Episode 17: The Wounded Masculine and Its Discontents
In this episode, I have a deep and wide-ranging (and not nearly long enough!) conversation with Dean Abbott about the dilemmas and diversions of self-development and romantic unhappiness. We discuss the crisis of emotional immaturity in modern relationships, the over-functioning woman/underfunctioning man dynamic, why women are exhausted and men are dissociated, the real reason women get "the ick," and what it is that men and women really want and need from one another.
It's a conversation where we attempt to look beyond stereotypical tropes, and instead explore the fundamental ways that men and women misinterpret and misunderstand one another. We discuss how, tragically, the qualities and behaviors that we demand from our partners—as well as those we attempt to offer to them in return—are in many ways the exact opposite of what is required for successful partnership and individual growth.
Dr. Dean Abbott is a certified pastoral counselor and coach, author, poet, theologian, and mentor. You can learn more about him and his work at https://www.deanabbott.com and https://www.alifedesigned.org/dean, as well as follow him on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/altdeanabbott. (Note that this is a backup account; his main account at the time I'm publishing this has been hacked, but hopefully will be recovered soon—you can still read old posts there at twitter.com/deanabbott.)
Some mentioned resources:
Lindsay Gibson, "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" https://amzn.to/3OzVt9i [https://amzn.to/3OzVt9i]
Robert Bly, "Iron John: A Book About Men" https://amzn.to/4kpWyfQ [https://amzn.to/4kpWyfQ]
Dean Abbott, "Common Good: Reflections on Everyday Vices and Virtues" https://amzn.to/45Vj76f [https://amzn.to/45Vj76f]
Dean Abbott, "On Character and Community" https://amzn.to/3MxSlu8 --
My book, "Truth be Told": https://www.jenhowk.com/truth [https://www.jenhowk.com/truth]
For more resources including several weekly zoom groups, consider joining my community, The Collective Unconscious: https://collective.jenhowk.com [https://collective.jenhowk.com]