We Were a Nice Normal Family with Patricia A. Grenelle, PsyD
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In this deeply personal and emotionally layered episode of Stories, Soul Work & Substack, John Rinaldo sits down with psychologist, author, and trauma survivor Patricia A. Grenell to discuss her memoir We Were a Nice Normal Family — a story that moves beyond appearances and into the hidden realities of childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, survival, and recovery.
What begins as a conversation about writing and Substack slowly unfolds into something much deeper: an honest examination of how trauma shapes identity, relationships, and the lifelong process of understanding ourselves.
Patricia shares the painful truth that for many survivors, abuse does not always look obvious from the outside. Families can appear functional, respectable, and “normal,” while carrying generations of silence and hidden suffering underneath. Her memoir explores the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse, emotional neglect, misogyny, and the psychological weight of living in environments where harmful behavior was ignored, minimized, or normalized.
Throughout the discussion, Patricia explains the difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD (CPTSD), describing how prolonged trauma over time—especially during childhood—creates deep emotional patterns that often follow people into adulthood. She speaks candidly about discovering, through therapy later in life, that many of the struggles she carried were connected to unresolved trauma she had never fully understood.
John and Patricia also explore the cultural realities women faced in earlier generations. Patricia reflects on surviving abusive marriages during a time when divorce carried tremendous shame and women were often expected to stay silent, endure suffering, and remain dependent on men. Her story becomes not only one of trauma recovery, but also one of breaking generational and societal expectations.
The conversation moves through many chapters of Patricia’s life: her military service, her pursuit of higher education despite resistance from others, her work as a forensic psychologist, and her experiences helping people whose own trauma had led them into devastating situations. Rather than offering simplistic answers, Patricia speaks openly about how understanding trauma helped her make sense of patterns in both herself and others.
We Were a Nice Normal Family: A Memoir of Recovery from C-PTSD and the Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse by Patricia Grenelle
One of the most powerful moments of the episode comes when Patricia explains why she finally chose to write her memoir. After years of processing her experiences privately, she realized that many others carried similar pain in silence. Writing became both an act of healing and an act of service. She wanted survivors to understand one important truth:
They are not alone.
John brings empathy and reflection throughout the conversation, connecting Patricia’s story to broader themes of self-awareness, emotional triggers, relationships, and the quiet courage required to confront the past honestly. The episode becomes less about diagnosis and more about humanity—the complicated ways people survive, adapt, and eventually learn how to return to themselves.
This is not an easy conversation, but it is an important one.
It is about survival.About voice.About truth.And about the long, quiet work of healing after a lifetime of carrying things no child should ever have to carry.
Patricia also encourages people to support organizations that help survivors of trauma, abuse, and childhood neglect, including;
* RAINN [https://rainn.org]
* CPTSD Foundation [https://cptsdfoundation.org]
* American Society for the Positive Care of Children [https://americanspcc.org]
* Take Back the Night [https://takebackthenight.org]
Groups dedicated to healing, advocacy, education, and support for those navigating trauma and recovery.
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About the Author
The Positive Pen by John Rinaldo is a weekly publication centered on soul work, reflection, and the quiet process of becoming. Through honest writing and lived experience, he explores what it means to grow, endure, and find your voice.
He also hosts the live podcast The Positive Pen: Stories, Soul Work & Substack [https://rinaldoj.substack.com/podcast], where writers, authors, and artists share their journeys through meaningful, real conversations. The show airs every Monday at 4 PM EST.
John is currently working on Ciao Bella: Forgotten in the Shadows [https://rinaldoj.substack.com/s/the-hole], a documentary project telling the story of Italian families who, during World War II, risked everything to help Jewish families escape to safety across the Alps.
© 2026 John V. Rinaldo. All rights reserved.
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