Please and Thank You

Everything changes

In this heartfelt final episode of Plan P, hosts Sarah and Quinn delve into the intricate world of parenting, exploring the challenges and triumphs that come with raising children. They emphasize the power of vulnerability, sharing personal stories and insights on how embracing openness can strengthen relationships with our kids. Join them as they discuss the importance of giving grace to both ourselves and our children, and the lifelong journey of uncovering and discovering who we truly are. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that encourages parents to lead with love and authenticity. Sarah’s list of Podcasts. With a reminder: Change takes time, patience, maybe listening to thousands of podcasts ans then practice, practice, practice. Hidden Brain is always interesting and relevant IMHO to the work that we do at Plan P. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hidden-brain/id1028908750 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hidden-brain/id1028908750]   Everyone knows but it bears repeating and TED Talks Daily are only 15-20 minutes, in case you have a short commute to work or the kid's school. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ted-talks-daily/id160904630 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ted-talks-daily/id160904630]   Not all apply to parenting but more than a few do, and they all can be reminders, we have choices. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/choiceology-with-katy-milkman/id1337886873 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/choiceology-with-katy-milkman/id1337886873]   Parents basically hoping to life coach their kids eh?  So. Not all of these sre completely relevant, but a lot can be applied to parenting because they’re about relationships and leadership.  Nuf said? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-coaching/id1438273764 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-coaching/id1438273764]   Not a parenting podcast. A business pod. Surprisingly on point often… maybe because a lot of negotiation is involved in parenting, particularly in  the adolescent years! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/negotiate-anything/id1101679010 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/negotiate-anything/id1101679010]   Dr. Adam is on it. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/superpsyched-with-dr-adam-dorsay/id1512883587 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/superpsyched-with-dr-adam-dorsay/id1512883587]   Dr. Brad also knows his stuff. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/finding-you-by-dr-brad-reedy/id1157223571 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/finding-you-by-dr-brad-reedy/id1157223571]   Eldra Jackson Jr. is a great man with a great podcast. Listen to all of them.  This episode's guest reminds us that our kids have a different perspective, and that is ok. https://open.spotify.com/episode/70J20VuckxOA4K0eEQMnc4 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-inside-circle-podcast-with-eldra-jackson-iii/id1547715991?i=1000682554332]   Not just because she’s my sister in law; for parents of children who have had losses.  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-we-there-yet/id1670848182 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-we-there-yet/id1670848182]   Good stuff, Nedra Glover Tawaab wrote the book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace (it might be the only way to get there honestly, and it is hard work, which is why we are here for you!) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-need-to-hear-this-with-nedra-tawwab/id1686288228 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-need-to-hear-this-with-nedra-tawwab/id1686288228]   For a minute CMC, the amazing folks behind Invitation to Change [https://cmcffc.org/approach/invitation-to-change] (which we highly suggest you check out for free groups if your child is challenged with substances) , did a podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rethinking-rock-bottom/id1709509368 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rethinking-rock-bottom/id1709509368]   And, last but not least, this episode of The Moth by an honest, humble mother, with a happy ending, and her personal story of getting there. All of the episodes are stories, they're all good, they are all heartfelt and entertaining and true and told by people without scripts.   https://themoth.org/podcast/right-here-right-now [https://themoth.org/podcast/right-here-right-now]   Considering options for under 18 when you’re feeling overwhelmed? We're still here.  Schedule a free session with us if you’re feeling honest plus brave. You can get through this, and you deserve support! Mahatma Gandhi on detachment: “Detachment is not indifference. It is the prerequisite for effective involvement. Often what we think is best for others is distorted by our attachments to our opinions.  We want people to be happy in the way we think they should be happy.  It is only when we want nothing for ourselves that we are able to see clearly into the others needs and understand how to serve them.”

Covering and Uncovering

Summary In this episode of Plan P, we delve into the concept of 'covering' as defined by legal scholar Kenji Yoshino, exploring how individuals downplay their outsider attributes to fit in and feel comfortable. They share personal stories and discuss the implications of socioeconomic class on identity, particularly among youth. The conversation highlights the generational differences in understanding class and privilege, the complexities of authenticity, and the ongoing journey of uncovering one's true self. The hosts emphasize the importance of supporting children in their identity exploration and the role of parents in this process. References “We all contain multitudes” – Walt Whitman “Ollie in between” – Jess Callans Listen to Kenji Yoshino: On Hidden Brain: Dropping the Mask https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hidden-brain/id1028908750?i=1000697475525 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hidden-brain/id1028908750?i=1000697475525] or  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-build-and-rebuild-trust-ted-business/id1677016372?i=1000637833309 How to build (and rebuild) trust | TED Business [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-build-and-rebuild-trust-ted-business/id1677016372?i=1000637833309] Fixable · December 11, 2023 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-build-and-rebuild-trust-ted-business/id1677016372?i=1000637833309] Takeaways * Covering is about downplaying outsider attributes to fit in. * Everyone engages in covering to some extent. * Privilege can create distance in relationships. * Youth today are more aware of socioeconomic issues. * Covering is a universal experience, not limited to one group. * Authenticity is complex and often requires uncovering. * Parenting plays a crucial role in identity exploration. * Uncovering is a lifelong journey for everyone. * Empathy alone does not invite truth-telling. * Recognizing our own covering can help us support our children. Sound Bites * "We all do this to some extent." * "Privilege can create distance." * "We all contain multitudes."

Parenting through Adversity

Summary   In this episode of the Plan P podcast, we delve into the complexities of parenting adolescents and teens, discussing the unique challenges that arise during this stage of development. We explore the importance of allowing children to face adversity as a means of growth, the individual differences in coping mechanisms, and the critical role of communication in fostering independence. The conversation emphasizes the need for balance between guidance and freedom, the significance of setting boundaries, and the value of patience and understanding in the parenting journey.   Takeaways Parenting teens is often considered the hardest stage. Adversity is essential for growth and learning. Each child has unique coping mechanisms. Communication is key to understanding teens. Fostering independence helps build responsibility. Balancing guidance and freedom is crucial. Setting boundaries is important for development. Parents should allow children to learn from experiences. Patience is necessary as change takes time. Understanding the individual needs of each child is vital.

Navigating the Spectrum of Parenting

Summary In this episode of Plan P, we delve into the concept of spectrums as it relates to parenting, particularly in the context of adolescents. We discuss the complexities of neurodiversity, mental health, identity, and the fluidity of emotions. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding that everyone is on various spectrums, whether it be related to gender, functionality, or grief. The hosts also touch on the role of community and belonging, as well as the challenges parents face in navigating their children's identities and emotions. The episode concludes with a practical exercise for listeners to identify where they are on their own personal spectrums. References Kinsey Scale  Netflix documentary “Will and Harper” Ted talk by Chloe Hayden Tangle article by Hunter Casperson “The Genetic Optimization of Life” Harry Goodall “Learning to Heal”   Takeaways We're all layered and complex, especially during adolescence. Everything is on a spectrum, including emotions and identities. A diagnosis can provide clarity and understanding. Chasing pain can lead to more pain for both parents and children. Community can provide support and belonging for those on various spectrums. Grief is a spectrum that can manifest in many ways. Understanding personal spectrums can help in parenting. Expectations can create pressure on both parents and children. Identifying where we are on our spectrums can lead to personal growth.

Please and Thank You

Summary   In this episode of Plan P,  we explore the transformative power of simple words like 'please' and 'thank you' in parenting, emphasizing the importance of genuine communication and emotional space. We discuss how these words can foster respect and trust between parents and teenagers, and how creating space for adolescents to express themselves is crucial for their development. The conversation also highlights the significance of authenticity in building relationships and offers practical exercises for parents to strengthen their connections with their children.   Takeaways The words 'please' and 'thank you' can transform communication. Genuine gratitude acknowledges the individuality of teenagers. Creating emotional and physical space is essential for adolescents. Parenting involves a process of letting go and allowing independence. Respecting teenagers means giving them space to express themselves. Authenticity in communication fosters trust in relationships. Acknowledging feelings helps teenagers feel seen and heard. Practicing gratitude can enhance family dynamics. Building trust is about being imperfect and authentic.