S2 E01 – Building a Personal Operating System After Divorce

S2 E01 – Building a Personal Operating System After Divorce

The problem isn’t motivation. It’s not laziness. It’s not that you don’t know what to do. It’s that the system that used to tell you what to do: what mattered, what a good week looked like, what “success” even meant — is gone. In this episode, Mashav opens Season 2 by naming what’s actually underneath that feeling of being busy but going nowhere. She introduces the Personal Operating System (POS): a four-layer framework for women who are past the crisis phase of divorce and trying to figure out what to actually build, and delivers the one tool you can start using tomorrow morning. Topics Covered * Why busyness without traction isn’t a motivation problem — it’s a structural one * What your marriage was actually providing (that had nothing to do with your partner) * The invisible infrastructure that disappears when a shared life ends * The Personal Operating System: four layers that replace what you lost * Layer 1 — Values as a decision filter (not the inspirational word-on-a-mug kind) * Layer 2 — Priorities: the 1–3 things that actually move your life forward right now * Layer 3 — Weekly rhythm: not a schedule, a shape * Layer 4 — Daily orientation: the 2-minute morning check-in that changes everything * The 3-question daily check — write these down * Why “good enough” is a skill, not a compromise Resources Mentioned From Panic to Power [https://www.hello-new-me.com/panic-to-power] — Your monthly survival number, a clear financial snapshot, and a concrete next step in 15 minutes. For women navigating divorce or separation. The One Thing - a book by Gary Keller [https://amzn.to/4uPVhCw] (affiliate link) 💌 Stay Connected 🗞 New Me Weekly [https://newmeweekly.substack.com/welcome] — Stay connected with reflections, stories, and rebuild tools Instagram: @hellonewme.official [https://instagram.com/hellonewme.official] TikTok: @hellonew.me [https://tiktok.com/@hellonew.me] YouTube: Hello New Me Channel [https://youtube.com/@hellonewme] Chapters: 00:00 Busy But Behind00:50 Podcast Mission01:47 Life Without The Old System03:44 Build Your Operating System04:14 Four Layers Explained06:05 Daily Check In07:10 Three Morning Questions08:59 Try It This Week10:20 Next Episode Money Panic10:50 Wrap Up This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit newmeweekly.substack.com [https://newmeweekly.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

11 - I Made $100K and Still Don't Have the Answer

The most common financial question women ask after divorce isn’t about budgeting. It’s this: how do I actually support myself now? In this episode, Mashav gets honest about the income question she gets asked more than almost any other, and why she can’t give a simple answer. Four years after her own separation, her income situation still isn’t “fixed”. And she thinks the advice most women get about earning more is missing the real problem entirely. What she shares instead: what she got wrong in her own post-divorce income panic, how she accidentally stumbled into an income stream that changed everything, and what she thinks is actually blocking most women from earning what they’re capable of. This episode won’t give you a five-step income plan. It will change how you think about the question. Topics Covered * Why the income question is really a fear question * The moves women make from panic, and why they backfire * Why Mashav lasted only three days in a restaurant office job * The identity she had to grieve before anything could open up * How she stumbled onto an income stream by following curiosity * From pennies to $100K * What the book “How to Overcome Underearning” reframed for her * Why the income path probably won’t come from sitting down and figuring it out * What’s coming next: a framework built specifically for women in this transition Resources Mentioned From Panic to Power [LINK] Your monthly survival number, a clear financial snapshot, and a concrete next step in 15 minutes. For women navigating divorce or separation. Overcoming Underearning [https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Underearning-Five-Step-Plan-Richer/dp/006081862X] by Barbara Stanny: A Five-Step Plan to a Richer Life (watch my VIDEO review) [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wIXGwUgl3Pc] 💌 Stay Connected * 🗞 New Me Weekly [https://newmeweekly.substack.com/subscribe]: Stay connected with reflections, stories, and rebuild tools * Instagram: @hellonewme.official [https://www.instagram.com/hellonewme.official/] * TikTok: @hellonew.me [https://www.tiktok.com/@hellonew.me] * YouTube: Hello New Me Channel [https://www.youtube.com/@hellonewme-official] Chapters: 00:00 Welcome Back Update 01:20 Divorce Money Panic 01:54 Job Hunt Reality Check 03:07 Money Means Stability 04:13 Stop Forcing Solutions 05:00 Letting Go of Chef Identity 06:12 Accidental Amazon Breakthrough 07:54 Luck, Timing, and Skills 10:40 Orientation Phase Takeaway This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit newmeweekly.substack.com [https://newmeweekly.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

10 - Don't Start Clipping Coupons

After divorce, money becomes very real, very fast. But the instinct many women have to try to save as much as possible, cut everything, optimize everything. Is it really the right move? You’re not just managing money anymore.You’re managing time, energy, stress, and a life that’s already in transition. In this episode, Mashav breaks down a different way to think about cost-cutting after divorce, one that actually works in real life. Instead of asking “How do I save the most?”, she introduces a more useful question:“What is actually worth saving?” You’ll learn how to evaluate expenses based on real return on investment, across three currencies: money, time, and energy, and how to stop wasting effort on low-impact decisions that drain you. The goal is not to become frugal; it’s to have an intentional strategy. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, restricted, or stuck in financial anxiety… this episode will help you create space, not just savings. Topics Covered: * The three currencies you’re actually managing * How to evaluate whether a cost-cutting decision is worth it * The difference between high-ROI savings vs exhausting micro-optimizations * The biggest financial levers * The power of secondhand and community-based resources * Adjusting beauty, lifestyle, and personal care without losing yourself * Why therapy is not a luxury expense * Legal fees: how to think about it differently * Hidden financial leaks * The “one indulgence” principle and why it matters * What’s worth doing yourself vs what’s worth paying for Resources Mentioned: “From Panic to Power” — Post-Divorce Financial Checklist [https://www.hello-new-me.com/panic-to-power]A step-by-step guide with a bare minimum calculator, financial snapshot, and 23 key actions to help you stabilize and rebuild your finances after separation 💌 Stay Connected * 🗞 New Me Weekly [https://newmeweekly.substack.com/subscribe]:Stay connected with reflections, stories, and rebuild tools * Instagram: @hellonewme.official [https://www.instagram.com/hellonewme.official/] * TikTok: @hellonew.me [https://www.tiktok.com/@hellonew.me] * YouTube: Hello New Me Channel [https://www.youtube.com/@hellonewme-official] Chapters: 00:04 Introduction02:28 The Real Goal of Cost-Cutting03:02 The Three Currencies03:51 The ROI Test for Saving Money05:19 Big Structural Expenses06:58 Food Systems That Work08:08 Secondhand & Community Resources11:21 Beauty & Lifestyle Adjustments14:12 Therapy as a Smart Investment15:26 Legal Fees & Costly Mistakes16:49 Hidden Subscription Leaks18:20 The One Indulgence Principle20:12 Stop Over-Optimizing Small Things21:17 What to DIY vs What to Pay For22:44 Financial Baseline & Checklist23:22 Recap24:49 Final Thoughts This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit newmeweekly.substack.com [https://newmeweekly.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

09: When You’re Still Married… But Something Inside You Is Done

There’s a moment before divorce that no one really talks about. You’re still in the marriage. Nothing has officially changed.But something inside you has. You keep circling the same question:“Am I actually going to have to end this?” And just as quickly, you shut it down:“It’s not that bad. Other people have it worse. Maybe I’m overreacting.” In this episode, Mashav explores what she calls Stage 0 — the stage before separation, where you’re living your normal life on the outside, but internally questioning everything. You won’t be told whether you should stay or leave.This episode will help you see your situation clearly, without minimising, spiralling, or rushing into a decision you’re not ready for. You’ll walk through the real questions most women avoid asking themselves, about love, fear, resentment, self-worth, and the life you’re imagining on the other side. If you’ve been going back and forth in your head, feeling stuck, confused, or alone in this decision… this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Topics Covered * What “Stage 0” of divorce actually is * Why this stage feels so lonely and confusing * The trap of “for better or for worse” * Why “Do I have a good enough reason to leave?” is the wrong question * The better question: Do I have a good enough reason to stay? * Emotional patterns that signal deeper disconnection * The difference between staying from love vs staying from fear * The 10–20 year thought experiment * The Four Horsemen * “Staying for the kids.” * The sunk cost trap and why it keeps you stuck * When it’s actually wise to slow down instead of rushing * Listening to your body as a source of truth * What to do if you’re not ready to leave yet (Stage 0.5) Resources Mentioned “Is It Time to End Your Marriage?” FREE Guide [https://mashavshelef.gumroad.com/l/kqfxzo]A reflection-based guide with prompts from this episode to help you think through your situation without overwhelm 💌 Stay Connected * 🗞 New Me Weekly [https://newmeweekly.substack.com/subscribe]:Stay connected with reflections, stories, and rebuild tools * Instagram: @hellonewme.official [https://www.instagram.com/hellonewme.official/] * TikTok: @hellonew.me [https://www.tiktok.com/@hellonew.me] * YouTube: Hello New Me Channel [https://www.youtube.com/@hellonewme-official] Chapters: 00:47 Welcome to Stage Zero02:18 What Stage Zero Feels Like03:53 Rethinking the Vows05:33 Bad Enough?07:34 The Emotional Labor09:36 If Fear Was Gone11:03 Future Letter Test12:19 Gottman’s Four Horsemen14:22 “Staying for the Kids”16:31 Sunk Cost Trap18:13 When to Slow Down20:05 Notice Body Signals20:57 Stage 0.5 22:27 Closing Check In This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit newmeweekly.substack.com [https://newmeweekly.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode 8 - How to Better Survive the Four Stages of Divorce

After separation or divorce, it can feel like you’re supposed to “move on” in a straight line: make the decision, sign the papers, rebuild, thrive. In reality, most women move through a series of overlapping stages: emotionally, practically, and even neurologically. In this episode, I introduce my four-stage model of divorce recovery (plus a Stage 0 before anything is official). Through a clear, stage-by-stage framework, this episode helps you: * Recognize which stage you’re actually in * Understand what your nervous system is trying to do in each phase * Stop demanding long-term clarity from yourself when you’re still in short-term survival * See what kind of support and focus is most realistic for this stage, not trying to tackle all at once Chapters: 00:00 Divorce Is Not a Movie00:39 Four Stages Overview02:56 Stage Zero The Limbo04:49 Stage One Crisis Mode07:24 Stage Two Transition10:41 Stage Three Recovery13:23 Stage Four Renewal16:12 Decision Fatigue Reality17:01 Find Your Stage Next Steps Resources Mentioned Stage 1: Crisis 📘 From Panic to Power [https://www.hello-new-me.com/panic-to-power] - Financial ChecklistA step-by-step guide to rebuild safety, clarity, and confidence with money Stage 2: Transition 🗞 New Me Weekly [https://newmeweekly.substack.com/subscribe]:Stay connected with reflections, stories, and rebuild tools Stage 3: Recovery 📘 Build Your Compass [https://www.hello-new-me.com/compass](Free Core Values Exercise)A 5-minute exercise to identify your top core values and use them as a foundation for decision-making. Stage 4: Renewal 🪞 15-Day Self-Guided Roadmap Building Tool [https://www.hello-new-me.com/links]A structure for designing a bolder, more intentional life in just 5 minutes a day. 💌 Stay Connected * Instagram: @hellonewme.official [https://www.instagram.com/hellonewme.official/] * TikTok: @hellonew.me [https://www.tiktok.com/@hellonew.me] * YouTube: Hello New Me Channel [https://www.youtube.com/@hellonewme-official] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit newmeweekly.substack.com [https://newmeweekly.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]