How to Stay in Love with Your Soul Mate, with Special Guest Ester Brooks

How to Stay in Love with Your Soul Mate, with Special Guest Ester Brooks

Thirty-five years ago, I somehow convinced an extraordinary woman to marry me. Our relationship began like any other—attraction, a leap of faith, and eventually the decision to embark on the unknown journey ahead of us together.  In this episode of Office Hours, my wife, Ester Munt-Brooks, and I reflect on what we’ve learned over 35 years of choosing each other—from the risks we took early on, to why love is much more than a feeling. Drawing on the wisdom of Thomas Aquinas, we explore what it truly means to love—and how that understanding can transform every relationship. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile [https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks]—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbFE1RGNyMmlsVkFYSGdibnhMWnlsV1pLNFdlUXxBQ3Jtc0trRVJnNFVNY2FXbEYwdUwzUE9ZZzJOUC12Q2dud2dGYzBIQXNCcktERGo3UFhsSF9BcHp0WWxBalFEWElqTXhWM0VKa2Q5WmY4R2xrMXkxSXltdGc1dVh2X29oNHZXV2pDS3pmeHRpZnJia2JSaEhwMA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fnoblemobile.com%2Farthurbrooks&v=zKIVzjBC2H0https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks [https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks] — Where to find Ester Munt-Brooks:  • Website: https://www.fevaloryalegria.org/ [https://www.fevaloryalegria.org/]  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/estermunt [https://www.youtube.com/user/estermunt]  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FAITHWITHJOYTALKS/ [https://www.instagram.com/FAITHWITHJOYTALKS/] Where to find Arthur Brooks:  • Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://arthurbrooks.com/] • In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/] • Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter] • X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://x.com/arthurbrooks] • Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/] • Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/] • YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A] • LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/] • Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠officehours@arthurbrooks.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [officehours@arthurbrooks.com] — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (08:55) Arthur and Ester’s love story (14:02) The risks they took to give it a shot  (19:30) How Ester came to embrace marriage  (24:36) The next stage: Marriage and children (28:05) St. Thomas Aquinas’s definition of love  (45:20) What’s coming up in future episodes on love (46:04) The three big love lessons  (49:26) Q&A: Personalizing a morning routine for your needs  (55:06) Q&A: How to think about faith while dating (57:54) Q&A: How having children impacts happiness  (1:02:30) Q&A: How to meet people in person — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life]  • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership [https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership]  • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter]  • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale [https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale]  • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur [https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur] • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com [https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com] • ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours] — Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://penname.co/]⁠.

Why Success Never Feels Like Enough

Do you find yourself chasing success, working long hours, doing far more than is required, and thinking about work all the time? Congratulations—you might be a workaholic. (There’s no trophy for this, by the way. I checked.) In this episode of Office Hours, I dig into what workaholism is, where it comes from, and why it can be so damaging to your happiness and relationships. We discuss the connection between work addiction and the belief that love has to be earned (which turns out to be a surprisingly ineffective strategy). There’s good news: I also share three practical steps you can take to break the cycle, become more present for your loved ones, and find the deeper sources of happiness, meaning, and connection that no promotion will ever give you. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile [https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks]—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbFE1RGNyMmlsVkFYSGdibnhMWnlsV1pLNFdlUXxBQ3Jtc0trRVJnNFVNY2FXbEYwdUwzUE9ZZzJOUC12Q2dud2dGYzBIQXNCcktERGo3UFhsSF9BcHp0WWxBalFEWElqTXhWM0VKa2Q5WmY4R2xrMXkxSXltdGc1dVh2X29oNHZXV2pDS3pmeHRpZnJia2JSaEhwMA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fnoblemobile.com%2Farthurbrooks&v=zKIVzjBC2H0https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks [https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks] • Magic Mind [https://magicmind.com/]—Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically-backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com [http://magicmind.com/] — Where to find Arthur Brooks:  • Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://arthurbrooks.com/] • In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/] • Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter] • X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://x.com/arthurbrooks] • Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/] • Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/] • YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A] • LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/] • Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠officehours@arthurbrooks.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [officehours@arthurbrooks.com] — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:58) Why workaholism is so destructive (09:31) Work culture in Spain vs. the U.S. (11:11) The three classic signs of workaholism (12:26) Why people become workaholics (13:42) Four more signs of work addiction (15:01) Intrinsic rewards vs. extrinsic rewards (24:59) A thought experiment about intrinsic and extrinsic rewards (27:52) Where workaholism comes from (33:04) How to break your work addiction—Step 1: Face the truth (34:39) Step 2: Give what you most want to receive (36:02) Step 3: Make plans to change (38:12) Summary of the three steps (39:20) Q&A: The grief of divorce vs. death (40:35) Q&A: Coping with betrayal — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: http://themeaningofyourlife.com/http://themeaningofyourlife.com [http://themeaningofyourlife.com] • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership [https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership]  • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter]  • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale [https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale]  • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur [https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur] • Workaholism: definition, measurement, and preliminary results: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16370875 [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16370875] • Workload, Workaholism, and Job Performance: Uncovering Their Complex Relationship: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7557789 [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7557789] • PANAS quiz: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas] • 3 Steps to Managing Your Emotions: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-steps-to-managing-your-emotions [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-steps-to-managing-your-emotions] • ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours] — Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://penname.co/]⁠.

How to Beat Burnout

If you feel emotionally exhausted, cynical about your work, or like you’re no longer enjoying parts of the job you used to, you may be experiencing burnout. In this episode of Office Hours, I explain what burnout is, how psychologists define it, and what the research shows about its effects on the brain and body. We discuss the workplace conditions most likely to cause burnout, why some occupations experience it more than others, and the self-reinforcing cycle that makes even meaningful work feel draining. I also share five things employers can do to protect their employees from burnout and three practical ways individuals can create healthier boundaries between work and life so that each supports, rather than undermines, the other. — Brought to you by: • LMNT [http://drinklmnt.com/Arthur]—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur [http://drinklmnt.com/Arthur].  • Helix Sleep [https://go.helixsleep.com/audio-partner/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=brooks]—A mattress designed for every body. Go to helixsleep.com/brooks [http://helixsleep.com/brooks] for 20% off sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses for their Fourth of July Sale. — Where to find Arthur Brooks:  • Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://arthurbrooks.com/] • In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/] • Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter] • X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://x.com/arthurbrooks] • Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/] • Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/] • YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A] • LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/] • Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠officehours@arthurbrooks.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [officehours@arthurbrooks.com] — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (04:45) The origins of burnout (06:44) Herbert Freudenberger’s definition of burnout (07:25) What the research shows about burnout today (10:59) The three signs of burnout and Arthur’s experience (16:40) The physiology of burnout (20:14) The 7 causes of burnout (30:29) The occupations with the most burnout (35:10) Five things employers can do to safeguard against burnout (38:10) #1 way to fight burnout: Create space (40:54) #2 way to fight burnout: Work only in defined hours (42:23) #3 way to fight burnout: Work on your spiritual/philosophical life (44:15) Why remote work is not the answer to burnout (45:35) Recap: 3 ways to fight burnout (47:58) Q&A: Coping with being a full-time caregiver (50:01) Q&A: Adapting protocols to your life — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com [http://themeaningofyourlife.com] • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership [https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership]  • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter]  • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale [https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale]  • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur [https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur] • The Brothers Karamazov: https://www.amazon.com/Brothers-Karamazov-Fyodor-Dostoevsky/dp/0374528373 [https://www.amazon.com/Brothers-Karamazov-Fyodor-Dostoevsky/dp/0374528373] • Poor mental health costs UK employers £51 billion a year for employees: https://www.deloitte.com/uk/en/about/press-room/poor-mental-health-costs-uk-employers-51-billion-a-year-for-employees.html [https://www.deloitte.com/uk/en/about/press-room/poor-mental-health-costs-uk-employers-51-billion-a-year-for-employees.html] • Beyond Burnout: https://hbsp.harvard.edu/product/H0669W-PDF-ENG [https://hbsp.harvard.edu/product/H0669W-PDF-ENG] • Burnout Test: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/career/burnout-at-work [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/career/burnout-at-work] • ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours] — Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://penname.co/]⁠.

9 Rules for a Happier Vacation

Many people come home from vacation feeling disappointed. Not because the trip was bad, but because they expected it to do more than any vacation possibly can. In my previous episode on leisure [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-science-behind-being-good-at-leisure], I discussed its importance to happiness and well-being. A vacation, done well, is really an opportunity to practice leisure more intentionally—whether that means a chance to reconnect with the people you love, lose yourself in nature or culture or read a book you've been meaning to for three years. In this episode of Office Hours, I share nine research-backed protocols that can help you return from time away feeling happier, more fulfilled, and genuinely restored. We discuss why anticipation is one of the most enjoyable parts of any trip, why shorter vacations may be better than longer ones, and how taking too many photos or posting on social media can pull you out of the very experience you're trying to enjoy. — Brought to you by: • ⁠⁠⁠Noble Mobile⁠⁠⁠ [https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks]—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: ⁠⁠⁠https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠ [https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks] — Where to find Arthur Brooks:  • Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://arthurbrooks.com/] • In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠ [https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/] • Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter] • X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://x.com/arthurbrooks] • Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/] • Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/] • YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A] • LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/] • Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠officehours@arthurbrooks.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [officehours@arthurbrooks.com] — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (06:08) America's culture of skipping vacations (10:57) Vacation rule #1: Discern your motive (15:24) Vacation rule #2: Savor the anticipation (21:13) Vacation rule #3: Manage your expectations (23:32) Vacation rule #4: Break your trip into vacation-ettes (25:45) Vacation rule #5: Take fewer pictures  (28:48) Vacation rule #6: Don’t post  (30:43) Vacation rule #7: Leave work at home  (32:37) Vacation rule #8: Come home early  (34:00) Vacation rule #9: Brace yourself when you return  (35:50) Recap of the 9 vacation rules  (38:02) Q&A: Is music a distraction? (39:57) Q&A: Using screens during meals and before sleep — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: http://themeaningofyourlife.com/themeaningofyourlife.com [http://themeaningofyourlife.com] • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership [https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership]  • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter]  • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale [https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale]  • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur [https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur] • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com [https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com] • The Science Behind Being Good at Leisure: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-science-behind-being-good-at-leisure [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-science-behind-being-good-at-leisure] • 41% of American Workers Let Paid Vacation Days Go to Waste: https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/08/41-percent-of-american-workers-let-their-paid-vacation-go-to-waste/378950 [https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/08/41-percent-of-american-workers-let-their-paid-vacation-go-to-waste/378950] • The Contribution of Vacations to Quality of Life: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/256987230_The_Contribution_of_Vacations_to_Quality_of_Life [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/256987230_The_Contribution_of_Vacations_to_Quality_of_Life] • ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours] — Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://penname.co/]⁠.

How to Stop Dating the Wrong Person

Finding the right person is hard. Being attracted to the wrong one is just as common. In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why some people find themselves stuck in the same dating patterns over and over again, pursuing partners who are unavailable, manipulative, emotionally destructive, or struggling with addiction. I explain why attraction can override good judgment, why certain personality types are especially alluring, and how to learn from past mistakes and create healthier patterns in love. This episode focuses on choosing the right person in the first place. If you haven't yet listened to my episode, 3 Rules to Fall in Love and Stay in Love [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-rules-to-fall-in-love-and-stay-in-love], I recommend it as a companion to this conversation. Together, they offer a roadmap for both finding love and building a lasting relationship. — Brought to you by: • ⁠LMNT⁠ [http://drinklmnt.com/Arthur]—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at ⁠DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur⁠ [http://drinklmnt.com/Arthur] — Where to find Arthur Brooks:  • Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://arthurbrooks.com/] • In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/] • Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter] • X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://x.com/arthurbrooks] • Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/] • Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/] • YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A] • LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/] • Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠officehours@arthurbrooks.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [officehours@arthurbrooks.com] — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:19) Why dating feels so difficult (06:29) Dating Groundhog Day (10:12) Attraction to unavailable people (15:25) Substance abuse (18:29) The Dark Triad (20:56) How the Dark Triad reels you in (25:52) Why we ignore red flags (27:19) Dating strategy #1: Stop relying on others' judgment (28:48) Dating strategy #2: Address your emophilia (30:16) Dating strategy #3: Expand your time horizon (32:10) Dating strategy #4: Don’t focus on looks and status (33:21) Dating strategy #5: Look in the right place (35:15) Dating strategy #6: Stop looking for your ex (37:29) Dating strategy #7: Stop romanticizing doomed love (39:00) Q&A: How to reconcile being on your phone to learn more (40:15) Q&A: The value of fun leisure — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: http://themeaningofyourlife.com/themeaningofyourlife.com [http://themeaningofyourlife.com] • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership [https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership]  • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter]  • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale [https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale]  • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur [https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur] • Nearly Half of U.S. Adults Say Dating Has Gotten Harder for Most People in the Last 10 Years: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years [https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years] • Groundhog Day: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048 [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048] • Mate Choice Copying in Humans: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181063/ [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181063/]  • The ability to judge the romantic interest of others: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19076319 [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19076319] • ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours] — Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://penname.co/]⁠.