SOLVED with Mark Manson

Is Love Overrated?

We put love on trial — literally. Drew and I squared off in a full debate over whether romantic love is overrated. I made the case that love is basically your brain's con man, a neurochemical hijacking designed to make you delusional about deeply flawed people, and that the most intoxicating relationships are often the most toxic. Drew fought back with the evidence that love is the foundation of social infrastructure, physical health, and long-term happiness. By the end, we came to a gentlemen’s agreement: a framework that explains why we're all chasing the wrong kind of love, and what the right kind actually looks like. - Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://membership.solvedpodcast.com [https://membership.solvedpodcast.com] - Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough [https://markmanson.net/breakthrough] - Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get 7 days free at https://www.purpose.app [https://www.purpose.app] Check out our sponsors: IM8: Transform your daily routine with IM8's Daily Ultimate Essentials at https://www.im8health.com/solved [https://www.im8health.com/solved] Factor: Head to https://www.factormeals.com/solved202650off [https://www.factormeals.com/solved202650off] and use code solved202650off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor. Chapters 0:00 Introduction 2:21 Round 1: Love is the Brain's Conman 23:33 Round 2: Love as Social Infrastructure 45:33 Round 3: Love and Happiness 1:07:14 Round 4: We're Drawn to People Who Hurt Us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Solved Highlight: The Real Reason You Procrastinate

This is a segment from the full episode on procrastination. Procrastination isn't a time management problem — it's an emotional regulation problem, and once you see that, everything changes. We break down how your brain uses avoidance as a mood-management strategy, why every philosopher from Plato to the Buddhists was partially right (but nobody had the full picture), and the specific internal and external levers you can pull to actually get shit done. We also run through the six types of procrastinators so you can figure out which flavor of self-sabotage you've been perfecting — plus the RAIN method, minimum viable actions, and why making boring things fun isn't just a nice idea, it's the whole game. We also put together a free companion guide for the full episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/procrastination [https://solvedpodcast.com/procrastination] - Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/ [https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/] - Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough [https://markmanson.net/breakthrough] - Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get 7 days free at ⁠https://www.purpose.app⁠ [https://www.purpose.app] Amazing Offers From Our Sponsor: Boost your focus with science-backed music from Brain.fm. Start your 30-day free trial at brain.fm/solved [brain.fm/solved] Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 1:44 Understanding Emotional Regulation 9:34 The RAIN Method 14:04 The Six Types of Procrastinators 23:09 The 80-20 of Procrastination 43:39 Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Dating, Solved: Why Finding the “Right Person” Feels So Hard Now

Most people aren’t bad at dating, they’re just trying to solve the wrong problem. We treat dating like a personality test (“Am I attractive enough? Confident enough?”) when it’s actually a multi-stage process, and each stage punishes completely different mistakes. That one misunderstanding explains why dating feels so confusing, why men and women keep blaming each other, why dating apps feel brutal, and why so much dating advice makes things worse instead of better. In this episode of Solved, Drew and I break down why modern dating feels so broken, and why it actually isn’t. We dig into the evolutionary psychology behind attraction, why men and women are optimizing for different things, how modern culture and dating apps amplify the worst parts of the system, and the three stages of dating that almost nobody understands. We also talk about confidence, rejection, status, attraction, and why avoiding rejection is often the very thing sabotaging your dating life. If you’ve felt stuck, burned out, or quietly wondering “what the hell is wrong with dating?” — this episode is for you. - Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: ⁠https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/⁠ [https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/] - Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁠ [https://markmanson.net/breakthrough] - Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get 7 days free at ⁠⁠https://www.purpose.app⁠⁠ [https://www.purpose.app] Check out our sponsors: - Get your first month of Shopify for only $1 at https://shopify.com/solved [https://shopify.com/solved] - Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Sign up for free: ⁠https://www.rocketmoney.com/solved [https://www.rocketmoney.com/solved] Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 5:12 Chapter 1: Why Is Dating So Complicated? 11:03 The different challenges men and women face 17:18 Facts 29:51 What Women Find Attractive 38:16 What Men Find Attractive 51:27 Chapter 2: A Brief History of Courtship & Dating 1:06:10 Modern Dating 1:11:41 A Glimmer of Hope: The emerging offline renaissance 1:21:37 Chapter 3: Men's and Women's Dating Advice Ecosystems 1:31:13 Inside the Male Advice Ecosystem 1:44:52 Inside the Female Advice Ecosystem 2:02:07 The Collision: Feedback Loops That Break the Market 2:21:27 Chapter 4: The Pre-Dating Phase 2:36:22 Building Confidence 2:37:59 Halo Effect 2:53:20 Conclusion Pre Dating 2:57:48 Chapter 5: Meeting People and Getting Dates 3:11:17 Flirting 3:23:15 Reading People 3:29:51 Chapter 6: Going on Dates 3:38:39 Trustworthiness 3:47:09 Conversational Skills 3:56:12 Emotional Regulation 4:03:03 Boundaries 4:09:07 F**k yes or no 4:14:44 The 80/20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How to Quiet Your Ego (Without Losing Yourself)

Most people think ego is either something you need to kill off entirely or inflate to take over the world. Both are wrong. In this episode, we dig deep into what ego actually is—how it evolved, why it matters, and how it secretly runs your life without you realizing it. We hit Freud, Buddhism, David Hume, Jung’s shadow self, and even the Navy SEALs to unpack why your ego isn’t always the enemy—it’s mostly just misunderstood. Then we get into how to quiet your ego without losing your identity, and yes, we talk psychedelics, too. This is everything you were never taught about ego—but should’ve been. Check out our sponsors: - Head to https://www.80000hours.org/solved [https://www.80000hours.org/solved] to start planning a career that is meaningful, fulfilling, and helps solve one of the world’s most pressing problems. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/ego [https://solvedpodcast.com/ego] - Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: ⁠https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/⁠ [https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/] - Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁠ [https://markmanson.net/breakthrough] - Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get 7 days free at ⁠⁠https://www.purpose.app⁠⁠ [https://www.purpose.app] Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 3:31 Chapter 1: Defining the Indefinable — What Is the Ego? 3:33 Napoleon + Gary Snyder 10:15 The Architecture and Function of the Ego 27:15 What is a Healthy Ego? 36:14 The Philosophical Divide: Two Cultures, Two Selves 49:29 Chapter 2: The Ego’s Evolutionary Architecture — How Evolution Built the Self 49:33 Why Evolution Invented “I” 51:46 The Architecture of the Ego: From Refl ex to Reflection 1:00:33 The First Fall: When Knowing Became Our Burden 1:09:07 Why Evolution Built the Ego 1:13:08 Chapter 3: When the Ego Becomes a Tyrant 1:13:20 The Anatomy of Ego Tyranny 1:19:05 Recognizing and Disarming the Inner Dictator 1:47:29 Chapter 4: The Quiet Ego — Beyond a Strong Ego 1:47:34 When Quieter Means Stronger 1:50:58 The Science and Structure of the Quiet Ego 1:57:16 Cultivating a Quiet Ego 2:01:08 Benefits of a Quiet Ego 2:04:27 Chapter 5: The Chemical Dissolution: Ego Death and Psychedelics 2:23:16 Chapter 6: 80/20 shkECPrjbjEMTBrJsUFw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Boundaries, Solved: How to Set (And Keep) Your Boundaries This Year

This is probably the most comprehensive, no-BS breakdown of boundaries you're going to find anywhere. We cover what boundaries actually are (spoiler: it’s not just telling people to f*ck off), why they matter more than you think, and how your entire life—your relationships, mental health, identity, even career—is quietly shaped by whether or not you have them. By the end of this, you’ll know exactly how to set boundaries, how to enforce them without being a jerk, and how to stop confusing your preferences, rules, and passive-aggressive texts for actual emotional maturity. Plus, we talk about how the internet has totally mangled this concept and what to do instead. If you’ve ever felt burned out, resentful, overwhelmed, or just vaguely annoyed by everyone around you, this is for you. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/boundaries [https://solvedpodcast.com/boundaries] - Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/boundaries [https://findmomentum.com/boundaries] - Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁠ [https://markmanson.net/breakthrough] - Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get 7 days free at ⁠⁠https://www.purpose.app⁠⁠ [https://www.purpose.app] Chapters: (0:00) Introduction (1:29) CHAPTER 1: Foundations of Boundaries (2:05) The Breakdown: What boundaries actually are (and aren’t) (4:42) The Spectrum: Porous, Rigid, Healthy (9:06) Boundaries vs. Values, Rules, Preferences, and Requests (13:32) What happens when boundaries erode? (18:46) The Solution: Boundaries as structure and freedom (22:57) CHAPTER 2: Boundaries: Freedom Through Limitation (25:09) Creativity with Limitations (29:15) Mental Health and Limitations (38:53) Example (42:54) Boundaries and Maturity (45:20) CHAPTER 3: Why Boundaries Matter (50:00) The Basis of Boundary Formation: Values (58:30) Translating Values into Boundaries (1:04:06) The Application: Living Your Valued Boundaries (1:10:14) CHAPTER 4: Why We Fail to Set and Maintain Boundaries (1:11:11) Developmental Origins (1:22:53) Personality and Individual Differences (1:29:48) Emotional Regulation and Mental Health (1:46:06) CHAPTER 5: Types of Boundaries (1:46:53) Physical Boundaries (1:49:28) Emotional Boundaries (1:51:44) Intellectual Boundaries (1:56:02) Time Boundaries (2:00:03) Digital Boundaries (2:09:01) Financial Boundaries (2:12:42) Family boundaries (2:18:52) Friendship Boundaries (2:23:06) Work Relationship Boundaries (2:28:22) Boundaries around authority (2:30:02) Self Boundaries (2:34:39) Chapter 6: How to Set and Maintain Boundaries (3:13:37) Chapter 7: Boundaries in Romantic Relationships (3:30:52) Parenting (3:37:04) Research & Frameworks (3:40:44) Western Romance (3:44:48) CHAPTER 8: The 80/20 of Boundaries Reset Your Brain with BrainFM: brain.fm/IDGAF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]