Episode 8: Self Worth, Shame, and Stopping the Spiral

Episode 8: Self Worth, Shame, and Stopping the Spiral

Content note: This podcast discusses eating disorders, recovery, and mental health. We don't share numbers or get graphic about behaviors, but some topics may be sensitive for listeners in early recovery. This week Ashley and Shea get real about what it actually feels like to be mid-slip — not in retrospect, but in the thick of it, while recording a podcast about recovery. Plus: the grief of getting better, why self-worth is somehow scarier than shame, white-knuckling vs. doing the work, recreating treatment containment at home, and the real cost of keeping the eating disorder in your back pocket "just in case." Resources: Get HelpNEDA Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 | nationaleatingdisorders.orgCrisis Text Line: Text "NEDA" to 741741Find treatment: psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centers A Note from Ashley & Shea: We are not medical or mental health professionals, just two people navigating recovery and sharing what that looks like in real life. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as clinical advice. Please reach out to a qualified professional if you're struggling.

Episode 7: Relapse and Recovery in the Age of Ozempic

Content note: This podcast discusses eating disorders, recovery, and mental health. We don't share numbers or get graphic about behaviors, but some topics may be sensitive for listeners in early recovery. This week Ashley and Shea get candid about what it actually looks and feels like to be mid-slip. They talk about the difference between a lapse and a relapse — not the clinical definitions, but the lived ones — and how the eating disorder quietly gains ground through isolation, skipped snacks, and the slow erosion of your own voice. They dig into navigating recovery in the age of Ozempic, why the culture of thinness makes everything harder right now, and how to find footholds when the storm clouds start rolling in. Plus: the restriction high, the treatment high, the diagnosis you're maybe a little sad to no longer qualify for, and why people-pleasing is actually one of recovery's secret weapons. Terms & Resources Mentioned * Lapse vs. Relapse – A lapse is a temporary slip while still maintaining awareness and engagement with recovery. A relapse involves a fuller return to disordered patterns and mindset. * Red/Yellow/Green lists – A tool used in ED treatment to categorize behaviors by risk level, helping with self-monitoring in recovery. * Parts Work (IFS) – A therapeutic approach that treats the psyche as made up of distinct "parts," some of which carry pain or protective roles. Referenced when talking about separating from — or integrating — the eating disorder identity. * Life Without Ed – A book by Jenni Schaefer that frames the eating disorder as a separate relationship to be ended. Referenced in discussion of externalization vs. integration. * Ozempic / Wegovy – GLP-1 medications originally developed for diabetes and weight management, now widely used (and misused) for weight loss. Discussed in the context of how cultural thinness ideals are intensifying. Get HelpNEDA Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 | nationaleatingdisorders.orgCrisis Text Line: Text "NEDA" to 741741Find treatment: psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centers A Note from Ashley & Shea: We are not medical or mental health professionals, just two people navigating recovery and sharing what that looks like in real life. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as clinical advice. Please reach out to a qualified professional if you're struggling.

Eating While Crying Episode 6: But Really, Who Am I Without This?

Content note: This podcast discusses eating disorders, identity, and recovery. We don't share numbers or get graphic about behaviors, but some topics may be sensitive for listeners in early recovery. This week Ashley and Shea dig into one of the most disorienting parts of recovery: figuring out who you are when your eating disorder has been running the show. They talk about how the ED quietly takes the reins — thriving on inattention, missed signals, and isolation — and what it takes to start taking them back. They explore the gap between who you thought you'd become after treatment and who you actually are, why recovery feels like it should be a mountain peak moment but keeps turning out to be more of a series of scrambles up and down, and what genuinely grows when the disorder starts to shrink: empathy, joy, a sense of style, the ability to eat pasta again. Terms & Resources Mentioned PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) – More intensive than IOP; typically full days, 5 days/week, but you go home at night. IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) – A structured treatment program typically 3 days/week, a few hours per day. A step down from PHP. Res (Residential Treatment) – 24/7 supervised care in a treatment facility; the most intensive level before inpatient hospitalization. Stepped up / stepped down – Clinical language for moving to a more or less intensive level of treatment based on current needs. Parts Work (IFS) – A therapeutic approach that treats the psyche as made up of distinct "parts," some of which carry pain or protective roles. Referenced when talking about reintegrating rejected aspects of identity. Get Help NEDA Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 | nationaleatingdisorders.org Crisis Text Line: Text "NEDA" to 741741Find treatment: psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centers A Note from Ashley & Shea: We are not medical or mental health professionals, just two people navigating recovery and sharing what that looks like in real life. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as clinical advice. Please reach out to a qualified professional if you're struggling.

Eating While Crying Episode 5: Who Am I Without This?

Content note: This podcast discusses eating disorders, identity, and recovery. We don't share numbers or get graphic about behaviors, but some topics may be sensitive for listeners in early recovery. This week Ashley and Shea dig into one of the most disorienting parts of recovery: figuring out who you are without your eating disorder. They talk about how the ED can become your whole identity — your thing — and what it feels like when that gets taken away. They explore the messages that shaped them (theater directors, rom-com protagonists, stay-at-home moms), why the eating disorder gives you a script for how to live, and what it actually looks like to start writing a new one. Terms & Resources Mentioned Body dysmorphia – A mental health condition where you perceive flaws in your appearance that others don't see, or see your body size and shape inaccurately. NEDA overview → [https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/] Body checking – Repeatedly examining, measuring, or touching your body to assess its size or shape. A common behavior used to manage anxiety or disorientation around body image. PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) – More intensive than IOP; typically full days, 5 days/week, but you go home at night. IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) – A structured treatment program typically 3 days/week, a few hours per day. A step down from PHP. Stepped up to a higher level of care – Clinical language for moving to a more intensive treatment setting when your current level isn't sufficient. Get Help - NEDA Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 | nationaleatingdisorders.org [https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/] * Crisis Text Line: Text "NEDA" to 741741 * Find treatment: psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centers [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centers] A Note from Ashley & Shea: We are not medical or mental health professionals, just two people navigating recovery and sharing what that looks like in real life. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as clinical advice. Please reach out to a qualified professional if you're struggling.

Eating While Crying Episode 4: The Noise

Content note: This podcast discusses eating disorders, treatment, and recovery. We don't share numbers or get graphic about behaviors, but some topics may be sensitive for listeners in early recovery. This week Ashley and Shea dig into "the noise" — the relentless internal voice that eating disorders use to stay in control. They talk about what the noise actually sounds like, how it shapeshifts over the course of recovery (from a catchy pop song to a death metal scream), why it promises safety but never delivers, and what it feels like when the volume finally starts to drop. They also get into body safety, the grief of realizing how much time the eating disorder stole, and the small ordinary moments that now feel like freedom. Terms & Resources Mentioned Purity culture – The religious and cultural messaging around bodies and sexuality that connects to body shame and disordered eating. Ozempic / GLP-1 medications – The episode touches on the current cultural moment around weight loss drugs and the impact on people in eating disorder recovery. Get Help - NEDA Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 | nationaleatingdisorders.org [https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/] * Crisis Text Line: Text "NEDA" to 741741 * Find treatment: psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centers [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-centers] A Note from Ashley & Shea: We are not medical or mental health professionals, just two people navigating recovery and sharing what that looks like in real life. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as clinical advice. Please reach out to a qualified professional if you're struggling.