Modern Love

Fake profiles. Unresponsive texters. Boring conversations. An endless stream of dudes on boats holding the fish they’ve caught. Talk to single people using dating apps, and they are likely to tell you that the experience is awful, but that they have to be there. Dating apps are just how singles meet one another these days. But what if artificial intelligence could fix modern dating? The Times reporter Eli Tan explored that hypothesis [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/14/technology/ai-dating-apps.html]. Eli joined several new dating apps that seek to duplicate a user’s personality via chatbot and let the A.I. clone do the dating. He also received flirting advice from a squadron of A.I. dating coaches. He used that advice on real dates, actually trying to find a connection, to see how the A.I.’s guidance held up. On this episode of Modern Love, Eli tells us what happened when he revealed his use of A.I. to his dates, and whether the technology may actually push us toward more authentic interactions on the apps. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

When Daniel Jones started the Modern Love column in 2004, he called for submissions and hoped the idea would catch on. Twenty years and over a thousand published essays later, Modern Love is a trove of real-life love stories. Jones has put so much of himself into editing the column over the years, but as he tells Anna Martin, the host of the “Modern Love” podcast, the stories shared in the columns have influenced him, too. Today, he talks about three Modern Love essays that have changed the way he thinks about love and relationships. Read the essays below: One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please [https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/fashion/one-bouquet-of-fleeting-beauty-please.html] Nursing a Wound in an Appropriate Setting [https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/17/fashion/Modern-Love-Nursing-a-Wound-in-an-Appropriate-Place-.html?action=click&module=RelatedLinks&pgtype=Article] My First Lesson in Motherhood [https://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/13/fashion/13love.html]   How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Townsend Davis had been married for more than a decade when his wife, Bridget, was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Their lives changed immediately. Townsend became Bridget’s caregiver, sorting her medication day after day, making their home accessible, and finding someone to look after her while he worked and raised their sons. He was committed to Bridget, and wanted to be there for her as her condition progressed. One day, not long after her diagnosis, Bridget told Townsend she wanted him eventually to find a new partner. But Townsend couldn’t imagine it. Searching for another love seemed too complicated, and he was focused on caring for Bridget and raising their family. Then, years later, Townsend met Deb. On this episode of Modern Love, Townsend explains what it was like to forge a new partnership as he remained married to Bridget, and what happened when he brought his wife and his girlfriend together for a Thanksgiving dinner. This episode is adapted from Townsend’s Modern Love essay from 2024, “A Family Dinner With My Wife and Girlfriend [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/23/style/modern-love-alzheimers-family-dinner-with-my-wife-and-girlfriend.html].” Modern Love is looking for your stories! We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you went on this year? What happened? And what are you trying to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? Whether you’re singled or partnered, tell us about your bad dates. Send us your story by recording a voice memo and emailing it to modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Please include your name and where you’re based. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

When Laura Cathcart Robbins checked into rehab for a severe Ambien addiction, all she could think about was getting out and going home to her two young sons. Laura was also in the middle of a divorce and facing a possible custody battle so she wasn’t looking to make her life more complicated. Laura tells the host Anna Martin about the unexpected bond she formed during the worst 30 days of her life and what happened when she came out the other side. This episode is adapted from Laura’s 2024 essay, “Marriage Made an Actor Out of Me [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/24/style/modern-love-marriage-made-an-actor-out-of-me.html].” Her memoir, “Stash: My Life in Hiding [https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Stash/Laura-Cathcart-Robbins/9781668005347]” is available now, and she hosts a podcast called “The Only One in the Room [https://theonlyonepod.com/].” What were your worst dates of 2024? We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you went on this year? What happened? And what do you want to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? You don’t have to be single to share your story. If you’re partnered and went on an awful date, we want to hear from you, too. Send us your story by recording a voice memo (just a few minutes long) and emailing it to modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com [modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com]. Please include your name and where you’re from. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Stories of romantic love are everywhere, but the actor, singer and comedian Bridget Everett says great friendships deserve our time and attention, too. Not just onscreen, but in reality. On the HBO Original series “Somebody Somewhere” (now in its third and final season), Everett stars as Sam, a character inspired by the actor’s own life. She tells Anna about how heartbreaking, hilarious and central platonic friendship is in the fictional world of the show, and in Everett’s own relationships. Everett also reads a Modern Love essay called “When Your Greatest Romance Is a Friendship [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/24/style/modern-love-when-your-greatest-romance-is-friendship.html],” by the novelist Victor Lodato. Lodato was in his 40s when he accidentally found his “person,” and became the platonic life partner of an artist in her 80s who lived across the street. “Somebody Somewhere” is now streaming on Max. In April 2024, Lodato published “Honey [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/honey-victor-lodato?variant=41083831746594],” a novel inspired by Austin Brayfield, the friend he wrote about in his essay. Want to leave us a voice mail message on the Modern Love hotline? Call (212) 589-8962‬, and please include your name, hometown and a callback number. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.