Modern Love

Elizabeth Banks Married Her College Sweetheart. They’re Still in Love.

On her first day of college, Elizabeth Banks met a cute guy at a party. This was long before her roles in “Pitch Perfect” and “30 Rock.” A lot has changed, but 33 years later Banks is still with that same cute guy. In this episode of “Modern Love,” she tells our host, Anna Martin, about the intense conversations and difficult decisions that have kept her relationship alive. And, she reads “Making Space in Marriage, Even as the Walls Close In [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/01/style/modern-love-coronavirus-burning-man-making-space-in-marriage.html],” a Modern Love essay about a couple who crack open a stale marriage by leaping into Burning Man. Listen to and Follow ‘Modern Love’ Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/modern-love/id1065559535?mt=2] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/03Er7mSPq9IEewOgbPD3vO?si=CYApBISZSoCH6AjwdiGsFw] | Amazon Music [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c40b7b82-b31d-493d-ac33-273b39d153ca/modern-love] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdMrbgYfVl-s2_KrR5DosEB0gqr4w-XZd] |iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/560-modern-love-28288069/] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. We Want to Hear From You Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com [modernlove@nytimes.com]. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

My Husband’s Breakdown Was My Breakthrough

It was Stefanie and Jonathan’s worst nightmare: Jonathan’s depression had become so severe he was begging to be taken to the hospital. Stefanie took him to the hospital and then took care of everything else for the family. When she married Jonathan years earlier, Stefanie knew about his mental health struggles. But she wasn’t prepared for this moment. Then, Stefanie fell apart too — and it was Jonathan’s turn to take care of her. In this episode, Anna talks to Stefanie about what it’s like to love someone through the worst of it, and what Stefanie learned about her own needs after years of ignoring them. You can read Stefanie’s original story in the Modern Love column [https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/20/style/modern-love-ect-youre-my-wife-youre-my-life.html]. Listen to and Follow ‘Modern Love’ Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/modern-love/id1065559535?mt=2] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/03Er7mSPq9IEewOgbPD3vO?si=CYApBISZSoCH6AjwdiGsFw] | Amazon Music [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c40b7b82-b31d-493d-ac33-273b39d153ca/modern-love] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdMrbgYfVl-s2_KrR5DosEB0gqr4w-XZd] |iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/560-modern-love-28288069/] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. We Want to Hear From You Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com [modernlove@nytimes.com]. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Zendaya and Robert Pattinson on Marriage and Secrets

In their buzzy new film, “The Drama,” Zendaya and Robert Pattinson play an engaged couple whose relationship is imploding. With their wedding just a week away, Emma (Zendaya) reveals a shocking secret about her past that sends her fiancé, Charlie (Pattinson), into a self-destructive spiral of doubt. The stakes are high for these fictional lovers, but the underlying relationship anxiety is relatable: What if you don’t know the person you love as well as you think you do? What if they surprise you, and that surprise is not good? In this episode, Anna Martin, the host of “Modern Love,” asks Pattinson and Zendaya what these questions mean to their characters, and in their own lives. You can watch a video version of this episode here [https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/01/podcasts/zendaya-robert-pattinson-the-drama.html].  Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

He’s Gay. She’s Straight. They’re Newlyweds. (Encore)

This week, we have an update to one of our favorite interviews from last year. When Jacob Hoff and Samantha Greenstone met, they became instant best friends. Then, even though Jacob was gay, they realized that their feelings for each other were evolving beyond the platonic, and they decided to give romance a try. On this episode, Hoff and Greenstone tell Anna Martin, host of “Modern Love,” how their love gave him the courage to come out to his conservative family. They also explain that when they decided to get married, they realized they’d have to get used to clarifying their commitment again and again. You can read Jacob and Samantha’s Mini-Vows profile [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/06/style/samantha-greenstone-jacob-hoff-wedding.html] in the Styles section. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A Widow's Guide to Sex

When Joan Price's husband died, her grief left her feeling alienated from her body. She was numb. She couldn’t have orgasms. Her sex drive disappeared. Joan understood better than most people the importance of a fulfilling sex life; as a sex educator for older adults, she centered her work around pleasure and desire. So, she began the process of rediscovering what it means to feel good after loss. Joan ended up writing a book about everything she learned, called "Sex After Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved." This week on “Modern Love,” Joan Price tells the story of reconnecting with her sexuality, and she shares advice for anyone looking to do the same. Please note: this episode contains explicit descriptions of sex. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.