How to Fight Right: The DBT Skill That Protects Your Self-Respect

How to Fight Right: The DBT Skill That Protects Your Self-Respect

Have you ever walked away from an argument feeling like you lost a piece of yourself? Maybe you got your point across, maybe the other person apologized, but afterward you felt exhausted, ashamed, or wondered why you overexplained, people-pleased, or abandoned your own needs just to keep the peace. In this episode, we're diving into one of my favorite Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills: FAST—an interpersonal effectiveness skill designed to help you protect your self-respect during conflict. You'll learn why healthy relationships aren't about avoiding conflict—they're about handling conflict without sacrificing your values, your voice, or your sense of self. 00:00 How to Stop Losing Yourself During Conflict 01:18 Building Self-Trust with DBT Skills 02:37 Why Trauma Makes Conflict Feel So Difficult 05:06 DBT FAST Skill Explained: Protect Your Self-Respect 07:36 Stop People Pleasing & Self-Abandonment 09:41 How to Respond When Someone Is Dismissive or Pulls Away 10:58 Using the DBT FAST Skill During a Breakup 12:11 Build Self-Trust Through Self-Respect & Healthy Boundaries * What the DBT FAST skill is and how it works * Why self-abandonment is often more painful than conflict itself * How childhood trauma, attachment wounds, and people-pleasing shape the way we communicate * The difference between accountability and self-erasure * How to stay true to your values during difficult conversations * Real-life examples of using FAST when someone dismisses your feelings, pulls away emotionally, or during a breakup * Why self-trust is built by consistently choosing self-loyalty instead of self-abandonment If you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, anxious attachment, CPTSD, emotional neglect, boundary-setting, or healthy communication, this episode will give you practical, evidence-based tools you can start using today. This is the fourth and final episode in my Self-Trust Reset series, where we've explored: * Wise Mind * Why trauma can make intuition feel unreliable * How to tell the difference between anxiety and red flags * DEAR MAN for asking for what you need * FAST for protecting your self-respect during conflict 🎁 Free Resource: Stop Second Guessing Yourself in Relationships and Download my free "Anxiety or Red Flag? Self-Trust Guide" 👉 https://www.therapykay.com/freebie [https://www.therapyk.com/freebie] If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow the podcast and share it with someone who's learning how to build healthier relationships, stronger boundaries, and lasting self-trust. Keywords: DBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, DBT FAST Skill, interpersonal effectiveness, healthy conflict, communication skills, healthy relationships, self-respect, self-trust, people pleasing, boundaries, conflict resolution, anxious attachment, CPTSD, childhood trauma, emotional regulation, therapy, mental health.

PMDD Explained: The Hidden Hormone Disorder Affecting Millions of Women

PMDD Explained: The Hidden Hormone Disorder Affecting Millions of Women #pmdd #pms #womenshealth #adhd #relationship #dating #traumahealing #mentalhealth #reaction Could your hormones be affecting your mental health more than you realize?Millions of women struggle with severe mood changes, anxiety, depression, and emotional overwhelm every month without realizing they may be experiencing Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). In this episode, I sit down with Val to discuss the signs of PMDD, how it differs from PMS, why so many women go undiagnosed, and practical ways to better understand your cycle.Download my free Anxiety or Red Flag Guide:https://www.therapykay.com/freebieEnjoy organic period care with Rif Care and get your discount using code: BLONDE www.rifcare.com We also dive into the importance of cycle tracking, toxin-free period products, ADHD and hormonal fluctuations, nutrition, supplements, and how understanding your hormones can completely change the way you care for your mental health.If you've ever felt like a completely different person before your period, this conversation may help you finally understand why.In this episode you'll learn:• The difference between PMS and PMDD• Common PMDD symptoms that are often overlooked• Why hormones can dramatically affect anxiety and depression• How ADHD and hormonal changes interact• The benefits of tracking your menstrual cycle• How nutrition and supplements can support hormone health• What to know about toxin-free period products• Practical strategies for managing PMDD symptomsResourcesThe Monarch Manualhttps://rifcare.comConnect with ValInstagram@rifcare @malibumama__ TikTok@rifcare  @malibumama__  [https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCCl4b1BOb3wTkKGxtDWiWPQ] If this episode helped you, please like this video, subscribe to the channel, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.Download my free Anxiety or Red Flag Guide:https://www.therapykay.com/freebieTimestamps00:00 Introduction00:00 PMDD vs PMS: What's the Difference?02:41 PMDD Symptoms That Can Affect Your Relationships04:26 Signs of PMDD You Shouldn't Ignore06:14 How Hormones Affect Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD09:18 Foods, Supplements, and Lifestyle Changes for PMDD13:25 Are Your Period Products Disrupting Your Hormones?16:28 How to Track Your Cycle for Better Hormone Health19:12 Why PMDD Is Often Misdiagnosed22:04 PMDD Treatment Resources and Support31:46 RifCare Products, Discount Code, and ClosingRelevant Search TermsPMDD, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, women's mental health, hormones and anxiety, hormones and depression, ADHD in women, menstrual cycle, hormone health, cycle tracking, PMS vs PMDD, women's wellness, period health, toxin-free period products, mental health podcast

How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight | DBT DEAR MAN

How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight | DBT DEAR MANWhy do so many conversations turn into arguments, even when your intentions are good? Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "That's not what I meant," or "Why do I always feel so misunderstood?" If so, you're not alone. DBT Self Reset Series Part 3: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/XYJdjRgbA4b [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/XYJdjRgbA4b] Part 2: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/3809vSgbA4b [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/3809vSgbA4b] Part 1: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/CO7IUTgbA4b [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/CO7IUTgbA4b] START HERE - INTRO: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/NTJaVUgbA4b [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/NTJaVUgbA4b] In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, I break down one of the most effective communication skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DEAR MAN. This evidence-based communication framework teaches you how to ask for what you need, set healthy boundaries, communicate with confidence, reduce defensiveness, and maintain self-respect—even during difficult conversations. Whether you're navigating conflict with a romantic partner, family member, friend, or coworker, DEAR MAN provides a practical roadmap for communicating clearly without blame, mind-reading, or people-pleasing. In this episode, we discuss: • What the DBT DEAR MAN skill is and why it works • How to communicate using facts instead of assumptions • The difference between expressing emotions and making accusations • How to ask for what you need without guilt or fear • Why defensiveness damages relationships • How to stay calm during emotionally charged conversations • Building confidence through assertive communication • Creating healthier relationships through boundaries and emotional regulation If you've struggled with anxiety, people-pleasing, conflict, emotional overwhelm, or feeling unheard, this episode will give you a practical communication tool you can start using immediately. Download my free Anxiety or Red Flag? Guide: https://www.therapykay.com/freebie Connect with me: Instagram: @itstherapykay @notsodumbblonde_pod Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@therapykay [https://www.youtube.com/@therapyk] Resources Mentioned: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) https://behavioraltech.org/what-is-dbt/ [https://behavioraltech.org/what-is-dbt/] Chapters 00:00 Why Healthy Communication Feels So Difficult 02:41 DEAR MAN: The DBT Communication Skill Explained 05:35 How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight 08:21 The Biggest Communication Mistakes That Damage Relationships 12:18 Building Confidence Through Assertive Communication 13:52 Download the Free Anxiety or Red Flag Guide If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone who could benefit from healthier communication skills.

From Exotic Dancer to Hollywood: Why Performing for Others Nearly Cost Me Myself

From Exotic Dancer to Hollywood: Why Performing for Others Nearly Cost Me Myself #demisexual #queerawakening #hollywood #sexuality #relationships #traumahealing #authenticity #lifetimemovies2025newrelease What happens when a woman follows the most unconventional path imaginable?Anxiety vs Red Flag Self Trust Guide Freebie - www.therapykay.com/freebieIn this episode of **Not So Dumb Blonde Podcast**, I sit down with **Tessa Scott**, a Hollywood screenwriter, television writer, actress, and creator behind the hit *Single Black Female* Lifetime movie trilogy, to talk about her extraordinary journey from serving in the U.S. Navy to working as an exotic dancer before building a successful career in Hollywood.Tessa shares the realities of life inside the strip club, why exotic dancing was both empowering **and** rooted in survival, how she secretly wrote screenplays between dances, and the unexpected skills that prepared her for the entertainment industry.We also dive into how working in clubs changed her perspective on men, relationships, confidence, and human behavior—and why it's time to challenge the stigma surrounding women in the industry.Whether you're interested in Hollywood success stories, personal growth, women's empowerment, or the psychology behind human behavior, this conversation is one you won't forget.👇 Let us know in the comments:**What surprised you most about Tessa's story?**👍 If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to Like, Subscribe, and Share!---## Chapters00:00 Introduction: From Navy Veteran to Hollywood Screenwriter02:47 Exotic Dancing: Empowerment vs. Survival Explained06:01 Writing Screenplays While Working in a Strip Club09:00 How Exotic Dancing Changed Tessa's Perspective on Men & Relationships11:54 Breaking the Stigma Around Exotic Dancing14:46 The Surprising Skills That Helped Tessa Succeed in Hollywood17:30 Reading People: Psychology, Confidence & Human Behavior20:15 Lessons on Creativity, Resilience & Reinvention22:45 Final Advice for Women Pursuing Unconventional Dreams---## In This Episode✔️ Tessa Scott's incredible journey from the Navy to Hollywood✔️ The truth about exotic dancing and the misconceptions surrounding it✔️ Empowerment versus survival in the adult entertainment industry✔️ Writing screenplays while working in a strip club✔️ How stripping changed her views on men and dating✔️ The psychology of reading people and understanding behavior✔️ Building confidence through unconventional experiences✔️ Breaking stereotypes surrounding sex work✔️ Lessons that helped Tessa become a successful screenwriter---## About Tessa ScottTessa Scott is a television writer, screenwriter, actress, and content creator known for writing Lifetime's *Single Black Female* film series. Her unconventional path—from military service to exotic dancing to Hollywood—has given her a unique perspective on storytelling, resilience, relationships, and human psychology.---# KeywordsTessa Scott, Hollywood screenwriter, screenwriting, exotic dancing, stripper stories, empowerment, women's empowerment, survival, Hollywood career, television writer, creativity, relationships, dating advice, psychology, confidence, success story, entertainment industry, Navy veteran, life after the military, women in Hollywood, personal growth, storytelling, female entrepreneur, self-confidence, reading people, communication skills

Red Flags or Trauma Trigger? Learning to Trust Yourself Again

Red Flags or Trauma Trigger? Learning to Trust Yourself Again Have you ever questioned whether you're noticing a genuine red flag—or whether your anxiety is responding to an old trauma? DBT Self Reset Series Part 3: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/XYJdjRgbA4b⁠ [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/XYJdjRgbA4b] Part 2: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/3809vSgbA4b⁠ [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/3809vSgbA4b] Part 1: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/CO7IUTgbA4b⁠ [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/CO7IUTgbA4b] START HERE - INTRO: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/NTJaVUgbA4b⁠ [https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/NTJaVUgbA4b] ANXIETY OR RED FLAG FREEBIE - www.therapykay.com/freebie In this episode, we're breaking down one of the biggest challenges many trauma survivors face: learning how to separate intuition from fear. Using practical Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills, I walk you through a simple three-step framework that can help you stop second-guessing yourself, identify unhealthy relationship patterns, and communicate more effectively. * The difference between trauma triggers and relationship red flags * Why anxiety can distort your perception * The DBT skill that helps rebuild self-trust * Observable facts versus assumptions * Why patterns matter more than isolated incidents * Healthy communication in relationships * Emotional regulation and relationship anxiety * Building confidence in your own judgment Whether you're healing from childhood trauma, navigating dating, or simply trying to trust yourself again, this episode offers practical tools you can begin using today. If this episode helped you, please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it. Free Resource: Download the Anxiety or Red Flag? guide at: https://www.therapykay.com/freebie [https://www.therapykay.com/freebie] Keywords: Red Flags, Trauma Triggers, Anxiety, DBT, Relationships, Self-Trust, Emotional Intelligence, Communication Skills, Mental Health, Relationship Anxiety, Trauma Recovery, Healthy Relationships, Dating After Trauma. In this episode we discuss: