230 - The Shame Triangle: The Inner Way That's Keeping You Stuck w/ Jessica Fern & David Cooley

Shitshow Saturday #205 - The Return of Sam B.

SHITSHOW SATURDAY #118 - Sam B. [https://redcircle.com/shows/6cbac788-c2a3-4eaa-bce9-06845e610d8a/episodes/65b2dded-d764-4826-b692-dab4c39d18c7] ⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community 6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection 👉 theshitshow.mn.co [http://theshitshow.mn.co/] 🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops. ➡️ Join here [https://adultchildpodcast.substack.com/] 💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD ☕ Buy Me a Coffee [http://www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild] – help Andrea (and her cats) eat 🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch [http://www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop] 💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA Instagram → @adultchildpod [https://www.instagram.com/adultchildpod] TikTok → @adultchildpod [http://www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod] YouTube → @adultchildpod [https://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod] SPONSORS Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com [https://www.time4learning.com/] Our Sponsors: * Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands [https://redcircle.com/brands] Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy [https://redcircle.com/privacy]

230 - The Shame Triangle: The Inner Way That's Keeping You Stuck w/ Jessica Fern & David Cooley

The voice beating you up, the shame absorbing it, the part that doesn't want you to feel it — that's the triangle you're trapped in. Jessica Fern [https://www.jessicafern.com/] is a certified clinical trauma therapist, David Cooley [https://www.restorativerelationship.com/] is a restorative justice practitioner, and together they co-authored Polywise. In their most recent book, Transforming the Shame Triangle [https://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Shame-Triangle-Using-Parts/dp/199086970X], they take Karpman's classic drama triangle and flip it inward to capture the inner dynamic that keeps trauma survivors stuck. Through a parts work lens, they show how to work with the inner critic, shame, and escaper to find true healing.  ✨ What this episode explores ▪️How the Shame Triangle Starts — Why the cycle almost always kicks off with the inner critic firing first, even when what you notice is the escape behavior. ▪️The Critic That's Still in the Room — Why people with parents, partners, or bosses actively criticizing them often feel pure shame instead of a strong inner voice. ▪️The Hidden Shame of Under-Functioning — Why being the "lazy" one carries a layer of self-judgment that over-functioners never have to face ▪️ The Symptoms That Aren't the Problem — Why the behaviors that get you diagnosed (perfecting, numbing, raging, zoning) are downstream of the part actually driving the cycle. ▪️ Inner Critic to Inner Coach — What it actually takes to transform the voice tearing you down into something on your side ▪️ Impact vs. Wrongdoing — Why telling a part of you "you wronged me" keeps the cycle alive, and the restorative justice reframe that breaks it. ----------------------- 🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love: ▪️ Ep 101 | The Neuroscience of Toxic Shame w/ Robyn Gobbel [https://redcircle.com/shows/6cbac788-c2a3-4eaa-bce9-06845e610d8a/episodes/a0eb82f6-67dd-4bd1-be3f-acdee3d7e059] ▪️ Ep 137 | Healing The Inner Child Through Parts Work w/ Michelle Chalfant [https://redcircle.com/shows/6cbac788-c2a3-4eaa-bce9-06845e610d8a/episodes/5bdb01d4-7d9c-47d4-bc72-8a696bb28f19] ▪️ Ep 215 | Repeat or Recover w/ Dr. Tian Dayton: The Cost of Relational Trauma [https://redcircle.com/shows/6cbac788-c2a3-4eaa-bce9-06845e610d8a/episodes/99e7a99e-7ff7-4b98-b53a-6a508745cee2] ----------------------- ⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community 6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection 👉 theshitshow.mn.co [http://theshitshow.mn.co/] 🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops. ➡️ Join here [https://adultchildpodcast.substack.com/] 💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD ☕ Buy Me a Coffee [http://www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild] – help Andrea (and her cats) eat 🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch [http://www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop] 💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA Instagram → @adultchildpod [https://www.instagram.com/adultchildpod] TikTok → @adultchildpod [http://www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod] YouTube → @adultchildpod [https://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod] Our Sponsors: * Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands [https://redcircle.com/brands] Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy [https://redcircle.com/privacy]

Shitshow Saturday #204 - When Your Parent Shared Too Much or Not Enough

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community 6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection 👉 theshitshow.mn.co [http://theshitshow.mn.co/] 🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops. ➡️ Join here [https://adultchildpodcast.substack.com/] 💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD ☕ Buy Me a Coffee [http://www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild] – help Andrea (and her cats) eat 🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch [http://www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop] 💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA Instagram → @adultchildpod [https://www.instagram.com/adultchildpod] TikTok → @adultchildpod [http://www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod] YouTube → @adultchildpod [https://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod] SPONSORS Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com [https://www.time4learning.com/] Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands [https://redcircle.com/brands] Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy [https://redcircle.com/privacy]

229 - The Codependency Bottom: When Sobriety Cracks Open the Trauma Underneath w/ David Deane Haskel

The most painful rock bottoms don't come from a relationship with a substance. They come from a relationship with a person.                David Deane Haskel [https://daviddeanehaskell.com/] is an author of several fiction books, with his most recent being the memoir Wounded Angels [https://www.amazon.com/Wounded-Angels-Memoir-Lights-Healing/dp/B0FTWCQRLL/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.hKeA9e-mS0-HmmcPeNeH5g.IQvP4J9iMB2Nl2F2slCb77CRk9UhPO_XcHbpV0Fr2AM&dib_tag=se&qid=1778017658&sr=8-1-spons]. After losing his mother to suicide at the age of four, he spent the rest of his childhood navigating chaos at home and at school, while never feeling like he fit in. After finally finding sobriety, it was a codependent relationship that took him to new depths of pain and allowed him to embark on a journey to heal his unresolved trauma. ✨ What this episode explores ▪️ Hitting a Codependency Bottom — Why a codependent relationship hijacks the nervous system like a substance ▪️ Why Trauma Surfaces in Sobriety — Why most addictions function as a way to regulate unresolved trauma, and why removing the substance forces that trauma to the surface. ▪️ The Narcissistic Discard — Why a sudden, unilateral cutoff by someone you trusted reactivates the original abandonment wound in ways no other rupture can. ▪️ The Unique Attachment Wound of Losing a Parent in Childhood — How losing a parent to death or childhood in childhood creates an imprint no other loss does ▪️ The Repetition Compulsion of the Scapegoat — How scapegoats keep recreating the family system they grew up in by choosing partners who avoid accountability. ▪️ The Childhood Origins of Shame Attacks — How a single moment of overwhelming shame can lock the body into the same response for decades. ----------------------- 🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love: ▪️ 201: Trauma-Bonded No More — My Journey Through Shame, Regression & Finding My Way Back [https://redcircle.com/shows/6cbac788-c2a3-4eaa-bce9-06845e610d8a/episodes/0e6675cb-8d09-4997-84f5-1b10732c01a7] ▪️Ep 56 — The Truth About Codependency: It’s Not Empathy, It’s Survival w/ Dr. Sarah Michaud [https://redcircle.com/shows/6cbac788-c2a3-4eaa-bce9-06845e610d8a/episodes/bb125737-44d8-4eca-81cb-cdf755ad68c6] ▪️Ep 158 - Stop People-Pleasing & Find Your Power w/ Hailey Magee [https://redcircle.com/shows/6cbac788-c2a3-4eaa-bce9-06845e610d8a/episodes/75742c1a-5d70-4d79-86b9-41b6057f82fe] ----------------------- ⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community 6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection 👉 theshitshow.mn.co [http://theshitshow.mn.co/] 🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops. ➡️ Join here [https://adultchildpodcast.substack.com/] 💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD ☕ Buy Me a Coffee [http://www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild] – help Andrea (and her cats) eat 🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch [http://www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop] 💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA Instagram → @adultchildpod [https://www.instagram.com/adultchildpod] TikTok → @adultchildpod [http://www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod] YouTube → @adultchildpod [https://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod] Our Sponsors: * Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands [https://redcircle.com/brands] Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy [https://redcircle.com/privacy]

Shitshow Saturday #203 - Why Can't I Just Let Myself Feel Good?

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community 6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection 👉 theshitshow.mn.co [http://theshitshow.mn.co/] 🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops. ➡️ Join here [https://adultchildpodcast.substack.com/] 💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD ☕ Buy Me a Coffee [http://www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild] – help Andrea (and her cats) eat 🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch [http://www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop] 💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA Instagram → @adultchildpod [https://www.instagram.com/adultchildpod] TikTok → @adultchildpod [http://www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod] YouTube → @adultchildpod [https://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpod] SPONSORS Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com [https://www.time4learning.com/] Our Sponsors: * Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands [https://redcircle.com/brands] Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy [https://redcircle.com/privacy]