LIES!

The BMOW of the Watch

A BMOW is the Boatswain’s Mate of the Watch—the sailor responsible for keeping things moving, maintaining order, and making sure the ship stays squared away. B-MO, however, hears “B-MO of the Watch” and immediately assumes the Navy has finally recognized his natural command ability. Armed with confidence, questionable terminology, and absolutely no official authority, he is fully prepared to confront suspicious sand pigeons, hostile water pigeons, unauthorized camels, and any broom that has not been properly manned.

NOBODY PREPARED US FOR THIS

Last Time - The harsh realities of growing older!

Green Flags and Autographs

Last Time - Digital green flags that matter to women in Mississippi and Breck's first autograph!

Please Just Squeeze

Last Time - A viral NeeDoh squishy-toy trend has parents asking why anyone thought microwaving, freezing, boiling, baking, grilling, air-frying, or otherwise treating a stress toy like dinner prep was a good idea. B-MO and Ash break down the warning-label madness with one simple message: squeeze it, don’t cook it — and for the love of common sense, stop letting TikTok supervise science experiments.

Last Time - The Slow-Speed Getaway

A Pasadena bank robbery turned into one of those stories where the headline does half the comedy for you. Police say a man using a wheelchair went into a First Citizens Bank on South Lake Avenue, handed the teller a note claiming he had a gun, kept one hand in his pocket, and left with a few thousand dollars — no weapon was seen, nobody was hurt, and officers still hadn’t found him after canvassing the area.