Women Who Don't Apologise

I Froze For Weeks Because I Took Advice That Wasn't Meant For Me

For the last few weeks, I haven't uploaded a new episode. Life happened. It was also half term. But that wasn't even the real reason. The real reason is that I started taking advice from people who meant well. But whose advice was not meant for me. And I know better, that's the wildest part. I know my values and rhythm. I know what I'm building. But sometimes in the name of growth or leveling up, we start listening to voices that don't understand our assignment. And slowly, slowly, we start moving away from ourselves, our goals, our intentions. And it feels responsible. It feels strategic. It feels mature at that moment when you're seeking that advice or taking it on. It feels like "I'm taking charge." But it's not aligned. And the misalignment stalls you faster than any failure could. I have not done much for weeks because of that. And I realized I was overcomplicating something that was very simple. This podcast works because it's raw, because it's immediate, and because it's mine. And the moment I tried to optimize it the way someone else would, or someone else told me I should, I froze. One step forward, two steps back. That's what I always tell you. Me too, girl. Me too. You're not the only one who's drifted. You're not the only one who's listened to wrong advice. You're not the only one who stepped out of alignment, even when you know better. That's the thing. We know better. So no, it's not just you. You're in good company. But the key isn't perfection. It's just recognizing what's happening and nipping it in the bud. Step 1: Notice it. Step 2: Identify the source. Step 3: Stop feeding it, cut it off right there at the source. Step 4: Implement the lessons. Step 5: Get back up on that horse and keep riding. There's no drama, no shame, no spiral. We are not about that. We're just course-correcting. That's it. We don't collapse because we misstepped. We just recalibrate, and then we ride again. I will ride with you, girl. I'm getting back on the horse too. So you are not alone. Do your 5 steps and get back up. This one's for you if: 1. You froze because you took advice that wasn't aligned with your values 2. You know better but still listened to voices that don't understand your assignment 3. You're tired of overcomplicating what should be simple 4. You need permission to course-correct without shame Misalignment stalls you faster than failure. Get back on the horse. This podcast is for women who are done performing. If you want more of this energy—the kind of conversation that reminds you who you actually are—visit wwdaglobal.com and step into the room. You'll get weekly insights, frameworks I don't share anywhere else, and a community of women who've stopped asking for permission. About Women Who Don't Apologise: Over 150 episodes exploring power, boundaries, capacity, and what it means to live on your own terms. Hosted by Patricia Haywood lawyer, The Queen of Construction Contracts, Top 100 Woman in Construction, GC, and chief unapologetic mistress. For women 40+ who are exhausted from following everyone else's blueprint.

We Bought Optics, Not Outcomes (And Funded Their Lifestyle Instead of Building Ours)

I've invested in coaching programs that probably did more harm than good. But also? I wasn't ready for those programs. Here's what happened: for such a long time, people bought from people they aspire to be like. And the aspiration we have in today's society is not necessarily moral. We aspire to be like people who appear to be wealthy and appear to have it all together online. That's it. So we buy the course because the person is carrying the expensive handbags, driving the fancy cars, jet-setting off to all ends of the earth. And we believe that by buying the course, we're going to live that lifestyle. But we didn't do the logical thinking. The critical thinking. To realize that actually, WE are the ones funding that lifestyle. Nothing in the course is going to teach us that. Because buying the course IS what is funding that lifestyle. For such a long time, we outsourced our critical thinking. We outsourced our power. We outsourced our decision-making to other people. This one's for you if: 1. You've bought coaching programs that promised transformations but delivered nothing. 2. You realize you funded someone else's lifestyle instead of building your own. 3. You're ready to stop outsourcing your critical thinking to viral content. 4. You're done throwing stones without looking in the mirror. Take accountability. Stop buying optics. This podcast is for women who are done performing. If you want more of this energy—the kind of conversation that reminds you who you actually are—visit wwdaglobal.com and step into the room. You'll get weekly insights, frameworks I don't share anywhere else, and a community of women who've stopped asking for permission. About Women Who Don't Apologise: Over 150 episodes exploring power, boundaries, capacity, and what it means to live on your own terms. Hosted by Patricia Haywood—lawyer, The Queen of Construction Contracts, Top 100 Woman in Construction, GC, and chief unapologetic mistress. For women 40+ who are exhausted from following everyone else's blueprint.

Why Does My Life Feel Heavier Than Everyone Else's? (Understanding Your Assignment)

For the longest time, I kept asking myself: why does my life feel heavier than other people's? Why can't I just coast? Everyone else seemed to be living this soft, easy life. And I was grinding, carrying, building. I started thinking something was wrong with me. Then my aunt told me: "Girl, everybody's caught up in their own lives. Nobody's realizing how hard your life is because they're focused on how hard their life is." That's when I realized, I'd been trying to live someone else's life. Operating under contracts I never signed. Comparing myself to people on completely different assignments. This one's for you if: 1. You've been asking "why does my life feel heavier than everyone else's?" 2. You're exhausted from comparing yourself to people on different assignments 3. You feel like you're performing the wrong role in your own life 4. You're done questioning yourself based on what society says women should be doing Your assignment is your assignment. Live YOUR terms. This podcast is for women who are done performing. If you want more of this energy—the kind of conversation that reminds you who you actually are—visit wwdaglobal.com and step into the room. You'll get weekly insights, frameworks I don't share anywhere else, and a community of women who've stopped asking for permission. About Women Who Don't Apologise: Over 150 episodes exploring power, boundaries, capacity, and what it means to live on your own terms. Hosted by Patricia Haywood—lawyer, The Queen of Construction Contracts, Top 100 Woman in Construction, GC, and chief unapologetic mistress. For women 40+ who are exhausted from following everyone else's blueprint.

It's Not a Boundary Problem It's a Negotiation Problem (And They're Winning)

I would say it's not just a boundary problem that you're experiencing, you have a negotiation problem. Sorry to tell you. But the fact is that you are still negotiating with people who have already shown you that they won't respect the terms. They won't respect your terms. And I've lived this. I've seen it so many times where a client disappears for three weeks and then appears expecting you to drop everything. And you drop everything for that client. I've seen you do it. So it all comes down to how you allow the client to negotiate and renegotiate those terms that you've already set. If you set a boundary, you've set a boundary. And that's it. Yeah? No reopening of the terms of that boundary. And what you're going to have to do is not just set boundaries, you're going to have to start enforcing them a little bit better. Because they are not confused about your boundaries. They're not. They're testing whether you will enforce them. And they're winning. They are winning. Because every time you have to explain and re-explain, every time you justify and rejustify, every time you make an exception for them "for this one last time" it's always one last time, you're teaching them that the boundary doesn't exist. Because if you're supposed to deliver certain scope under the contract and they are not giving you the information that you need, but at the same time they want to scope creep on you, you're going to have to have a discussion with them. You're definitely going to have to have a discussion with them. Outline to them your boundary again. And enforce it. Understand: you are absolutely going to have to enforce it. This isn't even just a boundary discussion anymore. The boundary is what happens when it's crossed. And once you understand that, you are going to stop explaining and convincing and stop negotiating with these people. Because they've already shown you who they are. And you're going to have to decide whether or not after this contract you're going to work with them again. Maybe they are a client for another person. I've had quite a few of those. Quite a few of those clients where I'm just like: client is different for a different person. Not for me. Not for me. Especially because I know how I am, I like to just create an environment where I don't have to deal with clients like that anymore. So that's it, girl. It's not just a boundary that you're going to have to enforce right now. You just have to shut down negotiations. There's no negotiation of anything that we've already agreed and signed and sealed. And that's that. This one's for you if: 1. You keep explaining and re-explaining your boundaries to the same people 2. Clients disappear and reappear expecting you to drop everything 3. You say "one last time" but it's never actually the last time 4. You know how to set boundaries but struggle to enforce them 5. They're not confused. They're testing you. And they're winning. This podcast is for women who are done performing. If you want more of this energy the kind of conversation that reminds you who you actually are visit wwdaglobal.com and step into the room. You'll get weekly insights, frameworks I don't share anywhere else, and a community of women who've stopped asking for permission. About Women Who Don't Apologise: Over 150 episodes exploring power, boundaries, capacity, and what it means to live on your own terms. Hosted by Patricia Haywood—lawyer, The Queen of Construction Contracts, Top 100 Woman in Construction, GC, and chief unapologetic mistress. For women 40+ who are exhausted from following everyone else's blueprint.

Money Is the Root of All Evil (And That's Exactly Why I Refuse to Be Without It)

Money is the root of all evil. Yes, I actually believe it very strongly. Because evil loves a broke pocket. If you have no money, evil finds you easily. It limits your choices and forces you into decisions you wouldn't otherwise make. People say money's the root of all evil because people with a lot of money do a lot of harm. But in my view, yes, it opens up a lot of options for you, but the doing of the harm becomes a conscious decision. A serious one. Because you're no longer acting from desperation. You are actively choosing to do the harm. So money is the root of all evil in both directions. Having none and having a lot. Both sides of the coin. And I don't think we should separate the two. Once I flipped it that way and explained it to Faye, she totally got where I was coming from. It was an aha moment for both of us. And that's how I stopped being afraid to say: I want more money. I want more money because money equals options. Money equals time. Money equals autonomy. And going into later life, let's just be honest: social care is underfunded, pensions are really shaky right now, the NHS is stretched beyond belief, councils are scrambling to cover care costs right now, and we are living longer. That means we have a longer life to fund. So yes, I want more money and I want lots of it. Not because I worship it, but because I understand the reality. I work with a lot of public organizations advising them on major projects, and one of the major projects right now is adult social care and funding care homes and later-years neighborhoods that you and I can live in when we get older. There's a lot of transformation programs around that—millions, billions being put towards funding this—and it is still not enough because we're living longer. So in my view, having money doesn't make you evil. It just removes the excuses. That's it. Having no money? That's when evil shows up uninvited. When you have money, you are inviting the evil, because now you are actively making the decision to go and do evil. You don't need to do evil. You've got the money. You don't need to undercut the work. You don't need to force people to do things they don't want to do. You can go out there and pay people properly to do honorable work. So I agree fully: money is the root of all evil. And that's exactly why I freely refuse to be without it. I refuse to be without it because I want to be able to consciously decide what I want to do. I don't want to be forced to do anything I don't want to do. And that is only possible with the currency we have developed to buy goods and services with. So I'm all on that bandwagon. I am on the money train. And we should all be, because we are living longer, we need more money, and we need choices. We need to make good choices. And we really can do that when we have more resources. This one's for you if: 1. You were raised to believe wanting money makes you greedy or evil 2. You're in your 40s and realizing the systems won't save you in later life 3. You want permission to unapologetically want more money 4. You understand that financial autonomy = the ability to make conscious choices Money isn't evil. Lack of options is. This podcast is for women who are done performing. If you want more of this energy—the kind of conversation that reminds you who you actually are—visit wwdaglobal.com and step into the room. You'll get insights, frameworks I don't share anywhere else, and a community of women who've stopped asking for permission. About Women Who Don't Apologise: Over 150 episodes exploring power, boundaries, capacity, and what it means to live on your own terms. Hosted by Patricia Haywood—lawyer, The Queen of Construction Contracts, Top 100 Woman in Construction, GC, and chief unapologetic mistress. For women 40+ who are exhausted from following everyone else's blueprint.