E11: Community, Grief, and Commitment to Presence
In this episode of the Cosmic Affair, we continue our discussion about community and the many ways it shapes our experiences and ultimately, our lives. We chat about valuing the process over the product and the inventible grief that follows obtaining achievements and goals. Steph chats about her current experience with grief as she moves through projects and how she copes with it on a daily basis. Grief is a natural part of our lives that has been removed from society, yet still takes place in big and small ways. There is immense relief in being able to commiserate in the grief process amongst community. This is where compassion can be reflected back to us in our deepest moments of grief.
This episode will highlight the practice of sitting in the pause, relaxing into the quiet moments, and to take a breath before making decisions. We share our experiences around taking a pause before embarking on the next step and the benefit of avoiding distractions during these quiet, and often uncomfortable, moments. We talk about committing to a choice or even, to commit to the pause. This is a commitment to being where our feet are at until we an make a choice. Marguerite talks about the discomfort of sitting in a pause in relationship and how to stay present until the resolve is clear. This leads us to talk about ending a relationship from a centered and grateful place compared to rampaging through relationships of all kinds. How do we leave both relationships and situations before a catosphere ensues? Part of this is for us to speak our needs before the resentment builds and we are burning down the house, so to speak. Mathew Hussey, dating coach, has talked about many of us being afraid to enter relationships, because we lack the confidence that we can remove ourselves if need be. This is leaving the relationship before the catosphere, and we learn to identify this earlier and earlier with practice and purpose. The true catosphere is when our body and soul knows what we want and/or needs, and we continue to deny it.
We also discuss how in these difficult moments, with loved ones of all kinds, the immense value of inserting a pause and allowing space for ourselves and the others. Marguerite shares about having a challenging moment with a partner and needing a pause in a delicate moment. She discusses expressing a pause, negating this from a place of grace. This includes maintaining responsibility for our own history and patterns instead of blaming our partner. Within this, we talk about remaining present within the whirlwind of personal relationships. This opens the discussion of intimacy and presence. Steph talks about the definition of intimacy or “eros” as defined by in the book A Return to Eros: The Radical Experience of Being Fully Alive by Marc Gafni. She goes on to highlight how intimacy has been removed from our daily lives and limited to just sexual experiences in a way that is detrimental and unnatural. We talk about the many ways intimacy or eros exists around us all the time. We open the definition of intimacy to include being present with each other.
This commitment to presence and vulnerability is our entry into meaningful relationships and community.
Honored to have you follow along on this journey.
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