Modern Love

Was I Married To A Stranger?

Belle Burden was living the kind of life most can only dream of. Born into a wealthy New York family, she married a dashing attorney who had swept her off her feet. The couple had a beautiful apartment in Manhattan, a summer house on Martha’s Vineyard, three children, and what Belle thought was a happy marriage. Then, after 20 years, with no warning, her husband told her he wanted a divorce. Belle remembers him saying, “You can have custody of the kids, you can have the house and the apartment. I don't want any part of this life anymore.” In a moment, he became a stranger to her. As Belle tried to understand the disintegration of her marriage, she made a decision that surprised people close to her: she shared her story with the world. In 2023, she published a Modern Love essay about her experience. Her new book, “Strangers: a Memoir of Marriage,” reveals more of her story. On today’s episode, Belle Burden talks about the abrupt and difficult end to her marriage, and how that led her to the start of a new life. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to the New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]   Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Want to have better sex this year? Here’s how.

Do you think you could be having better sex? Are you confident you know what really turns you on? What makes your body feel good? How do you communicate about it? Nicole McNichols wants everyone to be asking these questions. Dr. McNichols is a psychology professor at the University of Washington, where she teaches a class on human sexuality to over 4,000 students a year. She has immersed herself in decades of research on what makes a good, fulfilling sex life — and she has the data to back it up. Her new book, “You Could Be Having Better Sex,” is full of practical tips, backed by science, on how to have truly fulfilling sex. On this week’s episode of “Modern Love,” Dr. McNichols explains the most common misunderstandings people have about sex and shares practical advice for how to level up your sex life. What’s the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you? What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever seen? If something made you feel that rush of romance, send us a voice memo, and we may use it on the show. Check out our submission page [https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/07/podcasts/tell-us-whats-the-most-romantic-thing-youve-ever-seen.html] to learn more. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to the New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html] Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Andrew Garfield Wants to Crack Open Your Heart (Encore)

This emotional interview with the actor Andrew Garfield is a listener favorite. In it, Garfield talks about his 2024 film “We Live in Time,” in which he plays a newly divorced man named Tobias who falls in love with a chef named Almut, played by Florence Pugh. Their story feels epic and expansive, but still intimate. It focuses on the small, everyday moments that make up a love story: washing dishes together after a dinner party, sharing biscuits, smelling fruit at a farmers’ market. These are the moments that sustain the couple through Almut’s excruciatingly difficult medical crisis. Garfield tells Anna Martin, host of “Modern Love,” why this film about the intertwined nature of joy and grief came into his life at just the right moment, and gives an unexpectedly raw reading of Chris Huntington’s essay “Learning to Measure Time in Love and Loss. [https://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/29/fashion/learning-to-measure-time-in-love-and-loss.html]” "Modern Love" will return on Jan. 7 with all new episodes. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

I Cashed Out My 401(k) to Build a Women’s Only Retirement Community

When it came time to retire, Robyn Yerian didn’t feel like she had enough money saved. She didn’t want to depend on her children or end up in a nursing home, so she cashed out what she had in her 401(k) and bought a plot of land in East Texas. She built spots for tiny homes and called the area the Bird’s Nest.   Over time, the Bird’s Nest has become home to a community of women who are rethinking retirement. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Yerian and Cheryl Huff, a longtime resident of the Bird’s Nest, describe what it feels like to grow older together with the support of other women, and discuss why they can’t imagine doing it any other way. This episode is inspired by Lisa Miller’s story in The New York Times titled, “11 Women, 9 Dogs, Not Much Drama (and No Guys).”     Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Jessie Buckley Became a Mother for ‘Hamnet.’ Then She Became One for Real.

The actor Jessie Buckley says she wasn’t surprised that she got pregnant right after she finished shooting “Hamnet.” The film — starring Paul Mescal as William Shakespeare and Buckley as his wife, Agnes — tells the story of a couple grieving the loss of their only son. “When I was filming ‘Hamnet,’ I deeply wanted to become a mother,” Buckley says. “And it was such a gift to move through this woman and her motherhood and her love and her loss before I became a mother myself.” On this episode of “Modern Love,” Buckley describes how she was able to access the vulnerability she portrayed onscreen. And she talks about how her life has changed since having her own child. Plus, she reads the Modern Love essay “The Wrong Kind of Inheritance” [https://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/fashion/20love.html] by Victoria Dougherty. How to submit a Modern Love Essay [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] to The New York Times. How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher [https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher]. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.