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The Dareful Project

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About The Dareful Project

Join Dareful founder Debra Hotaling as she interviews thought leaders, culture disrupters and creative adventurers, as we reimagine our 2.1 life.

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39 episodes

episode Leading with Heart: Alan Mulally's Masterclass in Life, Leadership, and Love artwork

Leading with Heart: Alan Mulally's Masterclass in Life, Leadership, and Love

Regarded as one of the strongest corporate leaders of our time, Alan Mulally [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Mulally]'s legacy is marked by his transformative impact at Boeing and Ford. Under his leadership, Boeing thrived, and Ford not only returned to profitability but also emerged stronger from the Great Recession. This success was no accident; it was the result of Mulally's lifelong commitment to his "Working Together" Leadership & Management System. But as you'll discover, this approach extends far beyond the boardroom—encompassing family, community, and friendships, while addressing the critical challenge of work-life balance and how we show up for those we love. This is not just a lesson in leadership; it's a masterclass in living with purpose. Here is the presentation Alan shares during his discussion: "Working Together" [https://ec884d9f-9ce9-4165-a875-7b460fa20ad1.usrfiles.com/ugd/ec884d_068df6ea1a0a4bdd8f215c85e0113192.pdf] Or ping me and I'll email the presentation to you: debra@dareful1.com [debra@dareful1.com] Thanks for listening. Debra The Dareful Project podcast [https://www.dareful1.com/thedarefulprojectpodcast] Transcript: Debra Hotaling (00:00:08 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/VB1l-sZqurXcKFhATEXpBt_8twDXfjJhVzQv3T4BiDce9OxeX_YpRb1fkWbF2hN-BrRdNL_J5Hy5b1A_BE-khB4SqFg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=8.22]): Hello and welcome to the Dareful Project. I'm Debra Hotaling. I'm joined today for a very special conversation with business leader Alan Mulally. Now Alan is considered one of our strongest corporate leaders, and he has spent his entire professional life developing an approach called "Working Together Leadership and Management System." And … I want to quote here, "and it's connected and collaborative culture of love by design to create value for all the stakeholders and the greater good." He's going to coach us through all of this today. In addition to Alan, we're also joined by Sarah MacArthur. She's editor in chief of Leader-to-Leader Journal, and she's an advisory member of the Francis Hesselbein Leadership Forum. She's going to keep us organized today because we're running this like a working session so that Alan can coach us through our approach. Welcome, Sarah. Sarah MacArthur (00:01:08 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/mPn4EVtqYIg4o0JNI1YWLmg7K1TOmBuvhZiEqtqF_vNEGx2NZsIzJhtN1Z2MqnOSmwPUWNsBVgB5y_OWEYi0pOowz5w?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=68.34]): Nice to be here. Debra (00:01:09 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/azdIMwGnBYBJfVY9NJRlNYZSmZjKDXAJiy9aZCS0siAfxEhgXf6q_NOYfLveSZqzbC76vg6LKhUXUVdXZeWT4NSVb4o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=69.9599999]): Can we go to the first slide? So throughout his career, Alan has developed and nurtured the Working Together leadership and management system, and he's going to share with us how he developed this approach and as a result, how we can be better parents, leaders, friends, partners and community members. We're going to be sharing slides today, and I'm going to make sure that in our show notes that we share those slides so that you can go back and refer to them again. Sarah, let's go to slide two. Debra (00:01:52 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/HnjIdgEUbVVLwlKZFqap5OmX41PR-mmPvFzQKpBCP-6QXs9xYCxkZs9qfp4k-FW7-UsqTXkGwvLIm0pPx4IXPWF_O3U?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=112.77]): So before we dive in a word or two about Alan's professional journey. So he served as president and CEO of Ford Motor Company from 2006 to 2014. And under his leadership, Ford transformed itself into one of the finest automotive companies in the world. And I had the pleasure of working under Alan's leadership during that time. Prior to joining Ford, Alan served as executive vice president for Boeing Company President and CEO of Boeing Commercial Airplanes and president of Boeing Information Space and Defense Systems. From 1969 to 2006, he was named one of the world's most influential people by Time Magazine. He was named Chief and Executive of the Year by Chief Executive Magazine and he was named number three on Fortune's World's greatest leaders, number three. And he's going to explain to us why being number three is important. He currently serves on the board of directors of Google, carbon 3D and the Mayo Clinic, and he sits with global leaders like he's sitting with us today coaching them on how to embrace working together in their own lives. We're going to learn more about that right now. Alan, welcome. Alan Mulally (00:03:11 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/g85Zn3-hCxWupMJYwtPdZQvN5vR7Bz1-5B0_uVNz6Iji8z_y7QrzvOgRU5ZoGO2wVAq4Hv8KUFVqYlYc7DaKdaXZRE4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=191.59]): Well, Debra, thank you so much and a great introduction. I really liked the number three that you pointed out, and I like everybody to know that. I mean, a lot of people ask me, well, Alan, how do you feel about this being number three? And my answer to them always is, I'm really pleased and happy to be number three because number one was the Pope and the rest of us, I'm still trying to go to heaven, so I'm very happy for him. Debra (00:03:44 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/GPYJiEsBQOmJAX4ywq6hanG4O4_BnmkzOGNOiY0gvv1_983bazUge8iae5RSU5kApZWQzmJMcn3Zv9oCGa-oD3k0yB4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=224.83]): So we have something to aspire to there. Alan (00:03:47 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/G0pR5Rva4oFQjNVZLjTAdmPvp0Endi1MJCiOOL1VpbEqatBOD_GxMpk8haWSz-T5DZSosN90QKaEcehe1VyvXgg_yMw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=227.92]): We all do because God is really important. Your religion's really important because to serve is to live. Debra (00:03:55 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/LwCUR_XEZX2JmZrDYBeuGW-a5b_LPDOrU5qNKfXOT4J_fSmtkQ5tzx1vluB0lN0_MVguhABydHfW2BGMYf61yCXs91Y?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=235.69]): So let's get into this. Let's go to slide three, Sarah. So these are the questions that we want to talk with you about today, Alan, hoping you can coach us through. So let's start at the beginning. Let's go with our number one question there. You've served your family, Boeing and Ford and our communities around the world in such a positive way over the years, and so many folks have noticed and have tried to be better leaders based on your example, share with us how you're working together, leadership formation, how it formed, how it developed, and your service journey. Alan (00:04:37 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/DaGySQAsB2WV8aopXasXVQnWaxhZJ3hR3iLQm0oUlOiF0NBfp3LliScmaNFfUx_QosoY2tjKd4GSTHtsJsZVSWsvGWg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=277.0299999]): I'll be happy to do that, Debra. And also it was really fun to agree on these four questions. They really capture who a person is, their leadership, their principles of practices and their beliefs, their values, and especially their behaviors to create value and growth for everyone around the world. So Sarah, if we can go to the next slide, please. Okay. Now this might be the best answer to the number one question. And this is a book that Francis Hesselbein, Marshall Goldsmith and Sarah wrote. And as you described in the introduction, Sarah is a fantastic leader and she also was a best friend, dear friend Francis and a coeditor of the Leader-to-Leader Journal. And also both of them were implementing the Peter Drucker, a foundation, which between the two of them, they were the two most significant leaders moving from command and control with the industrial Revolution to working together leaders that are including all the stakeholders. Alan (00:06:01 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/bSohHh1BZ33QgSGkUSRW2YsJ0ngXgEM_xjhJv-9yZQdNeLNVzlhKpVMk-k2MSf_GgHgTu_aWYNEzRlKK7D-YouDLqEE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=361.25]): And so you look at on the right hand side of the book, and you can see that it was a phenomenal book or is a phenomenal book because it had, I think Sarah maybe what, 35 different authors? That's right. And 35 different authors that were asked by the three of them to write their thoughts for everybody about how is the best way to find your purpose in life and live that way to accomplish that. And so they came, all three of 'em came to see me, Debra, and they said, okay, Alan, we would like you to write the forward to our new book. And they described the new book on the right. And I said, do you mind if I read it? And said, no, no. So that's fine. So I read it and then I met with them again and I said, all three of 'em, you guys, this is a phenomenal book and the authors have great points and I don't think you really need me to be doing the front end of the book. I said, and then Francis said to me, well, you need to know why we're asking you to do this. And I said, okay. And I said, she said, well, Alan, everyone knows who you are. They know what you have done, but they all want to know why you are who you are. Why do you smile all the time? Why do you love people? Why do you include them and respect 'em and align everybody on whatever the compelling vision is you're working on? Alan (00:07:42 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/rT9cB9wNeDdRMWP1vCUVSlOp04WeI-BY-9mIpLqouVeDQu1NyT8P4t2XmCzdrBzpqtYuWzuwJw9fQ2-_MoFPycyOTM0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=462.585]): And I said, well, Francis, I never talk about myself. I never have. That's just not who I am because I care about all of us working together and what we're going to do for service. And she said, exactly, Alan, we want you to describe why you are who you are. I said, well, how should we do that? And she said, well, we'd like you to tell a story that starts with and includes everything about how you were formed. I said, well, where do you want me to start on that? And she said, she got real close again. And she said, when you were born, okay, well I've never done that, Francis. And she said, okay, so we'd love you to do it. So I said, okay, I'll try. I sat down, I started writing it, Debra and I started having fun. I'd never said, it's kind of a neat thing for everybody that we're talking to today is it's just write down your whole life and how you became who you are with your beliefs, your values, and also your behaviors. So I did it and I thought, oh, I bet they're going to give me a lot of suggestions for improvement. It looks like it's written by an engineer. It's got bullets and stuff like that as you can see. Alan (00:09:08 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/QNkKFcydPG9MeEK-LdDnJljZhlUgC9H2znkwYHvIKlnu0EY8y4GKSjtKasK_vYZhAEU05o00kAbvE6fON3dE5XFjNgU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=548.105]): And so they read it and they said, okay, Alan, we and Wiley do not want to change one word about what you said here. So this is the first page, Sarah, the next page. So it starts out with talking about Francis. Then it describes Alan story. This is my writing. And you can see the first one, it gets really, really specific, very clear. The purpose of life is to love and be loved in that order. Thanks mom. Thanks dad. Okay, next slide please. And then it goes on about the story and from my first work or service and all the things that I did and working our way up through high school and college and how I wanted to pair Levi jeans and we didn't have very many resources and maybe some loafers. And so next slide please. And then it moves into the principles and practices that I learned as I was growing up. Alan (00:10:18 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Zxd8Z1_wZkjKapL4opVqQSLJak6PsnYL2kz5PgAvAup8WTe2S3XYkKNGRsNcvUBL2u8bI6QzepO9Jy2tycYBdYqZDvg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=618.48]): And we're going to talk about those starting with people first. I'll be darn people first. And so next slide please. And then it describes the principles and practices and the elements of the working together leadership and management system that we actually then use to implement those principles and practices. Next slide please. And then I sign it at the top at the bottom. And Sarah has been a phenomenal business partner. She was a business partner with Francis for her whole life. She's a business partner with Marshall Goldsmith. And then I was very fortunate that she accepted my invitation to join me to help further develop the presentation of the working together leadership and management system and the content and to teach it to others as you mentioned in your introduction. And then Sarah suggested that I would add my signature onto each of the pages because that's how I used to sign all of the multi-billion dollar contracts when I was at Boeing and at Ford. And that's my airplane Debra (00:11:32 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/mp2wJkm8oFl9lf0IjM_hR3WjFhCUvzw9QXGt2PszX8-W9yRpm-aR0MeMGTB9Tjp2vBb5q8o7EbAKllc1dtlGeRQfv18?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=692.67]): And at Ford it was a heart. And as we know, there are folks who have left Ford and they still have that heart that you would send back to them. It had so much meaning. Alan (00:11:45 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/83U2btCVT2Fygwv9hbG3AZ7S7XtK1DNczNXeVaYY3qw30_8eIBWcz0L_P0GR-4yIrbcTplcDcdqtHx9glmAqR6TcwS4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=705.9299999]): That's true too. Also, I signed all my stuff at Ford with that airplane, and I could tell you since you brought that up, so when Bill Ford was recruiting me and I arrived, all the people started looking at all of the information they could find about me. I was the first CEO in the automobile industry that ever had come from outside of the automobile industry. So here I was coming from the aviation aerospace industry. And so that was my airplane. And so they all saw that and they said, okay, Alan, we'd like to get you off to a good start and we want to suggest a drawing for you that would be an automobile, maybe even the F-150, the number one vehicle for 50 years. And I said, okay. So they worked on it. They kept bringing me versions of it, but they're all so sophisticated that I couldn't do it in two nanoseconds. Alan (00:12:43 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/j_iuDGQzuDh4xSzhbbnq1cwLHt43fn4HQd0UtJYnvj374Hw5sCE_lzBYeWJiFTEPwV6zN73-lAYzo3TkZpb1Rr4kEPs?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=763.96]): I could my airplane. So I said, no, that's okay. I'll just, I don't need to sign anything. And so they came back the next day. They said, okay, okay, Alan, they kept saying, Mr. Mulally, okay, so Mr. Mulally, we would like you to use that same signature for all your work at Ford. And I said, really? And they said Yes, because we are working on potentially a flying automobile in the future. So that looks just like a flying automobile. So this is you are both Boeing and Ford now. Okay, now Sarah, next slide please. Okay, now Debra, I summarized all of that in this one slide for all of us today. And this describes my formation as a human being and also as a leader. And on the left hand side are all of the things that I learned from my parents. And Reverend Dr. Turner who was the head of the congregational church that was right across the street from our home in Lawrence, Kansas, who was absolutely terrific. Alan (00:13:57 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/uoZ3SeDQffQsfpuNHhiSoQijnpEkIlMLXU16IH5DMwIFF8yE2_wHUF4tUMnZGejK6H32ciTxwZNmtHSg1UVn1PMj2CU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=837.49]): And this is the education and the service that I learned. And you look down the left hand and then on the right hand side as the rest of my life. To your question about how I started out with the learnings on the left, then I continually furthered my education and my service through all of the other aspects of my life. So this is my answer to your question. And what's interesting about this on the left is how I learned this because as I mentioned, we didn't have a lot of resources, but my mom and my dad absolutely loved us and they taught us all these principles and practices and the way they would do that there was unbelievable because I mean, it was fun, but it was held very accountable for learning them. So every morning on the way to school out the door, from the day that I can remember, my mom and my dad would ask me these questions on the lip. So my mom would say, so Alan, do you remember the purpose of life? It can be very important for you today. I said, oh mom, I sure remember what you told me about that the purpose of life is to love and be loved. And my mom would get close to me and say, and honey, remember in that order? Alan (00:15:23 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/MPzaErFRLSjXxTynXuTf3bYUQf3APSolmlMgecEkbVcJtHj9vrzw7hfYVeXvkTpaMl5-cR4HLjI5UEPPwZ8Zy_EjggY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=923.39]): Then the next day my dad would say, honey, remember to serve is to live. Oh, absolutely dad. And that was very interesting to me because without a lot of resources, and back to my comment about I just wanted a pair of Wenjun shoes and some Levi jeans that fit in with everybody, that going to work would be really important because I learned from my dad that you get compensated for that. And so that's how I loved doing that. And that became my service. I never thought about it as work. I was there serving because I was living and serving was enabling me to live in a great way. So then the next day, seek to understand before seeking to be understood, phenomenal by working together with others, whoa, we all knew what the word working together was. I'm putting these in quotes because they took working together to a whole other level is when you work together, others, you can make the most positive contribution to the most people, not just the people you're working with, but for all the other people that are benefiting from what you're doing with these people. Alan (00:16:40 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/eBW2G46SE6QjPNu-TR3QbjE1Uib5N3Vfsx01KttEa9zydK1XbnilEPFwpASArItsYMaqk01lWlOEF3r9CRYirar45Cc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1000.73]): Expect the unexpected and expect to deal with it really in a rapidly changing world. Holy cow, this is important. And do it in a positive way. Absolutely. Lifelong learning and continuous improvement, such a big deal because the data says that most people have to get past about 35 or 40, and they stop on their lifelong learning and their continuous improvement. They think they're there, they have it, but we want to be learning every day for the rest of our life and continuously improving respect. Everyone, such a powerful thing. We are all creatures of God and we're worthy to be loved. Develop one integrated life that is your life's work of service, which is a powerful, powerful concept. As we all know, most people think you have two lives, you have your work and life, and you have your rest of your life. Well, don't you just have one life? Alan (00:17:44 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/7dwDmCnqwRiZiFJMuH8Cf9gYlHV4xsNkOT6KjXdvpudnc-SHF8m9c5Bul67Nw3w1ZhDTZZrd8uEdwQgrKYm9_iUminU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1064]): So what you're going to talk about that a little bit and work's just part of it, especially if that work is your service. And then I'll never forget this one, Debra, ever. It's nice to be important, honey, but it's more important to be nice all the time. Okay? Now you look over on the right hand side and every aspect of my life with that, with those mindsets there I was focused on continuing education, lifelong learning, continuous improvement and service, whatever I was doing by myself, but also everybody I was working with was all about service. What are we about to serve others all the way through all the different jobs I had from TV guide route and paper route and construction and farming and helping all of the professors. I didn't. I needed to make the money to pay for my education, which I did. Alan (00:18:53 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/8CJIVCANh2dtDdVqqb6Eb7EDItSMVYPTTAGHY7SMMs0ClCdws3EF9CSon2BZDMQ8B5HG_3aVOuYNk_0y9apqWIb5SII?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1133.16]): So too, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, continuing education and service and wonderful appreciation. And then Nicki, I met Nicki at the University of Kansas, and we've been married for 54 years and we have five children and a rapidly growing set of grandchildren. And again, talk about education when you get married and you have children, a lot of education and really, really important. My thesis advisor when I was working on my advanced degrees was the previous leader of aerodynamics at the university, I mean at Boeing. And he had decided to come to University of Kansas because he wanted to teach everything about aerospace and aeronautical engineering and airplane design. And I was his first graduate student working on my master's and my doctorate. And he was just a phenomenal influence on me, again with education and service. Alan (00:20:11 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/pODDJEPN-NtHguEtrVpGiRs9Il-6YG5tbTY_fILLeth3ikKBkBxlHvoYjE0fU_9izrUr7vEtjBW3HJSM8n604CQxvxU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1211.46]): And he actually, Debra, he was one of the first professors that we did programs where we included all the different disciplines in graduate school and in college to create airplanes for Cessna and Boeing and Learjet. And so, and on one of 'em, we always voted for a leader. And on the one that was the biggest airplane project that we did, everybody voted for me to be the leader. And so he kept saying me when he was telling me about Boeing, and he said this in an article when I was nominated to be the engineer of the year for the seven seven, he said, I told Alan in addition to his nautical and national engineering, that his working together leadership was going to make a big difference when he joined Boeing. And then I never thought I was going to leave Boeing. And then I got a call from Bill Ford, the great grandson of Henry Ford. Alan (00:21:13 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/DTTZketSSytbgMOiwjb2On_rt3s6LgExM_VsO53v00f0s1tEgF05s8-hAjQXfh2YlLB7PLrCDjRchtUoZizP8Ij2Few?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1273.09]): And I mean, he was so neat and he was so authentic and he shared everything with me, and I just couldn't believe how serious the situation there was. I'll tell you a little bit more about that. And so I decided, I never thought I'd leave Boeing, but I decided that I was being asked to serve at a second American and global icon for the good of the world. And so I accepted his invitation and served. So I served Boeing for 37 years and I served forward for eight years. And now Debra, because of you, we are here sharing now our working together leadership and management system with others. And the bottom line of this is on the bottom of this slide. And between Sarah and Marshall and Francis, they had this conversation with me over and over again and they explained this to me with great detail. Alan (00:22:16 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/qNlJA1Ijadkjv5lCesB7ehncCRQg2aeVm7_aZEnH8KKZTfH4T_DTZnzlwP2BA3omEn_qSQx5HgdN9SkPPhXIMWQTJ9I?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1336.3599999]): So Alan, we know you well. You've done a great job of sharing your formation all the way along, and this is the way we think that you live. This is who you are, it's what you do and it's how you do it. And now for the first time, we asked you this because you have now shared with everybody why you are who you are and who you are. And what you do is you believe so much in working together with others. That's why it has quotes on the word working together, because working together is pretty a pretty known expression, but it means including all of the stakeholders that you're working with and you're going to work with them to include all of their knowledge and all of their expertise and all their caring, but also you're going to create value and growth for all of them also. So you're going to be doing this leading and you're going to lead with the who you are, and that is you lead to live as a human being and to love and to serve with humility. So that is the answer to your wonderful first question, which is the first time that I've ever shown this much detail in my whole life when I did this, working together with Francis, Sarah, and Marshall. Debra (00:23:47 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/ZPnK3mPkc8jcDlSXE3j1Wh5mh-Yv1Bd2GiTpCkX-LZQMNc2UViHRKnh8Ne3r_lsG0kEoTe3XRGzIUjYH10sPdgefu3o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1427.6]): Alan, it seems that your parents are remarkable people. Tell us their names so that we can remember them. Alan (00:23:55 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/-a1FjotegrpJ6ShrtIlRIWgcLxRLBVJu-UOyjf-9g88sybiiOyMfBB3LF8f44RYLiU9J4_lOkOvtEEO5uJhjrQvzAGo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1435.34]): Oh my gosh, Richard and Lorraine. Debra (00:23:58 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/J7XZdvEiPK6FASbmo0siPAV98bhsnu5i1Ftrqfr9NvaphE_yRfkEXMRZN7R3RQUQ1zgnDC5dAnQYyWqplCRrNtHN6qk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1438.97]): Richard and Lorraine, thank you. Thank you for your service. They seem like amazing people. Alan (00:24:07 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/gTftZZgxVZdEzPUtF5E19FHfgjW4yc54CVxQ2bVucOo8hUshYeUyCn0ZkcDkEcIiwvAgF4jV-5sz6Fay_5izrM87IMM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1447.7349999]): Well, they were so pleased and so proud. They had pictures of me. My mom kept track of every article that was written about me throughout the years and I stopped by frequently to see both of 'em, just so you know. They would always mention a few things down the left hand side just to share with me, oh, they saw an example of me doing that. So they were always building on what I was doing, so that I really appreciate their appreciation for who I was and why I was that way. Okay, did you have a next question? Debra (00:24:52 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Qeoet8dVRvYzCo9vdmvl--yDJANPwND4SFA_KqF3j-NgyxkGL4BaJ9WejpOk2xQdeXHI7OqqP8N6SsKmFNe4Fm1xm_E?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1492.01]): Alright, so let's dig into working together. Let's talk about, tell us more about the principles, practices, and the connected culture of love by design. How do we get started? Alan (00:25:05 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/MmzDTqhvPAWa-gluTwCMX3ymAORjY-z8Xoc9fE9sLtk0qamjwhInzx3vDwFJalswX9ch09fKnuzJwbOp5Uv_-gri6wI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1505.18]): And next slide please. Now, one thing for all the participants today and all of the people that are listening to a podcast and they're not seeing the slides you're going to have, as Debra said, you're going to have these all available. And so I'm sharing everything that's exactly on the slides. So just know if you're listening and you're not a chance, not getting a chance to see the slides right now that you're hearing the very same points that I want to share with you. And then you can also see the slides later to make 'em come alive even more. Okay? So this slide, the title is Our Working Together Principles and Practices and our Connected and Collaborative Culture of Love by Design. And Debra, I have been told so many times, I mean originally not so much now that I was the first CEO that people ever heard use the word love. Alan (00:26:05 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/QeTetoM5zR1JOH7kn5jm9lILD37OLssScsDT4W3dUDlv6rGFtmSbCuJR_qm5-LIugq9smRQk6sGtYb2ICzQ1B4B4Vsc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1565.81]): No, I'm not looking for a date. I'm thinking about humanity and doing the right thing for a humanity. And a lot more people, of course understand that now as they're adopting and working together and moving away from command and control from a leadership point of view. And so this culture includes the operating processes that we use and the expected behaviors of all the participants. And all the participants means all the stakeholders, all the people that are inside your organization, profit, nonprofit, but also all the people that you're working with to deliver the service together. And the most important thing about both of these things, that operating process that we follow day in and day out, expected behaviors is that we together are creating a skilled, healthy, and psychologically safe and motivated teams. A psychologically safe environment is so important because this is going to be about authenticity. Alan (00:27:18 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/kvG8KiuamMJTpbiXoc-Yik1DxoJdRDU91G1MhxaKUaKXmJ1JZ43F4pjbTLUQ4CdoBp8gVC8B76f7pM-VxZ8Z-sNN_SI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1638.54]): Everybody's sharing what the situation is, sharing what the issues are, because we all know this is a creative process, so we're going to have lots of issues that we're going to want to deal with in a positive way. And so having an organization that people feel safe and excited, not just safe, but they're excited about sharing the greens, the yellows, and the reds is going to be very, very enabling for everybody to help move from the greens, the yellows, and the red items up to delivering the strategy and the vision. So the key elements that we have in both the operating process and the expected behaviors are the following. First, I'll be darn people first. Love 'em up. So I combine what my mom and dad said with what I learned along the way, love 'em up and big heart next to 'em. Second one, everyone's included, all the stakeholders. Alan (00:28:26 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/0I-3ViiBRHqni37gOFZkO6cRcFLSIoFLX61qwSittfqAv_2-1mm_41YD0o8e-O4Jemcn9pwrP7Rgl-S4k3eUc_Qcy-8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1706.13]): Next, what we're about is a compelling vision, a comprehensive strategy for achieving it and relentless positive implementation of that strategy to create that vision. You can see why it's both the operating process and the expected behaviors to create this value for all the stakeholders and the greater good a clear performance goals one plan. Most organizations have multiple plans and people are trying to figure out what the plan is. Another one that's key is we love what people think. We love their opinions, we love them sharing, but we also want to know the facts and data that they're looking at because if we do have an issue and we want to work it together with them, is knowing what they are looking at is going to help us all move forward together even faster to solve the yellows, turn to greens and the reds to turn 'em to yellows, to greens. Alan (00:29:30 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/c_6q_PKTuobXksUuAsCQvZjTfPFmf7fUED-jYF7L6JPeThZFRy_WoJhntIwa5cOYRBmHDO5qNuEbFHVDuS2BeYQo7f4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1770.54]): Then on the right hand side, expect the unexpected and expect to deal with it. Thanks mom. Thanks dad. You can see how everything about me is in these and practices. Next one, everyone knows the plan, all the participants know the plan, the status, and the areas need special attention. This is very rare, Debra, as you know in companies because a lot of people feel like if they have issues and they have some reds and yellows that that's embarrassing to them. Everybody's going to be worried about their company and no. And just use an example, when I went to Ford, we had so many reds. The first thing that Bill Ford shared with me, we're going to lose 17 billion. That's a little red. I mean a lot of red. And so the important thing is to be able to share what the situations are with authenticity. Alan (00:30:30 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/2Q1Xv4doYdBv1mzAjfKpmKsnbe-Xo_yxAdLxToGPBHe08S2DB76QnnUanjqzcL8LoSMYb2m80uelE72bqpbBWn-q0UI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1830.52]): And then you're sharing with everybody inside and outside the organization what you're doing to turn the reds, the yellows and greens. So they get really excited about that and their value goes up of who you are and what you're doing. Okay? Propose a plan, positive, find a way attitude. The positive is absolutely key. We don't operate on the negative side because our belief is that we know we're going to have issues because this is a creative process again. And so we are expecting them and we are expecting to deal with them in a positive way. And then use all of our talent that turn the reds, the yellows, the greens, very sophisticated words in these principles and practices. Look at that, respect each other, listen to each other, help each other and appreciate each other. And look how these are all behaviors. You can see everything about what people are doing and how they're doing it. Alan (00:31:36 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/HyE5-d_JFNmp35kp9i-y10iazS7ucKMGGWlYOZt0NkHtU2xxPfVHwd4klq1LpOq-QKqIsq1hH3wqbGaVrGep2CmGsW8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1896.88]): And we're going to talk a lot about that later and how that aligns with your beliefs and your values. It makes a big difference on moving those in a very positive way. When you're successful at doing this and you realize that these kinds of behaviors are what allow you to become very authentic with your beliefs, your values and your behaviors, emotional resilience, a lot of people think about this and it is kind of tough stuff and it's all a hard thing. And working together, it's fun. All you do is believe in all of these principles and practices. So if you have an issue, trust the process, go right back up to the top, make sure you got everybody involved that needs to be involved. You're all working together and you're going to solve every issue that comes up. The last one, have fun. Enjoy the journey and each other, Debra, every day, every morning, every night, I say thank you. Alan (00:32:41 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/2c6sYsRYz9FyLHc9yD2dyH25tf6AQoRMMCURnYSTVotDXuXL0btLs0hV_nDSBsg1UZ3wtIWFS6xhHDnvQGe8iSzJfrk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1961.12]): I have never enjoyed my life as much as I do every day by living and doing this, working together leadership and management system, the difference we've made for the outputs, the results, the performance, but also the difference in everybody's lives that they get a chance. We all get a chance to be and do this and appreciate how much that is in all people that we're working with. And there's one really important principle and practices that goes along with that psychological safety in a big way is never a joke ever at anybody else's expense. And we all know what that's like when we hear jokes or people are putting people down or they think they're being funny. That's never funny. And when you're creating a psychologically safe environment and you want everybody to share what's going on, if they think they're going to be made fun of, or they're worried that maybe they're going to lose a job because they actually have moved to a culture where it's expected to share what the situation is. Alan (00:33:54 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/m6uox-iECgOx-ddVTk0pLWsPKGhJ975pf59iWkFLBwy1iWLX91LlgE1ViEo3PEHauAujCkMxKh8EDKYi2cv_US6zFiY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2034.62]): And most cultures you're expected only share an issue if you have an answer already. So now you're managing a secret again. And so you don't know what the situation is and you can't work together on solving it, never a joke anyone else's expense. And I mean that takes the whole thing to another level. Now it's all positive. It's all dealing with the principles and the issues that you have and you're doing it in a positive way. And of course the bottom line of all of this for everybody is PGA now at the bottom with a big heart on it. Now, PGA here, Debra does not stand for Professional Golf Association. It stands for profitable growth for all. And if you're not growing your institution profit or nonprofit, if you're not growing it, then it's dying. And remember, I always use profit because it was so simple and so straightforward, and it's so meaningful to explain the purpose of a business because profits equals revenue times margins. Alan (00:35:08 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/HjHEByAnbhV2CeHYepCvDGg5RdLNA3RoZPkZzuP31QxAUb7KdwZ50kSLOM9iDItFINe9zri7EKt9_2V6OPwblo6ZxIY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2108.15]): And great companies make products and services that people want and they value 'em, and that makes the sales go up. And simultaneously, if you're profitably growing, then you're also working on the productivity, the margins, because revenue equals profit times. I mean, revenue times, margins and good companies, everybody on there is on both of those. And if you're growing, it's a lot of fun to work on productivity because if you're not growing, working on productivity usually results in having to lay people off. And so then you wonder why people aren't excited about working on productivity, the ones that are going to lose their job. No, if you're growing, then you are getting now all of the emotional and the cognitive intelligence of being applied to not only the products, but also how you do it. And when you're growing, that is really an opportunity to figure out how to do more with less time and less energy, and people are excited about that. So the PGA results in creating value at all the stakeholders and growth of all the stakeholders because growing the business, but they're also growing themselves and they're helping grow each other. It's incredible. Debra (00:36:40 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Bzsz8XlTRnJlrG1yQ7UmNtKUu6UmJX_2Ljh3nwxZN5-j1HH3ggjmAv0J77sxSAqvTFOMIeuqxTp-X7GLnemwPHcInps?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2200.53]): So Alan, we talked, before we leave this slide, everyone knows the plan, the status, and what needs special attention, which sounds great, but it doesn't always end up being that smooth. And you have a great story I'd love you to tell of when you went to Ford and started leading there. And Ford was in a very bad way, and still everyone felt compelled to come in with green rosy solutions to everything. And what you did for the first brave person who came in with, "we have a problem." Alan (00:37:13 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/mzNcM-tDHRbClo8ppJ39RfvK3iyVkqQIilAI3VVY_DnlQH2JnC8TrdTT08liqmxit_HkS7QL3aN1gGmX-ewAdydbv80?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2233.44]): Oh yes, absolutely. Well, as you implement any new culture or an improvement to a culture, the most important thing that I'd always do is to share everything that we're talking about today. So these are exactly the same slides and information that I took with me from Boeing that I used on every Boeing airplane from the 7 0 7 all the way up through the 7 87, and especially the triple seven airplane family. And so I shared all of these principles and practices plus the leadership and management system. I'm going to show you next with everybody. And they asked lots of great questions. I mean, the talent at Ford is phenomenal, and they were coming from all around the world. I'm going to show you that the real strategy was to create a one Ford, because Ford was set up by Henry Ford all around the world. So I selected all the leaders, they were fantastic leaders, every one of their disciplines, engineering, manufacturing, procurement, communications, HR, everything. Alan (00:38:24 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/tXjG-BiuV_X3_1DwxAEJtnPmBgV5V3ljqB41cWMhRff9vJVGFunc9oolVhhL8pShWwPmeDSVBt8xATA3MyWPGND9fa4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2304.39]): And so I explained it to 'em and I thought, gosh, they thought this is going to be fun. We're going to do this every week. And I'd start out the meeting. They wanted me to start out the meeting and explain our vision, which I'm going to show you and the strategy and the plan and the status. And then each member of the team would then we go around the room and everyone would share their strategy, their status, and the areas need special attention and they'd color code 'em because that's a way to get everybody's attention about what the real set situation is. So we started the BPRs and a lot of 'em didn't know each other because from all around the world. So we started working on the relationship and that got to be really good. And we ended up having about 300 charts as they developed their charts. Alan (00:39:22 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/abyi1wkFIRtw6ghbP6Ih6v4eEtTC9OHZa4c3WHmMhq_ArpE68xV7gr5u0kD4hDX9IMWN56faIRnIr5Czw9E9T-XKDPc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2362.6]): But it turned out that they were all green, to your point. And so I remember the first time that I'd leaned, leaned forward a little bit, and I looked at 'em because they're all connected all around the world too as we're doing the BPR, the business plan review every week for about two hours. And I go through the whole thing with everybody, and I said to them, now we've shared some data here you've never seen before by the finance leader, and that is we're going to lose 17 billion [dollars]. So I said to them, is there anything in your area responsibility that might not be going well? I mean eye contact went down to the floor and under the table and because again, like we talked about, this culture was new and heaven, this culture that was going to be transparent and you're expecting to share everything, and you're also supposed to share whether their reds or yellows are greens, and you're responsible for it, it more than anybody else. So it's accurate. So the next week they were all green again, and now people are looking a little bit more down underneath the table. Alan (00:40:38 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/v7C0htpLH8st6fcibfTV8_-MK27IZ9ANJbUX6ALLIQq6kVMQZJ4iiX24bHK3dgGlo58nHCfZgZUK2YphPYZX3jGABnc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2438.17]): And then Mark came in, Mark Fields, who was leading North America and including Canada, and they had an issue in Oakville, Canada with one of the new SUVs. And so we had agreed that we were going to make world-class quality and performance on all the vehicles, which we were doing. And so if we had an issue, then we wouldn't deliver those vehicles. So he stopped production. So he's having his meeting, his business plan review the night before we're doing ours, and up comes this chart that's about the launches of the new vehicles, that new product development. And usually we had 35, 40 vehicles around the world that we were creating. So up comes this vehicle and the three columns are the technical status, the schedule status, and also what it means to financial impact. And for this vehicle, it goes green, green, and green. And he says to his team, this looks like one of those red things Alan's talking about. Alan (00:41:55 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/kaqWe8cXKTHi3udipepnfToGoNnEi-8NlCcLJ8N-guwIvqwCU5ABGaK4zZwXqc0xRInAggR4dDGBj5OAlwkSgH7x2rY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2515.34]): And the team kind of listens and they go, yeah. And he said, so I think we should tell her this one red. And one of the senior vice presidents actually said to him, Debra, when we did this before, people sometimes just lost their job because you weren't supposed to bring up a problem if you didn't have a solution. And he said, well, I see why Alan's saying this. We all do. He wants us all to know so we all can work on it together and solve it. If we need help on this case, I think we'll solve it, but I see why he's asking this, so let's do it. And then another senior vice president says, John, nice to know you, mark, good luck. And so the next day we start the business plan review, green, green, green, and then up comes this red chart. Whoa. I mean it got so quiet, the eye contact went down to the floor again, they're kind of looking out of the side at me, they're looking at Mark. And I started to clap. Alan (00:43:12 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Pbg8GiknJpaS9iz-jaW2pN3bmgD15-iDB3md9kJmQpO_a1k13pBiBH9li3o_UC_VZYVstT51KHXZckaXU0aLwfDOkTw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2592.3449999]): And later on everybody told me that when they heard me clap that we were in the world headquarters of the Ford Motor Company in Dearborn, Michigan on the 11th floor. And two large doors were behind me, and they thought that my clap was going to result in those two doors opening. Two large human beings were going to come in and extract Mark from the meeting. So I said, Mark, that is fabulous, and that's the kind of visibility that we need, and can you tell us a little bit more about it? And do you need any of our help? Do you want to put that on the special attention list or not? And he explained it and he said, we just have run into it. We have people working on it. I think we're going to be able to solve it, and I'll let you know next week. Alan (00:44:17 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/5AQ8HkA-IymRiRX-2FkEwFsRUvh1eL4LEjYA2ac2D6IIdvxyaa2MoCaBLQNcwvl2ar6EaX9ZC03JdUdGX3bsJlKvML8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2657.75]): I'll give you a status and then if we think we need everybody's help, I'll mention that too. So I said, that's great. And I also said to everybody, any of the leaders have anything you want to say right away to get help to Mark? And three of 'em had a comment. This all lasted for about, gosh, 20 seconds. But one of 'em said, the head of engineering worldwide said, Mark, I've seen that issue before. I'll get you that data today. And the one that in the quality leader had the same kind of comment. And then the head of manufacturing worldwide said, okay, I know we're going to figure this out, and so you're going to need some manufacturing engineers up there to help do the transition from your new part, from your old part to your new part, and then get the vehicles flowing around the world. Alan (00:45:09 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/SuTRpsLMQOvd4GZC8XoAxwy5M_WVQSu3afEy2MvtaccQhhcBupa6WpiYVTLlfcqaKKztcrBgJvfEWGSWJOCDdhmAQf0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2709.54]): I'll get those to Canada right away. And then we went on and next week it was the only red. And everybody's looking at me, they're looking at Mark. And I had said to Mark during the week, he was sitting on the other side of the round table, and I said, Mark, I'd like you to sit next to me this next week, but I forgot to tell him why I said that. And so he thought that I was going to fire him in front of everybody because he didn't. He still had a red item. And so he shows a red again and still supportive of him. And then a couple weeks later, it turns to yellow, and then a couple of weeks later it turns to green. And the next week, Debra, the entire 300 charts looked like they looked like they were in front of a rainbow. Alan (00:46:06 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/pcQLtoeQVuCyVN7EUWTUJN0uWQpjCLAs-yDUa5Abmq3p2QYVsHj3rJFTQNYxgyS2VTul8LrjNt-mrey26oHmFDHEL3g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2766.36]): And there are a number of reds, but there were still a lot of greens and just a few yellows and a few reds because you want to celebrate all of the greens at the same time. You're looking at the yellows and the reds because this is about the whole thing. And there's a lot of things that there's always so many things to feel good about, and it's inspirational so that you positively work together on the reds that require you together. And so once we did that, then from then on, I knew no matter what happened, including the economic crisis in 2007 and eight, which is the worst recession we've ever had since the depression in the twenties and the very same process, it had a huge impact on us. And we did our working together and we actually did not ask for money from the US government. We did not go through bankruptcy like GM and Chrysler because the working together enabled us to deal with all those issues in a positive way. Debra (00:47:19 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Xv8xoVn-Uq1FPQP03ih5nhB1JZo2D5dJiRWTC9PdPZjJsMm4p-KXnhXfNFrVdzEJBvQbIrOu-pV_64TD4YfW2_ZN7Cc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2839.02]): And the butterfly effect of that, which you might not know because you weren't for those of us down in the trenches when that happened, that story was told among Ford around the world. That was our sort of cultural moment. Did you hear what happened at the meeting? And Mark Fields absolutely. And Alan applauded. And so we knew in our hearts that this was a different organization and then we could be brave and we could share with our leaders. Alan (00:47:48 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/jTPnnseeBZdEUjKhu14Zp2xztpW03PSEag90w5e-x_M02LIAntWqyTt0ZgmIkU29oEA7A_g0z4vewtuLGR_vMChXmK0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2868.19]): That's such an important part of Working Together because that data, we actually share Debra all the way down to the organization like you said. And so because it goes to everybody, because they're the ones that are leading color, coding them the following week. So the data goes down through everybody along with the financial data. Baca comes up, and when you're looking at the charts, what you see is here was the color last week, here's the color this week. So I've missed maybe 10, 12 BPRs in my 47 years a servant. And no matter where I am, even with the kids and we're traveling and stuff, they all want to see it too. So we just call in because they want to see all of the colors changing and here comes some new reds. Woo. Wow, that's exciting. They want to know about that. Then boom, here's a red going to yellow and a yellow going to green. Well, everybody's so excited about this because we're just continually making progress to deliver this strategy and that compelling vision and Boeing's case that safe and efficient transportation for everybody around the world. In Ford's case, it's the open highways to all mankind around the world. And we're watching the yellows and the greens and the reds and the reds going to yellow and green and delivering on schedule our fabulous, compelling vision. Alan (00:49:25 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/rfVAHZskYIq6PraKO-MovAEPKDGMoPuBUU5zL0o9_tezVL-JCQd2TmqIbte_4NdRrcz5lc2YpRnL901mGZ2lDeOwbyo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2965.51]): Okay, your next slide, next question. Debra (00:49:30 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/J2u_uMTopQNyPk5SsxP1yTNEdRNJYuXXzXDWOn6ZHqxe_snpsnaCwXkluKqSgomPjHRfumg9biluc1mvCejJzo8s6Ec?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2970.4]): We've been talking about working together and leadership. Share with us how we can adopt that, how we can get started ourselves. Alan (00:49:40 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/3kdWWvVQbgyHxXos2Fqa39se56ChTyFS8bAPZjNeWIxK97_BuIx5VsPxvcdox7kJ1C6_H9-6VIiAY-rJ2ODxurfuHts?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2980.545]): Okay, that's really important the way you asked that question because these are the principles and practices and the leadership and management system is the way we implement it. And everybody knows the principles and practices, and now they also know starting with the BPR, exactly what the management system is that we're going to implement this. Okay, next slide please. Sarah. Oh, I'm sorry. I have two. I said a summary of this, but I want to show you some data. It goes with it. I talked about Boeing and Florida, so I want to show you how exciting this is to have a compelling vision. So here's Boeing, and this is you look on the left hand side. Here's a handwritten agreement that we made with Boeing signed by the leaders of Boeing and the leaders of United Airlines. And you can see on the right hand side, this is what's on the handwritten one. Alan (00:50:44 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/q2xBYmfhCY094nzsljiUiajVSkwHRVIZQhUjP_dIXnsxsHmXAjff5iB1Sh9SmzJ8HQhgb43nzo-jngFiDLCqFyksD2w?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3044.09]): In order to launch an on time and a truly great airplane, we have a responsibility to work together. As you can see, where we really adopted the working together because we knew with United Airlines, this is the only way we were going to make the finest airplane ever designed in the world with the 7, 7, 7 family to design, produce and introduce an airplane that exceeds the expectations of flight crews, cabin crews, maintenance and support teams, and ultimately our passengers and the shippers. And now look at these performance results from day one, the best dispatch reliability in the industry. That means it leaves on schedule within a few minutes of the schedule every day. Unbelievable quality, reliability, maintainability, the greatest customer appeal in the industry. Whoa mean it's preferred by all of the airlines over every choice they have and everything works. And that is on the day from first delivery, not later. Alan (00:52:07 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/e5i5OoInn-ELsFbsIXT-9VBiNKUk-tygEE01gyoKN_vKp9PIs8K94WbVMKNqqnfxDZHLbJn1cUwpW-dXHze-vJelIjg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3127.13]): Like most of the products, it takes a few years to work your way through all that. We've already done all that testing ahead of time. So on day one, it's going to fly halfway around the world safely and efficiently. No airplane ever, ever has accomplished these objectives. And we did it by quote, working together. Richard Albaugh was head of sales for Boeing. Phil Condit was the head of engineering product development, and I was his leader for engineering and the seven airplane. And so next slide please. And here it is. Here's the seven seven, and this is the rollout. And all the people down below are 110,000 people that came to the rollout. And when you look at the slide, you're going to see all the people holding up their children so they can touch the bottom of the airplane. Alan (00:53:11 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/PdoImcHdHXXVppvJkLGAfm7Bq2t43CyN6Kd6esox_utw7wz3Xuk_ozqmBK0wAyMeyFpjrjKLIIHtbIIzhca86hTrKMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3191.75]): Not that they necessarily made the wing or the bottom of the airplane, but they would say to their kids, we can listen to 'em. Okay, now if you go straight up, honey, you're going to see the seats. Are you going to see the cockpit? Are you going to see this? And so you also can see on the front of the airplane up by the cockpit windows have a red cursive there. You look over at the top of the slide, you can see working together. So that's written on the airplane. Whoa. Now that is very unique because on airplanes getting ready for first flight, you always put on the pilot's name. They are the only ones that are on the airplane. Okay, next slide, please. Here they are. And so here's John and Kenny. And so look at the airplane and you can see they're working together now. Alan (00:54:07 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/5i69EG38STTujt0REGe4xYtqudEgD-cPQFcpKxpxEslvohIEs5o3-T79vpmoL0yF4aXXlH3J3pS8PPXjM6-56xKtGxE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3247.32]): And so when we painted the airplane, we had their names underneath the windows and they came to see me and they said, Alan, this is the most phenomenal experiences that we have ever had. We've never been invited from day one to help with the creation of the airplane, and it's going to be the best airplane ever, ever designed, and we would like to celebrate everybody that contributed. And so we want to replace our names with working together for the first life. And I could tell by the way they're saying it that I had to agree. And so I had them for fun. I had them share this idea with the entire leadership team at the BPR. I mean, I've never seen so many tears. They're going to have their name on the airplane working together. They're part of the team. And you can see all of the launch airlines, all their symbols, their brands down the left hand side. Alan (00:55:17 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/58NH28wC2hqGsE0gsRMcj4-zZbF40aqfD7CgjlEOZ4r5NmxIY9ISyUwcHDOHqO0hd_yWP2QB_pXBIKYgmwqSI4EAQNM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3317.64]): And then we did this first flight. Usually they're like an hour, an hour and a half for our first flight. And so we've done everything, verification, validation, everything ahead of time. But it works so well that their flight was over four and a half hours long and they had a couple of just small issues. They actually started a flight test program to validate all the rest of the airplane. So it was the most fantastic first flight ever. Okay, and next slide please. Now moving to Ford. Here is Bill Ford, and I told you about how wonderful he is. He's just a phenomenal leader. He's the head of the Ford Family, great grandson of Henry Ford. His whole career, I loved working with him. Best partnership, one of the best partnerships I've ever had. Alan (00:56:18 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/7aLS0uEQlH8sYw6tmvRM9SHnZpAFCrf8CSG-Caoagl35_x2UevvNUaiLCcOY7jbhrsX9ZQ8niK4z-euQO_SKxIJjA2Y?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3378.9]): He actually said to me, if you want to replace me as the chairman in addition to the CEO of Ford, I'll be happy to give you that responsibility too. And I said to him, Bill, I would only come if you stayed as a chairman because you represent the entire Ford family. You own the company, you have this wonderful history. And so I'll only come if you stay as the chairman and we have one of the best working together relationships ever. I shared everything about him with working together, and that's one of the reasons, one, the biggest reason he wanted me to come and my experience implementing it. So next slide, please. And I included this for everybody that's watching too. Alan (00:57:19 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/oBTlE2OZ15_z-NPnvc__K1pqJ7g_bHLl7K4mq42vtTPb7xPSrKsf9W4T3zfFCe2odbi74RkwkRyKy__kvfB3Lvs6Bt4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3439.69]): Here's a slide of opening the highways to all mankind, and this is Henry Ford's original vision, early 1920s. And you can see the factory in Dearborn right behind. And you can see all the vehicles and all the words down at the bottom of this slide are so fun to read because he described everything about their strategy to accomplish this vision. And that strategy is almost verbatim the same as our working together strategy and that we use at Boeing and at Ford, and especially the working together part. And then next slide please. I included this for you and all of the team, all of the people that are watching. And this slide is the one Ford plan. So here's our strategy, and this was on a card that everybody carried. It was also on the walls in every office around the world. And on the run, half of it was the one team, one plan, one goal. So it had the basic strategy and the plan and look at the backside, had the expected behaviors. And all of those behaviors include all the ones that I showed you earlier. But I did it with the 14 because I wanted them to be part of it, and I wanted to tap into all of their knowledge and expertise and experience and look at the way they organized it, "FORD." Alan (00:58:51 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/BiEZPZJ9kC6O6DX-1MskvfpuszjqS-4aMdciae8FXxvIbjWSot83K_S783i-vStUd2RiEDClJ1l1vMRpyICL8SxZ-Lk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3531.28]): So I mean this was adopted by all 400,000 people immediately. Plus it all went to all of the stakeholders also. And then you can see down at the bottom that five or six elements of the plan. And we were going to support, we're going to support the markets all around the world, not just the us. And you can see the size of the airplanes, small, medium, and large, where the small ones are really a big deal, which is what we really did. And which Ford's doing again now. And also they're going to be best in class and small, medium and large. And also the last element was a leadership team globally that is using, working together and all these expected behaviors. And that resulted in us moving from that $17 billion loss to 8, 7, 8, 9, 10 billion profits. And we became the number one brand in the United States the fastest growing around the world. Alan (01:00:00 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/XKFyP4p9hZ4I0CHcISyd-e_GzpO97sBEGHg6vsLKLYQtGPzDlFtHrO21-vyEM5Yheg5SIvVDdguy33Fftk3rmUQGVlo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3600.83]): We paid back all of our 23 and a half billion loan that we took out to help with the financing. Also, we moved from near the bottom on the automobile companies that the suppliers like to work with where we were number two, almost equal to Toyota, which is number one in the world. And the neatest, no, also on the profitable growth, we are intraday low on the stock price was a dollar one, and when I left, it was $18 and 37 cents. So we had appreciated approximately 1837%, which is why I get an email or a note every day from all of the people around the world about the value that we created as well as the growth for everybody. And then of course, the data that I just we all loved was the employee survey. And as we all know, the employee survey usually has all of the questions. Alan (01:01:21 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/UC973hpf2_04axN2jYCQ4EzQt_VdQtRa4OXVBBuyjeXAdVbHm3lkZIqKyhcZDB2LI3IJAegHyWaTN6vmspWDRF5nZtw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3681.05]): And then they have a summary question and what do you think about the company and what they're about and what they're doing and their plan, their vision, their strategy and plan, and how well do you know it and how well do they respect you and how well are you being included? So all the things they ask in a survey, they summarize that, and then you fill out whether you agree with it or you don't, and what percent of the people you could see that believed in that. And so they did that, and at the first it was around 35% were positive. And what's interesting is that most companies are somewhere between 35 and 45% just in general everywhere around the world, which means what an opportunity, because that's saying that most people are not there to help build a cathedral. They're just here to make some money to try to live on. Alan (01:02:24 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Z27uH1AS4woHz-TimuI0nSEkLKQDR-63Hib0LEs4QcJqt9Z6mw5zkrTpYRWucFyIR5-mKdsc_lqZW6ZmmG8g5j6VYMM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3744.755]): And so at Ford, we started out at 35%, and when I left, the percent positive on the employee survey was the 95%, and it was the highest in the world with this large phenomenal company. So again, this creating value and growth for all the stakeholders is just a very, very, very powerful concept where everybody, all the stakeholders benefit. Okay, now that leads me to your third question and next slide, Sarah. And here it is. And for everybody, this is a little bit more sophisticated slide, but it's really simple. And these are the five elements on the slide that make up the leadership and management working together system that creates this connected and collaborative culture of love by design that delivers creating value and growth for all the stakeholders and the greater good. So we covered the principles and practices. The governance process is really key that you have members of the board of directors that absolutely believe in this versus command and control and things like that, and they support selecting the CEO that operates this way and believes this along with the senior management team and then the leadership team. Alan (01:04:02 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/9NLxuv3LM5-GqfkfdyXrbZccHoPdHZleKYvzwYqYARL1CACdBW0A4kpuDx0-EUaAkhLKxlP0BstlnLmejAEzeD0c6qg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3842.19]): You can see all of the characteristics that are important. I mean, all the people that you recruit for, all the different jobs need to be world class at it, engineering, manufacturing, procurement, but also you're also including all the stakeholders. So stakeholder-centered leadership, if leaders are coaching and facilitating, not command and control, telling everybody what to do because you have all these hundreds of thousands of people that are really, really, really intelligent now with a very positive working together attitude and behaviors. And of course, cohesive, diverse, inclusive with everybody. Humility, love, service. Thank you, mom and dad, courage, discipline, resilience, ability, authenticity, which we're going to talk about integrity, positive mindsets, starting with growth and psychological safety. And also you can see the biggest one, one of the most important that we've talked about is that this leadership team is responsible and accountable for the leadership and management system with zero tolerance. Alan (01:05:13 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/0y6jxe-AHXSc8ok3G8PPVFhgitkkmMeKb9nHBKqPbWakfzdI0Z30LexhBbACWVCQcylYaq_AEU__mLLjhohKbKqXVww?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3913.02]): To your question, Debra, that zero tolerance for violating the operating process or the expected behaviors, or you have that conversation with somebody and it's okay. I mean, it's okay if it doesn't work like we were talking about. Then you tell 'em it's okay because what they're doing is they're deciding to move on because they can't make it here and you love 'em up. Principals still love 'em up, but most of the people then will accept your opportunity to have a coach. The team's going to coach you and help you. And then of course when they move from wherever they are on command control or wherever their behaviors are to move in this way, it changes their life, which we're going to talk about your next question. And then using stakeholders that are coaching and which was embedded by Marshall Goldsmith, which starts with the team helping each one of us, including me, identify a couple of things a year that we're going to work on that'll further improve our leadership

26 Aug 2024 - 1 h 46 min
episode Why we love being Middlescents: Grace Creative LA's Susan Lee Colby artwork

Why we love being Middlescents: Grace Creative LA's Susan Lee Colby

We're a spicy group, says Grace Creative LA [https://gracecreativela.com/] founder Susan Lee Colby, "teenagers with money." She says it with love—because she's one of us and, as the founder of Grace Creative LA, she sees our potential. Susan points out Americans age 50 and up contribute so much to the U.S. economy that if we were counted as our own country, we'd constitute the world's third-largest economy [https://www.aarp.org/politics-society/advocacy/info-2019/older-americans-economic-impact-growth.html]. Listen to this terrific conversation with Susan about how she and her team are shaking up marketing to the midlife+ consumer--otherwise known as middlescence--why Twiggy rocks and how fashion is making 45+ the New Hot Thing.

29 Feb 2024 - 33 min
episode From boardroom to big screen: meet filmmaker Melissa Davey artwork

From boardroom to big screen: meet filmmaker Melissa Davey

We're talking with filmmaker Melissa Davey whose documentaries focus on the adventures of women over 60 including Beyond Sixty and her newest film, Climbing into Life. But like the women she features in her films, Melissa is unexpected. Find out more in our The Dareful Project conversation. Transcript: Debra Hotaling (00:05): Hello and welcome to The Dareful Project, a podcast series where we explore how cultural disruptors are re-imagining the second arc of our lives. If you like this episode, a gentle reminder to please review and share with your Dareful tribe. Today we're talking with filmmaker Melissa Davey, whose documentaries focus on women over 60 having great adventures and the women she features, Melissa is also having a great adventure and is really unexpected in all sorts of ways. We're going to find out how. Melissa, welcome! Melissa Davey (00:42): Thank you. It's so good to be here. Debra (00:45): So ground us. You did not start out as a filmmaker. How did you get here? Melissa (00:52): Oh boy. It's a long circuitous route. I will tell you, because I'm almost 74. So look at all of those years. I started out in nonprofits and maybe for 12 to 15 years, and then moved into the for-profit world and was a corporate executive for more than two decades, building and running a division of a large national company. And it was not my dream to do all of that, but it was where my route took me and things came before me and I grabbed them and I tried them and I did them and I enjoyed them. But honestly, when I was in the corporate world, I almost felt like an actor. I never would've chosen that for myself. But I just walked into it one day and it was a wonderful experience. But what happened was turned 65 while I was there, and I will tell you I was lucky that I was not in an ageist company. Melissa (01:59): There was no reason for me to leave at all. I could still be there today. There are many people, especially women in the company that are well over 65. But I hit that magic number 65, and I was reviewing my life and looking at the work that I was doing, and a bunch of things came together all at the same time. That kind of hit me in the head and I sat there saying, geez, is this it? Am I just going to die at this desk or what else I done? Good lord, I'm 65. I ought to take a look at that. So at the same time that I was thinking about my age and what else I wanted to do, the company was fought out again by venture capital. And I had been that through that rodeo a few times, and I knew that, oh my gosh, as one of the executives, I'm going to be required to sign up for another five years with this new sale. Melissa (03:01): And the CEO who I reported to said, think about it. What do you want to do? And it didn't take me long. I went to a meeting that week in DC, a congressional meeting for testifying about Social Security disability, which was a part of my job. And I remember sitting there thinking, my God, this is like deja vu, like Groundhog Day. I've been coming here for 20 years. The meeting isn't changing. What am I doing? Am I really making a change here? And so that was happening and work was happening, and I was getting older, and I was like, oh. So I left that day and I left early from DC I did not go back to work. I went and hung out with a friend when I got back here and she said, you need to come with me to pick up my daughter from school and then we'll go have some fun. Melissa (03:52): So driving up to pick up her daughter and take her to her horse barn after school, my friend said, I come here every day and I think they're making a movie over there. And I looked and there were lights and screens, and I was like, yeah. Oh my God, I love film and I've always loved film, and I am just so curious about it, how people made films, what it was like and what would it take and could I do it? I thought about that many times from the time I was a child. So there we are sitting on the side of the road and I said, I bet I know who it is, and she's looking at me, how the hell this could possibly be? And I said, well, it's a spooky looking setup, and it's an old creepy farmhouse, and it's Pennsylvania. It must be M. Night Shyamalan, it's got to be him. Melissa (04:46): And so he lives here and he does as scary movies and it looked like something he might do. So I pulled out my iPhone and I looked up his name and his website came up and on his website was a picture of where we were sitting. It was weird. It was this long driveway leading to a scary looking old farmhouse with all these crackly trees down the drive. And I'm looking at it and looking at his website and it says, M Night Shyamalan is making a micro budget film in Chester County, Pennsylvania. So I said, well, definitely it's him. And so there was a button on his website that said Charity Buzz, and I had never heard of that. So I hit it and it said, win a day on the set with M. Night Shyamalan. No. And so my friend is, yeah. Melissa (05:41): So my friend is like, well, obviously you have do this. So all of the proceeds from the bidding would go to the Milan Education Foundation, which I was reading about while I was sitting on the side of the road by the crackly trees. And the foundation was phenomenal. It's worldwide and they do great work. So I said, okay, so I can justify betting money to try to win a day on the set with him. Short story, I won the bet, and after putting in a lot of money against a dentist in New Jersey, they picked me and I was sitting at work at my desk and I knew they were going to call it. So I had my iPhone up and I was doing my work and meetings and my iPhones up and Bing, it came through Melissa, Davey, you have won a day on the set with M. Night Shyamalan . Melissa (06:32): And from there, within the month, I was with him for an eight to 10 hour day when he was filming his film, The Visit. And it was an amazing experience. I went there with absolutely no idea of what would happen. I figured he'd sit me in a seat and I'd get to watch. Well, he had me behind the camera asking me questions, telling me what he was doing. I was communicating with the crew. It was the most exhilarating experience I'd had in decades. I mean, it was amazing, so at lunch, yeah, Night and I were sitting together at lunch night. And he said, what do you do for work? And here I am trying to explain risk management insurance, social security, disability, blah, blah, blah, to this young guy, probably young enough to be my son if I'd had him very early. Melissa (07:38): And he had only been in film his whole life. So he kind of glazed over when I told him what I did. And he said, immediately, what do you really want to do? And I said, oh, I want your job. And he said, well, you better hurry up. And it was a silly conversation that today he would never remember, but it was when he said that, do you ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Somebody just threw a brick at you. And I sat there and I thought, this is very odd that all of these circumstances have happened in this month with me thinking about work with me, going to DC with me, taking that afternoon off and going up the dirt road, and then sitting with him and him saying, well, what do you really want to do? And I just knew at that moment, I want to try to make a film. Melissa (08:34): And I went home late that night and my husband knew I was excited, and he was like, well, how did it go? And I said, John, I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to be a filmmaker. And he is known me for a long time. So he kind of just looked at me curiously and said, oh, okay. And then the next day I went to the CEO and I said, look, I'm going to give you a very long notice, but I am going to leave the company and I'm going to make a film. So I did. I gave a year's notice because I needed to mentor somebody to take over something that I had created for the company. And during that time, I had the ability and the time to figure out how am I going to start this process of filmmaking that I've never had any connection to other than a love of film and a curiosity about how they're made. Debra (09:32): As you're describing this, I'm thinking that this is a romcom with your own life as the love interest. Melissa (09:40): Could be. I mean, it could be, I mean, is a pretty curious story. And it's funny how it all happened, but I also, I tell you all this because things like this happen to people every day. It does. People are thinking about what they want to do and something might stop them, or people meet somebody and they challenge them to think about something a little bit differently and they might ignore it. So to me, the signs are already there all the time, but are we really connecting to them and are we curious about them and do we see them and do we follow through? Yeah. Debra (10:21): Can we talk a little bit more about that? Because it makes sense when you tell the story. It's cinema, it's cinematic, and it's obvious that you had to do this thing. But I think in real life, many of us have those aha moments, but they're so tiny or there's so much noise, noise to info ratio going on in our lives that it's super easy to miss that or to be afraid of it or to go, I can't already, that weird roommate that's in our head all the time starts talking it down. Can you talk a little bit more? Did you feel any of that? How did you kind of work through it? Melissa (11:00): Yeah, I really didn't. It was almost like a gut reaction. And I think that because I was older, maybe if I had, honestly, if I was 50, I probably would've said, oh my God, I can't do that. I have all these responsibilities and I have this, and I have that and my job and making money and saving money for the future. I think that if I had been younger, I would've let those voices stop me. But because I was older and because I was already thinking about change, I was more open to it. So seeing the signs, I see signs all the time, and I've seen them my whole life and many I did ignore, and I think back and I wonder, well, what if I had gone down that path? What if I had taken that detour? Would I have been doing something else today? Would my life look different than it does today? Probably, probably. But for the most part, when you are stopped, I think from going forward with any curiosity you have about a subject or something that's placed in front of you for sure, and it's usually around fear like, well, I don't know how to do that. I'm not trained to do that, so I'll just forget about it. I think that happens most of the time, most. Debra (12:25): So you decide to go, and then here's the big leap. So you're like, okay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a filmmaker. And then you think, what's next? What do I do? What did you do? Melissa (12:39): Okay. I knew logically from building businesses and creating teams that I needed people to help me. I needed people smarter than me that knew the film industry that would be able to help me make this happen. So I immediately started reaching out to anybody that I knew that had a connection in the Philadelphia area with filmmakers, producers, and I was introduced to a group in Philly and thought, well, this will be my first meeting and I'll throw it out there, see what they think, and maybe they will suggest somebody that I could meet with. Well, they liked the idea of the project. I already had the project in my head the day after I decided I was going to try to become a filmmaker. So I gave it to them and they said, wow, we would really like to do this with you. And that was Expressway Productions. And they were mostly young men, mostly, and I mean younger than my kids. And I thought, well, this is going to be interesting. They're going to be working with me, and I'm going to be the learner. And I was always the top dog boss. They're now going to be the boss showing me how to do this so that I can create something that makes sense. And so for the next almost three years, we worked together on the Beyond 60 film, and it was an incredible, incredible experience. Debra (14:10): So give us the pitch. What was the first project? Melissa (14:15): The first project is Beyond Sixty, and it is a documentary film telling the stories of nine women. And these nine women are from all over the country with completely different stories. They range in the age between 63 and 87, and really were highlighting their resilience, their life stories, and their continued relevance. So my goal was to say, look, if I'm going to become a documentary filmmaker, which I thought was the safest thing to do, I wasn't ready to write a script and try to do it that way. I thought, well, I'll tell real stories because I am a storyteller. I did it in business, I've done it in life, and it's comfortable for me, and people are usually comfortable telling me their stories. So I thought, well, what better to talk about than somebody like me, an older woman who's made changes in their lives, who've had good times, bad times, but they're still relevant and they're still doing new things and here's what they're doing. Melissa (15:19): And to put them out there on the big screen and tell the world that we are still relevant, we should not be ignored, we should not be invisible. And just because our looks change doesn't mean that our curiosity changes or our ability to do work and to do it better than we did when we were younger. So that was my whole goal of putting that out there. And it was an amazing experience doing it, and it made me realize that this process was really fun. It was difficult to learn in spots, but most of it was logical, and I guess I should do it again. So I'm on my second film now. Debra (16:07): And tell us about the second film. Melissa (16:10): The second film is Climbing Into Life, and it's in final stages of post-production right now. It just got the okay clearance review from my lawyer, and we're locking everything down this week, and it should be out for sound and color correction in the next couple of weeks and be ready to submit to film festivals in March. And climbing into Life is a story of one woman, and this time it's a woman who, she's now 72 years old, and she is the oldest woman to have climbed El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. And she just happens to be the mother of Alex Honnold of Free Solo. So if anybody has watched Free Solo, this is his mother, and her story is remarkable. And filming her was a joy and so much fun. And once again, another story of an older woman saying, look, I never did this before, but I became curious about it. So I thought I would try. And by doing baby steps, I led myself to be able to do this. And it's an incredible story, incredible story. Debra (17:26): You and I were talking about this before we started recording. I had the privilege of interviewing her back in 2021 for The Dareful Project, and she is incredibly smart. I loved our interview in fact, because there were a couple of questions where she's like, that's not a very good question. Here's what you should be asking me. And I just loved that there was a real high bar for any discussion that I had with her. Melissa (17:49): That is Deirdre! Debra (17:52): I'm like, okay, I'm bringing my A game for our convo. But folks should also know that she wasn't always climbing with Alex. She didn't start until later on. Melissa (18:05): She was in her sixties when she was 66 when she did the climb. So she didn't run until she was in her very late fifties and running started, and her daughter got her started running, and then she was so curious about what Alex was doing from a fear standpoint. She was like, I don't understand what this kid is doing, but I'm curious, so maybe he'll show me. And he was just showing her the Rock gym, the climbing gym, and that give it a try, mom, see what you can do. And she fell in love with it, and she's a very inwardly challenging individual, and she kind of liked it, and she knew she was weak in spots, but she thought, I can do this. Well, this would be a cool thing to do. So that led to, Hey, Alex, how about taking me up that huge rock? Melissa (19:01): And he's like, sure, mom, we can do that. And so she trained for many, many, many weeks in order to be able to make that climb. And she talks about how difficult it was. It was not easy for her because she was never an athlete. She was only an academic in so many ways, an artist, a musician, speaking several languages, an amazing a writer. She's an amazing woman. But to be able to in your later years become an athlete of sorts is remarkable. And it just goes to show you when you watch her, and I was with her in Yosemite and I was watching her climb, and she doesn't do it the way young people do. It's a difficult process, and she makes it very clear that I'm not trying to compete with the kids. I'm competing with myself, and I want to get to this point. So here, what do I have to do logically to get there? So her way of climbing might be different than somebody who's 35 and fit and climbs all the time, but she is so determined to do what it is and that she wants to do it and to get to the place she wants to get to that she does. And it's a remarkable story. Debra (20:19): I love what you just said because I'm reflecting on, I rock climb also badly, but super fun. But I climb with a lot of folks who are in their twenties and thirties, and so you're there and they're like, oh my God, I got to make this 5.11, whatever it is. And I realized I have a completely different metric of what success looks like. It's getting up there, it's sort of sitting with my fear. It is so much more robust and more interesting than just clicking a box. I love doing things now more than ever because I don't care about what I was supposed to measure myself against. It's a crazy feeling. Melissa (21:04): And that comes with age and experience, and that you realize that each one of us on the planet are completely different. So to put ourselves in a box where we say, in order to be considered a successful climber, you must be able to do this in so many hours or whatever. It's ridiculous. It's everybody's going to do it at their own pace and with their own little whatever it is that they need to help them get to that point. And that's the success. Getting to that point. Doesn't matter how long it takes or what you used to get there, like Deirdre talks about Mars and you know what Mars are and laddering yourself up that mountain. A young climber might say, well, that's not climbing. Well, I would argue she got to the top of El Capitan. I stood at that bottom, looking up at that monolith. It's amazing. And she got to the top and she got there in 13 hours. And I still, to this day, when I look at her and I look at how she climbs in her body, I don't know how she did that. It's an amazing feat to me. But she did it. And it doesn't matter if it was 13 hours or 50 hours or whatever, she got to the top. That's the success point. Debra (22:35): Amen. And you're like Jimmy Chin here of Free Solo because you were there too, except you're behind the camera. So tell us a little bit about that adventure. Melissa (22:45): Yeah, that was now, we were not there when she climbed, so we filmed her later after the climb was completed, but she has continued to climb throughout the world. And I spent five days with her in Yosemite and watching her climb, and I had a videographer with me that was a climber. So the climber, I didn't go up on the rocks with the camera. I had a climber videographer do that, and I was down at the bottom and doing all of the interviews and whatnot with her when she was on the ground or not too far up on the rock. And it was an amazing experience to have to be able to, I had to walk, I think it's a good mile into the bottom of El Capitan where you would begin to climb. And I remember the young climbers and the videographer saying to me, oh, no, no, no, it's just over there. Melissa (23:47): It's not going to be anything. It's no big deal. We'll meet you over there. So we start walking and we're walking, and then it starts, you're climbing, you're going up, and I'm like, are we going to go up there? What's going on? And so I was tripping and climbing over boulders that were as big as my house to try to get up to this point where the climbers start to climb. And I remember being out of breath, and I remember stopping to sit on rocks to catch my breath and thinking, oh my gosh, this is incredible. You have to build a complete sweat before you even get to the point where you start to climb. So I was completely impressed that she was able to make that mild trek and then start climbing so that I could watch her. And it was just an amazing, amazing experience to be in the beauty of Yosemite, which I have before, but I had never seen it in this light. I had never been there with climbers or gotten the history of Al Capitan and really felt connected to the climbing community there. It was just a beautiful experience. Debra (25:04): Oh my God, I can't wait to see this. Your own journey, though. It's hard enough to be a filmmaker, a documentary filmmaker, and to be a woman filmmaker. Tell us a little bit about what has surprised you along this journey? Melissa (25:21): What surprised me along the journey? Well, I don't know if it was a surprise. I kind of anticipated that being an older woman in this field trying to launch a first film or a second film, was not going to be well received. Not with people with balloons and megaphones saying, yay, go, this is awesome. I knew that was going to be a bit of a struggle, and it proved to be true. And when you get to the distribution stage and you're trying to find people who will talk to you, an unknown older woman about a film, about older women, there is not a huge audience that's ready to greet you. So it is a struggle to not feel bad about that, just accept it as the way it is, and try to figure out the back doors into companies and introductions to people that you need to make. And it's harder, I think it's harder to make those connections. And there aren't that many distributors that are run by older women. So you're constantly up against contacting distributors that have very young men who seem to be at the helm. And when you tell them what your film is about, it's kind of like, oh, okay, well, we'll take a look at it and let you know. So it took a long time to get a distributor… Debra (26:57): …but you did… Melissa (26:58): But I did, and not, am I thrilled with how the distribution has gone or what the distribution strategy is? No, but it was a real eyeopener as to what independent filmmakers have to go through in order to market their film. Because most of the distributors today for independent film put you on streaming platforms. And I am very grateful that I have a distributor that did that for me, and I'm on most all of the platforms, and the film gets seen, but they don't market it for you. So they charge a lot, but they don't market it. So you're stuck with continuing to find ways to get your film out in front of audiences that you think might enjoy it or be inspired by it. So it's a continual, the film's been done for three years, but I still continue to market it and speak in front of women's groups and whoever it is that wants to see the film can also have me there as a q and a after the film is seen. So I do a lot of that as well. And I will continue to do that with climbing into life. With the second film, I won't go the same route. The first route of going with an agent and a distributor was a learning experience for me because I had never done it before. This time around, I'm producing on my own, directing on my own, and hopefully figuring out how to find a distribution channel on my own so that I can keep a little bit more of the money that I threw into this wonderful project. Debra (28:46): How has these two projects changed your perspective on women and aging? Melissa (28:54): I've had the fortunate opportunity to work around a lot of older, very successful, active women. So I've known all along that women are capable and even more capable as long as they have their health more capable as they age. Meaning that their experience bucket is so full that no matter what challenge you put in front of them, they're able to call on something from the past that they experienced that helps them resolve whatever it is in front of them today. Very different from the time when I was 35, and my experience bucket was much smaller then. So I would not have the confidence level I think that I have today in my mid-seventies that I would've had, that I had in my 35 to 40 range. And I am able, and all of the women that I speak to are able to do tremendous new things in their lives. Melissa (30:01): They're not just doing what they were trained to do or what they have done for the last 30 years. They're doing new things and they're doing them in a big way. So I think what I have learned is that there is no age limit, and we should be promoting that as much as possible. And that's what I'm hoping that the films do that when maybe an older woman is sitting in front of the films thinking, I'm done. I retired from my job that I had for 40 years, and I guess that's it. I'll volunteer or do something. But maybe by watching these films, some of the women will inspire them to say, well, gee, I never thought about that. I never thought about that dream that I had as being a real possibility. And that's hoping to encourage women to at least have those conversations, not just with themselves, but with other people to help them see that there is a path to making change or making something new and trying something new. Debra (31:13): And I think we have a lot of guys who tune intoTthe Dareful Project as well. So this isn't a woman only conversation. This is for all of us… Melissa (31:22): Right? All of the men that I know that are over the age of 60, the message is the same to you. And I know many who have watched my film and were inspired by it. And I know many older men who are doing really cool things in their sixties, seventies, eighties, they're not stopping. I just wanted to really get women's voices out there, not to exclude the men, but because I think the invisibility of women is honestly much greater than it is for older men. So that was my purpose for really just the spotlighting of older women. Debra (32:01): And what you're talking about really resonates with me because you see, or you don't see women doing amazing things because they're just quietly being badass. They just go and they do their things. And so you may see them in the wild and not think, oh my God, look at you and what you're doing right now. They don't kind of care if you notice them or not because they're out having their adventure. Melissa (32:24): Exactly. I mean, there really is an invisibility factor. I mean, it definitely is there. Women become a bit invisible from the male gaze specifically as they age. And because of that, nobody sees what it is that they're doing. And because we are women and we're brought up for the most part, thinking that we should be quiet, polite, nice, not brag, not say what great things we're doing, it does go unnoticed. And if you stop seriously walking down the street, if you walk past me or another older woman, you're not going to know what their story is. And you're not going to turn your head and turn back and look and say, gee, I wonder what their story is. Now, if they were 30, maybe you would turn your head and say, wow, she looks really interesting. Wonder what her story is. Well, I'll tell you, the richer story is with the older woman, and we have to start listening to some of those stories to help us understand who we are, the choices we make, and what our possibilities are for the future. Debra (33:38): And what if those possibilities includes being an artist? What advice would you give for someone who has that hunger? Melissa (33:48): For me, it was making a list. Whatever your magic age is where you start to go, oh, do I really want to do this anymore? Or gee, I need to make a change. Gee, it's near retirement time. Am I going to just sit down and relax and play golf? Or what am I going to do? I encourage people to make a list of all of the fantasies that they've had in their life. I want to be a horse trainer. Or for me it was, I want to play the saxophone. I want to be a filmmaker. I had all these crazy ideas of things that I could see myself doing, but that I had no training in. Saxophone went down to the bottom when I realized, well, I don't read music, so I would have to learn how to do that first. And I think that's going to take a while. Melissa (34:40): So I think I'll put that down here, and maybe I'll do that in my eighties, I don't know. But if filmmaking just kept coming to the top, write a book, play the sax, make a film, and the filmmaking kept coming up. So whatever comes to the top of your list, don't ignore it, don't write it off. Start talking to people about it. Talk to a coach, talk to a counselor, talk to friends, talk to colleagues and say, I've always wanted to do this. What do you think? And you'll be surprised at how many people say, well, I've known you for 20 years. You can do that. You could easily do that. You have the tools in your kit to figure out how to do that, and I know somebody I can put you in touch with that. You can talk with a little bit more about this thing that you're interested in to just keep you on track. And I really encourage people, make the list. Find the thing that you're really interested in, and what harm is it to sit down and talk to people about it and see if you can take that first baby step to get to understanding whether it's a realistic idea or not. And if you do come to the point where it's unrealistic, go to the next thing on your list. But talking with people is probably the most helpful thing in anything in life when you're trying to make a decision about something. Debra (36:11): And having the courage to ask, because that is kind of the other superpower I notice of men and women our age, which is we know people and we know things, and we don't have to elbow everybody out of the way to get the next promotion. So it's all about making, oh my God, you totally have to know this person or make sure that you do this or Look, it's much more generous I find, at this age. Melissa (36:36): Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And for the most part, people our age don't feel intimidated with the ask. I don't care if somebody says, go away. I'm not going to take your call. Or, okay, I'll just go on to the next person. Where when I was younger, number one, I'd be afraid to make certain calls because I thought that they were going to say, go away. So sometimes I was frozen in time and unable to make that business call, whatever it may have been, or just crushed when they said no. Now when somebody says no, I'm like, okay, that's cool. And you kind of go on to the next person until you find somebody that is interested in your story and listening and maybe giving you some advice or handing you off to that next person that's going to help you. Definitely older people, men and women want to help one another move forward. It's a beautiful thing. Debra (37:36): What is going to be your next project? I know you're still in post-production on the current project, but are you already eyeing the next subject? Melissa (37:45): I'm going through this thing again where I'm making lists of do I want to continue making films or was there something else besides the saxophone on the list that I might want to try? And the reason that I'm kind of in angst about that is because I'm approaching 74 and it's kind of like, okay, if I'm going to do another big thing, another big change, how long will that take? And how long do I have? So I am feeling that pressure of how long will I be healthy and able to make big changes? So should I try to fit a whole bunch of things into that time or just stick with this? And my curiosity is big enough to say that I interested in writing a book, so I may do that, but I'm also interested in doing a short film. I've never done a short film. I've done two features. Maybe I could wedge in a little short film while I start this idea that I have for a book. Debra (38:51): So before we leave each other, what is the one thing that we all could do today, the tiniest little step that would move us in the direction of that top of the list idea that we have? Melissa (39:11): I think the one thing that we can do is sit down in quiet in meditation with ourselves and really ask ourselves, are we happy with where we are today? Is there anything we've left undone or unsaid? And do we want to try to figure out what that is? And I think the only way we come to those conclusions or ideas is by sitting still and by allowing ourselves to understand that no matter what we've done up until today, it isn't the end. And that there's always opportunity to do something new. And if there's some detours out there that we could take to help us find that, we need to start doing that today. And I think that that can lead you at least to the comfortable notion that you do have ideas and desires inside of you, and that fear is probably the biggest thing that's holding you back at this point. Melissa (40:17): As long as you have your health, I always put that in there. You have to be healthy enough to move to that next step. But to get rid of any fears that hold you back from trying something that you've never tried before, you have to address that. And you can't always address that by yourself. So reaching out to a coach or a counselor or a friend or someone that you can talk about as to why you might be stuck is very, very helpful and very important, and the first step in making the decision to try and do something different. Debra (40:55): I love that. Okay, Melissa, where can everybody find your films and you and keep track of you? Melissa (41:05): Okay. You can go to beyond sixty.com and you will figure out who I am on that website and get a feel for the film, and it will direct you as to where you can watch the film. The film is currently streaming on Apple tv, prime Video, Vimeo Voodoo, Google tv. It's on most of them. It's on transatlantic flights, so you can find the film there. You just type in beyond 60 SITY into the search bar on any of those streaming platforms, and you'll find it climbing into life. Like I said, will probably be submitting to film festivals in March. And at the same time, I'll be doing my research on how to get it distributed, and you can come to my website on Beyond 60, and there will be information in there as to when the film will be dropped. Debra (42:00): Wonderful. Melissa, thank you so much. Melissa (42:03): Thank you. I loved being here. It's great to meet you. I look forward to seeing Debra (42:07): You. Thanks for listening to The Dareful Project. Please follow, like and leave a review. It really helps. We're on all your favorite platforms, Spotify, apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, audible. Tune in Amazon Music, Stitcher, SoundCloud, and YouTube. And to connect, you can email me at debra@darefulone.com. That's Debra, D-E-B-R-A at Dareful one. That's with the number one.com. Thanks for listening.

23 Feb 2024 - 42 min
episode Get unstuck now: Becky Vollmer artwork

Get unstuck now: Becky Vollmer

We all face moments where we feel stuck. Becky Vollmer [https://www.youarenotstuck.com/] sees you. Vollmer is a speaker, journalist, yoga teacher and author of You Are Not Stuck: How Soul-Guided Choices Transform Fear into Freedom [https://www.youarenotstuck.com/book/]. We talk about how we get stuck—in our job, relationships, health-related choices—and what we can do right now to move forward. She reminds us that intention without action is just wishful thinking. How to find Becky: You Are Not Stuck [https://www.youarenotstuck.com/] website Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/YouAreNotStuck/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/youarenotstuck/] Threads [https://www.threads.net/@youarenotstuck] Transcript: Debra Hotaling (00:04 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/PSC--pOHdVLvgHbW7vnPaKBTJE6OZgPrK-IijHDSTRgv5lq5C7qfUulwLdu5FMZZBGIkVVUTF5StTcw_oFq8RFPfRhw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=4.17]): Hello and welcome to the Dareful Project, a podcast series where we explore with cultural disruptors, how to reimagine the second arc of our life. I'm your host, Debra Hotaling with a reminder: if you like this episode with please like, review and share with your Dareful tribe. Today's guest is Becky Vollmer. She's a speaker, writer, yoga teacher, and author of a wonderful new book called You Are Not Stuck, how Soul Guided Choices Transform Fear Into Freedom. Becky, welcome. Becky Vollmer (00:41 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/ICkkpaxZCUFcIltdm0w-GLonrZpq7wcReI4ohAjilI617Zv9h1hzb3xtETvaUsIOgyyx4YgLqg0QWG8hTOG1uIrvu6c?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=41.79]): Oh my dear. Thank you so much for having me. Debra (00:44 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/9Sgf7jj1QsIDC30J_f1PDkXw2ndrkNT6KABZDp3lrUoewBUkH-XTlwxbzBBSpZdZPIoPjBUyxr7d9Y4nauWWdjMJL9k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=44.88]): So we got a lot to cover. So ground us here. What was going on with you that prompted you to write this terrific book? Becky (00:54 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Bhgc5JEbij6HRdUsdQ5cSwjxP3D5xODRRLznHXiU--v-b4qNF14vCCXhhs4elsB-7HlUdOMB6zctAk0P4Z8uUDyNfSo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=54.84]): Oh, mercy, that I have to go back a little bit in history because the actual writing of the book was a, we'll call it a multi-year project, and I probably have to define multi as about seven. I think that was the time it took to live and feel and absorb and integrate everything that went into it until the actual writing part was months long. But the living that led up to it was years. I'll say the best way to describe it very succinctly was that in a period of about three years, there were some back to back to whammies. I left corporate America of my own volition after decades of dreaming and never doing. About a year later, I finally had a reckoning about my relationship with alcohol and decided it was time to give it up for good. And I'm proud to say that I, I'm now celebrating 10 years sober. Becky (02:13 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/jlpi5bRzxG8keRvHgUZsxfbdTxZglPpJbtMYQkMZhPSBei1Mc-JS8_PDuCL6izbuhbotKMHOchAr5EJvqrJgOndqnFk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=133.62]): And then the third thing that happened within that three year period was that my marriage of about 10 years absolutely imploded and disintegrated in a way that I did not see coming. And so it was one of those things that knock you flat and then take an awfully long time to kind of peel yourself back up off the ground and begin walking again. So the actual, the idea for the book and the beginnings of plotting and scheming and writing the book happened within the first six months of leaving the corporate world. And then as life intervened and life demanded to be lived, it got pushed a little farther away. But I will say, I think that not only is the book better for it, but I am better for it because I had more time to practice the tools that I knew had helped me and would help me again. And I think just the lived experience is richer and richer and richer because of it. Debra (03:25 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/nf6LKZLk3BMU4d8mf431mPiYHH-HfAwaTh2u51Q-NCJvbjD-xFs8lCq1tDRWewWfNeur463ImwbQod3EVyZ0xNZ_vTA?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=205.66]): Did you know the tools when you were writing the book or did writing the book present the tools? Becky (03:31 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/QTklhpb5fqS6KKeSypZE33tn530OvCEb9kAAm5OTv1ePfL1XXJBHoUtWEbgzVlB5s455xV_DJRA_Tj-HUODEGPY0JL8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=211]): Absolutely, yes, both. The answer is both. I will say that the premise, one of the underlying premises of the book is based on finding freedom in what I would call with a yoga mindset. And that is something that I had been at the time, I had been practicing yoga for, oh my gosh, by then almost 10 years, more than 10 years teaching for almost 10 years. And so those philosophies, those underlying credos were already sort of baked into my consciousness. Things like impermanence and non-attachment, but nothing is a better teacher than lived experience. And so I'd had the ability to apply that to one area of my life, the professional area of my life, but hadn't yet been able to apply it in ending a marriage that was a decade old. And I think even more the bigger teacher than that was the choice to eliminate alcohol from my life because that's something that had plagued my family for generations. I feel like I'm kind of the first generation cycle breaker in that regard in my family. And that one choice has opened up so many others that I never could have seen around the corner. And so to get back to your question, I would say some of the tools were there. Some of them I was in process learning, and some of them, oh my gosh, Deborah, some of them are still being revealed. Debra (05:32 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/dgw2t7oHHrjjo1k3FwliiO5ythjHBkoWGynDrg6Yb6h-dRsPThpg8WCWpdgpo_Kkbek3ASkLnvwmW1_vqHQP6YPI04c?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=332.765]): It's easy to talk about it and it sounds linear and you have these building blocks and not you, but we have these building blocks and we are just like, okay, I'm just going to turn this one on and that one on and I'm going to be better. But it's way messier than that. For whatever reason we're stuck, whether it's professionally in our personal life, an addiction, spiritual growth. Talk to us a little bit about how you get out of the messiness and figure it out. Becky (06:07 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/y0NihdSasHJItcacmUfXcsXOjOwh_pUhWgIHK8KdcnuDKSn6pAbFY8lc5TZ2B7d_uRN5uZ4QtpexenRy0tVWZ3v9Ns0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=367.88]): Oh boy. I could talk on that question alone for six days and fact, I just came off of leading a four day yoga based retreat. And really that's what we talk about. How do we recognize where we're stuck? How do we recognize how that makes us feel and what it makes us do? How do we, it's always very easy to recognize what's not working, but what is involved in taking stock of what we want instead. It's not as simple as, oh, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut, or if I could give it all up, I would be, I'd shave my head and become a monk in Nepal. Yes, NASA is an option, Nepal is an option, but for most of us more realistically, the question is how do we better become rooted in our emotional states and rooted in our values? And I guess a simpler way of saying that is how can we learn to answer the questions? How do I feel and what do I need? And then actually have the courage to bring those answers into reality. And I tell people a lot, people say, oh, I just have to be braver. I am so filled with fear. I just have to learn to be braver. And my perspective on that is it's just a little bit different. It's that the opposite of fear isn't just courage. The opposite of fear is choice. Becky (08:00 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/MpFKVxMVohmi1f1VuC1QH6jss790j4oJmTdbXTOOED_l3sBFzbg88ASpjI_693BG3M1WaFrvLmIXJMPMjZekRB8sTK0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=480.8]): And so from that place, being able to recognize we do all have choices to make, we do all have choices to contemplate that present themselves. Where we have to get brave is in finding the courage to actually make them. Debra (08:24 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/M5IMgx7mrnr5Mblpo7PitJk76gU0ucn-iCm7kPCoDIQCFSLbS8bJCVr_zMNr0_sn8gthYIbnFvlxHh8lf_NAH3xn73Q?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=504.44]): Tell me more about that, because choice is fascinating to me. I once heard a TED talk about making difficult choices, and part of it is making the choice. And then the second part is just going, except having agency that you go, I made the choice, now I'm owning whatever this is. I don't know if it's bad or good yet, I'm just going to own it. What do you see folks, or what have you gone through? What have you seen folks that you've been coaching go through when they are going from I need to be brave to, I'm going to make a choice. Becky (08:56 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/yYFkCUcYcSWB01AH3t2n7B1ChLXA9TnhKxHLCkRLUwMKcbSIHOLg0bgycxqiRySKUOn-DhZ-7zYbONGJMfyLAHPo8-0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=536.67]): To me, if taking the front end of your question, I think a lot of people are missing the agency piece. They're missing the permission piece, they're missing empowerment. So several years ago when I first left the PR world and people congratulated me, oh, you are so brave. You decided you left. You didn't have a net plan B, oh God, I wish I could do what you did. And I remember thinking, oh girl, I was not brave. I didn't feel brave at all. I felt, in fact, I felt a little bit like a failure. I felt like, oh, I didn't have the grit within me to have what it takes in a very stressful, chaotic world, which of course was, I mean, that's a mindset issue, right? Yes. There was part of me that took issue with the fact that the world was misted, right? Nobody's really able to function well and sustainably in that kind of an environment over time. Becky (10:08 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/v0e9-LTgeYatDsZoVEcuONLhjgotWaaYza801hQqFB57PRu41tTYIxNX-6IsuEhV_i2Nr6y6QNY797naYxuPpwkJhPk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=608.97]): But the issue was that I took it personally and I thought it was a personal deficiency, and so therefore I felt like I didn't have choices. I felt like I was just backed up against the wall and there was really no good way out. But once that really settled with me for a while, and I did begin to understand there was a lot of bravery that went into that choice because it was kind of, there's a little bit of thumbing my nose at status quo, why would you leave something that looks so good on paper? Becky (10:51 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/7xC1kJdGri3rYlDTtgVcbAz-FC3NBM0e7oIHBwGqe1KBErt2es2EKMshGQkuDzzwZSO80ebFGZmG474e0Hz3jcIH4ZY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=651.27]): So that got me really curious, big picture, why we collectively tend to stay put in situations where we are miserable and we could ostensibly make another choice. And so I put some research out into the field, and of course, this isn't the kind of statistically valid peer reviewed appearing in a journal kind of research, but several hundred people over time, more than a thousand people have taken this survey. And some of the questions I was getting to revealed what I now call the empowerment gap. So just to put some numbers around that, about six out of 10 people felt like they were ready to make a change, but then the number of people who said they felt empowered to change, oh, Deborah, it broke my heart. It was about 14% of people. So you've got 60%, something's got to change. And then 14% saying, I feel empowered to do this. And so it's within that space where if we can close that gap, it becomes much more easy for us to claim the agency that is ours and make the choices that we need in order to have the lives we want. But it's in that sense of I don't feel like I have the permission to do what I want. I don't feel like I've got the agency to choose for myself. And that to me, that's where the big tension is. Debra (12:33 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/hEJRuMtouJHlG_U3bYIQgCtf-m17khpC5oJbW9KCaeFAz-lVFs4wmf3UMCE3CdRvBrVaXTKoV_s1O9kjTVzIf0hqfwM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=753.13]): I wonder though that we'll never feel empowered until we actually do this thing. We're scared to death. And then looking back, we go, oh, I was empowered to do that. Not sure I would ever feel ready. I kind of do the thing. And then looking back, I'm like, oh, I did actually do that thing. Becky (12:54 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/2iINBrsXoSk_Ovgfb9KrWOcTvXWOuFiX1FxGdv4D8_LsDgXa8M6nySoM0mUkrZLhcVgGclUw6ljDUeMLXfajtMS4eTc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=774.97]): Yeah, I think there's a lot of empowerment in momentum. There's a lot of empowerment in having proven to yourself that you can, what I find is a necessary precursor to that is always coming back to our why. And that's the piece that I believe a lot of us tend to skip over. We think it's an issue of just taking action for action's sake as opposed to taking the most aligned action we can. And notice I say aligned and not strategic. Nobody would have told me it's a strategic choice for you to walk away from a partner track job a month before they're about to announce the next round of partners. That was maybe not the most strategic choice I'd ever made, but it was the most aligned choice I could have made. And the reason I was able to do it, in addition to feeling backed up against the wall was because I sat with my values long enough to recognize that they had evolved while I wasn't paying attention. Becky (14:13 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/fhiOwjd9dXuSi5pEXShZ46TE1cYoYHsPt84dhlbSco-Mo7YOn4z7-6N6c8GHkJxwL2acQfK_9-x6sq9bsPPZI8EABoQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=853.66]): I write about this in the book, and I cannot tell you how important, I mean, this is such a light bulb moment when I talk about this in workshops and retreats, the idea that values really shift when we're not paying attention. And then all of a sudden we reach a point in our lives and we're like, wow, I've been living by one set of rules that I didn't write when really if I was writing my own set of rules, I'd be doing things much differently. And the way we can see how it's easy to get there is just to look back in time, you are a baby. You are born into your family of origin, the circumstances in which you grow up, and either in a spoken way or in an unspoken way, just by observing people, it becomes pretty clear, this is how we do things around here. Becky (15:11 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/0DnYatKxPHzbqsVTJPf_o8TWm9jTfqG6HIEUKWhD9oo9yp9UscgGfAbvHwprO35rXcuzkak6dAK-Ac21vqjGr6nw8j8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=911.42]): This is what's important to us. And then you get a little older and you go off to school. Maybe you go to a religious school. Maybe you go to a private boarding school in Switzerland. Maybe you're shipped off to military school. Maybe you're at the public school around the corner, no matter where the environment is, again, you sort of begin to observe and you get to absorb, this is how we do things around here. And you can play that forward in all these other scenarios. You go to work and again, said or unsaid, that company has a set of values. Maybe later you partner up with somebody. That person has a set of values that date back all the way to their family of origin, their faith community, their activities, their school, their professional experience. And when you partner up, some of us will have an honest conversation about, okay, how do we meld our values? How do we make sure that nobody's gets lost in the shuffle? But I think what happens so much more often, especially for women, is that we will find ourselves in our forties, fifties, sixties, and it's like we get hit upside the head with this frying pan of realization that is, oh my gosh, I've been living by everybody else's values than my own. Debra (16:55 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/O6U01qinA8Il3nQAs6henIqXAhzYv8aqU1ObWvJH2lyxHZHKz6NDSmvqS8Xd2ACr04zsVPTmpykG2Wl8-wPcKlXmews?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1015.28]): I wrote down the evolving while not paying attention. The not paying attention feels. That is really an important point. So you talk with a lot of folks in your retreats through your book. What are some of the tools that you find are most helpful as folks are just coming to that, the frying pans just hit upside the head? What happened? What's next? Becky (17:29 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/C3crq0z8JPRFYkRvwMR7bpz_EhixM5wNBoab4awkjFwmUjAwgbzOcmwGLmXFJ9zHpSqL9XtK-BPJTsKPwLK63h07CX0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1049.3]): What's next is that we tend to get really honest about the fears that have been holding people back, whether consciously or subconsciously by fears. It's not like, oh, I'm afraid of spiders, so I can't make any big choices. But when we can identify this whole universe of fears that are really common to a lot of us, I have fear of failure. I have fear of being judged harshly. I have fear of being criticized. I have fear of being under-resourced, whether financially, emotionally, in the daily necessary work of my life, I have a fear that I'm going to be ostracized. I have a fear that somebody's going to call me crazy. I have a fear that I might sacrifice the wrong thing at the wrong time. I have a fear that I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I have a fear that I dunno how to do it. Or the one that I think underpins a lot of us is if I make the wrong choice, I will somehow end up alone. Becky (18:54 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/PWozFPWVq830fPH4LqfaA0rFUDXcuAlb_UqU7d1n8YdOczfLb0bhne9z2GJGS_DvfPvw2IGKXHHqrGRN4qeSYBtHBMI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1134.03]): I will somehow understand this lifelong narrative in my mind that I'm not worthy of choosing for myself. And that's not something, that's not something that usually emerges to the top of consciousness, right? That a sense of unworthiness. But when we start to examine and poke holes at things and reveal what's a little deeper, it's almost like picking up a rock. And you look at what's under there and it's all these nasty creepy crawleys. Our first instinct is just to slam that rock back down. Meet my friend Sadie Jane. Hey, Sadie. I think Sadie's announcing the presence of the Amazon ferry. So we want to slam that rock down, but really, if we can sit with the creepy crawlies, the thing that we least want to look at, we will and view it with some compassion. We begin to understand that there are some deep reasons why we are afraid of change and that they are universal. Becky (20:13 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/SwhcQtKqa9ZNkMQnP7QYYTKNBMY153mpKYhYkx5kUSkMfIj8iQUo_sZYB8wa4Ew1RywLFXOfMD9p62FYcBuKHHiLugw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1213.6199999]): It's so powerful to sit in a room full of people where we bring these issues up and you just see the heads nodding and the hands kind of going up and just all of these ways that we reinforce. Yeah, me too. I'm scared too. But then after we sort of marinate in the fears for a while, to me the only, oh, I shouldn't say the only. To me a very powerful antidote to being mired in our fears is to recognize that, and this is where the yoga philosophy comes in, but that we are more than this meat suit packaging that we're wearing, right? I come back to this epic quote, and I wish I could tell you it was from Rumi or Heis or someone. It's not best as I can tell. It was from a dude on Twitter who went by the handle pork beard. But pork beards, very wise words were you're a meat coated skeleton made of stardust. What do you have to be scared of? Becky (21:28 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/0YjM-j7h8vRl1tur0mJA9FLmJmGZHRS0hAszWdvgG3FDqp5ycw9dLAQ63LUZFCv0cvp_nbmEqysPY7-K09rX-D7KuMQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1288.3]): And that really is, I mean, that is yoga philosophy translated for the modern age. You are a meat coated skeleton made of stardust. What do you have to be scared of? And so when I find that when people realize, wait, you're telling me I'm stardust. You're telling me I'm stardust and by stardust, for me, that really is shorthand for whatever you want to call that big energy out there, around there, up there, wherever it may live for you. But that's shorthand for I'm the universe. I am infinite, I am God. And so in the retreats that I do, I love it when people absorb the idea of stardust as new language that they can take with them back into their lives. And I get messages from people all the time with this, just the new found empowerment that comes from this new found confidence that they are stardust. And boy, don't you look at your choices a little bit differently when you think you are made with the stuff of God or the universe instead of those creepy crawly fears that you don't want to look at. Speaker 3 (23:05 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/i4yrC59MxBgWGAzSL-LCqVcueO1ZO70Ew9g0jFj2AZQSeMKOCalPH9-kdLLeAihFcBBST0UVJ8GUFmaaMApuiMLOjbw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1385.59]): Yes, yes. Becky (23:09 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/6bTIcD2m7oUEdfCYMyqp1XbBMG-kh3D5C7cc3331wLDaK3TV1NuOBC-aZmiqogo1-bpMBl2t9evdne6XoJU5cIavtUY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1389.3699999]): It restructures the whole conversation. It makes the choices so much different. I'll give you, this is going to be a very silly example of what impermanence looks like in our day and age, but it's illustrative. As you look at me, you'll notice I have a number of tattoos that I didn't have 10 years ago, even though I had always wanted to have lots of tattoos. But the society that I was in said, that's not cool. Debra (23:44 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/H35Fi3zDgIYmJwZQMSo3QnoRJqzxXo3W3n2BVZ_oFGzz4W6ef9Efn6SzrAOlEcVtGtAon535rXgWCbr1TTU_HBQyvD8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1424.835]): You're not going to show at a client meeting with tattoos all over you… Becky (23:47 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/wS-rHUKg3oMuackbeGNpTxZf9QEGeGLF8P5Ktq50lLotTJUh9aBNdX5wmzQ4PU9IJ3n8-U55ZdAygRaBfEjWdA4yy_4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1427.69]): That's right. And even more than that, that I was afraid of what my mother would say. And so here I was, I 40 years old. I was a mother, I was a matriarch in my own hope. I counseled c-suite executives, and I was afraid of what my mother would say if I got a tattoo. And so for me to sit down in that chair and let an artist put some ink to adorn my vessel, to me, that was at the time, it felt like the ultimate rebellion because it was my nod to, it's all impermanent this, and by this I'm reflecting on my body. This all ends, right? This is going to end soon. Why not adorn it while I'm here? And so if you were to extrapolate the lesson from that and bump it up and bump it up to have a little bit bigger meaning, if I recognize that I made a stardust and this human experience that I'm having is a real reflection of our impermanence, it takes the pressure off and allows us to be a little more bold. Yes, we still have to pay taxes. Yes, we still have to pay the rent, right? It'd be great if we can put aside some money for retirement, but why not reframe the environment in which we're making choices? Debra (25:20 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/NxEidvAPyTdCS3-o5jagHVMx5zd-CQyXSmETijjtx6MyZxbY9EEF_hrtlAJqG5igYhBtmyVhx-fL0BIuKuPp_Mg0jjA?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1520.33]): What happens to people when you work through that again, when you just got back from coaching some folks earlier this week? Becky (25:30 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/M0BnkxKwiFctU7qmvulTvuSt421TC0e4tvQs-wGlbydDpI6Hmk8tMNCqX1X6wYLpRSqm8L5mk8uqMQCvv_7eGxq-sos?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1530.05]): Yeah. Debra (25:31 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/JRVFh-KDdZJLvSxvzzrWGly-H-C9uQ_hxYhAaabdMqpsPS5QzWfC6BtBcwYWRQRFA9-8g4kP2rPfhYjXBAfAgrwi_i4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1531.4]): What happens? Becky (25:38 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/BC4P0kZ5IrWGry9HpaBFE_ZJUxdU2akMWZLNHp4D4Ukzpo_NM0I_66Ru0XOC2MgKnutdIRMxP3mqFW0tdsq8lLriOn8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1538.21]): Well, I'm smiling because I know in my email inbox right now, there's a group email and everybody I've just kind of been observing from the background is everybody is sharing their experiences. So we've now been three days since we were last together. And they're talking about the shift that they've had in their mindset, the courageous conversations they've gone home and had with their spouses, with their employers, with people in their lives with whom they have problematic relationships with substances in their lives and habits in their lives that have been holding them back. And it is so heartening to observe. People come to this place of, I am stardust. I have choices just because something hasn't, maybe it's worked up to now or up until a couple years, but if I recognize that I have not just the permission to make a different choice, but man, I have a mandate. I've got a mandate to make a different choice. Becky (27:02 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/SWlObn4Hkg5A85unZOWHRK5FaizqdYVu8Vfm9PGrNev3CoMCruB3ssebJzOUjE-RlgnGy-IOvA-zZ3OsE3zavw7GjFo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1622.145]): It is incredible to watch this speed with which those choices get put into action. Because what I ask people to do is we're not going to Thelma and Louise this into existence. That's not always the healthiest way. Sometimes it's a necessity, but more often than not, I ask people to begin to think in their immediate choices, what they might do near term, what they might do a little bit longer term. And the question is not what do I want to do? The question that I've asked people to sit with is how do I want to feel? How do I want to feel when my head hits the pillow at night? How do I want to feel when I wake up in the morning? And if those things become the answer to that kind of becomes the why. What needs to change? That usually reveals itself pretty quickly. I want to feel a certain way based on my values that have evolved based on the person I am now based also on the idea that I am stardust. And so what needs to change? It kind of starts flashing. It's a little bit of a neon sign where people really get tripped up is the, okay, how am I going to do that? We spend a lot of time talking about three important things, trade-offs, consequences and boundaries. Becky (28:45 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/mjkVNL_w8Cio0diUEFy79bu5IQ-bkA0VUfLbgtrr7lhWZGoqhkAMiFMPG9nP_WonQ2yx5RGaYLR39706oAPKKIaxy9U?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1725.57]): We can't just say, okay, I'm going to go do X, y, z. Well, here we do have to be strategic in thinking about, okay, well, I do this. If I step in this direction, that's likely going to have an impact over here. And then the question becomes, am I willing to live with that or not? And so it becomes, when we look at trade-offs, consequences, boundaries, it becomes that living, breathing exercise, trying to answer, what am I really willing to do to have this life that I've identified that I want? But it's also important to ask, what am I willing to not do? What am I willing to forego? What am I willing to defer? What am I willing to release? And so once we get the answers to those questions and folks have an understanding of, okay, here's why I want to feel differently. Here's how I want to feel. Here's what needs to change. And then I ask them just to identify what is, what's the one first thing you're going to do about it? And it's not usually I'm going to go home and blow shit up. It's not that. It is. I recognize that I need to do some work with my inner experience and my perceptions of my experience so that I can more comfortably go out and make the changes I want to make. I've got to remove some of these blocks and some of these obstacles. And they recognize it's not about the blowing up of the shit. It's about doing more inner work to open the path. Debra (30:31 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/SumhjYRGA8FQRKlWFpLZmh2QM_UPUVd6GqOcfcUeUHgsfzQ4YMn5VxZrGYI7px6sAagAjdt4VIvO9gTuKigVYMykkP8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1831.69]): And what's funny about it is that you feel the work and you feel completely different inside. Like, oh, if I don't come to this conversation with this preconceived notion of how it's going to go, it changes the way that that person reacts to me. And yet, on the outside, you look like exactly the same person that you were five seconds ago before you started behaving that way. Becky (30:54 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Q3A2Lc7dpIcLqF0LepDRJKjJUSl9RNCWoxoVcipT_EahzvancUF5WFX6KMdjjNgnUsKjw0JcEmKVZ_gzyCUmwgWxDc4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1854.465]): But the light in your eyes is different. Debra (30:56 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/zefIjlo_6swzt51kmBrRUnbh7g9mgYU_1TSwbegnrt-9-6s2aBt_xeQvfwoIbLchmvTxhCmy9hygRSV_E_ZRYCcht-Q?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1856.56]): Yeah. Becky (30:57 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/0iUdYJHV_ODcHFYPh7rE55uGaj85vLBvTeJWzEHZ91RyFSnTRmBRsC63IdqZuInUspLjdh7Jqpo4Zpt1DzaWqYLEqc8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1857.88]): Yeah. The peace in your heart is different. Meat suit might look exactly the same, but you can see that the stardust just dial up the brightness. Debra (31:09 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/l53ozV4td207PEReT5TK6dGhXv0FDnfJ-g48-xmY3iCaF_yASgifLG4t6-jTVGP-agjHIFklycIdMBLT22swVr82JA0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1869.58]): I want to follow up though. You talked about trade-offs, consequences, and then boundaries. I get trade-offs in consequences. Tell me more about boundaries. Becky (31:19 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/Lvfwzgei3coB6vravgLnkCKsUzFRC_SMZf7uqagK4knduTTbjKqHKDuh-RNxc7VocfDi3jMDS7Ousbq5GAA5MtZrRsI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1879.93]): Well, let's just take an example and sort of play it through. I want to focus on myself, and let's just say a person wants to go get some help releasing some long held trauma that's going to require some work that's going to require some time, some energy, some attention. And so where the boundaries may come into play is in what does that person need? What kind of framework and structure do they need to establish in order to prioritize this thing that they want to heal within themselves? And so that may mean, honey, I'm sorry. I am not going to be able to take you to soccer practice on Tuesday night because I have a therapy appointment. Can you please arrange for a friend to take you? And then an hour before practice, mom, I forgot to ask my friend to take me. And now they're not answering their texts. Can you just take me to practice? Oh, babe, I'm sorry. I've told you 10 times. Tuesday night is my therapy night and I can't miss it at this point, which is a really hard thing for a mom to do, right? Yeah. Debra (33:01 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/s7eQcvyi5zhnLrqW4X36izXMZQJk4ENmfrLFrShYOso9f-OQwnGyU1bCfrp6nJS00ORJ44TsDdHdNKrk_ZLQ5_naGuc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1981.1]): My heart is seizing up right now just as you're saying that. Yes. Becky (33:05 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/DSXC_RyZvl0TulOdHqLXGI-dWulZV7qssXkOa5MQbikDZiD1Ora_59OSHKkHQmQDnYaAJOSPTMCbXWaQUReSmjXuGC8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1985.09]): Right, right. And that's just one example of creating a boundary. It's not a brick wall that somebody can't, that somebody can't knock through. But it is this gentle but powerful. One of my mentors, a woman named Heather Plett, she talks of boundaries as like this membrane that stands between you and a thing that threatens to undo you. Right now, the membrane, again, it's not a brick wall, but it's also not so porous that it's ineffective. It's still a gentle, it's got some fluidity to it. You're not going to bounce. You're not going to just completely crash and crumble into ash when you run into it, you might bounce off. But so ways to protect your own energy, your own sense of how you have planned to spend the currency of your life, right? Your energy, your attention, your time, your money, and to be able to place some gentle boundaries around those that you can be spending that currency. You can be prioritizing your activities in a way that supports your values. Debra (34:37 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/0kj1Z0rFEgWSt7Pd0mN6EracpPGvEFwSXUXXtLkW-BIKyVBmIWjr5KgENt6g7AMbloEDorzcSwdhDJ7af8xwpfWMb48?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2077.9699999]): Becky, what do you do when you lapse on attention or you get unfocused? How do you get yourself back on the path? Becky (34:51 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/ud33mwa9Yd-Yy_xEwWI2MSTdsBan-WNHCdKE9WAaVNOswTDouTWVCutVr2o7Ff4I0z75b7NwNtm1rcxKQsXOJM8Gqdw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2091.44]): The shortest answer to that is that I come back to my breath because that moment of recognition, I am out of alignment. There sometimes needs to be a pretty significant step back onto the path. But we don't even get to that. If we can't first come to our breath, remember our why. Remember our stardust calm, the nervous system. We can't make those confident, purposeful strides back on track until we feel it in the deeper place within us. So Debra (35:45 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/MlLDvv2vaXXzc-OFZD8-962F-MZZ-_Bs8Ygs-u9XgDqscBnkGxdT4LRuEXzKzw8Uh91UgynThmni7zoNQE5yLFVyW-E?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2145.57]): We've covered a lot today. Tell us the one thing. It could be micro, it could be start us size. What is the one thing we could do today to begin? Becky (36:01 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/6ihOYhfSeG5CXQIvMFuCm_4I0fWZ3s7Lw6JGpE8VjmyGni3WNVpA37uN_zYgjEtBUtir0Vg4wzUpnlDmuiXk9tq3K8o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2161.505]): I think it's to pay attention. I think in many ways it's learning to pay attention to your nervous system. In yoga, the progression from being standing here in our meat suit all the way to finding bliss with the divine, the work that happens in between there is we learn to control our body so that we can control the breath, and we learn to control the breath so that we can control the mind. And so if we start with body sensations, what is my nervous system feeling right now? What's my heart rate like? Is my head hurting? Becky (36:50 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/f7crR_WEXKXqXlZnu7idsCReN8wnOoRIRTd9r15bDkRLFx2bX0xohCDcxlROK_dCTZr6f8H2gfY9vu_B4wHV-LDllmU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2210.985]): I, how's my digestion and elimination systems working? Do I feel short of breath? Am I sweating? Do I have a lump in my throat? And so to be able to translate that body awareness into a sense of what does that mean for my emotional state? How am I feeling? Am I feeling nervous? Am I feeling afraid? Am I feeling anger? Am I feeling resentment, hopelessness, confusion, you name it. All of those emotions have a corresponding body sensation that if we can learn to speak that language, we become so much more intelligent about ourselves and our experience. And so if we could learn to begin that process, and then from there, learn what we need to do to regulate the nervous system. So we start with the self-awareness, and then we move into this place of self-regulation because we can't make any smart, strategic, thoughtful choices when we are in a state of fight or flight or freeze or desperation or shutdown. We just can't. So we've got to, if we can begin with the body and learn how to just sort of bring everything to center. You see the way you took a breath when I said that, it's like your body inherently knows how to calm itself. Your body told you to take that breath and didn't it feel good? Debra (38:35 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/p4IAF86rQ04-sX2ca3bzgfxNHTTqRbK_cf3RxqPcRSSjc7aIxX7TBpUqEQ1lN2R36ZO380pjOTC4rpYX-zdFSBLcHEY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2315.26]): Great. Becky (38:36 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/S7foPadJ5bJuCKNuUhxotD42tehJVn0LkKOuqp8FBjHqMLAVZpWCfriwHi8Wm053wGNAeukmNNV9e0uExo2KhZ2WTV0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2316.76]): Yeah. We come back to the breath Debra (38:39 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/BG_401RtWjgYbcH96ywfGRNnnJJowghp9PRqy5kNY2VM6DppCvSRTLtonLWPv3uvbeCGiC-D5H04bZI147BKq0I9ib8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2319.43]): And paying attention. Well, Becky, this has been so lovely and I want to make sure everybody knows to buy your book. We'll make sure that there are links. They can find you on LinkedIn and where else can folks find you? Becky? Becky (38:57 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/6gas0kzu6GSwQCXF1bJZ9tGPx8YOPvLDNvsdPt7A3L9NgbIoOxvABIoP9mbQ6PvOGWasCcQY6HsUqO8XBLm3Jymq6H0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2337.01]): Everything is around the name. You are not stuck. So the website, you are not stuck.com. Facebook, Instagram threads. It's all the handle at you are not stuck. Debra (39:07 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/dXYskSrxo0RjxpaGAhBpmkyy_hxaHhKhilm1uHUEdeojElTGu1SC9gRagCrNrYvy8nj3wTMUBOxi0Ee43JSr_IVL-mU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2347.12]): Wonderful. Becky, thank you so much. Becky (39:11 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/tcCOrg3vSyxqOjUsMp0pu69gtMbiu3elZfCFb_MBdCmIC5r9VNCSfJLXNER_Z9RR7nvyGehpSGY2M1CnxskT-GESAA4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2351.05]): Thank you for having me. I appreciate it so much. Debra (39:15 [https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/2L_DvxI8lsd4oAwYV-wkNUzSk3IPXEghSpzj96JpfVuSw01v_FajgqYkky3gNK9VB61jPhirfJlSwbQ_2AzuuvjlFY4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2355.52]): Thanks for listening to the Dareful Project. Please follow, like and leave a review. It really helps. We're on all your favorite platforms, Spotify, apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, audible. Tune in Amazon Music, Stitcher, SoundCloud, and YouTube. And to connect, you can email me at debra@darefulone.com. That's Debra, D-E-B-R-A at Dareful one. That's what the number one.com. Thanks for listening.

26 Jan 2024 - 39 min
En fantastisk app med et enormt stort udvalg af spændende podcasts. Podimo formår virkelig at lave godt indhold, der takler de lidt mere svære emner. At der så også er lydbøger oveni til en billig pris, gør at det er blevet min favorit app.
En fantastisk app med et enormt stort udvalg af spændende podcasts. Podimo formår virkelig at lave godt indhold, der takler de lidt mere svære emner. At der så også er lydbøger oveni til en billig pris, gør at det er blevet min favorit app.
Rigtig god tjeneste med gode eksklusive podcasts og derudover et kæmpe udvalg af podcasts og lydbøger. Kan varmt anbefales, om ikke andet så udelukkende pga Dårligdommerne, Klovn podcast, Hakkedrengene og Han duo 😁 👍
Podimo er blevet uundværlig! Til lange bilture, hverdagen, rengøringen og i det hele taget, når man trænger til lidt adspredelse.

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