Modern Love

I Tried to Have a Kid With My Best Friend. It Got Complicated.

Joseph Osmundson spent years joking about having a baby with his best friend. But one day, she told Joe she was serious about it. Joe was elated. Growing up, he had always wanted to be a father, but he didn’t realize how deep that yearning was until the moment their joke became a concrete plan. At the time, Joe had a boyfriend he loved and his best friend was partnered with a woman. It took time, effort, and countless meetings to decide how to conceive and co-parent in a way that would accommodate everyone involved. What the group did not anticipate was how complex their feelings would become once their plan was underway, or that Joe would have to define what parenting meant to him all over again. Joseph Osmundson’s book, “Spawning Season: An Experiment in Queer Parenting” is out now.   How to submit a Modern Love Essay [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Is Codependency Good?

Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton’s lives are completely intertwined. They’ve been married for almost 20 years while collaborating on films, raising children and spending as much time together as possible. The two see the same therapist, are nearly constantly touching each other and find it hard to function when one of them is away, a dynamic they describe as codependent. Their codependency is the inspiration for their new film “Magic Hour,” which they co-wrote and which Aselton directs and stars in. For the couple, codependency has added real depth and beauty to their relationship to the point they think the entire concept needs a rebranding. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Duplass and Aselton make their case for codependency, explain what it has enabled in their lives and share what they’ve had to sacrifice to maintain it. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I Tried Everything to Escape My Heartbreak. Only This Worked.

Lauren Bans was seven months pregnant when she realized she needed a divorce. Suddenly, she found herself heartbroken, terrified, and completely unable to make decisions or think about the future. One day, her sister suggested they visit an escape room. As the door locked and the countdown began, Bans found herself enraptured by the puzzles, forgetting her reality for a moment and feeling like herself again. She was hooked and went back to escape rooms over and over. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Bans tells Anna Martin about her unique cure for heartbreak, and how making decisions in a fictional puzzle room helped her feel capable of making them in real life again, too. Read Lauren’s story in The New York Times Magazine [https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/17/magazine/escape-rooms.html]. We want to know: How has A.I. changed your relationships? Send us a voice memo. [https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/20/podcasts/tell-us-has-ai-changed-your-relationship.html] How to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html] Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Love Lessons From Ramy Youssef’s Dog

When people stop Ramy Youssef on the street, it's usually not because they're mega-fans of his comedy. Instead, they mostly just want to pet his dog. It's not until they walk away, he says, that they recognize him from his semiautobiographical sitcom, "Ramy," or his latest special, "Ramy Youssef: In Love." In fact, Youssef’s dog, Basha, is a big part of the special and has become a major part of his life, even if he does sometimes steal the spotlight. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Youssef tells Anna Martin, our host, what he has learned about unconditional love from Basha. He reads a Modern Love essay from the archive, in which the writer describes working at an animal rescue and how watching humans in the midst of the adoption process redeemed them a little in her eyes. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Isabel Allende and Her Mother Told Each Other (Almost) Everything

Isabel Allende began writing daily letters to her mother when she was a teenager. Over the next several decades, they exchanged over 24,000 of them. Allende credits their letter writing with removing the need for small talk and creating a deep bond between them. Knowing that she had to write to her mother every day pushed her to pay attention to her life in a way that, she says, was central to her becoming a writer.  Letters have been a throughline in her books as well. Allende’s best-selling novel, “The House of the Spirits,” began as a letter to her dying grandfather. “The House of the Spirits” has just been adapted into a new TV series, and the connection between mothers and daughters is central to this multigenerational saga. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Allende tells the host Anna Martin about the transformative power of letter writing on her relationships and career.  Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.