Cruise Ships and Nip Slips

They did WHAT at Chick-Fil-A?!

Welcome back to another chaotic episode of Bloodline Banter, where this week starts with questionable sleep scores, Landon sleeping like a Victorian corpse, and a valet company that somehow managed to turn a routine parking job into a blown tire and a full-blown customer service nightmare. Naturally, this spirals into a rant about apartment parking, Tesla surveillance footage, and the growing suspicion that nobody in Nashville is actually in a hurry to do their job. From there, we debate whether social media creators are apparently no longer allowed to have problems, prepare for a road trip to Rock The Country, and once again confirm that Buc-ee's may be the closest thing the South has to a religious experience. We also get into hangover prevention, food apps that expose what's actually hiding in your groceries, and a list of behaviors that should probably get you investigated—including couples who sit on the same side of a restaurant booth and families who share a single Facebook account. Things take a turn when we dive into small-town life, landmark directions, Dollar Generals every fifteen minutes, and the never-ending debate over modern parenting versus the old-school method of being handed a hickory switch and told to go pick your punishment. Plus, we've got Bloodline Brain Check trivia, wedding budget debates, relationship advice for serial second-date avoiders, and one listener-submitted Chick-fil-A parking lot story that left us wondering whether they needed the police or a pastor. So grab a drink, check your sleep score, and join us for an episode that somehow manages to connect popped tires, Buc-ee's, gentle parenting, Abraham Lincoln, and public indecency in a Chick-fil-A parking lot. SPONSORS:  ZBiotics: Go to zbiotics.com/BANTER to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use BANTER at checkout.   Olive App: Download the Olive App to claim your 7-day FREE trial! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789 [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789] Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)

Southern Baptist Potluck

Welcome back to another chaotic episode of Bloodline Banter, where this week somehow turns into a full discussion about raw Mexican restaurant chicken, the downfall of Pizza Hut, impossible gym membership cancellations, fake résumés, DoorDash drivers refusing to come upstairs, and why every small town only has pizza and Mexican food. We also debate croutons, church potlucks, Krispy Kreme runs in Pigeon Forge, bagel shops with questionable health scores, and the fact that some people absolutely should not be allowed to cheat in relationships. Of course, we also introduce the official Bloodline Banter hunger scale: Starving Marving, Starving Joanna, Starving Cletus, and the dangerously severe Starving Jebediah. Plus Bloodline Brain Check returns, Cousin Counsel goes completely off the rails, and we announce a very special upcoming guest: Abby Lee Miller. If you’ve ever gotten irrationally emotional over a Pizza Hut salad bar or threatened to pull over for a Hunts Brothers Pizza because you were Starving Jebediah… this episode is for you.   SPONSORS: Sunrise Flour Mill: Go to https://sunriseflourmill.com and use code BANTER for 20% off your first order Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter.   SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com     SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)

Take OFF The Knee Brace

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter where this week we start off talking about Family Feud and somehow end up debating horse farms, marathon running, organ donation, and why root beer tastes like something that should never have been approved for human consumption. This episode is completely all over the place in the best way possible. We get into sleep scores, gym goals, Cherry Coke addictions, social media couples that seem just a little too performative, and the realization that embarrassment on the internet no longer exists. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Landon decides he wants a massive horse farm even though he barely wants to ride horses, and Riley starts talking about becoming a bestselling author while getting roasted over the phrase “in fact.” We also take a trip back into Southern childhood memories with rodeos, boiled peanuts, Blockbuster nights, barrel races, and growing up on a farm where flying through a field in a side-by-side at unsafe speeds somehow counted as normal behavior. There’s also a very passionate conversation about people who wear hospital bracelets way longer than necessary and why gym class may have permanently traumatized both of us. And of course, Cousin Counsel gets messy this week with family drama spilling into a classroom, a boyfriend with an extremely questionable “girl best friend” situation, and a listener preparing to move away from home for the first time and feeling completely terrified about starting over. If you’ve ever lied about how fast you were driving, dreamed about owning land and horses for absolutely no reason, judged couples on TikTok, missed Friday nights at Blockbuster, or felt personally attacked by a gym teacher growing up… this episode is for you. Submit all stories, questions, and Cousin Counsel chaos to team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com and you might end up featured on the next episode. Sponsors: Go to https://sunriseflourmill.com and use code BANTER for 20% off your first order. Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline and use code BLOODLINE to receive a free gift with your Journey Pack. Bloodline Banter: Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/) Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@landonmauk) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@landon.mauk) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933)

Cruise Ships and Nip Slips

Welcome back to another episode of Bloodline Banter where this week we somehow managed to cover the Met Gala, global pandemics, Sonic sewage disasters, the Pythagorean theorem, and the possibility that chickens were probably traumatized the first time they laid eggs. So basically… business as usual. We kick things off reacting to some of the most questionable Met Gala looks we’ve ever seen and quickly spiral into a discussion about whether celebrities are getting dressed by fashion designers or abandoned at Hobby Lobby with a hot glue gun and a dream. From there, things only get more chaotic as we dive headfirst into the newest virus outbreak, cruise ship conspiracies, masks, vaccines, and why Riley thinks half the country would willingly survive another pandemic inside Walmart. Somewhere along the way, we also recap a night out on Broadway that nearly ended with Riley taking a solo swim in the Cumberland River, discuss suspicious homeless signs, and question why Church of God ladies always seem to appear in denim skirts on Lower Broadway. We also get into growing up Southern, small-town gossip, and why Georgia State Patrol officers seem to materialize out of thin air like federal agents from the future. Then things somehow turn educational during Bloodline Brain Check where we discover we may not actually know basic geography, what GPS stands for, or the capital of Australia. Honestly, the American school system probably gave up on us years ago. And just when things couldn’t get any more unhinged, Landon relives the traumatic experience that made him quit Sonic after being told to vacuum mystery sewage liquid out of a kitchen floor drain. If you’ve ever gotten lost on Broadway, questioned literally everything you learned in school, nearly died working a minimum wage job, or looked at a Met Gala outfit and thought “what the hell am I looking at?”… this episode is for you. SPONSORS: Go to https://sunriseflourmill.com and use code BANTER for 20% off your first order  Download the Olive App to claim your 7-day FREE trial! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789 [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789] SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com [team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com] Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)

Poop Fumes in the Mouth Wash

SPONSORS: Go to https://sunriseflourmill.com and use code BANTER for 20% off your first order. Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline [https://tryfum.com/bloodline] and use code BLOODLINE to receive a free gift with your Journey Pack. We’re back again… this time from a brand new studio that looks way more put together than we actually are. Because behind the scenes? We just got back from Texas and we are running on absolutely nothing... no sleep, mild delusion, and whatever kind of energy you get from airport snacks and poor decisions. We break down the entire Rock the Country trip, including a rental car that came back looking like it fought in a war (and charged us accordingly), a flight that felt like it was held together by prayer, and some of the most bizarre human beings we’ve ever encountered in public. At one point we’re pretty sure a man was just casually eating birdseed… like that was a normal thing to do. From there, we spiral (naturally) into Cousin Counsel where we tackle quitting your 9–5 to become a content creator, which sounds fun until you realize it’s 90% emails, stress, and explaining your life choices to people who don’t get it. We also get into what to do when you’re in a “perfect” relationship but somehow still bored (spoiler: it’s probably you), and confirm that yes… having full-blown fake arguments in your head is completely normal and honestly necessary at this point. Somewhere along the way, Riley admits to cutting open a couch with a kitchen knife as a child in a completely rational attempt to retrieve a dead iPad, and we also get into sleep preferences that could genuinely end friendships because if you’re sleeping at 72 degrees, we have questions. If you’ve ever been personally victimized by travel, questioned your sanity mid-flight, or created an entire imaginary argument just to win it later… this episode is for you. SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com [team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com] Bloodline Banter: Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/) Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter) Email - (bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@landonmauk) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@landon.mauk) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933)