Everyone Is in Sales (Even If You Don't Think So) | Ashley Hayden

Grant Giles on Why Anxiety Needs Your Permission to Leave

Former pro triathlete and high-performance coach Grant Giles about anxiety, endurance sport, and influence. Grant explains how he suffered from pervasive anxiety and discovered that accepting and embodying it, rather than resisting it, reduced its power- a lesson he now applies in both sport and life. He describes his evolution from 1990s professional triathlon into a coaching career that integrates psychology, mindfulness, embodiment, and neuroscience, heavily influenced by the example of Mark Allen and the legendary 1989 Iron War. Grant outlines his coaching methods with triathletes, fighters, and big wave surfers, focusing on grounding in the body, breathwork, visualization in the “felt sense,” and preparing mentally for key “pinch points” where things get hardest. He closes with his coaching mantra of authenticity, honesty, integrity, and truth, arguing that stripping away personal “bullshit” and being fully yourself is the real source of influence and performance. Takeaways: Accept, don’t resist anxiety Grant explains that trying to get rid of anxiety makes it stronger; accepting and fully feeling it (like a wave that comes in and goes out) allows it to subside and become manageable. Performance comes from embodiment and flow High performance in Ironman and other extreme sports comes from “becoming the process”—using felt-sense visualization and staying in the body rather than overthinking, which enables flow even during very hard efforts. Real influence is grounded presence, not tactics Grant defines influence as the steady, calm “ground you hold” for others—being authentic, honest, and present—rather than clever strategies; athletes respond most to a coach’s integrity and grounded energy. Quotes: "What I found out about anxiety is the more you try to get rid of it, the stronger it gets. The more of it you can accept and embody and feel, the more it pulls back." Description: Grant reframes anxiety as something to be accepted and felt, not fought, showing how non-resistance reduces its power. "Be with the process. Don’t try and escape the process." Description: Grant’s core performance principle: instead of wishing discomfort away in sport (or life), immerse yourself fully in what you’re doing. "Influence to me is… the ground that you hold for other people… so basically, at the end of the day, it’s just be more of yourself, and there’s influence." Description: Grant defines influence as grounded presence and authenticity, not strategy or tactics. Timeline: 0:00 – Anxiety as a Superpower Grant explains his history with anxiety and how accepting it (not resisting it) changed everything. 1:00 – Who Is Grant Giles? Anton introduces Grant’s journey from pro triathlete to high-performance and mental skills coach. 4:07 – Old-School Triathlon & Ironman Basics They compare 90s triathlon to today and break down Ironman race distances. 6:06 – Hypnotherapy, Embodiment & Flow How visualization in the “felt sense” and non-resistance helped Grant take 45 minutes off his Ironman time. 9:42 – Anxiety in Racing and Life Grant’s “wave on a beach” metaphor and the principle: what you resist persists. 10:59 – What Real Influence Means Influence as the calm ground you hold for others, not tactics—rooted in Grant’s experience coaching a pro squad. 15:01 – Iron War & Mark Allen’s Impact The 1989 Iron War story and how Mark Allen’s psychological approach shaped Grant’s philosophy. 20:52 – Coaching Fighters & Big Wave Surfers Grounding, breathwork, and becoming an “immovable object” when safety and fear are on the line. 28:56 – Ironman as an Internal Battle Handling the darkest patches of the race and training to cope with “feeling bad,” not just feeling good. 36:27 – Grant’s Coaching Mantra: Authenticity Grant closes with his core values—truth, honesty, integrity, and being fully yourself as the real source of influence. Conclusion: Triathlon and high-performance coaching become a lens for understanding anxiety, influence, and leadership in everyday life. Grant Giles shows how accepting and embodying discomfort—rather than resisting it—unlocks flow, resilience, and better results, whether you’re racing Ironman, fighting in a ring, or leading a team. His methods of grounding, breathwork, and visualization in the “felt sense” turn abstract talk about mindsets into practical tools anyone can use. Above all, Grant argues that real influence isn’t about tactics; it’s about the authentic, steady ground you hold for others. Sport, in his world, is just the arena where we practice being more fully ourselves.

Everyone Is in Sales (Even If You Don't Think So) | Ashley Hayden

Ashley Hayden, a Melbourne-based commercial growth and marketing leader who also runs a small wine business as a creative outlet. Ashley defines influence primarily as the perception you create in others, emphasizing that what really matters is how people receive and interpret your words, actions, and positioning. He links influence closely to trust, connection, and storytelling, arguing that everyone is in sales because we are constantly selling ideas, ourselves, or our work, whether we realize it or not. Ashley highlights the power of creative storytelling to build relationships in both business and personal life, and stresses that genuine influence also depends on being an excellent listener—using our “two ears and one mouth” in the right proportion. Throughout, he and Anton use examples like movies, wine, and workshops to illustrate how recommendations and stories shape others’ perceptions and decisions.   Takeaways:   1. Influence is perception-based Ashley defines influence as the perception you create in others—it’s less about what you say about yourself and more about how others receive, interpret, and talk about you when you’re not in the room. 2. Everyone is in sales (whether they know it or not) From coders to executives, everyone is constantly “selling” themselves, their ideas, or their work. Recommendations about movies, books, or restaurants are all everyday examples of selling through enthusiasm and belief. 3. Storytelling and listening are core influence skills Creative storytelling builds connection and trust, but it must be paired with deep listening—using “two ears and one mouth” in proportion—to really understand others’ problems and influence their thinking in a meaningful, respectful way.   Quotes: "I think that influence then is about the perception that people create... you can talk about yourself as much as you want, you can talk about your business as much as you want, but it's really about how other people receive that." "I always say... we're all salesmen, we're all [in sales]... that person at some point had to get the opportunity to be able to write their code, so they sold themselves at some point." "We have two ears and we have one mouth for a reason... you should listen twice as much as what you should speak."   Timeline:   0:00 – 1:20 | Ashley’s definition of influence (perception and trust) Influence as the perception you create in others; trust as a core part of that. 1:20 – 3:56 | Anton’s intro: Leaders of Influence & Ashley’s background Podcast positioning, why influence matters, and Ashley’s corporate/consulting bio. 3:56 – 5:35 | The wine side-hustle story Ashley’s small wine business, being his own best customer, and mixing passion with business. 5:35 – 7:18 | Learning wine by doing & creative outlet Leaving corporate comfort, learning winemaking hands-on, and using wine as a creative outlet. 7:18 – 9:26 | Defining influence: perception created, not words said Ashley explains influence as perception, pitches, and how others talk about you when you’re not in the room. 9:26 – 13:07 | Everyone is in sales (movies, recommendations, and influence) How everyday recommendations are selling; influence in workshops and casual conversations. 13:07 – 15:35 | Storytelling, movie choices & shaping perception Using favorite movies as icebreakers, how your choices create a specific perception. 15:35 – 19:00 | Storytelling, connection, and the power of listening Campfire origins of storytelling, two ears/one mouth, and why listening is a core influence skill. 19:00 – 23:58 | Mentors, stewardship, and long-term influence Ashley’s 17-year mentor story, values, trust, and when the mentor becomes the mentee. 23:58 – 28:21 | Family influence, spouses, and leadership loneliness Influence of parents and partners, feedback from spouses, and how lonely leadership can be. 28:21 – 32:41 | Hospitality leadership and seeking support Influence challenges in hospitality, transient teams, and the need for mentors/peer circles. 32:41 – 35:45 | Pride in others’ growth: mentees and entrepreneurs Stories of people Ashley has mentored, from note-taking lessons to a dance & kids’ science business. 35:45 – 39:13 | People, planning, and performance: the execution triad Right people, clear plan, and actually performing—why execution is where many get stuck. 39:13 – 41:00 | One team, one message: Ashley’s leadership mantra Lessons from elite teams, avoiding silos, and aligning everyone around a simple, shared message. 41:00 – end | Anton’s recap and call to action Summary of key influence ideas, book mention, and how to go deeper with Leaders of Influence.   Conclusion:   This episode centers on Ashley Hayden’s core idea that influence is the perception you create in others, not just the story you tell about yourself. Through examples from consulting, wine-making, and everyday life, Ashley and Anton show that everyone is in sales, constantly “selling” ideas, values, and character in how they show up. They highlight storytelling and deep listening as the practical skills that turn influence into trust and real connection. Ashley’s experiences with mentors, mentees, and hospitality leaders underline that growth comes from supportive relationships, clear plans, and committed execution. The conversation lands on a simple leadership mantra—“one team, one message”—as the anchor for any leader who wants to influence with clarity, consistency, and integrity.

Most Leaders Miss This One Critical Skill with Carol Fox

The conversation centers on leadership, influence, and the pivotal role of coaches and women leaders in sport and beyond. Carol Fox shares how her background as an athlete and swimming/water polo family shaped her views on dedication, mindset, and the importance of nurturing coaching. She defines influence as the impact we have before, during, and after we speak, essentially how people experience us and how they feel after interacting with us, with validation as a core leadership behavior. Carol emphasizes that great coaches and leaders deeply understand the individuals in front of them, adapt their style to different needs, and recognize the ripple effect of their behavior on athletes, teams, families, and communities. A major theme is kindness: Carol’s leadership and parenting mantra is to be kind to yourself and others, challenge negative labels like “difficult,” and consciously choose positive assumptions, especially in the context of increasing women’s representation and visibility in coaching, governance, and sports leadership roles. Takeaways:  Influence is felt, not just heard – Leadership impact comes from how people experience you before, during, and after you speak, especially whether they feel seen, heard, and emotionally validated. Great coaches adapt to the individual – The most effective coaches and leaders take time to understand each person’s needs, mindset, and communication style, then tailor their approach rather than using one style for everyone. Kindness creates powerful ripple effects – Leading with kindness, positive assumptions, and respect—while championing more women in coaching and leadership—quietly shapes cultures, role models, and future generations far beyond the initial interaction. Quotes: "For me, influence is how are people experiencing us, and so that's why a lot of my work is, you know, how are you projecting yourself, and how do people feel when they leave you?" "The most important thing you can do as a leader is to validate the person in front of you, because the experience they're having is real." Timeline: 0:00 – Coaches under pressure – Grassroots coaches juggling athletes, parents, and club politics. 0:47 – Podcast intro & who is Carol Fox? – Anton frames the show and introduces Carol’s leadership and coaching work. 3:42 – 40+ years in sport – Carol’s long career and early life as a swimmer, water polo player, and surf lifesaver. 7:15 – Validation in a post‑pandemic world – Why people need their feelings and stress responses acknowledged. 8:29 – Seen, heard, felt – Different communication styles (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) and why they matter. 9:34 – Self-awareness & situational awareness – Understanding yourself and others to adapt your leadership. 11:22 – Family, Olympians, and early coaches – How Carol’s elite-sport family shaped her mindset and standards. 18:41 – The hidden load of coaching – Parents, committees, politics, and the pressure on (often volunteer) coaches. 20:35 – Small moments of impact – Why Carol treasures quiet feedback from clients years later. 23:24 – The ripple effect of influence – How one coach’s shift changes athletes, families, and communities. 25:27 – Take it on, give it a go, live it – Carol’s three-step approach to applying leadership tools. 26:51 – Women in sport leadership – Why visible female coaches, umpires, and board members matter. 29:26 – Progress and programs for women coaches – Representation stats and initiatives like W32 for 2032. 31:01 – Role models for boys and girls – How both genders benefit from seeing women and men in leadership. 37:30 – How we treat each other matters – Culture cues, from whiteboard slogans to “Believe” signs. 38:09 – Being human and fixing it – We all slip; what matters is noticing, apologizing, and realigning. 40:00 – Anton’s recap of key lessons – Validation, mindset, small moments, and the pebble-in-the-pond metaphor. 41:58 – Carol’s closing message – Be kind, create space, and validate people’s experiences. Conclusion: Carol Fox highlights that real leadership and influence are less about titles and more about how we make others feel—seen, heard, and validated. Through stories from sport, coaching, and governance, Carol shows that the most impactful leaders are those who know themselves, understand the unique people in front of them, and deliberately adapt their communication. Her focus on kindness as a non‑negotiable leadership mantra reminds us that positive assumptions and small, respectful actions can create far-reaching ripple effects. The push for greater representation of women in coaching and sport leadership is not just about fairness; it’s about enriching decision-making and role modeling for the next generation. Ultimately, Carol’s message is that if we choose kindness, validation, and genuine curiosity about others, our influence will extend far beyond what we can ever see.

The One Leadership Quality Everyone Gets Wrong with Denise Mokadsi

This episode of the Leaders of Influence podcast features Denise Mokadsi, a Melbourne-based integrative health practitioner and belief transformation coach who works with midlife women on energy, clarity, and confidence. The conversation centers on influence as the often-invisible forces, external (like social media, family, society) and internal (beliefs, values, meanings) that shape how we think and act. Denise emphasizes that the true power of influence lies in how much meaning we assign to experiences and how consciously we choose what to let affect us, especially in relation to our core values. She also highlights the darker side of influence as manipulation, in which people may be persuaded to act against their values in exchange for validation, success, or material rewards, unless they remain aware of and aligned with what they truly believe. Takeaways: Influence starts internally, not externally – The impact any person, platform, or situation has on us is determined by the meaning we assign to it and how consciously we choose to let it affect us. Life direction is shaped by who we let influence us – Especially when younger and less self-confident, we may over-rely on respected figures (like parents) and pursue paths that fit their view of our strengths rather than our true passions.   Quotes: "The amount of influence that something or someone has on us is only going to be determined by the level of our experience or meaning we give that interaction with someone or something."   Timeline: 0:00 – Opening Reflection on Influence & Leadership 1:13 – Podcast Introduction & Guest Bio 5:46 – The Role of Beliefs in Influence 8:47 – Trading Values for Validation or Success 10:26 – Influence, Values, and Leadership Integrity 13:27 – Returning to Teaching and Coaching 17:23 – The Puzzle Piece Metaphor 23:41 – Belief, Trauma Work, and a Turning Point 24:34 – From Wheelchair to Dancer 28:05 – Leadership and Influence: Why Leaders Matter 32:46 – Borrowing a Leader’s Confidence 33:45 – Host’s Appreciation and Closing on Leadership 34:29 – From Science to Nursing to Education   Conclusion:  Denise shows that influence isn’t something we chase outside ourselves, but something we consciously reclaim from within. By becoming aware of the meanings we attach to experiences and how those meanings shape our values, health choices, and leadership, we regain agency over our direction in life. Her stories, from being steered by others’ expectations to helping her son transform a devastating diagnosis into a dancing future, underline the power of curiosity, self-trust, and aligned action. Listeners are left with a clear invitation: know your values, trust your inner signals, and choose your influences deliberately so you can lead yourself and others with integrity.

Former NRL Star Brent Tate On Staying Mentally Strong After Devastating Injuries

Brent reflects on how his lifelong love of rugby league began in childhood, when his mum signed him up to channel his energy, and how the game shaped his identity, friendships, and career. He and the host explore the idea that influence is primarily about daily behaviors and setting an example, especially for children, teammates, and colleagues, rather than just words or status. Brent also speaks candidly about the pressures of professional sport, the physical toll of repeated serious injuries, and how his resilience and self-talk were tests of character he refused to fail, with support from influential mentors like Wayne Bennett, Craig Bellamy, Mick Devere, and his brother-in-law Steve Price.   Takeaways:    1. Influence is behavior, not title Influence shows up in what you consistently do—your routines, discipline, and how you treat people—more than in what you say or the position you hold. Kids, teammates, and colleagues “watch” you more than they “listen” to you. 2. Resilience is a daily test of character Brent viewed his serious injuries as tests of character he refused to fail. Through self-talk, self-motivation, and disciplined action (showing up to rehab, doing the hard work), he kept coming back, building his “willpower muscle” over time. 3. Great leadership creates belief and clarity Coaches like Wayne Bennett, Ivan Cleary, and Paul Green influenced Brent through structure, clear roles, high standards, and genuine care. Strong leaders give people confidence, clear expectations, and a standard of excellence that lifts performance and culture.   Quotes:   1. On willpower and resilience “Willpower, it's like they say, it's a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets.” Description: Brent sums up his philosophy on resilience here—treating willpower as something you train every day, especially through rehab and setbacks, not something you either “have” or “don’t have.” 2. On what influence really is “When I think about influence, it's behaviors, and people observe and watch behaviors… that's the biggest influence of all, how you act and the behaviors that you display on a daily basis.” Description: This captures the core theme of the episode: influence isn’t about titles or speeches, it’s about the small, consistent actions others see you take. 3. On discipline, standards, and culture “When people talk about culture, culture’s behaviors at the end of the day… if you've got good standards and good behaviors, well, you've got a great culture.” Description: Brent boils “culture” down to something practical and controllable—everyday standards and behaviors—making it highly applicable for both sports teams and organizations.   Timeline: 0:00 – Brent on injuries & self-talk Using setbacks as tests of character, daily self-talk, willpower as a muscle. 1:00 – Podcast intro & Brent’s career highlights Anton introduces the Leaders of Influence / Find Your Influence podcast and runs through Brent’s NRL, Origin, and Test career. 4:00 – How Brent fell in love with rugby league Childhood memory in Toowoomba, mum signing him up, watching Bulldogs vs Wests, and never looking back. 5:40 – Rugby league shaping character and behavior Mum threatening to take league away, behavior turnaround, how the sport set him on a better path. 6:00 – What rugby league has given (and taken) him Friendship circles, providing for family, joy of watching footy, and acknowledging the physical costs. 8:20 – Defining influence: behaviors over words Influence as daily behavior, routines, fitness, and how kids and colleagues copy what you do (“monkey see, monkey do”). 10:30 – Key influences and mentors Wayne Bennett, Craig Bellamy, Mick Devere’s professionalism, and being deliberately paired with disciplined role models. 11:50 – Family influence: Steve Price and support network Emotional reflection on his brother-in-law Steve Price, the importance of good people in your corner. 13:20 – The pressure cooker of professional sport Public scrutiny, constant pressure (e.g., Reece Walsh), and the “rope off the chest” feeling when he retired. 16:00 – The magic of the Maroons jersey What it feels like to run out for Queensland, deep emotional connection to Origin and Suncorp. 17:40 – Injuries, pain, and long-term impact Lasting knee issues, being unable to run, and the physical toll of a long NRL career. 18:20 – Comebacks, mindset, and inner drive Doctors and physios helping, but why the hard work must come from within; seeing rehab as a test of character. 20:00 – Self-influence and mental strength Daily self-talk, self-reassurance, discipline to do the work, and strengthening willpower over time. 21:00 – Stepping into leadership at the Warriors Craving a leadership role, Ivan Cleary pushing him to “find your voice,” calling out soft options. 23:20 – Leadership, confidence, and readiness Moving from being ready to lead to actually speaking up and influencing the group. 23:50 – Senior leadership and parenting as leadership Leadership groups at Warriors and Cowboys; parallels between parenting and leadership. 25:45 – Lessons from great coaches Wayne Bennett’s “better humans make better footballers,” Paul Green’s standards and excellence, and structure and routine. 27:05 – Culture = behaviors and standards Simple definition of culture: daily behavior when people walk through the door; the standards and behaviors that drive performance. 29:10 – Hard work, discomfort, and reward Discipline, early mornings, extra work, and the idea that “nothing worth getting comes easy.” 30:55 – Life after footy and corporate ambitions Enjoying the corporate world, board role at the Cowboys, Fox commentary, and wanting to keep making an impact. 32:00 – Staying connected to the game & media Why staying connected eases retirement, pros and cons of media, and rugby league as entertainment and constant storylines. 33:50 – Host’s recap of influence and leadership themes Anton summarizes Brent’s story, early influences, resilience, leadership lessons, and staying connected to the game. 37:30 – Brent’s closing motivational thoughts Willpower as a muscle, controlling what you can control, and the quotes he lives by. 38:10 – Episode close & call to action Anton’s outro: subscribe, share, and mention of the Leaders of Influence book and framework.   Conclusion:    Brent Tate’s story illustrating how influence, resilience, and discipline play out in real life—not as abstract ideas, but through daily choices. From his mum’s decision to sign him up for rugby league, to mentors like Wayne Bennett, Ivan Cleary, Paul Green, and Steve Price, Brent shows that the right people and standards around you can shape your character and career. His perspective that “willpower is like a muscle” and that culture is simply “behaviors and standards” offers a clear, practical blueprint for leaders in sport, business, and at home. Ultimately, Brent’s journey—from an injured player constantly fighting back to a corporate leader, board member, and commentator—reinforces that nothing truly worth having comes easily, and that we each have more control than we think over the person and leader we become.