Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan

Are You a People Pleaser Raising a Strong-Willed Child?

Parenting a strong-willed kid as a people-pleaser can lead to constant power struggles... but it doesn't have to be that way! If you’ve spent your life trying to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or make everyone happy, raising a strong-willed child can feel exhausting and confusing. In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the biggest parenting patterns I see: people-pleasing parents unintentionally giving away their leadership because they’re uncomfortable holding firm boundaries. It might feel kinder to over-explain, soften the “no,” or avoid upsetting your child, but with strong-willed kids, that approach often leads to more negotiating, more pushback, and bigger power struggles. In my own parenting journey, I realized that constantly explaining, negotiating, and trying to avoid conflict was actually teaching my child that my boundaries were flexible. In this episode, I’ll walk you through the mindset shifts that changed everything for me, plus how to lead your child with calm authority without becoming controlling, harsh, or disconnected. If you've ever asked yourself... * Why does my child push back on everything I say? * How do I hold boundaries without feeling guilty? * Why do I keep giving in even when I know I shouldn’t? * How do I stop negotiating every little thing with my child? * Why does saying “no” feel so emotionally hard for me? * What actually works with strong-willed kids without yelling or constant punishment? …then listen to this one for all the answers. The more you shift from people-pleasing to steady leadership, the easier it becomes to parent your strong-willed child with confidence, clarity, and connection. Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571] Resources: * Learn how you can work with Sue at: https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/ [https://www.askmomparenting.com/coaching/] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/] * Grab a copy of Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2]

Authority vs. Influence (Why High Achievers Struggle With Parenting)

Most high-performing parents approach parenting the same way they approach everything else in life… and it often backfires! If you’re used to leading, achieving, and getting results, it can feel confusing and frustrating when those same skills don’t seem to work at home. In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the biggest parenting disconnects I see: relying on authority and control instead of building influence with your kids. It might feel natural to expect quick compliance, but with kids, that approach often leads to resistance, power struggles, and more yelling. In my early parenting years I found myself constantly frustrated, expecting my kids to respond the way adults do… and realizing that approach was actually making things worse. In this episode I’ll walk you through the key shift that changed everything for me, plus how to move from short-term obedience to long-term connection, trust, and self-management. If you've ever asked yourself... * Why does my child listen at first but then go right back to the behavior when I’m not around? * How do I get my kids to listen without repeating myself or raising my voice? * Why does my child push back so much when I’m just trying to help? * How do I build respect without relying on fear or authority? * What actually works if control and pressure don’t? …then listen to this one for all the answers. The more you shift from control to connection, the easier it becomes to lead your kids in a way that actually works. Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571] Resources: * Grab a copy of Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2] * Learn how you can work with Sue at: http://askmomparenting.com/get-help [http://askmomparenting.com/get-help] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/]

How to Tell If It’s a Tantrum or Bad Behavior (And What to Do Next)

Most parents react to tantrums and bad behavior the same way, and it often backfires!   If your child’s meltdowns all start to look the same, it’s easy to feel stuck, frustrated, and unsure what to do next. In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the biggest parenting mistakes I see: treating tantrums and bad behavior like they’re the same thing. They may look similar on the outside, but they need very different responses.   I share a personal story from my own early parenting years when our three-year-old seemed to go from sweet and steady to full meltdown mode overnight, plus the lesson that changed everything for our family. I’ll walk you through how to spot the difference between a child who is overwhelmed versus a child who is testing limits, and share practical strategies for how to respond to each one so you can help instead of making things worse.   If you've ever asked yourself... * Is this a real tantrum or is my child just pushing boundaries? * Why does my child’s behavior get worse when I try to talk them through it? * Should I ignore this behavior or step in right away? * Why do some meltdowns seem random while others keep repeating? * How do I stay calm when everything feels like it’s escalating? * What response will actually help change this pattern? …then listen to this one for all the answers.   The more clearly you understand the behavior in front of you, the easier it becomes to respond with confidence!   Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571]   Resources: * Tantrum & Behavior Rescue Kit: https://academy.askmomparenting.com/courses/offers/293ab1ba-a7d8-4bcf-bd48-b5b95e8d8c1a [https://academy.askmomparenting.com/courses/offers/293ab1ba-a7d8-4bcf-bd48-b5b95e8d8c1a] * Learn how you can work with Sue at: http://askmomparenting.com/get-help [http://askmomparenting.com/get-help] * Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/]

Stop Sibling Fights Tonight: Proven Strategy That Restores Peace

Are you accidentally fueling sibling fights without even realizing it? In this episode, we expose how well-meaning parents can unknowingly assign roles like “the victim” and “the instigator,” trapping siblings in cycles of fighting and tattling that just repeat, day after day. I share the story of how my own attempt to referee a sibling crisis backfired, along with the strategy that finally brought peace back to my house. You’ll hear the three hidden drivers behind sibling conflicts, why stepping in does more harm than good, and the two essential behaviors that let you step back without abdicating your role as a parent.   If you’re tired of playing judge, jury, and referee or exhausted from endless tattling and sibling brawls, this episode will show you how to break the pattern...no yelling, no interrogations, and no picking sides. You’ll learn how to build true conflict resolution skills in your kids that last, so sibling squabbles stop running the household for good.   If you’ve ever asked yourself... * “Why are my kids always fighting?" * “How do I keep them safe without picking sides?” * “What’s the real reason my kids keep competing for fairness, power, or my attention?” * “How can I teach my kids the skills to resolve fights without me constantly mediating?” …then listen to this one for all the answers.   Long-term, you’ll see less fighting and reduced tattling. Sibling bonds will grow stronger, not because you micromanaged every spat, but because you taught your kids to resolve things themselves!   Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571]   Resources: * Check out my Fight-Free Parenting System: https://www.askmomparenting.com/get-help/fight-free-parenting/ [https://www.askmomparenting.com/get-help/fight-free-parenting/] * Learn how you can work with Sue at: http://askmomparenting.com/get-help [http://askmomparenting.com/get-help] * Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/]

Stop the Attitude: Calm Parenting That Builds Real Respect

Is your child’s attitude really about disrespect, or is it a signal you’re missing? In this episode, we dive deep into those familiar moments when simple requests turn into power struggles, and explain the difference between compliance and genuine respect. With relatable stories and actionable mindset and method shifts, we break down how to sidestep attitude, foster cooperation, and build a lasting, respectful relationship with your child - no yelling, lecturing, or micromanaging required. Learn why your child’s pushback isn’t the root problem, but a signal you can decode and respond to for better outcomes. Discover effective strategies for calm leadership, mutual respect, and collaborative problem solving at home, plus practical phrases and mindset shifts to help you hold firm boundaries without damaging connection. Have you wondered: * “Why does my child react with attitude when I ask something reasonable?” * “How can I get stuff done without starting a power struggle every day?” * “What’s the difference between obedience, compliance, and real respect?” * “How do I motivate my child to help out without nagging or micromanaging?” * “Am I being too firm, too loose, or just missing the sweet spot?”   While compliance does feel good in the moment, a relationship with real respect is what works long-term. Watch the show on YouTube at ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571 ⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571]   Resources: * Learn how you can work with Sue at: http://askmomparenting.com/get-help [http://askmomparenting.com/get-help] * Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: ⁠⁠https://shorturl.at/lrcF2 ⁠⁠ [https://shorturl.at/lrcF2] * Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/ [https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting/]