Different, Not Broken

You feel better? That's not the point. Keep the appointment!

Keep the appointment. I know. You feel better. You made the appointment when you were really struggling, and now things aren't so bad and it feels unnecessary. You're fine. Probably. Maybe. Here's the thing about neurodivergent brains: they're really good at reaching for help in a crisis, and really good at talking themselves out of it the second the crisis passes. A 24-hour improvement is not a support system. It's just the top of the roller coaster. In this episode, I talk about why you need to keep the appointment even when you feel fine — especially when you feel fine. PLUS: I tell you about the book my dad never finished that I'm going to finish for him someday. It's about Betsy Ross, who apparently owned a brothel, not a sewing circle. History is a lot. AND in Small Talk: Alison shares a question from to Marcus in Chicago, who canceled plans, had a perfect solo day (soup, documentary about bridges, no pants), and then felt guilty about every second of it. TIMESTAMPS 00:00:57 — Dad's Unfinished Book: Betsy Ross's Drawing Room 00:03:07 — The Instruction: Keep the Appointment 00:04:19 — Why We Cancel (When We Finally Start to Feel Better) 00:07:33 — The Roller Coaster: High Points Don't Last 00:08:06 — Build the Support System Before You Need It 00:09:28 — Small Talk: Marcus from Chicago on Canceled Plans and Guilt

I'm Not Yelling at Him, I'm Yelling In His Direction. If I'm Quiet, You're in Trouble

Here's the thing about asking for help: the ask itself is the labor. And I learned that the hard way during the two worst weeks of my life. My youngest came eight weeks early. I'd just had a C-section. We were running back and forth to the NICU, trying to care for a two-year-old at home, healing from surgery, and keeping an entire life running on fumes. People kept asking, "What can we do?" And we kept saying, "We're fine." Not because we were fine. Because figuring out what to ask for was just as much work as doing it ourselves. And then a woman showed up at my door without warning, without asking, and handed me a gift I'll never forget. And it was the most incredibly simple but caring one imaginable. This episode is also about what happens when I stop talking — which, if you know me, is significantly more terrifying than anything that comes out of my mouth. I talk about productive yelling, why silence in our house is a five-alarm situation, and the very Italian way my in-laws communicate. And in this week's Small Talk, Alison shares a question from Darnell in Atlanta. Mentioned in this episode: Join Quirky

The IVF clinic scandal nobody prepared me for

"I sold my company. I guess technically we're still in the process, but it's done. The thing I built from scratch. The dream I lay in bed and imagined. Done." That alone would be a whole episode. But there's more. In this episode, I'm talking about the 120 days that changed me on a molecular level — because that's not an exaggeration. My mom got sick. The burnout was real. The lights were staying on, but barely. And then a news story hit my phone that I was not prepared for. It involves an IVF clinic we used eight years ago for our youngest daughter. I'm not ready to share everything, and there are things I legally can't say. But I want you to know where I've been, mentally, with this whole *gestures arms wildly at everything*. And I want you to know that sometimes the thing that brings you to your knees has absolutely nothing to do with your business, your calendar, or your capacity — and everything to do with something you didn't see coming.

Not All Men! But Definitely 62 Million Hits From Some of the Men...

Maybe not all men. But what do we do when a site has 62 million hits originating from lots of them? Hi, I'm Lauren Howard. I go by "L2" and this week I'm going full Winter Soldier mode. You know that scene in Captain America where they say the trigger phrase and Bucky Barnes just... activates? Yeah, that's me. Every. Single. Time. someone types "not all men" in my comments. We're talking about the 62 million hits logged on a website that existed to teach people how to s*xually assault women. For context: Sony's entire website gets 24 million hits a month. So let's not pretend the numbers are somehow ambiguous here. We also get into the prototype employee — the 45-year-old white man that every workplace policy, dress code, and promotion pipeline has been quietly built around — and what that means for literally everyone else. Timestamped summary * 00:57 — The "not all men" trigger phrase * 02:17 — The 45-year-old white man prototype * 03:57 — Why workplaces weren't built for your brain * 05:42 — 62 million hits. Let that land. * 07:04 — Why women choose the bear * 10:22 — The responsibility of the good men * 12:23 — ADHD brain & too many tabs open * 14:01 — My children are weaponizing their butts * 14:34 — Small Talk with Alison: self-improvement culture * 15:57 — The iPhone 1 analogy * 17:32 — There is no finish line

March Madness Sportsball: For When The Murder Shows Stop Working

The news broke me. The murder shows stopped working. So I watched a month of college basketball I do not care about, and it was the only thing keeping my nervous system upright. In this episode I'm unpacking three things: → Why "distraction" is an actual mental health strategy, and why sportsball was the weirdly perfect antidote to doomscrolling. → A very clear message for anyone whose job is chewing them up: You are an asset, not a liability. Burnout culture is not only cruel, it's bad business. The math on replacing good employees is brutal, and your workplace being too short-sighted to see that has nothing to do with your value. → Small Talk Frank from Scranton wants to know why he can't relax into stability. If you needed to hear "this isn't you, it's them" today — hi, it's them. CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold open: You are an asset, not a liability 00:38 Hi, I'm L2 — welcome back to Different, Not Broken 01:05 Why I always have something on in the background (blame childhood chaos) 02:04 When the murder shows stopped working 03:00 The news broke me 03:43 Basketball as my zero-stakes sanity reset 04:48 Accidentally Pavlov'd by March Madness 05:54 The women's games are better, argue with the wall 06:35 Gratitude for dumb distractions 08:12 Workplaces are getting worse (and it's bad business) 08:54 The actual math on turnover and institutional knowledge 09:37 Short-term thinking is stealing your future 10:13 "It's not personal, it's just business" is an excuse 11:16 You are an asset, not a liability 12:26 You are not the problem for having boundaries 13:32 AI outsourcing and the coming pay cut 14:10 You deserve safety, accommodations, and a workplace built for humans 14:59 Small Talk with Alison: a question from Frank in Scranton 15:13 Hypervigilance, trauma, or just being realistic? 16:09 Why I can't let myself get excited about good things 16:44 Chaotic families and why I hate my birthday 17:45 Two trophies and a dead dog (and then, open-heart surgery) 18:42 Some of us are just wired this way 19:31 When it might be time to talk to a professional 20:22 Olympics tangent: how does anyone end up doing the luge? RESOURCES & LINKS * Got a question for Small Talk? Send it in: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail [https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail] Mentioned in this episode: Wanna learn to write like me? Here's how you can! Writing Course [https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/course]