020: How the “Good Girl” Archetype Is Secretly Killing Your Relationship

020: How the “Good Girl” Archetype Is Secretly Killing Your Relationship

What if the very behaviors that made you feel lovable are the same ones disconnecting you from intimacy, desire, and authentic connection? In this powerful episode of SIP with Summers, Jennifer sits down with relationship and feminine embodiment coach Bella Krutik to unpack how “good girl conditioning” quietly shapes women’s relationships, boundaries, sexuality, and sense of self. Bella shares her deeply personal story of reconciling with her ex-husband years after divorce, and how embodiment work, nervous system regulation, and radical self-awareness transformed not only her relationship… but her relationship with herself. Together, Jennifer and Bella explore: * People pleasing and lack of boundaries * Why over-functioning kills attraction * The connection between authenticity and libido * Nervous system regulation and intimacy * Emotional safety vs. emotional avoidance * The “roommate phase” in long-term relationships * Feminine embodiment and reconnecting to your body * How “good girls” become emotionally unavailable * Why pleasure requires vulnerability Plus, Bella guides listeners through a beautiful grounding and presence exercise you can try yourself. This episode is for every woman who has ever felt disconnected, resentful, emotionally shut down, or stuck performing a version of herself that no longer fits. Connect with Bella:Instagram: @bellakcoaching [ https://www.instagram.com/bellakcoaching/⁠] Head to Bella's Instagram page and either book a discovery call or download her freebies (these include a Relationship Reconnection guide and Pleasure Playlist to help you move into pleasure before a date night). Connect with Jennifer: 🌐 Summers of Love [https://summersoflove.com/] 🎙️ All of her social links and upcoming events [https://linktr.ee/TheSelfMadeDiva]

019: Pleasure at Every Size: Reclaiming Desire, Confidence, and Connection in the Body You Have Now

Pleasure is not a reward. It is a right. ⁠Book a session⁠⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-coaching] | ⁠⁠Join The Self Love Club⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/groups/SelfMadeDivaVIP] | ⁠⁠Ask me anything⁠⁠ [https://ngl.link/theselfmadediva34809] | ⁠⁠Shop enhancement products⁠⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/enhancements] | ⁠⁠Shop TOYS! ⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-toys] In this episode of SIP With Summers, we are talking about pleasure at every size and why your body, exactly as it is today, is already capable of deep, satisfying, toe-curling pleasure. If you have ever thought: • “I need to lose weight first.” • “My body gets in the way.” • “I should hide myself during sex.” • “Sex isn’t as good in a bigger body.” This episode is for you. We are dismantling shame, debunking myths, and replacing them with real tools, real education, and real permission to feel sexy, powerful, and desirable right now. • Why pleasure is not conditional on body size or appearance • How shame shuts down arousal and how to gently release it • Body neutrality and why you do not have to love your body to enjoy pleasure • Simple embodiment practices that reconnect you to sensation • Pleasure anatomy basics, including why the clitoris is way bigger than you were taught • How plus-size bodies are not a barrier to pleasure, they are a pathway • Lube, toys, props, and positioning that support comfort and access • The best positions and pleasure hacks for plus-size and midlife bodies • How to ask for comfort and support in bed without killing the vibe • Three things you can try tonight to increase pleasure immediately This is a shame-free, judgment-free conversation designed to help you feel more at home in your body and more confident asking for what feels good. I work with women and couples through intimacy coaching, body confidence, low desire, perimenopause and menopause transitions, and communication around pleasure. Coaching is available virtually and in person. I also host Sex-Ed Meets Stand-Up toy parties that are educational, fun, spicy, and inclusive of every body. If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a five-star review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Your body is not a problem to solve. Your body is a pleasure source waiting to be explored.

018: Ask the Sexologist: Painful Sex, Desire Mismatch, G-Spot Myths & More

Real, anonymous questions about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and everything we were never properly taught. Book a session⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-coaching] | ⁠Join The Self Love Club⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/groups/SelfMadeDivaVIP] | ⁠Ask me anything⁠ [https://ngl.link/theselfmadediva34809] | ⁠Shop enhancement products⁠ [https://summersoflove.com/collections/enhancements] | ⁠Shop TOYS! [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-toys] From painful sex without lube to why the G-spot can feel elusive, this episode is packed with practical, sex-positive education you can actually use. No shame, no fluff, just honest answers and tools that help you feel more confident in your body and your relationships. In this episode, we cover: • Why sex can suddenly feel painful without lube, even if it never used to • How arousal, aging, and perimenopause affect natural lubrication • Why lubrication increases pleasure, comfort, and sexual health • Recommended books for healing intimacy and deepening desire • What the G-spot really is and why it can be hard to stimulate consistently • How breath, mindset, and warming up the body support stronger orgasms • Why rushing foreplay makes orgasms harder, not easier • How to get out of your head and back into your body during sex • What to do when partners have mismatched libidos • Why intimacy does not always have to mean penetration • How toys can support connection, not replace it • Best positions and pleasure tips when trying to conceive • Body confidence, lights-off sex, and easing sexual insecurity • Simple, approachable ways to initiate intimacy and try new things Jennifer also shares practical tools like breathing techniques, foreplay timing ideas, pleasure-first mindset shifts, and ways couples can communicate more openly about their needs without pressure or guilt. If you have ever wondered “Is this normal?” this episode is for you. ✨ Have a question you want answered on the show? Submit anonymously at www.selfmadediva.com [www.selfmadediva.com] If you enjoyed this episode, leave a review, share it with a friend, or send it to that group chat that definitely needs it. Stay curious. Stay turned on. And as always, keep sipping. 🍷

017: Ask the Sexologist: Libido, Menopause, Orgasms, and Real Talk

Low libido. Stress. Menopause questions. Orgasms that feel impossible. If any of that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Book a session [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-coaching] | Join The Self Love Club [https://www.facebook.com/groups/SelfMadeDivaVIP] | Elevated lubricant for 40+ women [https://summersoflove.com/products/water-based-lubricant-elevated?_pos=1&_psq=ele&_ss=e&_v=1.0] | Vulva balm [https://summersoflove.com/products/enchanted-rose-vulva-balm?_pos=1&_psq=rose&_ss=e&_v=1.0] | Ask me anything [https://ngl.link/theselfmadediva34809] | Best intimate shaving cream [https://summersoflove.com/products/coochy-conditioning-shave-cream?_pos=1&_psq=cooc&_ss=e&_v=1.0] | The Herpes Plug [https://www.tiktok.com/@coachshanasingleton?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] | Shop enhancement products [https://summersoflove.com/collections/enhancements] | Shop TOYS! [https://summersoflove.com/collections/sex-toys] In this solo Q&A episode of SIP With Summers, board-certified sexologist and menopause coach Jennifer Marie Summers answers your anonymous questions about desire, stress, orgasms, menopause, vaginal dryness, pain during sex, sleep issues, body hair, herpes disclosure, and so much more. We talk about why anxiety kills desire, why foreplay matters more than you were ever taught, what’s actually happening in your body during perimenopause, and why not orgasming from penetration is completely normal. You’ll learn: • How to get in the mood without pills or supplements • Why stress directly affects libido and arousal • What helps with vaginal dryness and painful sex during menopause • When fertility actually ends and what perimenopause really looks like • Why so many women struggle to orgasm and what actually helps • How to talk to partners about pleasure, STIs, and shame-free sex This is sex education without judgment, medical shame, or whispering. You’re not broken. You might just need better information and support. 💬 Have a question you’re afraid to ask out loud? Submit it anonymously at selfmadediva.com [https://www.selfmadediva.com/] and it may be featured in a future episode.

016: You Are Not Broken: Midlife Orgasms, Desire, and Menopause Care with Dr. Christine Hart Kress

Host: Jennifer Marie Summers, Board Certified Sexologist, Certified Sex Coach, menopause coach in training Guest: Dr. Christine Hart Cress, DNP, APRN, WHNP-BC, MSCP. CEO of a telemedicine practice for midlife and menopause care, Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, Air Force veteran, co-host of The Dusty Muffin. If your brain says “let’s get it on” but your body says “let me sleep,” this one’s for you. We talk responsive vs spontaneous desire, why faking orgasms backfires, how clitoral stimulation actually works, and what evidence-based options can help with arousal and orgasm in midlife. We dig into testosterone, Addyi, Vyleesi, vaginal estrogen, DHEA, lube and moisturizers, and the not-so-sexy basics that change everything like sleep and stress. The theme of the day is empowerment. You are not broken. What we cover * Why most medical training skipped sexual health and how that is changing * The full clitoral anatomy and why penetration alone rarely does it * Responsive vs spontaneous desire and how to work with both * Tools that can help: vibrators, clitoral stimulators, and why solo practice matters * Hormone therapy myths vs facts, plus when to consider transdermal options * Testosterone for women, timelines, common dosing formats, and realistic expectations * Addyi and Vyleesi basics, where they fit, and cost access tips discussed in the show * Vaginal estrogen and DHEA for comfort, arousal, and orgasm support * Why sleep, mood, strength training, and protein quietly drive libido * The mindset shift that unlocks desire in midlife Resources mentioned * Vibrators and clitoral stimulators for blood flow and arousal * Testosterone gel or compounded cream under clinician guidance * Addyi and Vyleesi as options for certain women * Vaginal estrogen and vaginal DHEA for GSM comfort and orgasm support * Daily vulvar moisturizers and quality lubricants for pain-free play Talk to a qualified clinician to determine what is right for you. Find Dr. Christine Cress Telemedicine practice for midlife and menopause care Co-host of The Dusty Muffin podcast Boards: Bite Me Cancer Foundation, Empower Scholarship FundWebsite [https://www.christinehartkressdnp.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/christinehartkress_dnp?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==] | YouTube [www.youtube.com/@thedustymuffins3] Work with Jennifer Sex and intimacy coaching for women and couples Perimenopause and menopause coaching in training Parties, workshops, and my podcast SIP With Summers Shop Intimacy Products [https://summersoflove.com/] | Connect on Socials [https://linktr.ee/TheSelfMadeDiva] Enchanted Rose Vulva Balm [https://summersoflove.com/products/enchanted-rose-vulva-balm?utm_source=copyToPasteBoard&utm_medium=product-links&utm_content=web] Lubricants [https://summersoflove.com/collections/lubricants]for sex, pleasure, and comfort Disclaimer Educational content only. Not medical advice. Consult your own clinician. midlife libido, perimenopause sex, menopause desire, clitoral anatomy, orgasm difficulty, testosterone for women, Addyi, Vyleesi, vaginal estrogen, DHEA, vibrator benefits, responsive desire