Set Apart + Called Podcast

Episode 39: The Duality of Narcissism - He Was a Pastor in Public, but a Monster at Home | Guest Episode with Lena Rivers

What happens when the person abusing you is also the person everyone admires on Sunday morning? In the first guest episode of Set Apart + Called, I sit down with Lena Rivers to talk about surviving narcissistic abuse inside a marriage with a pastor whose public image looked nothing like the reality happening behind closed doors. We talk about spiritual abuse, manipulation inside the church, the pressure to stay silent, and what happens when faith becomes tangled with fear, control, and image management. Lena also shares what it was like asking church leadership for help — only to watch the institution protect the abuser instead. This conversation is honest, uncomfortable, and deeply important for anyone who has ever questioned themselves inside a relationship that looked “good” from the outside. * The duality of the public pastor and private abuser * Spiritual manipulation and image control * Why narcissists can thrive in church environments * What happens when leadership protects the wrong person * Rebuilding faith after spiritual abuse * The reality of leaving and healing after narcissistic abuse Lena Rivers is a narcissistic abuse survivor and educator focused on helping others understand coercive control, manipulation, and post-separation abuse. She is currently working on a book for survivors navigating recovery after narcissistic relationships. TikTok / Instagram: @thrive_free_npd

Episode 38: Reactive Abuse - How the Narcissist Pushes You to Your Breaking Point — Then Uses Your Reaction as Proof You’re the Problem

Have you ever finally snapped after months of being provoked and then somehow ended up being the one who was out of control? That’s reactive abuse. And it’s one of the most powerful tools a narcissist uses to maintain control, shift blame, and keep you questioning your own sanity. In this episode we break down exactly what reactive abuse is, why it works, and how narcissists deliberately provoke reactions they can use against you. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too emotional,” “unstable,” or “the real problem” — this episode is for you. What reactive abuse actually is and why it’s not your fault. * How narcissists deliberately engineer your breaking point. * Why your reaction gets weaponized against you. * The connection between reactive abuse and gaslighting. * How to recognize the cycle and protect your peace. * The spiritual warfare behind the pattern. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. You can reach me directly at setapartandcalledpodcast@gmail.com [setapartandcalledpodcast@gmail.com] — I read every message personally. Stay grounded in truth. What was meant to break you is building you instead.

Episode 37: The Trauma Bond - Why Leaving The Narcissist Feels Like Withdrawal

If you've ever wondered why leaving felt impossible,why you still felt something for someone who hurt you, why years can pass and one message still shakes you — this episode is going to give you the answer you've been looking for. It's not because you didn't love yourself enough. It's biology. In this episode we talk about: → What a trauma bond actually is and why it forms → What's happening psychologically — the real science behind why leaving feels like withdrawal → Why co-parenting with a narcissist makes healing so much harder → Why the feelings don't just disappear even years later → 5 actionable things you can do to begin untangling the bond → The forgiveness that finally set me free — and why I did it for myself, not for him If this episode resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear it. That's how this podcast finds the people who need it most. 🎙️ New episodes every week 📧 setapartandcalledpodcast@gmail.com 📱 TikTok: @setapartcalled.po narcissistic abuse, trauma bond, why leaving is so hard, co-parenting with a narcissist, healing from narcissistic abuse, trauma bond recovery, narcissist relationship, emotional abuse, Set Apart and Called, Christian healing, forgiveness after abuse

Episode 36: Why Narcissists Choose Codependent Partners — And Why It’s Not What You Think

Codependency gets talked about a lot online, but most explanations don’t actually help people understand what was really happening inside these relationships. In this episode of Set Apart + Called, we look at why narcissistic abuse and codependent patterns often become intertwined in ways that are difficult to recognize while you’re living through them. Not because someone is weak or “just won’t leave,” but because empathy, responsibility, and the instinct to repair relationships can slowly be turned against you. We also talk about love bombing, emotional manipulation, and why trauma bonds can make narcissistic relationships so hard to walk away from—even when you start seeing the truth. If you’ve ever looked back at a relationship and wondered why it lasted as long as it did, this conversation helps explain what was really happening beneath the surface.

Episode 35: Post-Separation Abuse — When Control Doesn’t End After Divorce

Leaving the relationship didn’t end the control. It just changed how it showed up. In this Season 2 premiere, I’m talking about the reality of post-separation abuse — what happens when a narcissistic or high-conflict ex no longer has access to you as a partner, but still finds ways to maintain power through co-parenting, financial pressure, and psychological manipulation. This episode covers: • Why control often escalates after divorce • The emotional and psychological toll of forced co-parenting • How financial withholding becomes a tool of punishment • The confusion created by their public behavior versus private treatment • And how to protect your peace without losing yourself in the process If you’ve ever wondered why it still affects you — even after you left — this episode will help you understand why. If this episode resonated with you, the best way to support the podcast is to follow the show and leave a review. It helps more people find this space and reminds them they’re not alone. To share your story or request a topic: setapartandcalledpodcast@gmail.com