Get Curious Before You Get Furious - With Eva Medilek

The Bridge to Calm: How Movement Regulates the Nervous System - with Lisa Danahy

Lisa Danahy spent years in corporate HR at a law firm, living in a state of hypervigilance she didn't have language for — until her body and her family life forced a reckoning. In this episode, she joins Dr. Zarya to trace her path from corporate burnout to 20 years running an early learning program to founding the nonprofit Create Calm, and to unpack the idea at the center of her book, Creating Calm in Your Classroom: the adult in the room has to regulate first. Lisa and Dr. Zarya go beyond theory — Lisa leads a live, guided movement sequence (grounding through the feet, breath, and bilateral movement) so listeners can feel, in real time, what shifting out of hypervigilance actually takes. They dig into why stillness alone can't bridge someone from a dysregulated state to calm — movement has to come first — and why "calm" doesn't mean sedated, submissive, or shut down. Lisa redefines it as steady, confident, and aligned. 00:47  Guest introduction — the disruptive idea at the center of the episode: the adult regulates first 02:36  Lisa's origin story — from corporate HR at a law firm to yoga therapist and founder of Create Calm 07:13  Naming the hypervigilance — what "attentiveness" actually felt like in her body 09:12  Why she resisted slowing down even as her body was signaling she needed to 10:09  Cortisol, stress addiction, and why the body craves the striving 12:02  "A reforming people pleaser" — and what happens when the people around you miss your old, over-functioning self 13:03  Live guided movement exercise — grounding, breath, and bilateral movement in real time 19:28  Why hypervigilance can't cross a bridge to calm without a partner of movement 20:47  Redefining calm: steady, confident, aligned — not sedated or shut down 24:17  Building your regulation toolkit before you're in crisis, not during it 27:34  Becoming the witness instead of the participant — and why that takes courage 30:04  Values-driven vs. externally driven living, and its direct link to burnout 33:01  Reframing the stress response as information, not a flaw 43:06  The "team at the table" metaphor for internal awareness and decision-making 44:36  Mirror neurons, co-regulation in a room of crying babies, and "bring the weather" Learn more about Lisa Danahy and Create Calm at createcalm.org [http://createcalm.org]. Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor: Website: www.theburnoutdoctor.com [http://www.theburnoutdoctor.com] IG: www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD [http://www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD] Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit [https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit] Book a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult [https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult] Reach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: hello@theburnoutdoctor.com [hello@theburnoutdoctor.com]

Your Nervous System Killed Your Libido (Here’s How to Get It Back) — with Dr. Julie Merriman

Dr. Julie Merriman has spent nearly 30 years studying compassion fatigue and her own “scorched earth” burnout. A PhD-educated counselor, educator, and former department chair, her latest book, Are We Gonna Have Sex or What?, takes on the question hiding underneath every burned-out woman’s silence: what happened to my desire? We unpack the difference between burnout, compassion fatigue, and moral injury; why a dysregulated nervous system reads a stressful email the same way it views a saber-toothed tiger; and why desire is the first thing to go offline when your body doesn’t feel safe. She reframes resentment as a “sacred emotion” worth listening to rather than suppressing, explains why novelty keeps desire in the room, and makes the case that sex is a skill — one you can keep learning at any age. In this episode: * The real difference between burnout, compassion fatigue, and moral injury * Why a dysregulated nervous system shuts down pleasure and desire first * Spontaneous vs. responsive desire — and why most women rely on the latter * The “schedule sex” catch-22, and the ritual Dr. Jules uses instead * Resentment as a sacred emotion, and its hidden role in intimacy * Why novelty matters for desire — at any age * Sex as a skill you can learn and improve throughout your life Connect with Dr. Julie Merriman: * Website: JulieMerrimanPhD.com [http://JulieMerrimanPhD.com] * Book: Are We Gonna Have Sex or What? * Free resources: the Desire Reset Guide and the Somatic Signatures quiz (linked on her website) * Podcasts: The Compassion Fatigue Cure and Sexy After 50 Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor: Website: www.theburnoutdoctor.com [http://www.theburnoutdoctor.com] IG: www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD [http://www.instagram.com/theburnoutMD] Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit [https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit] Book a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult [https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult] Reach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: hello@theburnoutdoctor.com [hello@theburnoutdoctor.com]

Get Curious Before You Get Furious - With Eva Medilek

Eva Medilek spent decades being the woman who did it all — full-time dental hygienist, side-hustling real estate investor, wife, mother of daughters, and self-described control freak — until burnout quietly almost cost her the thing she was working so hard to protect: her marriage. In this episode, Eva joins me to unpack what she calls “as soon as” disease, the belief that rest and joy are only available on the other side of the next milestone, and the wake-up call that made her rebuild her relationship, her health, and her business from the ground up. Eva is also the founder of Optimize You High-Performance Coaching and the #1 best-selling author of The Intimacy of Race. She walks through her Personal Performance Profile framework — five hidden operating patterns (the Pleaser, the Controller, the Yo-Yo, the Blame-Taker, and the Evader) that form in childhood and quietly run our adult reactions, relationships, and leadership styles.We trade real examples of these patterns showing up in marriage, parenting, and everyday friction (yes, including the dishwasher), and land on Eva's signature reframe: "get curious before you get furious." Takeaways * Having it all doesn't mean doing it all. * Outsmart burnout by clarifying priorities and setting boundaries. * Curiosity before fury: ask questions to understand, not judge. * Recognize and reframe childhood patterns that influence adult behavior. * Boundaries are essential for mental health and success. * Self-awareness is key to identifying what sabotages performance. * Creating a supportive community helps in healing and growth. * Leadership and societal issues deeply affect personal well-being. * Humor and compassion are vital in navigating social issues. * Taking responsibility for your patterns leads to empowerment. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Eva Medilek's Journey 03:46 From Dentistry to High-Performance Coaching 11:10 The Wake-Up Call: Recognizing Burnout 15:19 Building a New Relationship 16:24 The CPR Formula for Performance 22:07 Setting Boundaries and Communicating Needs 24:33 The Dishwasher Dilemma: Learning to Let Go 26:31 Navigating Domestic Chaos: The Dishwasher Dilemma 26:53 Unpacking Personal Performance Profiles 27:33 Childhood Influences on Adult Behavior 29:01 Cultural Expectations and Perfectionism 31:15 Understanding Emotional Patterns and Responses 32:52 The Journey to Self-Acceptance 34:39 The Impact of Childhood on Adult Burnout 36:22 Curiosity Over Fury: A New Approach 37:11 The Intimacy of Race: A Personal Journey 38:53 Creating Safe Spaces for Dialogue 41:27 The Toll of Microaggressions and Societal Pressures 43:19 Leadership and the Divide in Society 45:22 Recognizing Privilege and Its Implications 45:34 Rapid Fire Insights: Quick Takeaways 47:58 Final Thoughts on Balance and Priorities Connect With Eva Medilek Website - https://evamedilek.com [https://evamedilek.com] Personal Performance Profile Quiz - https://evamedilek.com/quiz [https://evamedilek.com/quiz] Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin: Learn more: https://drzarya.com [https://drzarya.com] Follow along on IG: https://instagram.com/drzaryarubin [https://instagram.com/drzaryarubin] Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit [https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit]

Success Without Stress: The Even Achieving Framework — with Erika Coleman

Summary What if the reason you keep burning out isn't that you're doing something wrong, but that you're doing too much right? Erika Coleman is a speaker, consultant, organizational psychologist, and self-described recovering overachiever who built a million-dollar training company, survived her mother's terminal cancer diagnosis, and then watched both collapse simultaneously. What she discovered in the aftermath — through grief, therapy, and a Harvard master's degree — became the "Even Achieving Framework": a research-backed approach to doing your best work without sacrificing your health, relationships, or sense of self. In this episode, Dr. Zarya and Erika dig into the science of why high achievers chronically overbid on success, what the Boston Celtics' sports psychologist taught her about performance and recovery, and why the virtues we're most proud of — grit, persistence, optimism — can become the very things that take us down. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Erica Coleman 02:36 The Journey of an Overachiever 05:26 Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation 08:23 Hitting Rock Bottom: A Turning Point 11:14 The Even Achieving Framework 14:14 Understanding Stress and Performance 16:55 The Balance of Achievement and Well-being 19:53 The Importance of Sustainable Effort 22:34 Navigating Stress and Self-Care 25:42 The Role of Resources in Performance 28:36 Daily Hassles and Micro-Breaks 31:39 Changing Mindsets Around Achievement 34:13 Rapid Fire Questions and Final Thoughts   Connect with Erika Coleman: Erika's TEDx Talk: "How to Reduce Stress Without Sacrificing Success" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y1ZTgBClVI Website: https://www.erikacolemanspecaks.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evenachieving LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erika-coleman-1591b435/ Please like, subscribe and share this podcast with someone you think might enjoy it. And if you enjoyed the episode? Please leave us a review! It really does help other women looking to outsmart burnout discover the show. And remember, burnout is not your destiny; it's your wake-up call! Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin: Sign up for your 1:1 SOS Session and Step Out of Survival Mode! https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/ Listen to my TEDx talk about my burnout story: https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout [https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout] Learn more: https://drzarya.com Follow along on IG: https://instagram.com/drzaryarubin Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit [https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit]

Shedding the Armor: Burnout, Belonging and Being a Woman Surgeon with Dr. Erin Sheffield

What does it actually cost to survive in a system that wasn't built for you? Dr. Erin Sheffield is a board-certified oral and maxillofacial surgeon, founder of The Doctor Is ALL In retreat, and co-host of The Resting Stitch Face Podcast — and she's spent her career in one of the most male-dominated surgical specialties in medicine. In this conversation, she and Dr. Zarya go deep on the kind of burnout that doesn't come from working too hard. It comes from shrinking yourself to fit. From her origin story — marine biology student turned oral surgeon after a nudge from her twin sister — to fighting a wrongful termination lawsuit after taking maternity leave, Erin's path has been anything but linear. What she's built on the other side is a community, a retreat, and a mission to give women in surgery what she never had: a space to exhale. In this episode, you'll hear about: * The microaggressions that add up — and how they quietly drain high-achieving women * What burnout actually feels like in the OR (compassion fatigue) * Being illegally fired after taking maternity leave — and what happened next * The HR complaint that got filed against her for 'hostile work environment' — and why it would never have happened to her husband * Why women surgeons need permission to rest — and what it looks like when they finally give it to themselves * How The Doctor Is ALL In was born from feeling completely alone at her first major conference * The armor metaphor: what happens when we carry our protective shields long past when we needed them * The pants incident. (You'll know it when you get there!!!!!) Dr. Sheffield's closing message is one that every high-achieving woman needs to hear: you're doing better than you think you are. You don't have to carry it all. And you don't have to do it alone. Trust me, this is one you don't want to miss! Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Erin Sheffield and her mission 02:13 - From marine biology to oral maxillofacial surgery: an unconventional journey 04:45 - Facing challenges as a woman in a male-dominated surgical field 07:09 - Microaggressions, systemic barriers, and the importance of mentorship 09:25 - Experiences of discrimination and hierarchy in residency 11:04 - The culture of perfectionism and proving commitment in medicine 12:52 - Societal expectations and the environment for women surgeons 16:11 - Infertility, motherhood, and the high costs of medical training 17:19 - Juggling motherhood, career, and personal life with supportive partnerships 19:04 - Building community through the Doctors All In retreat 33:04 - The importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and redefining professionalism 39:39 - The analogy of armor and the weight of carrying emotional defenses 40:34 - Rapid Fire: Last day off, mishaps, scuba or lacrosse, and twins 47:46 - Advice for high-achieving women in medicine: You're enough 48:39 - Connecting with Dr. Sheffield and her wellness initiatives Connect with Dr. Erin Sheffield: * Instagram & TikTok & LinkedIn: @drerinsheffield * Podcast: The Resting Stitch Face Podcast (all major platforms + YouTube) * Retreat + Monthly Membership: https://www.doctorisallin.com/ Please like, subscribe and share this podcast with someone you think might enjoy it. And if you enjoyed the episode? Please leave us a review! It really does help other women looking to outsmart burnout discover the show. And remember, burnout is not your destiny; it's your wake-up call! Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin: Sign up for your 1:1 SOS Session and Step Out of Survival Mode! https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/ Listen to my TEDx talk about my burnout story: https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout [https://bit.ly/TEDxBurnout] Learn more: https://drzarya.com Follow along on IG: https://instagram.com/drzaryarubin Download your FREE Outsmart Burnout Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit [https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/outsmartburnouttoolkit]