In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)

55 min · 4 de jun de 2026
Portada del episodio The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)

Descripción

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Tara Michaela for a nuanced conversation about the ethics of public sex, public play, PDA, kink visibility, consent, social norms, and why society struggles to define where the line actually is. Together they unpack whether public sexuality is inherently unethical, why people are drawn to public play and exhibitionism, the role of novelty and desire, and how context changes our perception of what's acceptable. They explore everything from making out in public, wearable vibrators, public bathrooms, sex in cars, beach hookups, PDA at parties, BDSM at Pride, leash dynamics in public spaces, sex-positive parenting, children witnessing nontraditional expressions of sexuality, consent education, sex negativity, and the difference between legality and ethics. They also discuss whether bystanders can truly consent to what they encounter in public, how social norms shape our reactions to sexuality, why people react so strongly online, how consent is often taught as a black-and-white concept despite living in gray areas, and why intent and impact both matter in conversations about consent violations. Topics discussed: • public sex vs. public play • PDA, making out, and cultural attitudes toward affection • Why public play is exciting and appealing • Novelty, desire, exhibitionism, and fantasy fulfillment • Wearable vibrators and remote-control sex toys in public • The ethics of public sexual behavior • Consent and uninvolved bystanders • Social norms versus personal freedom • The difference between legality and morality • Being the "naked neighbor" and visibility at home • BDSM visibility in public spaces • Kink at Pride and public kink discourse • Walking a submissive on a leash in public • Public conversations about sex and sexual experiences • Elevator conversations, social etiquette, and discomfort • Consent education and its limitations • Intent versus impact in consent violations • Ethical gray areas in sexuality • Sex on the beach and secluded public spaces • Sex in cars and privacy expectations • Public bathrooms and ethical considerations • PDA at parties, raves, and social gatherings • Exhibitionism and safer alternatives • Sex parties and kink events as consensual spaces • Online outrage and reactions to sexual content • How sexuality can challenge and change social norms Follow Tara: Instagram: @yourexgirlfriendtara [https://www.instagram.com/yourexgirlfriendtara/] Follow Alexa Andre: Instagram: @sexwithalexa [https://www.instagram.com/sexwithalexa/] Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa [https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa] Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2624-alexa [https://5ae06f57-73d3-4314-974d-0bc34569e2bc.pipedrive.email/c/zyrnq8mqz4/j4n52p6e54/nkdzvlw04w/4?redirectUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fbeduc.at%2Fpd2624-alexa&hash=i4G9v6AzYlbVVccgxI6No8OxANgP38gXD1eH4GCiL-I]

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109 episodios

Portada del episodio The Conversation About Porn We're Too Afraid to Have (ft. Noelle Perdue)

The Conversation About Porn We're Too Afraid to Have (ft. Noelle Perdue)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with porn historian, writer, and adult industry expert Noelle Perdue for a fascinating conversation about pornography, fantasy, sexuality, kink, technology, trauma, aging, relationships, and the hidden ways porn shapes our world. Noelle shares her unlikely journey from software developer to porn scriptwriter, her work with Pornhub and the adult industry, and why she believes pornography is one of the most misunderstood cultural forces of our time. Together, Alexa and Noelle unpack the relationship between porn and real-life sexuality, whether porn influences behavior, the myths surrounding porn addiction, the role of fantasy, kink exploration, sex education, censorship, free speech, technology, consent, and how pornography impacts legislation, culture, and online platforms. The conversation also explores giantess fetishism, size kink culture, porn parodies, queer sexuality, healing after sexual trauma, alternative forms of intimacy, body image, aging, MILF culture, hookup communication, sex work, human trafficking misconceptions, and why people are often far more sexually diverse than they realize. Whether you're curious about porn's role in society, interested in sexual exploration, or simply want a deeper understanding of human desire, this episode offers an honest, nuanced, and thought-provoking perspective. Topics discussed: • How Noelle became a porn historian• Leaving tech to write porn scripts• Writing porn parodies for major studios• Working with Brazzers and Pornhub• Pornography's influence on technology and culture• Section 230 explained• FOSTA-SESTA and online censorship• Sex work vs. human trafficking• Porn and free speech debates• Does porn affect relationships?• Porn addiction and dependency myths• Porn as a tool for exploration• Why porn should not replace sex education• Fantasy vs. reality in sexual desire• The dangers of using porn as sex ed• Giantess fetish and SizeCon• Expansion fetishes and breast expansion• Vore and consumption fantasies• Alternative forms of intimacy• Expansive definitions of sex• Communicating desires with partners• Casual sex and queer relationship dynamics• Why sexual communication matters• The popularity of MILF content• Body diversity in porn• Criticisms of pornography• The "teen" category debate• Pornography as a reflection of culture• Sexual violence and porn studies• Gooning culture explained Follow Noelle:Instagram: @all_day_breakfast_ [https://www.instagram.com/all_day_breakfast_/] Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa [https://www.instagram.com/sexwithalexa/] Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa [https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa]

11 de jun de 202656 min
Portada del episodio The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)

The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Tara Michaela for a nuanced conversation about the ethics of public sex, public play, PDA, kink visibility, consent, social norms, and why society struggles to define where the line actually is. Together they unpack whether public sexuality is inherently unethical, why people are drawn to public play and exhibitionism, the role of novelty and desire, and how context changes our perception of what's acceptable. They explore everything from making out in public, wearable vibrators, public bathrooms, sex in cars, beach hookups, PDA at parties, BDSM at Pride, leash dynamics in public spaces, sex-positive parenting, children witnessing nontraditional expressions of sexuality, consent education, sex negativity, and the difference between legality and ethics. They also discuss whether bystanders can truly consent to what they encounter in public, how social norms shape our reactions to sexuality, why people react so strongly online, how consent is often taught as a black-and-white concept despite living in gray areas, and why intent and impact both matter in conversations about consent violations. Topics discussed: • public sex vs. public play • PDA, making out, and cultural attitudes toward affection • Why public play is exciting and appealing • Novelty, desire, exhibitionism, and fantasy fulfillment • Wearable vibrators and remote-control sex toys in public • The ethics of public sexual behavior • Consent and uninvolved bystanders • Social norms versus personal freedom • The difference between legality and morality • Being the "naked neighbor" and visibility at home • BDSM visibility in public spaces • Kink at Pride and public kink discourse • Walking a submissive on a leash in public • Public conversations about sex and sexual experiences • Elevator conversations, social etiquette, and discomfort • Consent education and its limitations • Intent versus impact in consent violations • Ethical gray areas in sexuality • Sex on the beach and secluded public spaces • Sex in cars and privacy expectations • Public bathrooms and ethical considerations • PDA at parties, raves, and social gatherings • Exhibitionism and safer alternatives • Sex parties and kink events as consensual spaces • Online outrage and reactions to sexual content • How sexuality can challenge and change social norms Follow Tara: Instagram: @yourexgirlfriendtara [https://www.instagram.com/yourexgirlfriendtara/] Follow Alexa Andre: Instagram: @sexwithalexa [https://www.instagram.com/sexwithalexa/] Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa [https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa] Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2624-alexa [https://5ae06f57-73d3-4314-974d-0bc34569e2bc.pipedrive.email/c/zyrnq8mqz4/j4n52p6e54/nkdzvlw04w/4?redirectUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fbeduc.at%2Fpd2624-alexa&hash=i4G9v6AzYlbVVccgxI6No8OxANgP38gXD1eH4GCiL-I]

4 de jun de 202655 min
Portada del episodio Her Nudes Were Leaked. Now She Helps Victims Get Justice (ft. Norma Buster)

Her Nudes Were Leaked. Now She Helps Victims Get Justice (ft. Norma Buster)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Norma Buster, sex positive victims rights advocate, Chief of Staff at CA Goldberg Law, survivor of image-based abuse, and online sex worker, for a raw and nuanced conversation about stalking, leaked intimate images, deepfake abuse, consent, shame, sexuality, healing, OnlyFans, bisexuality, and reclaiming agency after trauma. Topics Covered: * Norma Buster’s experience with stalking and image-based abuse * Why “revenge porn” is an inaccurate and harmful term * The evolution of image-based sexual abuse laws * Victim blaming from judges, police, and society * Trauma, shame, and psychological impact after leaked intimate images * CA Goldberg Law and victims rights advocacy * The federal Take It Down Act * Why intent-to-harm clauses make prosecutions harder * Free speech debates surrounding image-based abuse laws * AI deepfakes and nudifying apps * Deepfake abuse affecting women, minors, and students * Consent, impact vs intent, and digital privacy * Supporting friends through stalking or abuse * Victim vs survivor terminology and trauma identity * Purity culture and sexual shame * Bisexual awakening during the pandemic * Dating couples and exploring non-monogamy * Threesomes and alternative relationship dynamics * Healing through sexuality and sex positivity * Starting an OnlyFans after surviving image-based abuse * Sex work stigma and online identity * Reclaiming agency and personal autonomy * Advice for survivors struggling with shame and harassment Follow Norma Buster:Instagram: @normabuster_ [https://www.instagram.com/normabuster_/]CA Goldberg Law: cagoldberglaw.com [http://cagoldberglaw.com] Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa [https://www.instagram.com/sexwithalexa/] Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa [https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa] Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa [https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa]

21 de may de 202657 min
Portada del episodio Inside a Real Open Marriage: Hiring Sex Workers, Outsourcing Anal & Adding Novelty (ft. Kate Shelor)

Inside a Real Open Marriage: Hiring Sex Workers, Outsourcing Anal & Adding Novelty (ft. Kate Shelor)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa [https://www.instagram.com/sexwithalexa/]) gets in bed with hypnotherapist, content creator, and non-monogamy advocate Kate Shelor [https://www.instagram.com/kateshelor/] for an unfiltered conversation about open relationships, outsourcing fantasies, emotional labor in swinging, and the surprising ways long-term couples keep intimacy exciting. Kate opens up about why she rarely dates outside her marriage despite being ethically non-monogamous, how hiring sex workers simplified their relationship dynamic, and the realities of jealousy, chemistry, group play, and sexual compatibility. They also dive into anal sex, fantasies, OnlyFans attention, emotional burnout, aging, confidence, kink exploration, and the difference between fantasy and real-life sex. Topics covered: * Ethical non-monogamy & swinging * Why Kate rarely wants other partners * Being a sex educator while dating * Being intimidating or “unapproachable” * Emotional labor in open relationships * Using escorts and sex workers as a couple * Negotiating fantasies and boundaries * Why paying for sex can be simpler than dating * Outsourcing anal and mismatched sexual interests * Jealousy, communication, and trust in marriage * Male vs female sex workers * Exploring kinks safely * Why group sex stopped being exciting * Realistic female orgasms vs porn fantasy * Aging, hormones, and changing libido * OnlyFans, validation, and sexual attention online * Keeping long-term relationships exciting * Matching underwear subscriptions * Cruise playrooms and glory hole adventures * Novelty, intimacy, and maintaining attraction

14 de may de 202659 min
Portada del episodio Catch-Up Episode: From Sex Cruises to Serious Dating (solo ep.)

Catch-Up Episode: From Sex Cruises to Serious Dating (solo ep.)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa [https://www.instagram.com/sexwithalexa/]) gets in bed with… herself for a raw, unfiltered solo episode catching you up on everything from life on a Temptation Cruise to her evolving dating standards, sexual boundaries, and relationship mindset. Alexa shares what it’s like attending a Temptation/Desire-style cruise solo for the first time (people-watching couples, navigating swinger culture, and breaking down exactly how playrooms, workshops, and non-monogamous dynamics work in real life).  She dives into her personal shift away from casual sex and into intentional dating, explaining why she’s now prioritizing emotional connection, aftercare, and partners who genuinely meet her needs, especially when it comes to oral sex.  The episode explores deeper questions around monogamy vs. non-monogamy, whether one partner can meet all your needs, and how exposure to different relationship styles can expand your perspective, whether you ever practice them or not. She also shares behind-the-scenes insights into her workshops, from pussy worship to anal education, and what it’s like teaching pleasure in a fully immersive, hands-on environment. Topics Covered * Swinger cruise culture: Temptation & Desire breakdown * Playroom rules, dynamics, and etiquette * Workshops: pussy worship, anal 101, handjob techniques * Observing newbies vs experienced couples in non-monogamy * Community, connection, and friendships on lifestyle cruises * Using pleasure and joy as a form of balance in a difficult world * Transition from casual sex to intentional dating * Sexual dissatisfaction and unmet needs in casual dynamics * The importance of oral sex and prioritizing female pleasure * The orgasm gap and stimulation differences during penetration * “Real eater only” mindset and not settling sexually * Monogamy vs non-monogamy reflections * Fluid relationship identities and changing over time * Learning from different relationship structures * Expanding social circles: queer, kinky, celibate, non-monogamous perspectives * Masturbation and solo pleasure practices * Behind-the-scenes of sex workshops and teaching live experiences * STI education gaps and common fears * Orgies, private room dynamics, and cruise experiences * Community vs sex focus in lifestyle spaces * Building a career as a sex educator and coach Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa [https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa] Temptation Cruises Info [https://temptationcruises.com/upcoming-cruises/temptation-caribbean-cruise-october-2026/?affiliate=6016] Desire Cruises Info [https://desire-cruises.com/seductive-mediterranean-cruise-2026/?affiliate=6016]

7 de may de 202643 min