Why I Gave my Dog a Hand Job

ASMR Bedtime Stories

Thirty days. Six dates. One thunderstorm. Chelsea finally spent the night and she's reporting back on everything. He had two candles going (one that sounds like a campfire), a playlist titled "Sex" that ChatGPT built for 49-year-olds, carried her to the bedroom, and woke up spooning until 9am. She went in sober so she could remember all of it. Then they went to Snooze for breakfast, ordered bacon cooked to their exact specifications, and shared strawberry shortcake pancakes. Chelsea is adored and she knows it.  Plus he guy who keeps canceling and thinks he's testing her, Lindsay cries about the podcast and gets talked off the ledge, and a very important Motrin conversation. Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/support] Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com [https://thehonestlypodcast.com/] IG: @honestlysmartless [https://instagram.com/honestlysmartless] TikTok: @honestlysmartless [https://tiktok.com/@honestlysmartless] Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano [https://www.instagram.com/chelsea_turano/?hl=en] Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr [https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.lindsayregehr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] YouTube:  Honestly Smartless [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmZ_n83ryvtz0v793mAjAgA]

Memorial Day: Panic Attack at 6AM, a Child We Didn't Plan For & Sand in our Pants

At 11:30 Thursday night, someone said "pack your bags, we're going to Santa Fe" and somehow it worked.  Chelsea and Lindsay recap their Memorial Day weekend road trip: a six-hour drive with a road trip game, a wet blanket who became a full participant once his best friend got involved, a last-minute room booking panic, a 7-year-old who didn't speak (lucky), five people nearly sharing one room, and Chelsea almost refusing to get out of the car at the sand dunes they drove hours to see.  513 photos taken, 511 of Chelsea, one perfectly edited photo that turned out to be the wrong person, and the new travel standard: an Amex black card concierge who plans everything so you don't have to think. Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/support] Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com [https://thehonestlypodcast.com/] IG: @honestlysmartless [https://instagram.com/honestlysmartless] TikTok: @honestlysmartless [https://tiktok.com/@honestlysmartless] Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano [https://www.instagram.com/chelsea_turano/?hl=en] Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr [https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.lindsayregehr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] YouTube:  Honestly Smartless [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmZ_n83ryvtz0v793mAjAgA]

Penis Pumps ft. Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard

Bobby Lee. Two makeouts. Front row. In front of everyone.  Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay are joined by Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard — a Wisconsin podcast duo born out of steak nights, Leinenkugels, and too much free time during a pandemic.  Dimples and Beard spent three nights at the Comedy Store in LA (8pm to 2am like absolute lunatics), walked away with a Bobby Lee makeout story, a Polly Shore hug on video, and a front-row review of Dane Cook's current state (verdict: rough).  Why comedians are bad podcast guests, the penis pump bathtub ad read that got them dropped by a sponsor, getting ghosted by no-show guests, Chelsea's gold digging stand-up bit, how Lindsay and Chelsea got fired together from a chiropractor's office and never looked back, Dean's grandpa reveal, and why Wisconsin is apparently where values still live. Watch Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbo2frUM03BMQ5zf6qbQvww] Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/support] Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com [https://thehonestlypodcast.com/] IG: @honestlysmartless [https://instagram.com/honestlysmartless] TikTok: @honestlysmartless [https://tiktok.com/@honestlysmartless] Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano [https://www.instagram.com/chelsea_turano/?hl=en] Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr [https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.lindsayregehr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] YouTube:  Honestly Smartless [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmZ_n83ryvtz0v793mAjAgA]

Cinco de Mayo, Cocaine Confetti & the Guy Who Still Uses "Magic Stick" in 2026

A man offered Chelsea Aspen, Portugal and a yacht this summer. He is not younger or hotter, but Lindsay thinks she can get over that. Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay catch up on two weeks of chaos.  -Two Friends EDM show at Red Rocks where they felt ancient and 16-year-old who came for them -Summer season situation where a well-connected older gentleman wants a plus one for every bougie event in Denver, except he knows her ex, her ex knows everyone in Denver, and no one will come near her because of it -New neighbor who is a retired tech millionaire, social work major, lives within walking distance, and had the audacity to be more attractive on the second date. -"Healer" at work told Lindsay she's a people pleaser with low self worth (she is not).  -Cinco de Mayo group who did cocaine all over the bathroom, and one of them was crying because she had an abortion scheduled for noon the next day Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/support] Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com [https://thehonestlypodcast.com/] IG: @honestlysmartless [https://instagram.com/honestlysmartless] TikTok: @honestlysmartless [https://tiktok.com/@honestlysmartless] Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano [https://www.instagram.com/chelsea_turano/?hl=en] Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr [https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.lindsayregehr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] YouTube:  Honestly Smartless [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmZ_n83ryvtz0v793mAjAgA]

Viral Cheer Dad, Latin Teacher & Full-Time Comedian: Jay Yoder Origin Story

He started comedy at 38, made $7 at his first show, framed it, and now women are running across ESPN Wide World of Sports screaming his name for a photo. Jay Yoder is that guy. Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay sit down with comedian, viral cheer dad, former Latin teacher, and all-around big deal Jay Yoder for a conversation that covers everything.  -How he quit teaching after 21 years when the school refused to give him six days off -How a merch table rant at Cheer Nationals turned into 60,000 followers -Why his daughter Alicia, who is autistic, writes most of his best material without even trying They get into the ugly side of female comedy (being told to look uglier on stage), why retarded jokes are lazy and not funny, naked comedy shows in New York, the Venmo-first approach to hecklers, edibles at Red Rocks, Gilmore Girls in a haunted Indiana hotel, and why the universe starts delivering the second you stop making excuses. Also, his daughter's response to "if all your friends jumped off a bridge" is genuinely unwritable. Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1828593/support] Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com [https://thehonestlypodcast.com/] IG: @honestlysmartless [https://instagram.com/honestlysmartless] TikTok: @honestlysmartless [https://tiktok.com/@honestlysmartless] Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano [https://www.instagram.com/chelsea_turano/?hl=en] Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr [https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.lindsayregehr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] YouTube:  Honestly Smartless [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmZ_n83ryvtz0v793mAjAgA]