Cover image of show Second Best To Seen | The Coaching Sessions for Gay Men

Second Best To Seen | The Coaching Sessions for Gay Men

Podcast by David Allison SMACCPH

English

Technology & science

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About Second Best To Seen | The Coaching Sessions for Gay Men

Welcome to Second Best to Seen, the podcast for Gay Men ready to stop playing a supporting role in their own lives. I’m your host, David Allison. As a coach who's walked this road, I know the fear that says if you speak up, you will end up alone. I learned the hard way that treating yourself like second best just guarantees not being 'seen'. This is a space for practical wisdom to help you move from self-doubt to quiet confidence. Join my private coaching space, The Freedom Community at https://www.skool.com/mindsetcoach

All episodes

11 episodes

episode #10 Gay Men: Take Your Next Step With Clarity artwork

#10 Gay Men: Take Your Next Step With Clarity

Join The Community on SKOOL [https://www.skool.com/mindsetcoach]. How long have you known what needs to change and been living alongside that knowledge? For a lot of men, the honest answer is a long time. And in that gap, a story starts to build about who you are and what you are capable of.That gap is simply a misunderstanding about how change actually works. Most men were taught that clarity comes before action. That you wait until you feel ready, then move. Your mind reads complete transformation as a threat and asks for solid ground first. Solid ground is exactly what this session gives you.This session shows you why one small step forward is how momentum builds. A single clear question your brain can actually answer and act on today. A way of seeing your next step that makes it easier to take. And a guided visualisation to help you feel what it is like to be the man who kept his word to himself.For every gay man who has a sharp picture of what he wants and is ready to move from intention to action. Who knows what needs to shift and is building the momentum to meet it. Who is ready to feel clear on Sunday and still moving on Tuesday?"You do not wait for the feeling. You move toward it." The doors to The Freedom Community [https://www.skool.com/mindsetcoach] are open for all Gay Men. Find David on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/davidallisoncoach].

7 Mar 2026 - 7 min
episode #9 Gay Men: Your Best Self Awaits artwork

#9 Gay Men: Your Best Self Awaits

You've been saving your best self for someone who hasn't arrived yet. The good cooking, the full wardrobe, the warmth, the devotion, all of it held in reserve like a guest room waiting for a booking that keeps not coming. In this session, David unpacks the trap of outsourcing your happiness to a future partner, where that habit comes from, and how to reclaim that energy so it lands on you first. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why waiting for a partner to feel worthy is costing you the life you're living right now. * The gardener principle and why the water has to start with you. * A real story of a man who stopped living in rehearsal and became the main character of his own life. * The one shift that changes everything: becoming the destination first, before anyone else walks through the door. This isn't about giving up on love. It's about stopping the wait and starting to live. Ready to stop being second best and start being seen? Join the community of gay men doing this work together at thefreedomcommunity.com [https://www.skool.com/mindsetcoach] Follow David on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/davidallisoncoach] for daily insights on building a life you don't need to escape from.

28 Feb 2026 - 7 min
episode #8 Gay Men: Discover The Ease of Saying No: Aligning Your Words with Your Truth artwork

#8 Gay Men: Discover The Ease of Saying No: Aligning Your Words with Your Truth

You know exactly where your boundaries are. Intellectually, you’ve done the work. But when the moment arrives to express that truth, you might find a gap between your intention and your action. This episode is for gay men who are ready to bridge that gap and move from hesitation into a state of solid, grounded certainty. In this conversation, we explore why this pause isn't a flaw in your character; it’s actually a sign of your nervous system seeking safety. I share how you can begin to prioritise your own energy by discovering the power of the "Smallest Possible Yes" to yourself. In this episode, you’ll learn: * How to recognise the wisdom of your body before the "yes" even leaves your mouth. * The greenhouse effect: how protecting your personal energy creates space for the connections that truly support you. * A real-world story of how a one-hour shift on a Sunday morning transformed a client’s entire sense of capacity. * How to move toward a life where your external boundaries and your internal values are in perfect, easy alignment. This isn’t about complex routines; it’s about the relief that comes when your words finally match your inner truth. Ready to start taking up your rightful space? Join our community of gay men practising these shifts until they become a natural, effortless part of who you are at. thefreedomcommunity.com [https://www.thefreedomcommunity.com] Follow David on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/davidallisoncoach] for daily insights on how protecting your energy isn’t a battle—it’s a decisive step toward your own flourishing.

21 Feb 2026 - 13 min
episode #7 Gay Men: Choose Your Own Standard artwork

#7 Gay Men: Choose Your Own Standard

You've been waiting a long time for someone to confirm what you already sense is true about you. Whether it's a date, a job, a friendship, each time you're passed over, that old familiar feeling surfaces. The one that whispers you're not quite enough. Maybe you walk into a room and feel yourself shrink. Maybe you spend your evenings swiping, watching other men seem to magnetise the very things you're reaching for. When someone does show up, you find yourself reshaping, laughing a little too readily, quietly folding away the parts of you that feel too expansive, just to hold onto the connection a little longer. And when they drift, it lands hard. Because somewhere underneath it, it feels like confirmation. In this episode, we're exploring why the brain has become so skilled at collecting evidence of rejection whilst filtering out every moment of genuine connection and real value. We'll trace where this pattern began, and how you've been quietly handing your power to people who never even requested it. The invitation in this episode is a simple one: choose yourself. Decide that your worth is already present, a constant, not something to be awarded. Because the permission you've been waiting for? You're the one who holds it. waiting for someone else to give you permission to matter and start choosing yourself instead. If you’re tired of handing people a scorecard the moment you meet them, join us at thefreedomcommunity.com [https://www.skool.com/mindsetcoach]. You’ll find a group of gay men doing this exact work to reclaim their worth from the inside out. Check out my Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/davidallisoncoach] for daily reminders that your worth was never about them. It has always been about you.

14 Feb 2026 - 7 min
episode #6 Gay Men: Their Limits Show You How To Shine artwork

#6 Gay Men: Their Limits Show You How To Shine

Have you ever laughed at dinner and saw someone flinch? Or been told your emotions were "making a scene"? So you learned to edit. You learned to read the room. You became a watered-down version of yourself just to keep everyone else comfortable. Here is the truth: Being called "too much" was never a measurement of your flaws. It was a measurement of their limits. When someone tells you you're too loud, too sensitive, or too gay, they aren't describing you. They are confessing what they can't handle. In this episode, we stop the "shrink-to-fit" cycle. If you try to pour a gallon of water into a thimble, the problem isn’t the water. Stop being "easy to swallow" and start being the brilliance you were meant to be. Join the room that’s big enough for you at thefreedomcommunity.com. [https://www.skool.com/mindsetcoach] Be sure to join me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/davidallisoncoach] too.

7 Feb 2026 - 6 min
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