The Confessions of Spiffy Brumpkin

Retirement: a Time for Relaxing

i would love to relax. that would be awesome but what you guys dont see is that my turtle sanctuary has been out of control lately. Dont even get me started on the ferns. plus the HOA keeps hazing me. Im typing this from the car because I need to bring jim (hoa captain) a carton of kools. Is this normal? if they find out about the turtle sanctuary im effed. Im supposed to get branded next week and I really dont want them to find out before that. that could be -- GET OUT OF THE ROAD! YOU ARE OLD AND I AM BEAUTIFUL! SO I DO HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. NO I DONT HAVE ANY TURTLES IN THE CAR. GET AWAY FROM ME I AM PERFORMING A CITIZENS ARREST I AM A SOVERIGN CITIZEN AND THERE'S NOTHING IN THE COUNTY BYLINES THAT SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT REPTILES--old people wandering the streets. at this hour. When i'm just trying to help out jim and the other hoa fellas. They care about me. They really do.

Murder on the Spiffy Brumpspress Pt. 2

I'm sorry this took long to upload. I've been dealing with some stuff where my whole family is accusing me of disassembling all of my grandmother's furniture but I would never do something like that. My uncle was really a jerk about the whole thing. He threw me across the room witch caused more furniture to break and my family got madder. They can't prove it was me so WTF? AITAH ? (for disassembling/ breaking some heirlooms along with the furniture) ?  ps. I didn't even leave any clues so wth? M37

Murder on the Spiffy Brumpspress Pt. 1

god I hope nothing bad happens in this one. Seriously if anything bad happens I'm gonna lose it. If something even a little bad happens in this one I'm dissembling all the furniture in my grandma's house. Ok I'm going to click play now but it better just be a nice episode free of badness. But if not I'm holding my screwdriver.

The Los Angeles Burger Review

Consider this a declaration of war against any other foods content creator. I'm done keeping my opinions to myself, sitting in the corner with my thumb in my mouth. This is my chance. To talk about burgers.

Live from the San Fernando Alien Con

I wish I could meet a real life space alien and take a ride in his space alien car. Whats that? No I won't get off Santas lap thank you very much. I waited in line just like the rest of you. I pay taxes so I get to do this. It's like the fire department.