Ep. 252: Death Doula Martha Jo Atkins on the Language of Dying, What Happens After & Finding Peace at End of Life

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Episode: Martha Jo Atkins — The Language of Dying What does it feel like to be with someone as they leave this world? Death doula, psychotherapist, and end-of-life specialist Martha Jo Atkins has spent 35+ years answering that question — and she joins Zach for one of the most profound conversations this show has ever had. Martha Jo has been present for more than a thousand deaths. She's watched people reach for loved ones no one else can see. She's heard patients narrate their own journey through doors, ladders, and lights in the ceiling. She's received phone calls — in her dreams — from people who've passed. And she's found a way to hold all of it with grace, curiosity, and zero BS. In this episode: * How losing her brother Jim at 24 sent Martha Jo toward a life's work in death and dying * What the "language of dying" actually sounds like — and why most families miss it * The phenomenon of "friendlies": spirits that appear to the dying before they recognize anyone * Why hearing is believed to be the last sense to go — and what that means for the people left in the room * Terminal lucidity: when someone who hasn't communicated in years suddenly comes back — and then quietly goes * The story of the woman who died smiling, and the three people in the same room who all saw light in the ceiling * Butch and the ladders — one of Martha Jo's most unforgettable bedside stories * What Martha Jo believes actually happens when we die: "the balloon pops, and we go everywhere" * Her evolving views on heaven, hell, and reincarnation — and why she's okay not having all the answers * Medical aid in dying: where it's legal, who it helps, and the complicated grief it leaves behind * What it means to be a gay death doula — and why LGBTQ+ people deserve end-of-life care that truly sees them * Dreams, visitations, and the phone calls that wake Martha Jo up at 5am Zach also gets personal — sharing stories about his father's death, the picture that flew through the shower curtain, six photos that flipped at once, and how a dream from his aunt convinced him to quit smoking for good. Connect with Martha Jo: 🌐 MarthaJoAtkins.com [https://marthajoatkins.com/] 📺 TEDx Talk: The Language of Dying (2M+ views) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg8WAv0YT9c [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg8WAv0YT9c] If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who needs it. Subscribe, rate, and review — it means everything. See you next episode. Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com] Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 261: The Gay Bit: Tank Tops, Drag Race & Things This Gay Man Does NOT Like

It's Friday, which means it's time for The Gay Bit — and this week, Zach is doing a full-on opinion dump on the things he absolutely cannot stand. If your podcast week wasn't gay enough, buckle up. Zach kicks things off with his deeply held conviction that tank tops are the enemy of civilization. Sweaty underarms, deodorant balls, and terrible fit — he's making the case that the world would be a better place without them. (Yes, even on hot guys at the gym.) From there, he shares the surprisingly wholesome origin story of how a TSA confiscation at the airport turned him into a lifelong Secret deodorant convert — and he has zero regrets. Then it's on to the cultural hot takes: Zach confesses he has never been able to get through more than an episode or two of RuPaul's Drag Race, despite genuinely loving drag queens. (The corny judge commentary is just not it.) Meanwhile, Andrew is out here sending him cat videos and Family Guy clips on a daily basis, and Zach is barely surviving. Circuit parties get their moment in the crosshairs, too — Zach traces his history with White Party and Winter Party in Miami and arrives at the same conclusion he always has: not for him, and he's not sure anyone under 40 is rushing to disagree. The episode takes a wonderfully chaotic detour through Provincetown — the full P-Town gay vacation routine from Joe's Coffee to Tea Dance to Spiritus Pizza — and Zach's honest assessment of what it means if you still can't meet someone after working through literally every opportunity the town has to offer. Then there's the beach, Speedos, and the nude beach. Zach traces his childhood Speedo trauma (courtesy of his mom, who put him and his brother in them at Larry & Penny Thompson Park in sixth grade — and yes, someone he later became friends with saw it), explains why he hasn't gone in the ocean since learning about barracudas and gold jewelry, and lovingly describes the very different beach philosophies of his mom (shells and peace), his husband Andrew (nude and free), and himself (pool, frozen margarita, SPF, umbrella, goodbye). The whole episode wraps with a story about a guy at a Dallas bar with a very specific kink involving underarms and pubic hair — and Zach's completely understandable reaction to the whole thing. It's unfiltered, it's funny, and it's exactly what The Gay Bit is for. Episode Notes: * Tank tops: a wrongful cultural institution * How a TSA confiscation made Zach a Secret deodorant convert for life * RuPaul's Drag Race — great queens, could do without everything else * Andrew's algorithm is 90% cats and 10% Family Guy clips * Circuit parties: are they still a thing, and does Gen Z care? * The full Provincetown gay vacation itinerary, including Spiritus Pizza as a last resort * Speedo trauma courtesy of Zach's mom, sixth grade, and a water park in Miami * Why Zach won't go in the ocean (barracudas + gold necklace = no) * The pool vs. the beach vs. the nude beach: three very different people in Zach's life * That guy at the Dallas bar and his very unusual interests * Canyon Ranch dreams vs. $21,000 reality checks 🎙️ Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay drops new episodes throughout the week, with The Gay Bit every Friday — a little more unfiltered, a little more chaotic, and exactly as gay as advertised. 👉 Subscribe, leave a rating and review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear Zach's definitive take on tank tops. 📲 Follow Zach on Instagram: @TheRealZachRE Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com] Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

10. Juli 202624 min

Ep. 252: Death Doula Martha Jo Atkins on the Language of Dying, What Happens After & Finding Peace at End of Life

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