Choir vs. The Patriarchy

Choir vs. The Patriarchy

Tegan Miller founded Spectra, an all women’s choir, on the premise that choral music should be available to all voices, especially those who have not felt empowered to be vocal. The choral and classic music world — as with many high-brow art communities — is plagued with elitism and run by (typically male) dictatorial characters. Tegan runs her choir with a more loving and encouraging ethos, while still maintaining a standard of excellence. In this episode, Rebecca and Tegan talk about how singing is the right of all people, and that with a focused mindset and certain training, anyone can be part of a chorus. We also discuss how patriarchy shows itself in the choral and classical music culture at large, even among female directors and in female dynamics. We explore what happens when women gather together to embody their voice, free of cattiness and competition, led by a director who refuses to gatekeep. Check out the Spectra Choir, based in Savannah, GA, at www.spectrachoir.com. If there’s something you want to say on the pod, reach out to projectnotyourenemy@gmail.com.

A Conservative Christian Enters a Liberal College | The Minefield

Trey and Rebecca both entered college as conservative Christians, but almost 20 years apart. In 2007, Rebecca faced a wildly different political landscape and culture of Christianity than Trey experiences in 2026. And for many reasons, their outcomes were different. Rebecca walked away from the church while Trey continues on.Conservatism is a growing trend among GenZ, but universities remain largely liberal. That means that conservative young people (despite strengthening in numbers) are facing an education and environment that does not align with their values and worldview. In this episode of The Minefield, Trey explains what that's like and the impact that has or has not had on his faith. The Minefield is an episode format that is focused on conversations with people across the aisle, politically or otherwise.If there’s something you want to say on the pod, reach out to projectnotyourenemy@gmail.com.

Not All Life Coaches Are Created Equal

Have you ever been annoyed by people who call themselves life coaches? Rebecca has often judged "self-help" practitioners and program facilitators who claim to help you level up in life. They can sometimes ego trip, or give you advice that's not suited to you, make you dependent on them, or take advantage of your money.Carmen Gerlach works as an engineer by day, but she's starting her own practice as a Relationship Systems Coach. She's a good friend of Rebecca's and despite Rebecca's typical prejudices she has successfully practiced a lot of techniques with Rebecca that have helped her life. She's not the person you think of -- presenting the answer's to life on Instagram -- and there's actually a lot of reasons for this that we dive into in this episode. We cover what all the pitfalls are and what elements make a life coach a *real* coach, and not just a persuasive person. Note: We made a slight error on the number of coaches in the International Coaching Foundation. There are 125k CoActive coaches and ICF has 50-60k. If there’s something you want to say on the pod, reach out to projectnotyourenemy@gmail.com.

Navigating the Political Minefield | The Minefield

Lyonel Laverde and Rebecca are conservative and liberal, respectively, but they agree on the need for integrity, discernment, openness, and respect when it comes to navigating politics. In this episode of The Minefield, they discuss how they each stand by their values, what it means for voters and political leaders to have integrity, and the idea of the "mushy middle". They offer an example of how to talk about politics with friends across the aisle and how to maintain constructive attitudes in the midst of immense political unrest. The Minefield is an episode format that is focused on conversations with people across the aisle, politically or otherwise.

Men, Women, Abuse & Power

Many women are raised to believe that men are meant to have more power than them, and some women continue to hold onto this in various contexts, especially when it comes to voicing their opinions. For a lot of us, this has created patterns that have undermined our own power and self esteem, and sometimes caused us to end up in dangerous situations. In this episode, Rebecca and her close friend Nicole Netti talk about what they were taught, what they've experienced, the level of power they want, and how Nicole has managed to find her voice amidst the contradictions and obstacles. You can find Nicole on Tiktok at @petty_netti