Field Notes from the Alleged Vacation (BONUS)

Field Notes from the Alleged Vacation (BONUS)

Vacation promised rest. Instead, I got waves, sand, logistics, and the haunting realization that “relaxing family trip” is mostly just regular life in a swimsuit.

Daylight Savings + Feral Animals vs. My Middle-Aged Self (Episode 15)

In this episode: daylight savings, physical decline, pet mutiny, senior-cat breakfast theft, kitten tyranny, pollen, pain, and one very sparkly recital tutu that Edgar would absolutely destroy if given the chance. I am tired, the animals are confused, and the government remains suspiciously unbothered by the suffering it has caused.

The Edgar Containment Protocol (BONUS EPISODE)

My friend agreed to pet-sit while we’re on vacation. Very kind. Very generous. Deeply underinformed. What should have been a quick walkthrough turned into an hour-and-a-half briefing on inmate transfers, restricted zones, medication resistance, protective custody, yard privileges, toilet paper removal, and Edgar’s known priors. I did not mean to train an apprentice warden. But here we are.

Boof Has No Survival Instincts (Episode 14)

After battling giant fire ant beds in the yard, I thought I was solving one problem. Then Boof decided to lick the ant poison, because apparently eating random household objects was no longer enough of a challenge. What followed was trembling, an emergency vet visit, a full-body guilt spiral, and the realization that I am now fully trapped in my Pet Wrangling Era. Boof is home, medicated, unstable, and deeply loved. I, meanwhile, have a migraine and would like to crawl under my bed for three business days. Please pray for Boof. And possibly for me.

Boof Is at the Mailbox (Episode 13)

Edgar’s prison sentence has turned into feline rehabilitation, and against all odds, it seems to be helping. Meanwhile, Boof has entered her roaming era, Mr. Darcy is still being ambushed by a kitten with no conscience, and I have begun threatening baths without actually giving them because I enjoy living. Small wins, bigger losses.