The Sage Sorority

episode 064 - relationships aren't graded solely by outcome

19 min · 21. mai 2026
episode episode 064 - relationships aren't graded solely by outcome cover

Beskrivelse

There's a question that comes up every time someone mentions an ex at dinner: "Where is he now?" And what that question is really doing is asking you to justify whether the relationship was worth having based on how it ended. If there's no ring, no forever, no clean resolution then the whole thing gets filed under wasted time. This episode is a direct challenge to that framing. Shantel breaks down why measuring a relationship by its outcome is not just unhelpful, it actively strips you of your own power. A relationship that ended is not evidence of failure. Presence, growth, vulnerability, and the version of yourself you became inside that chapter (!!!) none of that disappears because someone left. This one covers the narrative most women inherit without questioning, what it actually means to take sovereignty over your own relationship history, the difference between accountability and self-blame, and why grieving a relationship is not the same as admitting you wasted time. If you've ever described a past relationship as a waste, or felt embarrassed about how long you stayed, or quietly wondered whether your past counts, this episode is for you. -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/ 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

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episode episode 065 - ask a sage vol. 4: networking, career emptiness and a dating spiral cover

episode 065 - ask a sage vol. 4: networking, career emptiness and a dating spiral

Ask a Sage is back. Three questions, three honest answers. We cover why networking feels gross and how to fix it, what to do when you've achieved everything you wanted and still feel empty (and yes, I mention Stefanie Sword-Williams' Career Comedown — read it), and the "fine but I feel nothing" dating pattern that more of you are experiencing than you'd think. I also open up about where I'm at with the pod right now — the slow build, the burnout, the inputs not matching the outputs. If you're building something and it's taking longer than you planned for, this one's for you too. Anonymous question link in the show notes. Send yours through. -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/ 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

I går37 min
episode episode 064 - relationships aren't graded solely by outcome cover

episode 064 - relationships aren't graded solely by outcome

There's a question that comes up every time someone mentions an ex at dinner: "Where is he now?" And what that question is really doing is asking you to justify whether the relationship was worth having based on how it ended. If there's no ring, no forever, no clean resolution then the whole thing gets filed under wasted time. This episode is a direct challenge to that framing. Shantel breaks down why measuring a relationship by its outcome is not just unhelpful, it actively strips you of your own power. A relationship that ended is not evidence of failure. Presence, growth, vulnerability, and the version of yourself you became inside that chapter (!!!) none of that disappears because someone left. This one covers the narrative most women inherit without questioning, what it actually means to take sovereignty over your own relationship history, the difference between accountability and self-blame, and why grieving a relationship is not the same as admitting you wasted time. If you've ever described a past relationship as a waste, or felt embarrassed about how long you stayed, or quietly wondered whether your past counts, this episode is for you. -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/ 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

21. mai 202619 min
episode episode 063 - misbehave with integrity cover

episode 063 - misbehave with integrity

In this episode of The Sage Sorority, Shantel explores what it means for women to “misbehave with integrity,” inspired by Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ The Late Bloomer. This episode is about good girl conditioning, people-pleasing, self-trust, over-functioning, emotional labour, and the quiet resentment that builds when women keep choosing propriety over honesty. Shantel unpacks the difference between being proper and being ethical, why women often delay decisions they’ve already made, and why acting without cruelty, manipulation, or deliberate harm may be the permission you’ve been waiting for. Topics include: Good girl conditioning, People-pleasing and resentment Self-trust and decision-making, Emotional labour in relationships Over-functioning in friendships, family, work, and dating Why “I should” keeps women stuck, Becoming less likeable but more honest Referenced in this episode: The Late Bloomer by Clarissa Pinkola Estés Women Who Run With the Wolves [Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés] by Clarissa Pinkola Estés [Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés] Episode 012: Big Energy, No Apology Episode 027: The Rules Are Made Up Episode 038: The Rebrand Era If this episode resonated, share it with a friend and subscribe to The Sage Sorority on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority]

14. mai 202624 min
episode episode 062 - how to choose your core values and actually live by them cover

episode 062 - how to choose your core values and actually live by them

In this episode of The Sage Sorority, Shantel breaks down how to choose your core values and actually live by them, drawing on the values clarification work used in therapy and coaching. You'll learn the difference between values, goals, preferences, and aesthetics, why your real values are revealed by your trade-offs, and how to use a six-to-eight value framework as a practical filter for decisions in friendship, dating, work, money, and creativity. If you've ever felt the gap between who you say you are and what your choices keep revealing, this is the episode that helps you name what matters and build from there. LIST OF VALUES 1 - https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/ LIST OF VALUES 2 (also some great exercises in this one!) - https://taproot.com/live-your-core-values-exercise-to-increase-your-success/ want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

7. mai 202636 min
episode episode 061 - belle burden, emma grede and the one thing nobody is talking about cover

episode 061 - belle burden, emma grede and the one thing nobody is talking about

Three episodes. Three completely different topics. And the whole time I kept thinking: why does this all feel like the same conversation? Belle Burden knew before she signed that prenup. Most of us know long before we end a friendship. And Emma Grede? She's getting dragged online for simply trusting herself out loud. Today I'm naming the one thing that connects all three, and why it matters more than any of us want to admit. We're talking about what happens in the gap between knowing something and actually trusting it. Why that gap is costing women more than they realise. And why a woman who has closed that gap completely, like Emma, makes so many people deeply uncomfortable. If you've been listening all month, this is where it all lands. If you're new here, welcome. You found a good one. -- want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

30. april 202617 min