged in the most frenetic tasks so that one can carry these out with maximum skill and efficiency. It is the art of being natural if you will. Here we are, as much a part of nature as anything, but full of mind interference. What if we were to allow for Natural Grace? After resting and lunching we played through art making. Creativity requires a state of grace. So many things are required for it to succeed — Magda Szabó A process of found poetry and collage proved revealing. The consolation of fairy-stories, the joy of the happy ending; or more correctly of the good catastrophe, the sudden joyous "turn" (for there is no true end to any fairy-tale): this joy, which is one of the things which fairy-stories can produce supremely well, is not essentially ‘escapist,’ nor ‘fugitive.’ In its fairy-tale — or otherworld — setting, it is a sudden and miraculous grace: never to be counted on to recur. It does not deny the existence of dyscatastrophe, of sorrow and failure: the possibility of these is necessary to the joy of deliverance; it denies (in the face of much evidence, if you will) universal final defeat and in so far is evangelium (Evangelium is a Latin word that translates to "good news" in English and refers to the gospel in Christianity), giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief. — J.R.R. Tolkien (Tolkien On Fairy-stories) Journal prompt: If you were to allow for natural Grace & effortless joy…what would your happy ending look like? Dinner was followed by dancing cheek to cheek with Joy & Grace — sandwich yourself between them! Let loose. Howl. Sweat. We had a cathartic ball shaking our sillies out. When someone mentions the gracefulness of the nightsky, climb up on the roof and dance and say, Like this. — Rumi A cosy fireside chat turned into a burn ritual at Mark’s instigation. And then a sing-along at the suggestion of Amanda, our neck rub angel (bless you!). Christel, who will also be facilitating at the BRC soon, shared an original song [https://youtu.be/T3HU8tHnEJ4?si=bBZlTS5b7AfwA5WK] that picked up on Tania’s beautiful art/ life process on her incredible wild land [https://mimimoya.com/en/home-english/]. Morning brought gentle Yoga. For those who were requesting a recorded class, here’s one dating back to those hard lockdown days: And here’s my Yoga playlist that floated some boats: By request we enjoyed more lekker qi gong. Here’s a link to some of what we covered during our sessions: http://charisselouw.blogspot.com/2022/08/qi-gong-playshop.html [http://charisselouw.blogspot.com/2022/08/qi-gong-playshop.html] Stand and face me, my love, and scatter the grace in your eyes. — Sappho We then sat with a new friend, someone we hadn’t connected with yet. Found a bench, looked up, lingered longer. Allowed our attention to become wide as the sky. Just sat and breathed together. We told our new friend about our other (rooted) friend, engaging all our senses. Then let the speaking/listening meditation take us where it wanted to. Till Tea time. In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you —Jack Kornfield, Buddha’s Little Instruction Book And just like that our weekend came to a close with some heartfelt insights shared and after Isabelle [https://www.facebook.com/corastrology5] enlightened us about this particular New Moon, we committed to one small change that could allow for more grace & joy in our lives. For Equilibrium, a Blessing: Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore, May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul As the wind loves to call things to dance,May your gravity be lightened by grace. (…) As water takes whatever shape it is in,So free may you be about who you become. — John O'Donohue (To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings) As always, we closed with the essential thing — Loving Kindness Meditation — and the BRC’s fab Sunday Lunch. My heartfelt thanks to the lovely circle and of course to this unparalleled sanctuary for holding us with such compassion. It’s simply the perfect place to befriend yourself. Thanks for reading Musings! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit charisselouw.substack.com [https://charisselouw.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]