When Grief Comes Home

How To Support Your Child Through Grief

Grief changes a family’s whole weather system, and parenting through it can feel impossible when you’re trying to protect a child while you’re hurting too. We sit down with Dr. Pamela Gabbay, author of Understanding and Supporting Bereaved Children, to get practical, field-tested guidance on what grieving kids and teens actually need and what adults often get wrong when they’re trying to help. We talk about why listening is a grief skill, and how one small shift in language can open a door. Dr. Gabbay explains why “How are you feeling?” can backfire, and offers gentler prompts like “I’m wondering what you’re wondering” and “What are you stressed about?” We unpack the myth that kids must talk to heal, and why observing peers, play, art, and simple presence can be just as therapeutic in child grief support. The conversation also explores how children’s grief evolves across developmental stages, why military family bereavement can be uniquely complex due to relocation, wartime death, and PTSD, and how parents can care for themselves without hiding their pain. We share trusted grief resources and communities such as TAPS Care Groups, The Compassionate Friends, and Soaring Spirits, plus what makes grief camps so powerful for connection and belonging. We close with hope, including post-traumatic growth and the ways support programs can plant seeds that show up years later. If this helped, subscribe, share it with someone who’s carrying loss at home, and leave a rating and review so more grieving parents can find the support they deserve. TAPS: https://www.taps.org/ [https://www.taps.org/] The Compassionate Friends: https://www.compassionatefriends.org/  [https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ ] Soaring Spirits: https://soaringspirits.org/ [https://soaringspirits.org/] Order the book Understanding and Supporting Bereaved Children: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Supporting-Bereaved-Children-Professionals/dp/0826140483 [https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Supporting-Bereaved-Children-Professionals/dp/0826140483] Order the book When Grief Comes Home: https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L [https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L] Jessica's House Resources: https://www.jessicashouse.org/resources [https://www.jessicashouse.org/resources] Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2396730/fan_mail/new] For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org  [https://www.jessicashouse.org/]

Northing Is Wasted: Part 2 - Davey Blackburn

The hardest losses do not stay neatly private, and when grief becomes public it can feel like you are bleeding in front of a crowd. We sit down again with Davey Blackburn to talk about what happens when a homicide shatters your family and the world has opinions, theories, and headlines. This conversation includes a content warning, because parts of Davey’s story involve the murder of his wife Amanda and their unborn child, yet it also holds real hope for parents who feel like they will never breathe normally again. We dig into the complexity of grieving under scrutiny, including the unexpected “advantages” of people rallying around you and the crushing disadvantages of being on display in the worst moment of your life. Davey shares what it was like to live through a legal process that dragged on for years, how delays and mistrials can keep trauma reopened, and why someone told him to settle things in his heart before they were ever settled in a courtroom. We also get practical about the lifelong nature of grief: you do not get over it, you learn to carry it. We talk triggers, anniversaries, the random moments that knock the wind out of you, and why “I shouldn’t feel this” adds unnecessary suffering. Then we move into a tender topic many parents wrestle with quietly: remarriage, blended family life, and learning to embrace joy while still honoring the person who died. Davey also explains the mission behind Nothing Is Wasted, including coaching, online community, and the Pain to Purpose course designed to help people heal in supportive groups. If you’re looking for grief support resources, we point you toward options through Jessica’s House and the National Alliance for Children’s Grief. Subscribe, share this with a parent who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find this podcast. Nothing is Wasted: https://www.nothingiswasted.com/ [https://www.nothingiswasted.com/] Order the book When Grief Comes Home: https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L [https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L] Jessica's House Resources: https://www.jessicashouse.org/resources [https://www.jessicashouse.org/resources] Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2396730/fan_mail/new] For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org  [https://www.jessicashouse.org/]

Nothing Is Wasted: Part 1 - Davey Blackburn

A random, shuffled worship song becomes a turning point in a story no family ever wants to live. We sit down with pastor and author Davey Blackburn to talk about the murder of his wife Amanda and their unborn child during a home invasion, and the complicated road that followed. This conversation includes details that may be hard to hear, but it also holds steady focus on grief, faith, and the long work of healing. Davey opens up about the kind of shock that scrambles your senses, your expectations, and even your beliefs about how the world works. We talk about the questions that show up after traumatic loss, especially the ones that don’t resolve with a neat answer: Why didn’t God protect her? Can I still trust God’s goodness? Instead of pushing those questions down, we explore lament and what Davey calls “wrestling with God,” a practice that makes room for honesty without walking away. We also get deeply practical about parenting through loss. How do you keep a parent’s memory alive for a child without forcing your grief onto them? What do you do when questions come out of nowhere in the car ride to school? Davey shares tools shaped by lived experience and widower support work, including a simple “yellow card” idea that gives kids a concrete way to ask for time and attention when words feel too big. If you’re looking for grief support, child bereavement resources, and trauma-informed guidance that respects both pain and hope, press play. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and please rate and review so more grieving families can find the show. Nothing is Wasted: https://www.nothingiswasted.com/ [https://www.nothingiswasted.com/] Order the book When Grief Comes Home: https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L [https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L] Jessica's House Resources: https://www.jessicashouse.org/resources [https://www.jessicashouse.org/resources] Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2396730/fan_mail/new] For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org  [https://www.jessicashouse.org/]

The Griever's Calendar

Some of the hardest grief days aren’t circled on anyone’s holiday planner. We’ve learned from parents that the calendar can ambush you with emotion on days you never expected: the first New Year’s Day without them, a Super Bowl Sunday that used to be full of laughter, an April Fools moment that makes you wish it were all a prank, or even Tax Day when paperwork forces you to face a new identity. We walk through the Griever’s Calendar and explain why these “ordinary” dates can hit so hard when you’re parenting through loss. Erin shares a personal story about the first Fourth of July after her husband Tyler died and how missing roles, routines, and simple support can turn a family tradition into a day that feels overwhelming. Colleen adds what we see in grief groups at Jessica’s House, including how different seasons affect different families and why triggers can stack up when anniversaries, birthdays, and floating holidays collide. Along the way, we offer practical grief support for widowed parents and bereaved families: name what’s coming so it’s less shocking, talk with your kids about what they want, keep traditions if they help, change them if you need to, and scale things down without guilt. We also touch on when it makes sense to outsource stressful tasks and how to honor your limits while you find a new rhythm. If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with a parent who might need it, and leave a rating and review so more families can find support. What date on the calendar feels hardest for you right now? Resources: The Griever's Calendar [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HRv1g6peXDmarJJU6SPBJRgzc0lU2FMs/view?usp=sharing] Jessica's House Resources [https://www.jessicashouse.org/resources] Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2396730/fan_mail/new] For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org  [https://www.jessicashouse.org/]

Expressing Your Grief Through the Arts

Grief often steals our words, but the body keeps speaking. We open up about how loss rewires the nervous system, why kids struggle to “talk it out,” and what actually helps: safety you can feel, choices that restore control, and creative expression that carries what language can’t. With Erin Nelson and Colleen Montague from Jessica’s House, we break down the brain science in plain terms and show how warm light, soft seating, and even dinner can tell the body it’s safe enough to heal. From there, we get practical. You’ll learn how to co-regulate before you communicate, using simple tools like 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 grounding, cross-body tapping, side-to-side swaying, weighted blankets, and sensory anchors like sour candy or an ice cube. We step outside, too—leaf hunts, star gazing, and lavender rubs make nature a ready-made regulation kit. For kids stuck in anger or freeze, we demonstrate safe outlets that match big energy: a DIY scream box, pool noodles, throwing ice, wall pushes, heavy lifts, stomps, and paper tears that transition into slower, calming motions. Art becomes the bridge. Sand trays, blocks, drums, watercolors, clay, and quick scribbles let children tell complex stories without direct questions. “Colors of My Heart” invites mixed emotions to sit side by side. We model “sports casting” to witness play without judgment, and we take on the inner critic so creativity stays about process, not perfection. Along the way, we share what years in peer support have taught us: when kids have agency, adults show calm, and environments feel safe, expression turns pain into meaning. If this conversation helps, please follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a rating and review so more grieving families can find us. For free resources or to reach out, visit jessicashouse.org and email your questions to info@jessicashouse.org. Order the book When Grief Comes Home https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L [https://a.co/d/ijaiP5L] Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2396730/fan_mail/new] For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org  [https://www.jessicashouse.org/]