Feel Free Again with Cole James

048: How One Mother Lost Her Son, Sister, and Marriage, But Turned Tragedy Into Purpose

In this episode, I sit down with Judy Giovangelo, a grief recovery specialist who has experienced unimaginable loss. After losing her son to suicide, followed by multiple family tragedies, Judy shares how she navigated overwhelming grief and discovered tools that truly helped her heal. This conversation goes beyond surface-level advice and dives into what actually moves people forward. We unpack the myths surrounding grief, including the idea that time alone heals and why staying busy can actually keep people stuck. Judy opens up about how even meaningful work, like starting a nonprofit, can sometimes act as a distraction from processing pain. Together, we explore the concept of short-term energy relieving behaviors, unresolved grief, and how unprocessed emotions can impact relationships, mental health, and even the body. If you’ve ever felt stuck in grief, overwhelmed by loss, or unsure how to move forward, this episode offers hope and clarity. I truly believe this conversation can change how you see grief and what’s possible for your healing. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs it and help us get this message out. ⏱️ Chapters:  00:00 – Welcome to the Feel Free Again Podcast 05:03 – Judy’s Story: Loss, Trauma, and Nonprofit Beginnings 10:06 – The Truth About “Sturbs” and Avoiding Grief 15:09 – How Grief Impacts Relationships and Family Dynamics 20:12 – Ben Speaks: Turning Pain Into Purpose 25:15 – Grief Recovery Training and Real Transformation 30:18 – Misdiagnosed Grief and Mental Health Confusion 35:21 – Why Support Groups Don’t Always Work 40:24 – Guilt vs Regret: A Major Breakthrough 45:27 – Final Thoughts: Tools for Healing and Moving Forward Connect with Judy: Website: https://www.benspeaks.org/ [https://www.benspeaks.org/] Email: judygiovangelo@benspeaks.org [judygiovangelo@benspeaks.org] About the Host: Cole James, President of the Grief Recovery Institute, shares about the Power of Grief Recovery! Cole is dedicating his life to help people with grief. Now, grief is much more than just losing someone. Did you know that? You've probably heard of the Five Stages of Grief, right? Well, this goes much deeper than you think. Let me explain. Everyone has some type of grief in their lives, some haven't yet, but it's part of life. We can't escape it, BUT we can work through it. And you don't have to do it alone. Let's talk about it. We have trained Grief Recovery Method Specialists, who help heartbroken people, in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, the Middle East, Central America, South America, and North America. The Grief Recovery Method Certification Program is taught and available in multiple languages including: English, Spanish, Swedish, Hungarian, Ukrainian, and Russian. Our home office is in the United States and serves English-speaking nations and populations around the world, such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and the Commonwealth Nations. In addition, we have international affiliate offices in Sweden, Australia, Mexico, and Hungary. Our goal is to help as many people as possible, which is why our books have been translated into over 30 languages including: Spanish, French, Dutch, Portuguese, Japanese, Ukrainian, Russian, and many more. For more information visit: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/ [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/]

047: Retirement as a Grief Event: How to Navigate One of Life’s Most Major Transitions

In this episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, grief recovery specialist Joe Dubowski shares his transformative journey from tech professional to marriage and family therapist. After experiencing the unimaginable loss of his daughter in a shooting, Joe turned to grief recovery methods, which not only helped him process his emotions but also led him to dedicate his life to helping others navigate grief. With over 15 years of experience, Joe offers valuable insights into the often overlooked stages of grief and how we can find healing through focused emotional work. During the conversation, Joe reveals how retirement can be a powerful grief event that often goes unaddressed, leaving people with unresolved emotions. He shares his own personal experience in approaching this life transition with the tools of grief recovery, showing how completing emotional work allowed him to retire on his terms, with peace and clarity. This episode is an eye-opening discussion for anyone facing a major life change, whether it be retirement, loss, or other significant life shifts. Tune in as Joe emphasizes the importance of recognizing grief in all aspects of life, even in places where society doesn’t typically acknowledge it. From career changes to personal losses, Joe’s story highlights how grief recovery tools can help individuals complete unfinished emotional business and embrace new chapters in life. If you’re ready to dive deeper into your own grief and learn how to process it effectively, this episode is a must-listen. ⏱️ Chapters: 00:04 - Introduction to Joe Dowski and His Background 02:52 - Joe Reflects on the Loss of His Daughter 06:37 - Transition from Tech to Grief Recovery and Therapy 09:03 - The Impact of Losing a Child and Joe’s Grief Journey 12:11 - How Joe Discovered the Grief Recovery Handbook 15:09 - Joe’s First Experience with the Grief Recovery Method 18:22 - Joe’s Transition into Grief Recovery Work as a Profession 21:48 - Recognizing Grief Beyond the Obvious Losses 25:31 - Joe Talks About Retirement as a Grief Event 28:44 - The Role of Grief in Retirement and Life Transitions 32:15 - How Grief Recovery Tools Helped Joe Complete His Career 36:01 - The Importance of Getting Complete with Past Grief 49:21 - Final Thoughts on Grief, Transition, and the Power of Emotional Healing About the Host: Cole James, President of the Grief Recovery Institute, shares about the Power of Grief Recovery! Cole is dedicating his life to help people with grief. Now, grief is much more than just losing someone. Did you know that? You've probably heard of the Five Stages of Grief, right? Well, this goes much deeper than you think. Let me explain. Everyone has some type of grief in their lives, some haven't yet, but it's part of life. We can't escape it, BUT we can work through it. And you don't have to do it alone. Let's talk about it. We have trained Grief Recovery Method Specialists, who help heartbroken people, in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, the Middle East, Central America, South America, and North America. The Grief Recovery Method Certification Program is taught and available in multiple languages including: English, Spanish, Swedish, Hungarian, Ukrainian, and Russian. Our home office is in the United States and serves English-speaking nations and populations around the world, such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and the Commonwealth Nations. In addition, we have international affiliate offices in Sweden, Australia, Mexico, and Hungary. Our goal is to help as many people as possible, which is why our books have been translated into over 30 languages including: Spanish, French, Dutch, Portuguese, Japanese, Ukrainian, Russian, and many more. For more information visit: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/ [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/]

046: Overcoming Emotional Roadblocks from 18 Years of Unresolved Grief feat. Rhys Kiaaina

In this episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, I am joined by Rhys Kiaaina, a grief recovery specialist, who shares his profound personal journey with the Grief Recovery Method. Rhys opens up about his experience with unresolved grief from the loss of his grandmother, the church split that impacted his community, and how the grief recovery process helped him find healing after 18 years of emotional turmoil. He dives into the powerful and transformative process of identifying grief, embracing it, and working through it to find peace. Rhys explains how the Grief Recovery Method not only helped him recover emotionally from the significant loss of his grandmother but also opened his eyes to the power of healing unresolved grief in other areas of his life. His story of transformation emphasizes the importance of addressing the emotional pain we carry, especially when it remains unresolved for years. We also explore the profound impact of the method on communities, highlighting how it helped Rhys navigate his own grief while also aiding others in their healing journey. In this candid conversation, Rhys offers advice to those struggling with grief, encouraging them to take action and seek help. Whether it’s grief from personal loss, church splits, or other emotional wounds, this episode provides hope and practical insights for overcoming the emotional pain that can sometimes feel insurmountable. If you’re ready to heal from past hurt and emotional loss, tune in for Rhys' powerful message on how the Grief Recovery Method can help transform your life. ⏱️ Chapters:  00:00 - Introduction to Rhys Kiaaina and the Grief Recovery Method 00:43 - Rhys' Journey into Grief Recovery 02:05 - Impact of Church Split on Rhys and His Community 03:18 - Introduction of Grief Recovery Specialist at Rhys' Church 04:50 - Emotional Struggles After Church Split and Unresolved Grief 05:36 - Reflecting on the Loss of a Dear Family Friend 06:10 - Role of Grief Recovery Specialist in Helping the Church Heal 07:42 - Unresolved Childhood Grief and Its Lasting Impact 09:22 - Uncovering Unresolved Grief from the Loss of His Grandmother 12:02 - How Grief Recovery Helps Navigate Emotional Healing 14:50 - The Guilt Rhys Felt After Recommending Chemotherapy for His Grandmother 16:39 - Realizing the Importance of Feeling Emotions to Heal 19:15 - Rhys' Breakthrough: Visiting His Grandmother’s Grave 24:30 - The Power of Emotional Connection in Grief Recovery 58:00 - Rhys' Path to Becoming a Grief Recovery Specialist Connect with Rhys: Website 1: https://www.peacewithrhys.com/ [https://www.peacewithrhys.com/] Website 2: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/rhys-kiaaina [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/rhys-kiaaina] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhys-kiaaina-795b9793/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhys-kiaaina-795b9793/] Email: rhys@peacewithrhys.com [rhys@peacewithrhys.com] About the Host: Cole James, President of the Grief Recovery Institute, shares about the Power of Grief Recovery! Cole is dedicating his life to help people with grief. Now, grief is much more than just losing someone. Did you know that? You've probably heard of the Five Stages of Grief, right? Well, this goes much deeper than you think. Let me explain. Everyone has some type of grief in their lives, some haven't yet, but it's part of life. We can't escape it, BUT we can work through it. And you don't have to do it alone. Let's talk about it. We have trained Grief Recovery Method Specialists, who help heartbroken people, in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, the Middle East, Central America, South America, and North America. The Grief Recovery Method Certification Program is taught and available in multiple languages including: English, Spanish, Swedish, Hungarian, Ukrainian, and Russian. Our home office is in the United States and serves English-speaking nations and populations around the world, such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and the Commonwealth Nations. In addition, we have international affiliate offices in Sweden, Australia, Mexico, and Hungary. Our goal is to help as many people as possible, which is why our books have been translated into over 30 languages including: Spanish, French, Dutch, Portuguese, Japanese, Ukrainian, Russian, and many more. For more information visit: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/ [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/]

045: Rethinking Family Estrangement: Why Cutting Off Family Isn’t Always Healing (And When It Might Be) feat. Victoria Volk

Family estrangement is becoming increasingly common in the United States, with nearly one in four Americans now estranged from at least one close family member. In this episode of the Feel Free Again Podcast, I sit down with grief recovery specialist Victoria to have a deeply honest, nuanced conversation about why family estrangement happens, when it may be necessary, and when it may actually be causing more harm than healing. We talk about unresolved grief, emotional pain, mismatched values, expectations, boundaries, forgiveness, and the cultural shifts that have changed how families relate to one another. I share what I’ve seen after working with hundreds of people in grief recovery — adult children, parents, siblings — all heartbroken, often good people on both sides of the estrangement. We explore how unfinished emotional business, misunderstood boundaries, and unspoken expectations can quietly dismantle relationships, sometimes without either side fully understanding why. This conversation is not about shaming anyone for choosing distance. It’s about clarity, emotional responsibility, and reclaiming your agency. Grief recovery offers tools to help you assess whether estrangement is protecting you — or whether unresolved pain is driving decisions that don’t align with who you truly are. If you’re navigating family conflict, estrangement, forgiveness, or emotional healing, this episode will challenge you to slow down, reflect, and consider a different path forward. ⏱️ Chapters: 00:00 — Why Family Estrangement Is Rising 05:12 — Cultural Shifts and the Breakdown of Family Systems 09:47 — Expectations, Boundaries, and Planned Disappointments 14:01 — The Danger of Acting on Incomplete Emotional Pain 18:48 — Taking 1% Responsibility and Reclaiming Power 23:32 — Why Forgiveness Isn’t Weakness 28:23 — When Boundaries Become Emotional Walls 33:56 — The Grief of Parents Estranged From Adult Children 39:46 — Love, Acceptance, and Letting Others Choose 45:12 — How Grief Recovery Helps Heal or Clarify Estrangement 47:12 — Detoxing From Collective Drama Before Family Gatherings 50:47 — Teaching Kids Responsibility for Their Own Feelings 53:26 — Grieving the Child Who Is Growing Up 1:00:55 — How to Know If Estrangement Was the Right Choice Connect with Victoria: Website: https://theunleashedheart.com/ [https://theunleashedheart.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoriavolk/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoriavolk/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theunleashedheartllc/ [https://www.facebook.com/theunleashedheartllc/] GRM Website: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/victoria-volk [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/victoria-volk] About the Host:  Cole James, President of the Grief Recovery Institute, shares about the Power of Grief Recovery! Cole is dedicating his life to help people with grief. Now, grief is much more than just losing someone. Did you know that? You've probably heard of the Five Stages of Grief, right? Well, this goes much deeper than you think. Let me explain. Everyone has some type of grief in their lives, some haven't yet, but it's part of life. We can't escape it, BUT we can work through it. And you don't have to do it alone. Let's talk about it. We have trained Grief Recovery Method Specialists, who help heartbroken people, in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, the Middle East, Central America, South America, and North America. The Grief Recovery Method Certification Program is taught and available in multiple languages including: English, Spanish, Swedish, Hungarian, Ukrainian, and Russian. Our home office is in the United States and serves English-speaking nations and populations around the world, such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and the Commonwealth Nations. In addition, we have international affiliate offices in Sweden, Australia, Mexico, and Hungary. Our goal is to help as many people as possible, which is why our books have been translated into over 30 languages including: Spanish, French, Dutch, Portuguese, Japanese, Ukrainian, Russian, and many more. For more information visit: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/ [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/]

044: Men & Grief Recovery: The Real Reason Men Avoid Grief (And The Tool That Changes Everything) feat. Jorge Ruiz

In this episode of the Feel Free Again Podcast, I sit down with healing and empowerment coach Jorge Ruiz to talk about something men desperately need, but rarely reach for: grief recovery. We dig into why men often avoid emotional healing, why “I’m fine” becomes a lifestyle, and how unprocessed loss doesn’t just hurt your feelings, it quietly anchors your identity to your past and shapes how you react in the present and fear the future. Jorge shares powerful stories from working with foster youth, people coming out of prison, and men who’ve learned to survive by numbing instead of processing. We talk identity labels like “addict” or “prisoner,” and how the Grief Recovery Method can help you finally separate who you are from what happened to you. We also go deep on men’s isolation, the suicide reality, and the warrior/protector paradox: real strength isn’t pretending you feel nothing—it’s learning how to feel without being ruled by it. If you’ve ever felt stuck, reactive, ashamed, disconnected, or like peace always sits just one achievement away… this conversation is for you. I also share how grief recovery impacts marriage and fatherhood, and Jorge breaks down his FOCUS framework (Faith Overcomes Challenges Unleashes Success) plus why none of this works well until the heart gets healed first. If you know a man who needs this, please share it. It might be the conversation that helps him finally start healing. ⏱️ Chapters: 00:00 — Why Feeling “Stuck” Happens to Strong People 05:54 — Meet Ezra Stanton: The Cost of Staying in Quicksand 11:48 — The Hidden Patterns That Keep Men Stalled 17:42 — How to Tell If You’re Numb vs. Actually “Okay” 23:36 — The Moment You Realize It’s Not Just Stress 29:30 — The Lie of Self-Sufficiency (And Why It Backfires) 35:24 — Naming the Real Problem Without Shame 41:18 — The Inner Story Driving Your Outer Life 47:12 — Why Willpower Fails (Even for Disciplined Men) 53:06 — Rebuilding Clarity When You Can’t Trust Your Feelings 59:00 — The Emotional Weight You Didn’t Know You Were Carrying 01:04:54 — What Healing Actually Looks Like in Real Life 01:10:48 — Breaking the Cycle: Triggers, Reactions, and Repair 01:16:42 — Identity: Who You Become After Loss and Change 01:22:36 — Relationships Under Pressure: How Men Pull Away 01:28:30 — The Turning Point: Doing the Work That Works 01:34:24 — Practical Tools to Get Unstuck This Week 01:40:18 — What Freedom Feels Like (And Why It’s Quiet at First) 01:46:12 — The Long Game: Staying Free, Not Just Getting Free 01:52:08 — Final Charge: The Next Step for Men Ready to Move Connect With Jorge: Email: jorgeruiz@focusimaginelife.com [jorgeruiz@focusimaginelife.com] Website: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/jorge-ruiz [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/jorge-ruiz] Cole James, President of the Grief Recovery Institute, shares about the Power of Grief Recovery! Cole is dedicating his life to help people with grief. Now, grief is much more than just losing someone. Did you know that? You've probably heard of the Five Stages of Grief, right? Well, this goes much deeper than you think. Let me explain. Everyone has some type of grief in their lives, some haven't yet, but it's part of life. We can't escape it, BUT we can work through it. And you don't have to do it alone. Let's talk about it. We have trained Grief Recovery Method Specialists, who help heartbroken people, in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, the Middle East, Central America, South America, and North America. The Grief Recovery Method Certification Program is taught and available in multiple languages including: English, Spanish, Swedish, Hungarian, Ukrainian, and Russian. Our home office is in the United States and serves English-speaking nations and populations around the world, such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and the Commonwealth Nations. In addition, we have international affiliate offices in Sweden, Australia, Mexico, and Hungary. Our goal is to help as many people as possible, which is why our books have been translated into over 30 languages including: Spanish, French, Dutch, Portuguese, Japanese, Ukrainian, Russian, and many more. For more information visit: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/ [https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/]