Solving the Wrong Problem: When Recovery Models Ignore Neurodivergence

Dismantling the Myth of "Neurotypical": A Conversation with Youth Advocate Aeris Wren

In this inspiring episode of Living With FASD, host Patti Kasper sits down with Aeris Wren, an AuDHD high school student, youth advocate, and the host of the Telos podcast. Together, they challenge the traditional "clinical" view of neurodiversity and discuss the importance of reframing our society's expectations of the human brain. This conversation highlights the necessity of moving away from a behavior-based paradigm and toward a supportive, grace-filled model that honors individual needs and "inconsistent mastery". Key Topics Covered: * The Myth of the "Neurotypical" Bell Curve: Challenging the idea that neurotypicality is the norm, and why we should instead view neurodiversity as the natural variation of the human experience. * FASD: The Elephant in the Room: A candid discussion on why Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders are often excluded from neurodiversity advocacy, the impact of stigma, and the need for better research driven by lived experience. * Self-Advocacy & Understanding Needs: Aeris shares personal insights on navigating the education system, the importance of "interest-based" activation for the ADHD brain, and how to communicate needs without feeling like an "attack" on existing structures. * Moving Past Behaviorism: Why shaming, punishing, or rewarding "behavior" fails neurodivergent youth, and how co-regulation and curiosity can help uncover the real needs beneath the surface. * The Future of Inclusion: Aeris’s vision for a world where young people have the language and resources to understand their own brains long before they reach adulthood. About My Guest: Aeris Wren Aeris Wren is a youth advocate for neurodiversity and the host of Telos: A Neurodiversity Conversation. Aeris is dedicated to making information about neurodivergence accessible and centered on lived experience. You can follow Aeris's work and listen to Telos here:  https://open.spotify.com/show/6HOp09Yy1puqkHVCXKhxfo?si=5b5bfe52ca134231 [https://open.spotify.com/show/6HOp09Yy1puqkHVCXKhxfo?si=5b5bfe52ca134231] As always, please remember to like, subscribe & share this podcast episode, because it is by doing these things that more people can find the podcast and learn about FASD. To reach Patti Kasper, perhaps to suggest topics or guests, or to ask questions, or even just to say hello, email her at livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com [livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com] . To reach Patti to explore FASD Life Coaching for yourself as an adult or as a parent of a little, or to arrange for professional development or community agency training on FASD, you can arrange for a consult at https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation [https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation] To order a copy of Patti’s book, Sip by Sip: Candid Conversations with Adults Living with FASD, visit books.by/yourfasdcoach [http://books.by/yourfasdcoach] or Amazon. (Both are print on demand at a printer near you, but books.by [http://books.by] offers its authors a few dollars more in royalties.)

Harrison’s Hope: Building a Lifespan Support System with Mary Byrnes

In this deeply personal and wide-ranging conversation, Patti is joined by Mary Byrnes, founder of Harrison’s Hope, a Canadian charity dedicated to supporting families living with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). Mary shares her "full circle" story—from navigating years of infertility and a whirlwind adoption process to discovering both her son’s and her own FASD diagnosis in adulthood. Together, they discuss the critical need for lifelong caregiver support, the power of reframing "behavior as a message," and the unique challenges of aging with a neurobehavioral disability. Key Discussion Points: * Harrison’s Hope: How a project manager’s skill set turned a personal crisis into a national Canadian charity that provides "womb to tomb" support, including caregiver groups and death doula services. * The Adult Diagnosis: Mary discusses the "ding-ding-ding" moment when she realized her own lifelong "quirks"—social awkwardness, academic success paired with social struggle, and various comorbid health conditions—were actually FASD. * Behavior as a Messenger: A breakdown of how positive emotions validate met needs, while unpleasant emotions like anger or anxiety are signals of unmet needs. * Aging with FASD: The importance of "anticipatory guides" for adults as they navigate physical health issues that often appear earlier in those with prenatal alcohol exposure. * Planning for the Future: The emotional and practical necessity of creating Formal Wills, Living Trusts, and multi-generational care plans for loved ones with FASD. * The Power of Art Therapy: Why traditional talk therapy often fails neurodivergent individuals and how modalities like art and nature walks provide a necessary emotional release. If you would like to reach Patti, you can email her at livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com [livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com]. Visit her website at www.patriciakasper.com [http://www.patriciakasper.com] to learn more about her coaching and professional development training services, or visit ttps://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation [http://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation] to schedule a complimentary call. If you would like to pick up a copy of Patti’s book, Sip by Sip: Candid Conversations with Adults Living with FASD, visit www.books.by/yourfasdcoach [http://www.books.by/yourfasdcoach] or Amazon. (Both print on demand, but due to lower overhead costs, books.by [http://books.by] is able to pay its authors a few more dollars in royalties.) As always, please like, share & subscribe to this podcast, as doing these three things will help more people discover it, and learn if FASD is also part of their journey.

Top Strategies to Manage RSD and Overthinking with Kyle Perkins

In this episode, Kyle Perkins joins Patti Kasper to explore rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) within the neurodivergent community, especially those with FASD and ADHD. They discuss personal experiences, coping strategies, the overlap of neurodiverse conditions, and practical tools to manage RSD and related challenges. key topics * Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) * Overlap of neurodivergent conditions like ADHD, FASD, autism * Strategies to manage RSD and overthinking * The importance of neurodiversity and individualized approaches takeaways * RSD causes intense emotional reactions and overanalysis. * Accountability partners can help manage spiraling thoughts. * Understanding neurodiversity shifts focus from labels to strengths. * Accepting shutdowns and focusing on small, manageable tasks reduces overwhelm. * Self-awareness and reflection are key to managing neurodiverse challenges.   You can support Kyle’s business while getting customized merchandise by visiting https://www.bigfrog.com/raleigh-north/ [https://www.bigfrog.com/raleigh-north/] If you would like to reach Patti, you can email her at livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com [livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com]. Visit her website at www.patriciakasper.com [http://www.patriciakasper.com] to learn more about her coaching and professional development training services, or visit https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation [https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation] to schedule a complimentary call. If you would like to pick up a copy of Patti’s book, Sip by Sip: Candid Conversations with Adults Living with FASD, visit www.books.by/yourfasdcoach [http://www.books.by/yourfasdcoach] or Amazon. (Both print on demand, but due to lower overhead costs, books.by [http://books.by] is able to pay its authors a few more dollars in royalties.) Please remember to like, subscribe & share, so that even more people can learn about FASD.

Solving the Wrong Problem: When Recovery Models Ignore Neurodivergence

Patti Kasper hosts Jon Baer to explore the critical intersection of neurodivergence and substance use recovery. Jon shares his journey from early childhood trauma and substance use to his later-in-life diagnosis of AuDHD, emphasizing the need for recovery models that are neurodiversity-aware. They discuss why traditional recovery systems often fail neurodivergent individuals and how a paradigm shift toward self-discovery and nervous system regulation is necessary for true healing. Jon Baer is an advocate and mentor with over 13 years of personal experience in long-term recovery.  As Director of Admissions and Community Outreach at Insight Recovery Mental Health, he works closely with individuals and families navigating mental health challenges, substance use disorders, and neurodivergence—recognizing how deeply these experiences can intersect and influence one another.  Jon brings authenticity and compassion rooted in his own lived experience, and a deep belief that healing looks different for everyone—especially for those whose brains are wired differently. His work is driven by a passion for making sure neurodivergent individuals feel seen, understood, and supported on their path toward recovery and mental wellness. * Standard Recovery Risks: Traditional recovery programs often demand neurotypical compliance, which can lead to burnout for neurodivergent individuals. * Internal Focus: True healing requires addressing internal wiring and nervous system regulation rather than relying on external strategies. * Reframing Addiction: Jon reframed his substance use struggles after his AuDHD diagnosis, identifying his addiction as a search for relief. * The FASD Epidemic: FASD is a hidden epidemic affecting roughly 1 in 12 North Americans, with significant overlap with other neurodivergent diagnoses like ASD. * Systemic Trauma: Living in a world designed for neurotypicals causes systemic trauma, often manifesting as depression and anxiety. * Inclusive Recovery: Recovery models must become inclusive of all neurotypes and prioritize self-discovery. * Insight Recovery: Jon serves as the Director of Community Outreach at Insight Recovery Treatment Center, which offers tailored treatment tracks for neurodivergent individuals. If you would like to reach Patti, you can email her at livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com [livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com]. Visit her website at www.patriciakasper.com [http://www.patriciakasper.com] to learn more about her coaching and professional development training services, or visit https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation [https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation] to schedule a complimentary call. If you would like to pick up a copy of Patti’s book, Sip by Sip: Candid Conversations with Adults Living with FASD, visit www.books.by/yourfasdcoach [http://www.books.by/yourfasdcoach] or Amazon. (Both print on demand, but due to lower overhead costs, books.by [http://books.by] is able to pay its authors a few more dollars in royalties.) Please remember to like, subscribe & share, so that even more people can learn about FASD.

FASD & Masking with Alice Foote

In this episode, Patti Kasper sits down with Alice Foote, an FASD advocate from the UK who is currently vacationing in the United States. Alice shares her unique journey of being diagnosed at birth but not learning of her condition until age 16. They discuss the challenges of "masking," the necessity of rigid routines, and the physical symptoms of fetal alcohol spectrum disorders that often go overlooked by medical professionals. Key Discussion Points * The "Late" Realization: Although diagnosed at birth, Alice was raised as a neurotypical person until her grandmother explained her struggles with concentration at age 16. * The Power of Routine: Alice describes how structure is vital to her daily life, from her specific morning coffee ritual and airplane-mode work habits to maintaining the same breakfast table and time even while on vacation. * Masking and Authenticity: Alice talks about the exhausting nature of "masking" to appear normal and her recent decision to let her true personality show more, including her impulsive excitement for things like meeting a Minion at Universal Studios. * Workplace Advocacy: In the UK, while FASD itself isn't under the Equality Act, its symptoms are. Alice shares how she worked with HR to implement infographics and clear communication strategies to help her succeed in a call center environment. * Physical Symptoms & Medical Ignorance: Alice and Patti discuss how FASD is a "whole-body diagnosis". Alice shares her experiences with physical issues, such as losing feeling in her legs, and the frustration of having to educate her own doctors about her condition. * The "Invisible" Disability: Alice emphasizes that just because someone "looks normal" or can drive a car doesn't mean they aren't fighting a "whole different continent" internally. If you would like to reach Patti, you can email her at livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com [livingwithfasdpodcast@gmail.com]. Visit her website at www.patriciakasper.com [http://www.patriciakasper.com] to learn more about her coaching and professional development training services, or visit https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation [https://calendly.com/kaspertrainingandcoaching/consultation] to schedule a complimentary call. If you would like to pick up a copy of Patti’s book, Sip by Sip: Candid Conversations with Adults Living with FASD, visit www.books.by/yourfasdcoach [http://www.books.by/yourfasdcoach] or Amazon. (Both print on demand, but due to lower overhead costs, books.by [http://books.by] is able to pay its authors a few more dollars in royalties.) Please remember to like, subscribe & share, so that even more people can learn about FASD.