Ep. 13 "Enough: I Exist, and I am Worthy" - Khushnum's Story

Ep. 13 "Enough: I Exist, and I am Worthy" - Khushnum's Story

In this episode, I talk with Khushnum - a therapist and mentor - about what happens when your worth gets wired to your performance before you're old enough to know it's happening. Khushnum grew up believing she was only as good as what she could produce. She became a high achiever, a fixer, the one who reads the room before she had the words for any of it. And even with all the training, all the modalities, all the language for what she was doing, the pattern kept running underneath. It took her body stopping her - and a long stretch of sitting in the quiet she'd spent her whole life avoiding - to start asking who she was without the performance. We talk about over-functioning, the difference between healing and just collecting more knowledge about yourself, what it actually looks like to give something to yourself instead of checking a box, and why she's not afraid to get in the muck with the people she works with. Khushnum isn't standing at a tidy ending. She's still in it, a few steps further down the path. That's exactly what makes this one worth sitting with. A few things we get into: * Worth that's tied to producing, and where that starts * Why "I exist, and I'm worthy" is harder to say than it sounds * The one small non-negotiable you give to yourself every day * Being in it with people instead of handing down answers Find Khushnum: https://www.instagram.com/khushnum_stevens/ [https://www.instagram.com/khushnum_stevens/] ---------------------------------------- Resources relevant to what was shared: If you're running on burnout or feeling like you've lost yourself somewhere in everything you do for everyone else, you don't have to sit in that alone. For mental health support and finding a therapist: SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7) Psychology Today therapist finder: psychologytoday.com [http://psychologytoday.com] If you are in crisis or having thoughts of suicide: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 International listeners: findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com] (200+ countries) befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org] ---------------------------------------- Have a story for Anchor Moments? hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com] | anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com]

Ep 12 Maggie's Story, Part 3: "I Like Who I Am" - Healing From a Lifetime of Trauma

Trigger warning: grief and the death of a parent, a serious medical event (stroke), and ongoing healing from trauma. This episode is lighter than Parts 1 and 2, but please take care of yourself. Resources are below. This is Part 3 - the finale. If you haven't listened from the beginning, start with Part 1 first. This story is worth hearing in order. She left. She got out. Her son was in the seat next to her. Part 3 is what happened after. Freedom doesn't mean the hard stuff stops. Maggie still carried the fear in her body - still said sorry too many times, still flinched when she spilled something. Fifty years of survival doesn't pack up and leave just because the circumstances change. But something else happened too. A man named Darrin showed up, patient in a way she had never experienced. Her son became someone she is endlessly proud of. And slowly, then all at once, Maggie started to find her way back to herself. Part 3 covers: starting over and watching her son thrive - what it felt like to be loved without conditions for the first time - losing her mother and the last phone call she almost didn't take - the morning in 2019 when she had a stroke at work and was airlifted to the hospital - learning to walk, talk, and think again - the grief, the arthritis, the art she came back to - and what she found, at fifty years old: peace. A self she actually likes. "I would do it all again to be where I am right now." If you need support Crisis/Suicide: 988 (US/CA) · Samaritans 116 123 (UK/IE) · Lifeline 13 11 14 (AU) · 0800 543 354 (NZ) | 988lifeline.org [http://988lifeline.org] Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233 (US) · 0808 2000 247 (UK) · sheltersafe.ca [http://sheltersafe.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 (AU) · Women's Aid 1800 341 900 (IE) · Are You OK 0800 456 450 (NZ) Stroke Recovery: stroke.org [http://stroke.org] (US) · stroke.org.uk [http://stroke.org.uk] (UK) · heartandstroke.ca [http://heartandstroke.ca] (CA) · strokefoundation.org.au [http://strokefoundation.org.au] (AU) · irishheart.ie [http://irishheart.ie] (IE) · stroke.org.nz [http://stroke.org.nz] (NZ) Mental Health: SAMHSA 1-800-662-4357 samhsa.gov [http://samhsa.gov] (US) · Mind 0300 123 3393 mind.org.uk [http://mind.org.uk] (UK) · crisisservicescanada.ca [http://crisisservicescanada.ca] (CA) · Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 (AU) · mentalhealthireland.ie [http://mentalhealthireland.ie] (IE) · mentalhealth.org.nz [http://mentalhealth.org.nz] (NZ) Website: anchormomentspod.com Instagram: @anchormomentspod If Maggie's story moved you, share it. These stories only do their work when they travel.

Ep. 11 Maggie's Story, Part 2: "He Didn't Even Notice I Was Gone" -Leaving an Abusive Marriage

Trigger warning: emotional and financial abuse within a marriage, a false criminal accusation and arrest, suicidal ideation, and grief. This is Part 2 of a three-part series. At the end of Part 1, Maggie was alive. Angry about it. Not yet knowing what was still ahead. Part 2 is the long middle. And if you've ever lived through a long middle - the part where things are hard and slow and there's no obvious way out - you will recognize something of yourself in this episode. Maggie stayed in a marriage for nearly twenty years that slowly took everything: her money, her confidence, her voice. She knew something was wrong. But she had been practicing survival since she was small. And then her son was born. And everything shifted. Part 2 covers: almost two decades of financial and emotional control - finding her voice at work because it was the only place she had one - her son's birth and the turning point he became - the moment her twelve-year-old said he couldn't watch her cry anymore - being fired and falsely accused of embezzling at the same time she was facing a cancer scare - the arrest, the mugshot on the front page, and $$$ in restitution ordered for something she didn't do - why she pleaded guilty - forgiving her dying father - and the morning she packed everything into a little car and drove away while her husband was at work. He didn't even notice she was gone. All parts available now. Subscribe so you don't miss our next great story. Resources: Crisis/Suicide: 988 (US/CA) · Samaritans 116 123 (UK/IE) · Lifeline 13 11 14 (AU) · 0800 543 354 (NZ) | 988lifeline.org [http://988lifeline.org] Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233 (US) · 0808 2000 247 (UK) · sheltersafe.ca [http://sheltersafe.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 (AU) · Women's Aid 1800 341 900 (IE) · Are You OK 0800 456 450 (NZ) Sexual Assault: RAINN 1-800-656-4673 (US) · Rape Crisis 0808 802 9999 (England/Wales) · 08088 01 03 02 (Scotland) · casac.ca [http://casac.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT (AU) · DRCC 1800 778 888 (IE) · Safe to Talk 0800 044 334 (NZ) Pregnancy & Infant Loss: nationalshare.org [http://nationalshare.org] (US) · Sands 0808 164 3332 sands.org.uk [http://sands.org.uk] (UK) · pailnetwork.ca [http://pailnetwork.ca] (CA) · Sands 1300 072 637 sands.org.au [http://sands.org.au] (AU) · alittlelifetime.ie [http://alittlelifetime.ie] (IE) · sands.org.nz [http://sands.org.nz] (NZ) Mental Health: SAMHSA 1-800-662-4357 samhsa.gov [http://samhsa.gov] (US) · Mind 0300 123 3393 mind.org.uk [http://mind.org.uk] (UK) · crisisservicescanada.ca [http://crisisservicescanada.ca] (CA) · Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 (AU) · mentalhealthireland.ie [http://mentalhealthireland.ie] (IE) · mentalhealth.org.nz [http://mentalhealth.org.nz] (NZ) Website: anchormomentspod.com Instagram: @anchormomentspod

Ep. 10 Maggie's Story, Part 1: "I Was Never Not Afraid" - Surviving an Abusive Childhood

Trigger warning: childhood physical and emotional abuse, sexual assault, pregnancy loss (including stillbirth), suicide attempt, and domestic violence. Resources are below. This is Part 1 of a three-part series. Maggie has a thousand stories and we're just scratching the surface here. Maggie grew up in a home ruled by fear. Her father was physically and emotionally abusive in ways that shaped everything that came after. Her childhood is mostly blank to her - not because nothing happened, but because her mind protected her from remembering too much of it. What she does remember, she shares here - unflinchingly, with humor and with grief. Part 1 covers: a childhood with an unpredictable, abusive father - her brother leaving when she was nine - being sexually assaulted at thirteen and her reputation destroyed before she understood what had happened - moving twenty-two times - leaving home at seventeen - the loss of her daughter Emily Grace at thirty-six weeks - and the night, a week after the funeral, when she took a whole bottle of pills. Maggie survived all of it. But in Part 1, she doesn't know yet what she's surviving toward. Parts 2 & 3 available now. Subscribe so you don't miss the next great story. ---------------------------------------- If you need support Crisis/Suicide: 988 (US/CA) · Samaritans 116 123 (UK/IE) · Lifeline 13 11 14 (AU) · 0800 543 354 (NZ) | 988lifeline.org [http://988lifeline.org] Sexual Assault: RAINN 1-800-656-4673 (US) · Rape Crisis 0808 802 9999 (England/Wales) · 08088 01 03 02 (Scotland) · casac.ca [http://casac.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 (AU) · DRCC 1800 778 888 (IE) · Safe to Talk 0800 044 334 (NZ) Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233 (US) · 0808 2000 247 (UK) · sheltersafe.ca [http://sheltersafe.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 (AU) · Women's Aid 1800 341 900 (IE) · Are You OK 0800 456 450 (NZ) Pregnancy & Infant Loss: nationalshare.org [http://nationalshare.org] (US) · Sands 0808 164 3332 sands.org.uk [http://sands.org.uk] (UK) · pailnetwork.ca [http://pailnetwork.ca] (CA) · Sands 1300 072 637 sands.org.au [http://sands.org.au] (AU) · alittlelifetime.ie [http://alittlelifetime.ie] (IE) · sands.org.nz [http://sands.org.nz] (NZ) Mental Health: SAMHSA 1-800-662-4357 samhsa.gov [http://samhsa.gov] (US) · Mind 0300 123 3393 mind.org.uk [http://mind.org.uk] (UK) · crisisservicescanada.ca [http://crisisservicescanada.ca] (CA) · Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 beyondblue.org.au [http://beyondblue.org.au] (AU) · mentalhealthireland.ie [http://mentalhealthireland.ie] (IE) · mentalhealth.org.nz [http://mentalhealth.org.nz] (NZ) Connect with Anchor Moments * Website: anchormomentspod.com * Instagram: @anchormomentspod

Ep. 9 The Quiet Keeper

The Quiet Keeper is who I've been. This episode is where she retires. No guest today. Just me answering the two questions that have come up more than anything else since we launched: why I say "who we are still becoming," and how we ended up homeless. Both answers are longer than I expected, messier than I wanted, and still not fully over. But you asked. A gentle heads-up: This episode includes mention of sexual assault, homelessness, a mental health crisis, family estrangement, and financial fraud. Resources are below. Please take care of yourself as you listen. Resources If anything in this episode touched something real for you, please reach out for support. * RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1-800-656-4673 or rainn.org [http://rainn.org] (US) * 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - call or text 988 (US) * Crisis Text Line - text HOME to 741741 (US) * SAMHSA National Helpline (mental health and crisis support) - 1-800-662-4357 (US) * National Homeless Shelter Directory - homelessshelterdirectory.org [http://homelessshelterdirectory.org] (US) * Psychology Today therapist finder - psychologytoday.com [http://psychologytoday.com] (US and international listings) If you're outside the US - findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com] connects you to crisis support in more than 200 countries. Befrienders Worldwide offers free emotional support at befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org]. If you don't feel ready to call anyone, even telling one safe person you're struggling counts. If this episode stayed with you Please follow, rate, and share. One text to one person is the single biggest thing you can do for a show this size, and it might be exactly what someone in your life needs today. Tag us on socials @anchormomentspod. If you have a story you think belongs here, reach out at anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] or email hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com]. I'm Krista Patrick. This is Anchor Moments. You are already part of someone's story. Carry that with kindness.